Vacation

Evening 2 of their near cross country road trip found them in a small town with a crappy motel and a dinner. They walked in and the place stopped dead as they looked at Steve in his tight t shirt and Clint in his purple Hawaiian shirt looking more like he was headed for California than a farm. They took a seat at a booth and things seemed to resume. Steve looked around a little nervously. “I um...don’t think we are welcome here Clint.” He rolled his eyes. “Come on they just probably don’t get many out of towners especially ones that look like they should be a GQ cover model.”

After a while a waitress finally came over. “Can I help you fellas?” Clint grinned at her “Yes ma’am can I get a cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake?” She frowned “No. You can get out.” Steve looked at her “Excuse me Ma’am?” She glared at him “I think you heard me fine son. You can get out. Get in your car and keep moving.” Clint noticed the cook had now stepped out from the kitchen and was edging closer. Steve sat back in his seat a little. “I don’t think I understand. Have we done something wrong?” It was a brief moment but Clint saw it. The scrawny kid in the history books who didn’t back down. “Last I checked this was a free country and my friend and I have the right to stop for dinner.”

The woman nodded “It is a free country and a private business reserves the right to not serve customers they don’t want to.” He crossed his arms. “That is true Ma’am but only when there is a reason. As far as I see all we did was walk in the door and seat ourselves as the sign said.” A few more were now stepping over and Clint had to admit he was getting nervous. “It would be a shame for the health department to get a call from a concerned patron regarding the state of this place or worse the better business bureau.” finally a scrawny little guy with a mullet shot up from his seat at the counter. “She tried to be nice about it but you ain’t gettin' it. We don’t welcome fags.”

To the surprise of Clint and everyone else in the diner Steve began to laugh. After a minute or two he composed himself. “Damn. It’s a shame I didn’t bring my black boyfriend and it’s a shame no one taught you not to judge a book by it’s cover. He’s married to a wonderful woman. Now we both know that the next town is at least three hours away and it’s already quite late so how about we order food we pay for food that food and we go on with our lives, at the end of the day you still get paid.” Clint thought for a moment and it was a very short moment that Steve may have charmed his way out of this mess but he was sadly mistaken.

The cook was now at the table looking at them. “Son just leave. Do the smart thing.” Steve stood up and rolled his eyes. “Seems to me this town wouldn’t know what the smart thing was if it walked up and bit them.” Clint could only groan as Steve dug a deeper hole. “Son, you need to learn some respect.”
“That’s another thing. Where do you get off calling me son. I’m older than you by a long shot.” The man just stared at him. “He’s Captain America you dumb ass” Clint finally groaned out. Now everyone in the diner was staring wide eyed. “Is he shittin' us?” Steve grinned. “You can take his word for it or we can find out in the parking lot. What’s it gonna be boys?” Most of them sat down. The cook did not and that was what Clint was afraid of. He was huge even when compared to Steve. Steve wasn’t in top shape. Bruce had told him he needed to take it easy. The man finally looked at the waitress. “Just get their orders so they can eat and get out.”

The rest of their meal was pretty much uneventful but rushed. The waitress practically threw their food at them. Steve still smiled and thanked her. When they got the bill he left a $100 tip. Clint shook his head but didn’t question it. Steve was peculiar when you picked a fight with him but there was a method to the madness. When they got to the truck there was a note on the windshield. “Best bet is a campground a few miles out of town. You don’t want to stay in that motel.” Clint passed the note to Steve. “Sounds good to me if it’s good to you.” He shrugged “As long as I can get some sleep and you don’t get into a parking lot fight with Shrek in there we are good.”

They found the signs for the campground and pulled up to the office. A young woman stepped out and smiled “Diner guys! Sorry I got a text from my gal she said you didn’t get a great reception in town. Welcome to the outsiders. I can rent ya a tent or a cabin. Just let me know what ya prefer.” Steve held out his hand. “Nice to meet you. I'm Steve, this is Clint. Seems they got some funny ideas in town about my relationship with my friend here.” She looked between them and smiled “Yup. That’s Redsburrough for ya. Clearly two dudes traveling together have to be gay. I mean so what if they are. They should be happy someone stopped along the way to give them business. So what brings ya to the death of culture anyway?” They followed her into the office.

“Passing through, Heading home to my wife and kids and bringing my friend to meet them.” She smiled and pulled out a map. Cabins are in the back here. They are $90 a night. Tent sites are $75 that includes the tent and sleeping bags since I’m pretty sure you didn’t bring those along. Breakfast is ready at 8 check out by noon.” Steve looked over at Clint “Your choice I’ll pay.”
“Cabin please. I’m not the tent camping type.” Steve laughed “I haven't slept in a tent since 1944.” The girl put a hand on her hip “So my gal wasn’t lying, you are Captain America?”

