
Chapter 9
After a few days of doing things around the house Laura was finally free and they planned to spend the day fishing at the lake. Clint had taken Steve the day before to get a rod and some bait from the Walmart. It had been an experience to say the least. Mostly as a joke he had picked out a kid's Incredible Hulk fishing rod but Clint had found him an Iron man baseball cap to wear. They loaded up the car with a cooler and chairs and headed for the lake. It was a short enough drive. Honestly Steve could have run there if he wanted to but he was happy to ride with the Barton family.
Lila was showing him how to bait the hook with a worm that Clint had cut into pieces. “I thought you used the whole worm?” Lila rolled her eyes. “It’s too big for the hook and we only have 12 of them. You would be out before you even caught a fish.” He nodded “Oh ok. Well I should listen to an expert shouldn’t I?” Laura came over and interrupted his lesson. "Lila sweetie, let's get sunscreen on you. She began to put lotion on her face, shoulders, neck, and chest. She then moved to Steve. “I’m fine Laura. Even if I burn it won’t last long.” She stared him down “No. You are pastier white than Natasha, super soldier or not you are putting on sunscreen, NOW.” Clint and Cooper were quietly watching the showdown. Steve held his ground for a while longer but inevitably he faltered. “Fine. I can put it on myself.” She tossed him the bottle. We reapply in 90 minutes unless you go swimming before then.” After a moment Steve resumed preparing his rod with Lila.
Sure enough 90 minutes later on the dot Laura walked right up to Steve and began to apply sunscreen as if he were one of her kids. He could hear her muttering under her breath. “What is it?” She shook her head "you missed your years. That doesn’t hurt at all?” He shrugged “it stings a bit but it will be ok in a bit.” She pulled his shirt up and began to put some on his back causing him to yelp. “Stop being such a child. I swear you are worse than Clint.”
“OOOOOOoooooo, you’re agitating mommy” the kids teased while Clint was suspiciously quiet.
They fished for a while longer getting a nibble here and there but nothing more. “I think even the fish agree it's too hot. How about we go for a swim guys?” The kids eagerly jumped up and headed to Laura for more sunscreen before they got in. Clint was already putting some on where he could reach and tossed the bottle to Steve. “Can you get my back?” He chuckled “Sure Clint.”
“Clint honey, make sure to get Steve too.” Steve rolled his eyes but was otherwise smiling. “She’s worse than Nat” he quietly muttered to Clint. “Where do you think Nat learned it?”
Once Laura was satisfied that everyone was protected they jumped in. Steve sat on the side dipping his feet in. “Aren’t you getting in?” He looked up at Laura. "I um...I’ve never swam before. I was trying to gauge how deep it was and I…” Whatever followed came out in a low mumble drowned out by Clint and the kids playing and splashing. Laura took a seat on the bank next to him. “It’s not too deep, probably up to your shoulders. There is a marker right out there that tells you where it drops down so that the fish don't freeze to death in the winter.” She pointed over to a pole with a green flag in the water about 100 feet out. As long as you stay on this side you will be ok.” He gave a small nod and slid into the water. It was a little cooler than he expected but he knew he could do this.
He took a deep breath to calm himself and carefully moved towards Clint. As he pulled his arm out of the water he let out a panicked shriek as it had several large leeches on it. Clint noticed the freak out and came over. “Steve calm down. They won't harm you ,see we all got them.” He held up his arm to reveal a few on him. He scrambled out of the water and Laura came over with a spray bottle. “Here this works" she sprayed the leeches and they easily let go and she tossed them back into the water. “I guess we should have warned you about leeches.” Steve shook his head. “Yea...I’m gonna pass on swimming. When I was a kid some of my treatments involved leeches.” Laura patted his arm “That's ok you can keep me company.” He nodded looking towards the spray bottle. “What is that?” She smiled "just a little saline solution. It doesn't hurt the leeches but it makes them let go.”
He watched as the kids and Clint splashed around occasionally peeling a leech off and laughing at the marks they left. “Clint, don’t let them do that. I’ll spray them down if they want them off.” Steve smiled at the chorus of aws from them. “You certainly have your hands full with them. How do you do it when he’s away?” She smiled “I have help when I need it and we raised them well. They know when dad’s not here I need all the help I can get especially when it gets close to this little one’s arrival.” Her hand rested on the small barely visible bump. “I can’t wait to tell Nat. You have to keep it a secret. She will be crushed if you found out first.” He nodded “Scout’s honor.”
As the day went on Steve managed to catch one pitiful little trout but Clint took a picture of him holding it proudly to send Nat. Laura badgered him constantly about sunscreen which he had applied every time she told him too. He took a little time to draw as they swam and fished and had started reading a book or two. They had a late lunch and no one questioned that Steve practically inhaled four sandwiches and a handful of cookies. They packed up around sunset. “Hey guys, how about I order some pizza? It should be here in a little while and we can watch a movie.” The kids cheered as they climbed into the car. Steve was hungry and exhausted but he would be more than happy to watch a movie. About an hour later everyone was washed up and in pajamas happily eating pizza.
