“Steve, you’re not leaving this table until you eat some God damn breakfast,” Sam warns as she shoves a plate of eggs and toast in Steve’s direction, finally putting his foot down.
“I’m not hungry,” Steve mumbles, looking away from the plate of food.
“Not hungry? Dammit, Steve. You haven’t eaten anything in three days, and the last thing you ate was a tiny granola bar. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re pregnant, which means you’re eating for two now,” Sam says, and that’s when it finally hit him. Steve is purposefully not taking care of himself because he doesn’t care whether he loses the baby or not. This worries Sam even more. “Steve-”
“Don’t,” Steve growls, glaring at him. “Don’t you dare mention his name.”
“I wasn’t going to,” Sam frowns. “But, Steve… I know how you feel about the baby, but the way you’re going about this isn’t healthy. Why didn’t you just talk to one of us?”
Steve scoffs. “If I told any one of you that I didn’t want this baby, you’d try to convince me to keep it,”
“I think you should keep the baby,” Sam agrees, nodding. “I know you don’t want to keep the baby because of everything that happened with… him, but that’s no good reason to abort the baby.”
“It doesn’t matter whether it’s a good reason or not, Sam. It’s my body, and if I feel like I shouldn’t keep the baby, then I won’t, because it’s my choice,” Steve argues. “I’m not even fit to be a parent. I’m not… Jesus, not after everything that’s happened to me.”
“I don’t know. I feel like that would make you a better parent. You have been through a lot,” Sam says. “Bucky would agree with me, and you know it. Look man, we just want the best for you.”
Steve shakes his head and buries his face in his hands. “I feel like I’m reaching my breaking point,”
“Because you’re putting all this damn stress on yourself. You don’t have to go through this alone, Steve, and you seem to be forgetting that. We’re here to help you. I’m here, and Bucky’s still here even while he’s working on recovery. Even Wanda says she loves kids, and you’ve seen Nat with Clint’s kids. Just, think about it a little more before you make a final decision. Please?” Sam begs.
“You know I’m probably not going to change my mind, right?” Steve asks, looking over at Steve.
Sam nods in understanding. “Yeah, but at least I’m trying, right?”
Steve sighs, feeling a little guilty for putting his friends through all of this. “I appreciate it, Sam. I really do. I just don’t know if I’m ready to have this baby,” he mumbles.
“Think about it,” Sam reminds him. “You’re still eating that breakfast.”
Steve rolls his eyes as Sam walks out of the kitchen. He glances around him nervously before looking down at the breakfast in front of him, and then his stomach growls. “Fine,” he grumbles angrily, before grabbing the fork and stabbing the eggs with it, and then finally eating the breakfast.
~
A few days later, Steve finds himself getting sick in his bathroom.
Morning sickness is not fun at all, and probably his least favorite part of being pregnant.
Steve’s only about a month pregnant. Which means it’s been a month since he’s last seen his husband, since he left him for dead in Siberia. Steve doesn’t regret not signing the accords, taking Bucky’s side, but he does regret almost killing Tony. He has nightmares about that day. He wishes he could call Tony, and beg for forgiveness. But, he’s a wanted criminal. It’s not like he can just walk outside these days.
Steve knows Tony would only turn him in if he tried to contact him, and Steve can’t risk that.
Besides, Tony doesn’t even know he’s pregnant. What would happen to the baby? Tony would probably try to take his child away from him. Steve’s heart aches at the thought… but wait…
Steve groans as he leans back against the wall, grabbing onto his stomach.
Steve doesn’t want the baby. He can’t have this baby. There’s a chance this baby will look like Tony, and Steve doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle looking at the baby without having mental breakdowns.
It’s not like Steve likes the thought of aborting the baby.
“You’re thinking so loud, you’re giving me a damn headache, Rogers,”
Steve instantly looks up and he smiles weakly when he sees Natasha standing in the bathroom doorway. “Hey Nat,” Steve greets, reaching over and flushing the toilet. “Sorry for your suffering.”
Natasha shrugs her shoulders, a small smile on her face. “Feeling okay?”
“I’m getting through it,” Steve mumbles, wiping at his eyes. “Fuck. I still have eight months of this?”
Natasha chuckles. “Well, maybe you should have used a condom,” she suggests.
Steve glares at her. “Shut up. Maybe I would have if I’d known he wouldn’t be here with me,” he snaps. “We knew before I could get pregnant, and- and we were okay with the thought of me getting pregnant. But now…” He takes a deep breath. He can’t even think about Tony without getting emotional.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Natasha says, bending down to look at Steve. “It won’t always be like this.”
“How do you know that, Tasha?” Steve asks, sniffing. “I know you guys keep saying that I’m not alone, and- and I appreciate all the help you’re giving me, but it’s not the same when he’s not here with me now, and I can’t fucking call him to tell him about it because he’ll probably trace the call and find our location. But, it’s not like I can blame him. It’s my fault. I started this mess the moment I went behind Tony's back to save Bucky.”
“We’re trying,” Natasha tells him. “I’ve been talking to Tony, and trying to convince him that we don’t need the accords, but he’s being very stubborn about it. I’m sorry, Steve. I hate seeing you suffer like this.”
“Thanks. I know you’re trying to help,” Steve mumbles. He looks up at Natasha. “Help me up?”
Natasha laughs, and grabs a hold of Steve’s arm, and helps pull him up from the bathroom floor. “So, you’ve been thinking about keeping the baby?” She asks.
