He was alone.
Gone was his home, his parents and now…gone was his brother for good and there was nothing he could do about it.
It seemed that his will left along with them, since he was barely aware of his actions, of where he was going and what he was doing, it felt as if a thick fog had settled over his mind and heart preventing him from thinking at all. He knew what had happened, a deep part of him was aware of the loss he had experienced, but he had pushed it to the deepest corner of his mind during the fight, allowing the anger and pain to take over him.
In the end it wasn't enough, the one thing he was good at wasn't enough to at least avenge his brother and that was what broke him.
So for the first time he ran, ran as far as he could, until he was completely alone, sitting in the highest place he could find, the soft breeze ruffled his unevenly cut hair as the adrenaline was slowly leaving his body, leaving him more and more tired.
Look after your brother.
Always, mother.
You're brothers, you should watch each other's backs not fight against each other.
Yes, mother.
Of course, mother.
He's always going to be your brother, no matter what, remember that even when it seems that he has forgotten it.
His mother's gentle voice came out of nowhere, like a whisper carried by the wind and was what made tears slide down his face as the numbness that had taken over him was fading away bringing forth a wave of emotions.
Guilt, anger, helplessness and hopelessness, the feeling of failing everything and everyone and more than anything the pain of losing his brother. His heart told him that this time his brother wouldn't appear out of nowhere with a self-satisfied smirk on his face as he happily and vaguely explained the way he avoided getting killed.
Forgive me mother for not being able to protect him.
He didn't even notice when his eyes closed as he let every possible emotion wash over him until there was nothing left but pain and the feeling of being unbelievably small and insignificant like never before.
“Why are you crying?” a familiar voice asked, one that sounded suspiciously like it belonged to his brother, before his heart could reach out and grab the imaginary hope he opened his eyes and quickly raised his head, only for his breath to catch in his throat at the sight in front of him.
“Loki?” he whispered as fresh tears fell from his eyes because now he was certain that his brother was never coming back.
In front of him, shimmering under the fading daylight as the stars slowly appeared on the sky was Loki, but not the one he lost. It was Loki when he was young, from the days when they were kids, innocent and carefree.
“You're still not funny Thor, of course it's me.” he tried to sound annoyed at Thor’s lack of words, but it was obvious that he was in fact curious.
Instead of saying something, Thor continued staring at him, afraid that if he blinked that the apparition would disappear.
“You look sad, did something happen? Was the new teacher being too hard on you the way he was on me? I have a brilliant prank for him, but I'll need your help. You'll help me right brother?” and he couldn't hold back the broken chuckle from escaping through his lips.
“Of course I will.” Loki grinned at the answer, the dimples on his cheeks a proof that his smile was a genuine one.
Then he was looking at him, his sharp eyes taking in Thor’s appearance and just like that his smile turned into a frown in an instant.
“Thor…” and before he had time to react, a pair of small hands slowly touched his forehead, rubbing at it for a few seconds, surprisingly real before he pulled back only for his expression to turn into one of worry.
“Blood, you've been hurt and you're crying, does it hurt that much?”
“More than you could imagine.” he lowered his gaze and whispered not expecting for Loki to hear him, but he did.
“What happened?” he asked and unable to resist the temptation Thor raised his eyes so he could meet Loki’s eyes once more and just like that the words spilled from his lips,
“I failed someone, failed to save…I wasn't strong enough, I lost you Loki.” the tears blurring his vision, but he kept on staring, kept on pleading for forgiveness than was impossible to get.
Unexpectedly instead of Loki stepping back in shock or rolling his eyes in annoyance, his eyes reflected nothing but understanding and sympathy. Then he shook his head and reached to cradle Thor’s head in his hands allowing himself to get pulled closer until Loki was holding his head in his arms while Thor was clinging to his arms with a fierce grip. Since they were pretty much at the same height due to the fact that one of them was sitting, Thor was quite comfortably resting his head on Loki’s chest while the boy was running his fingers through his hair.
“I'm so sorry brother, sorry…” he kept whispering through the tears.
“Remember what mother used to say, she's always with us and we're never alone as long as we have each other. You never lost me brother, I'll always be with you, even when you can't see me.” it took him a bit longer to make sense of the words, but that still didn't mean that he believed them.
“This time, it can't be fixed Loki, it's over.” his brother's arms were soft and warm and he acted with the gentleness only their mother possessed and that thought alone made his heart break once again.
“Mother is gone too.” he regretted saying that as soon as the words let his mouth, but Loki only hummed.
“Don't worry brother, wherever she is I'll look after her, after all I'm the smart one and you're the strong one, remember? There's nothing you can't do, no monster can stand in your way.” then he stopped talking only to take a few steps back so their gazes could meet.
“We'll always be with you and I know that you could never fail us, remember that brother, remember and you will always find your way.” he took another step back, Thor panicked and refused to let go of his brother's arms, knowing that if he let go for at least a moment the boy would disappear and he wasn't ready to do that.
“Don't go.” Loki gave him a sad look, but he didn't continue leaving, instead he rushed forward and gave him a hug.
The warmth was the last thing Thor felt before exhaustion pulled him under and he fell asleep dreaming of better days as Loki faded away with the first rays of sunlight as if he had never been there. And he hadn't.