“Yup the one and only.” She smiled “Well in that case don’t worry about paying. I wouldn’t feel right taking your money.” Clint laughed “He won’t accept that. He even gave the waitress at the diner a $100 tip.” She grinned “Maybe I should charge you double but seriously my town has definitely screwed up when they don’t even welcome Captain America.” He shook his head “To be fair I didn’t go in and announce myself and frankly I don’t want to go out of my way to make them like me if that's how they treat people.” She nodded “Yup. That's why I live out here just like my parents and my grandparents. Anyone who is able just gets outta here but I figure if I’m not here to give people passing through a safe place to sleep it could get ugly for some. I don’t want this town to become another Laramie.” Clint turned to explain it to Steve but he nodded “I know what she’s talking about. It was in the book from S.H.I.E.L.D.”

She took them to a cabin and said goodnight leaving the two of them in silence. “I can’t believe those people. I fought to stop things like that. Buck and I always hoped that one day people like us would be safe to be who we are. Even now gay people can’t even get married in all 50 states.” Clint had no words. Steve had a lot to process over the last few days. “I can only tell you that people have been doing everything to make it right and while it should have been legal way before now in all states we are getting there.” He nodded “I know Clint. I know. I see people aren’t locked away or given cruel operations to "fix" them. Still so many are facing loss of jobs and homelessness not to mention the abuse and...and..and….”

He watched as Steve collapsed onto the bed, his chest heaving as his body shook. “Easy Steve easy.” He looked over at him. “I can’t breath Clint...I can’t breath.” He came over. “It’s ok. Try and match my breathing. Nice and slow in and out.” He rubbed his hand up and down his back. “Hey can you tell me what colors you see in the room?” He looked at him wide eyed and confused. “C..c..can’t see colors. You know that Buck.” He kept rubbing his back. “Steve. It’s Clint. Not Bucky. It’s 2013. You are on a road trip with me, remember? You can see colors fine now. Tell me what you see ok?”
“P..P..Purple….Black…..b..b..brown…..” He calmed down a little as his breathing evened out and he leaned into Clint.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have gotten a grip. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that. It’s not fair for you to deal with my problems.” Clint didn’t move him. “Man I can be there if you need me. Is that the first time you have had a panic attack?” He adjusted on the bed still looking down playing with the hem of his shirt. “Is that what that was?” Clint couldn’t help the slap to his own forehead. “Did you tell your therapist about this?” He shook his head. “She said I would adjust better if I learned to take care of myself and my problems. I was too dependent on people like Bucky to deal with things and I’m not a child anymore. I need to deal with things head on.” Clint blew out a breath to keep from screaming. "What else has your therapist told you?”

Steve got really quiet. “I..don’t want to bother you with it.” He pulled him into a hug. “I don’t know what they told you but the last thing you should be doing is bottling this stuff up or dealing with it alone. God no wonder you haven’t completely adjusted. I’m gonna tell you here and now, it is absolutely ok to come to someone if you are having a problem. Me, Nat, Bruce, hell I bet even Tony could help if it really came down to it. You have needs as a human being and if those needs are neglected you will destroy yourself.”

He wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded. “Yea, Thor said something kinda like that. He found me in the common room after a…. a panic attack? He calmed me and took me back to bed. I kinda go to him but I don’t talk, I just lay down with him and it helps. Keeps me grounded ya know.” He patted his back. “Yea but if you ever need to talk or if Thor’s not around any of us would be happy to help. We want you to be healthy physically and emotionally. Is that what's been eatin’ at ya these last few weeks?” He shook his head. “Don’t like the fireworks.”

“You what?” He was looking at his feet again. “The fireworks. I used to love them. Ma always said they were for me cuz it was my birthday but then last year….All i could think of was the war. It felt so real I could almost smell the bodies. I thought I was going insane. My therapist told me they were just fireworks and I would get used to it.” Clint couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Um...dude..Tony goes to Malibu because he has flashbacks to Afghanistan when he hears fireworks. Bruce goes out of the country to keep the Hulk from freaking out. Hundreds of soldiers go through the exact same thing. You are not being a child and you sure as hell aren’t alone. You need a new fuckin' therapist.”

The next morning they grabbed breakfast and packed up to move on. Clint said they would be at his house that evening and he was ready to go. Steve paid for the cabin despite protests from the owner and thanked her for her kindness. He just hoped that the last leg of this trip was less eventful compared to yesterday.