It had been nine days since the fall of Thanos. The Avengers had said their goodbyes to the others who'd fought, and then retired to Stark Tower.
They had not had time to pause during the war, to reflect or process all the horror around them, or digest the difficult decisions that had had to be made. Their time together like this, afterwards, was essential and, though they tried to keep it feeling casual they all knew that sometimes, meetings could be more jovial than was really warranted. No matter. Debriefs, official and otherwise, had been gone over. Time together, drinks and reminiscing over the past. Eventually it could be delyed no longer- the days to split up and go their separate ways arrived. And, as those who still had homes went back to them, Thor sat on a cliff alone. In Norway.
He sat, relieved to be on his own at last, on a clifftop overlooking the sea. It was late evening. He had spent the last hour clearing a space and building an small pile of stones. It had a large stone at the bottom, and rose by smaller and smaller stones, till a pebblem and barely a ball of grit sat on the top. He had placed blades of flowering grass around it, and arranged shells into the shape of two horns. When he was ready, he knelt down. Once comfortable, he prayed;
"Loki, I bid you take your place in the halls of Valhalla
Where thine enemies have been vanquished
Where the brave shall live Forever
Nor....."
Another voice joined in from behind him, "Nor shall we mourn but rejoice for those that have died the glorious death."
Thor knew, though didn't believe, who this was. It wasn't the first time that he had been interrupted whilst praying this way. He turned, slowly...
Loki stood there, looking down at him, his eyes smiling, green and clear.
"Hello brother." He said, quietly.
Thor stared. He knew that this must not be true. He watched. It could only have taken a few moments but as he looked over his brother, soaking in every detail, it seemed much longer.
"Loki..." he said, barely above a whisper.
Loki stood in a familiar, simple black suit. His arms hung at his sides, his palms slowly turning towards Thor.
"Walk with me, brother," he said.
Thor lifted himself off the ground and, hesistating, not taking his eyes off him, he walked towards Loki. Loki grinned and nodded, and the two of them turned to walk along the cliff, Loki with his long hands in his pockets.
His heart racing, Thor tried to act normally, and tried to pretend that he could take all this in his stride. So he sniffed loudly, coughed, ostensibly wiping his mouth across his wrist. Loki just looked ahead and smiled, full knowing what Thor was doing.
For a while, the only sound was from waves sweeping the beach below.
"Why did you come here?" Loki asked, at last.
"This is where our fath.... where Odin left us."
Loki looked down and swallowed, noticing how Thor had thought it might hurt him to call Odin his father. Very thoughtful of him, very discerning, he thought. But nothing could upset him now, and the usual jolt in the heart that such a thing would have caused before, didn't come.
"I was... I was thinking of you. I've missed you," Thor slowed down his pace, letting Loki walk ahead a little, "I am missing you." FInally, tears.
"I know." Loki smiled, tilting his head, "It's been hard for you. I have watched, you know."
Loki's grin: a smile, a chuckle. "Here he is!" thought Thor, "Here's brother! Making light of matters of sentiment!"
"Eh eh. Come on! I haven't finished with you yet." Loki signalled to Thor over his shoulder, "Come along."
The two strolled on, till they came upon the rock where they'd sat with Odin before his spirit had ascended. Not speaking of what it was, they looked first at it and then each other, eyes meeting, and Thor realised where they were and smiled back at Loki. They took their seats and watched the kittiwakes as they swooped across the water, farther out to sea.
"Here was the beginning of the end," Thor looked thoughtfully at the empty space between them. "Hela, Ragnarok, the war. We threw Asgard away. Lost so many. SO much blood, brother. So much blood shed through ALL our lives. How are you...."
Loki looked serious now, watching Thor as he spoke.
"Everyone thought you would go to Helheim,"
Loki raised his eyebrows at this,
"What with all your twists and turns! Huh!" Thor turned to Loki, "I guess there is forgiveness after all."
"No, brother, there isn't,"
"Wh...what? You mean... what?" Thor began to panic. Had Loki come to say goodbye, before sinking to the land of the dishonourable dead? He gulped, tried to catch a breath, "NO! No that can't be. By the Gods! Not that place. There must be forgiveness, Loki. You can't go there. You can't be lost.."
"It's ALL. RIGHT." Loki held his hand a little above Thor's arm, then gently, "it's all... right.. I've not be judged unworthy. There is no forgiveness, but there is redemption. I've come here to say goodbye, dear brother, but also to thank you."
Thor's eyes were screwed up against his tears and confusion, "Thank me? But.. wha ? What for? I only ever berated you. I was unfair so often, Loki..."
"You gave me a chance when I needed it most. It's because of you, your actions, your decisions, that I am with our mother and father.
It was not lost on Thor's ears that Loki had acknowledged their parents. He continued:
"I was jealous at times, and my rage pushed you all away. But I always loved you. And when you said that Asgard was the people, I knew in my heart that you truly were their king. And I knew what I had to do for you. I knew then that I would die, if necessary, to save them. It was you, brother it was always you. I had to do what I could to get you all out of Asgard alive. "
"SO I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR DYING?"