The kids were piled on a blanket on the floor and Clint and Laura were each in a chair leaving Steve the couch. Lila had picked Beauty and the Beast to watch and if they were still up for it afterward Cooper had picked the little mermaid. He made it halfway through Beauty and the Beast before he fell asleep.when he woke up again the tv was off and a blanket was placed over him and all the pizza mess was cleaned up. For a moment he forgot where he was. “Jarvis what time is it?” It sank in that he was at Clint's and he looked around. The clock on the microwave read 2:30 am. He got up, stretched, grabbed a drink of water and for once headed back to bed still tired from the long day at the lake.
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A week and a half had flown by faster than Steve had expected. They were going to go horseback riding tomorrow and the kids were pretty excited and his birthday was in a couple days too. He was torn between excitement and dread. He had a feeling the Barton's had something planned but he wasn't sure where his head would be that day. On his last birthday with Bucky he gifted him a ring. They knew they couldn't be married for real but they didn't need papers or a church to tell them they were meant for each other.
Laura noticed Steve lost in his head as Clint herded the kids upstairs for their bath. "Hey… need to talk?" He was startled a moment having forgot where he was again. "I… it's nothing." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Doesn't seem like nothing to me. You can talk about anything here and it stays here." She got up and grabbed two glasses and filled them with milk and gave him one and then placed down a pack of oreos. She watched Steve's eyes light up with recognition.
"A little birdie told me you have a sweet tooth and i did some research. Thought something familiar would be nice." He took a cookie and peeled it apart. "Ma would get a pack for me for Christmas if she could afford them. They were an honest to god treat when they were around. I always shared them so normally I got one of them and then the rest were offered to others. When Buck got his first pay from the docks he bought a pack just for me. That was a good night." She could see a blush creeping across his skin.
"You loved him huh?" He stopped a moment. "I mean yea...he...he...he was my best friend." Laura gave him a look. "Sweetheart if anyone thinks he was only your friend when they see you talk about him they are blind." He was silent, unsure of what to say next. He knew Clint was accepting but he didn't know where Laura stood. "Does Nat know?" He nodded his head "I like dames too it's just… Clint told me there was a word for that now. I just I...I…" she moved over to him "hey hey it's ok. You can love whoever you want. We don't punish people for that anymore."
He took a deep breath "I got outed before we came here. At first I thought I could deal with it. I didn't feel like I had to hide myself but now it's just...seeing how people still treat people like me….clearly my team isn't all for it. What about the others. My avengers. What if they don't want to follow me anymore. What if Tony doesn't want me at the tower? I'd have to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D. and we know how that went." He was beginning to shake and he couldn't breathe. Laura pressed her hand to his back and began to rub. "Steve….Steve sweetie listen to me. Listen, no one is going to abandon you. Tony Stark especially. That man has been the biggest supporter of the LGBTQ community. Stark industries recognized same sex partners for benefits at least a decade before most large companies not to mention the man is openly bisexual. The point is if you talk to them I think you will find more people will support you than not."
He closed his eyes focusing on his breathing. "That's it. In...out...in….out. Good, good. Finish your milk and try to get some sleep. It's gonna be a good day tomorrow."
The day was so far off to a terrible start. The early morning hours brought a thunderstorm. Clint found Steve on the floor in the corner of the room, his hands over his ears trying to drown everything out. Clint carefully sat across from him and spoke to him. When he finally acknowledged him Clint moved closer. "Hey big guy. Let's get you into bed. I got you. You're at the farm, it's july 1st 2013. We are going horseback riding tomorrow and Nat might be home early. Let's get into bed." He heaved Steve into the bed and to Steve's surprise he climbed in with him wrapping his arms tightly around him and resting his chin on his shoulder.
"You...should be with Laura" he croaked.Clint only held him tighter. "She and I have an understanding. You aren't the only one who's needed a thunder buddy." Steve relaxed a little in his hold. "I'm being a child. I know it's thunder. I know….." he gasped as he tried to hold back more tears. "Hey, yes you know it's thunder but sometimes our brain is slow on the uptake and misses a step. It's totally fine to be upset. I told you hundreds if not thousands of people not just soldiers have these same triggers. You are not a child and if anyone tells you that you are either you sock 'em in the mouth or tell me and I'll do it." Steve chuckled "I will remember that but I don't think Pepper wants the Pr issues that come from me punching someone."
"Guess that means I gotta do it then cuz no one really knows who the hell I am."
Clint stayed with him the rest of the night protectively wrapped around him as if he could make the thunder go away. Steve woke up just before sunrise and carefully nudged him. They both got up without a word and began to get the day moving.as Steve fixed the bed he found a small ragged stuffed cat by his pillow and picked it up. Clint spotted it and smiled.
"Looks like the kids slipped in here sometime in the night. Lila did that for Nat a few years ago and for me last year. Nat has a fish, I have a unicorn. I have to say though you must be extra special because you have Kip. That's one she is very particular about so take care of him." He looked up from the cat. "I cant take her toy." Clint shook his head. "Not hers anymore. When she gives you a friend while you are having a bad night it is the unspoken rule that you keep it. That way she knows you are ok."
Steve sat holding the toy in his hands. It was clearly well loved and well cared for. He remembered a bear he had that was in similar condition. Sadly it was lost when he was sick because they had to destroy items to prevent the spread of disease. When he sat down at the breakfast table he smiled at Lila. "Thanks for the friend." She nodded and didn't say anything about it. Once finished the kids excitedly waited as they packed up the car to go horseback riding for the day. Steve still wasn't sure how that was going to go but Clint seemed determined to get him on a horse.