"NO!" Loki ached to reassure him, "No," he repeated, gently, smiling, "No, I made the decision. It came to me that if I bundled up all the power that I'd used badly in the past, then I could do it. I reached down into myself and pulled together all my power and knew that I could use it again, this time for a good thing. And it worked. It did hurt, but it worked. That's how I survived the vaults. That's how I got out after bringing Surtur's head to the Everlasting Flame. -I got out because I needed to. I willed it. I wasn't afraid."
"And the Tesseract? What of that? That led Thanos to us!"
"No. I took the Tesseract because I knew its power. I knew it could be a powerful weapon AGAINST Thanos:- he was already on his way. Heimdall had seen him. He spoke to me of it, on Bifrost, as we herded the people towards the ship. I hadn't known the size of HIS ship though. I hadn't known what was on board it, either. I thought he might come to us somewhere on land. I never thought he would attack us there. I didn't know Heimdall had seen him there."
Thor was looking down at his feet. Gulls swooped low and snatched away the silence.
"But," he said quietly, as Loki leaned in to hear him, "But did you know that Thanos would kill you?" Tears again, dreading Loki's answer.
"I knew Thanos of old, "Loki explained, "He caught me when I fell into the abyss. And although he showed me more worlds and more knowledge than I would ever have seen had I stayed on Asgard, his price was high. I suffered, and I knew that he would make every being in the universe suffer. I KNEW that he would take half of everything," Loki paused, "and," -waiting for Thor to look up at him- "there were TWO princes of Asgard..... so I knew he would want one of us."
Thor stared at him. He was just grasping how Loki had achieved his redemption. He had won it, as so often redemption is won, with a sacrifice. But had saving Thor really been enough? Enough to balance Loki's book? All those deaths? Injuries? Insults? Suffering?
Loki could hear his thoughts. "No," he smiled, "As much as I see my beloved brother's virtues, I don't think my saving just you would have helped in the great scheme of things!" Thor grinned. Loki continued, "Our actions, though, saved civilisations. And you were better to lead the Avengers, so you had to live. Would they have trusted me? Would anyone on Midgard? In a way, I died for having made them doubt me, through the terrible things I did in New York - I died for my past. I died for you, and I died for the future. That saved me. And without you, I wouldn't have done that."
Loki stood. "Thank you, Thor."
Thor and Loki locked eyes. Then Thor realised that Loki had just done something he hadn't done since they'd been boys together, playing chase in the corridors of Asgard's Royal Palace: he had used his name. He stood and went to hug him, just remembering at the last second that this was impossible. Loki nodded. Yes, he had wanted to as well.
"I have to go." Loki looked out across the sea.
Thor saw the sea breeze catch Loki's hair again. A tiny glimpse of hope stirred him once more: if Loki weren't really here, how can his hair move in the wind?
Loki turned, "It's because your mind adds in all the little details," he said, "That's why, if you look, I have a shadow, as well! Clever, isn't it?" He grinned.
Thor stared, amazed. He looked down and, sure enough, Loki was somehow casting a shadow. The ground that the shadow fell onto was real. But the shadow was not.
"Huh! Thor thought, "Well in all my centuries, I never knew that."
He looked up to witness an aquamarine swirl where Loki had been standing. It was spinning and changing to emerald, then gold. He fell back, afraid.
As the light cleared, Loki was there, resplendant, transformed. He was now dressed in clothes worthy of a hallowed place. But as he was no longer in danger, he needed no armour. Instead, he was robed in knee length black velvet, with Norse patterns around the edges, embroidered in sparkling gold thread. Jewels glistened around the neck. A twisting belt hung loosely around his hips. Long boots, in fresh, polished, black leather reached through twisting patterns to the ground. His black hair was longer now, falling onto his shoulderblades, it was thick, neat and glossy in the evening sun. Above it, and fitting for a Prince, there sat a crown. Short sided, silver, and curled into a pattern showing the branches of Yggdrasil. His skin, not so pale now, clear and -to Thor's amazement- seeming so full of health and life. His eyes sparkled nothing but love.
"Goodbye, brother," he said, peacefully, smiling. He winked as he turned to walk towards the cliff edge.
"WAIT!" shouted Thor, "PLEASE!"
Loki turned, still smiling, and playfully rolled his eyes. "Always the last word, Thor?"
"Wait." Thor repeated, trying to remember what he was going to say. "Will I see you again? Will I see mother and father? Will I.. will I see you again?"
"There is a palace there," said Loki, "And a large refrectory. It has a long, dressed, table where everyone feasts. Our parents are keeping a place for you, near the top of it. You'll see." he grinned, then turned back to continue walking.
"AND YOU? LOKI! LOKI, WHAT OF YOU?!"
Loki looked back over his shoulder at Thor.
"I'M THERE, THOR!" he called, then, gently, "I'm there." He smiled.
And he turned to walk towards the sea, where instead of stopping at the edge of the cliff, he continued, his feet seemingly stepping out onto air.
Thor stood, looking on, as his brother's image faded, paler and paler, then burst again into vibrant green sparkles and gold tipped orbs, rising, up, up and up, spreading out into the darkening sky, till the cloud of jewels lost itself among the stars.