Steve sighs. “It’s not like I want to get rid of the baby,” he says, looking over at Natasha. “But, I would just feel better if I could talk to Tony about it. We planned this together. I can’t raise this baby by myself.”
“I know,” Natasha nods. “Maybe you should just call him? Risk it. If it’ll make you feel better,” she says.
“You guys must be really desperate for me to keep the baby if you’re suggesting for me to call Tony,” Steve says, raising his eyebrows, he reaches over to turn on the sink so he can wash his hands.
“It’s not just about keeping the baby, Steve. Trust me. We just want you to feel better about the situation, and be healthier while we’re at it. If calling Tony is what it takes, then I think it’s worth it,” Natasha says. She pulls a burner phone out of her pocket. “You have Tony’s number. Call him.”
Steve takes a deep breath as he stares at the phone in his hands, not acknowledging Natasha walking out of the bathroom and shutting the door. He wants to call Tony so bad, to hear his voice again. But, there’s too much on the line. He doesn’t know if he can risk calling Tony, despite what Natasha says.
An hour later, Steve makes his way back into the living room, where he finds Natasha and Sam.
Natasha looks over when she hears footsteps, and quickly sits up when she sees Steve. “How’d it go?”
“I didn’t call him,” Steve says, tossing the phone to Natasha. “I’m not going to risk everyone’s safety because I’m selfish. I’ve also done a lot of thinking, just like you asked-” He looks over at Sam. “I think I’m going to go keep the baby, merely because the thought of killing an innocent life kills me.”
Sam sighs in relief, placing a hand on his chest. “Thank God,” he says. “But, Steve. This means you’re going to have to start taking better care of yourself. Alright? You have to eat. You can’t starve yourself. Like I said before, we’re all here. Me, Natasha, Bucky…”
“I know,” Steve says. “But, Bucky’s got enough shit going on right now. He doesn’t need more stress.”
Natasha nods. “Yeah, but you know that he’s here if you need someone,”
“I know he is. I’d just rather he focus on his recovery than with me,” Steve mumbles. He bites his lip slightly as he looks over at Sam and Natasha. “Is there room for one more on the couch?”
Natasha looks over at Sam and smiles, before looking back at Steve and nodding. “Of course there is,”
Steve sighs in relief, and then he quickly makes his way over to the couch and wedges himself in between Sam and Natasha, allowing Sam to throw his arms around him. It used to be Tony that he went for when it came to cuddles, but he’s been desperate for any form of comfort and cuddles, so even though it's not his husband, he’ll take what he can get.
****
Two months have passed by now. Steve’s three months pregnant, and the pregnancy is kicking his ass. He’s been trying to take care of himself more, for the sake of the baby. But, between getting sick and Steve’s depression getting worse, it’s getting to him, even with his friends trying to help him.
Natasha has finally had enough, knowing the solution to the problem. So, she went to Tony.
“Tony, he’s your husband. He should be your priority over these stupid accords,” Natasha argued.
“Oh yeah? My so-called husband tried to kill me and left me to die in fucking Siberia!” Tony shouted back.
“You have no idea how guilty he feels about that. He has nightmares-”
“Fucking good,” Tony scoffed in response. “It’s what he deserves after what he did to me.”
Natasha frowned at Tony. “It’s not my place to say, but I’m telling you this because I’m worried for Steve,” she began. “Steve’s pregnant, Tony. He wanted to tell you, but he’s been afraid.”
Tony stopped pouring his coffee, and looked over at Natasha with wide eyes. “What did you just say?”
“Steve’s pregnant,” Natasha repeated. “With your child. He’s not doing very well. He’s trying, but-”
“How far along is he?” Tony asked with shakiness.
“Three months. He was pregnant when we were fighting,” Natasha confirmed, knowing already that that’s what crossed Tony’s mind. “The baby’s fine. Perfectly healthy. But, I wouldn’t have come to you if I wasn’t worried about Steve. I’m asking for you to go see him and talk to him, Tony. I’ll- I’ll give you his location, but you have to promise me that you won’t turn him in. for the sake of the baby.”
Tony took a deep breath, slowly nodding. “I want to see him.”
Natasha sighed in relief. “He’s depressed, fair warning. This pregnancy has been really hard on him,”
That’s how Tony finds himself now at the secret location where the other Avengers have been hiding out. He’s standing in the doorway of the kitchen, watching as Steve pours himself some tea. Steve hasn’t noticed him yet. Tony’s taking in seeing his husband for the first time since Siberia. He never thought that he’d see Steve so soon after the events of Civil War, but he came for Steve, and their baby.
Tony finally lets out a sigh, knowing it’s now or never to talk to Steve. “Hey stranger,”
Steve jumps at the sudden yet familiar voice, knocking over his cup of tea. But he doesn’t care about that. He turns and looks over with wide eyes, stunned to see Tony standing in the kitchen doorway.
“Christ, Steve-” Tony hurries over to Steve, grabbing some paper towels and cleaning up the tea mess.
Steve immediately takes a step back, his eyes still wide. Tony’s here. Steve doesn’t know how he’s here, or why he’s here. It was only a matter of time before Tony found him and turned him in.
“T- Tony?” Steve finally speaks, his voice cracking.
Tony looks down and then he sees the bump that’s started showing on Steve. He takes a deep breath. Steve really is pregnant. “We have a lot to talk about,” he mumbles, finishing cleaning up the mess.
Steve curses. “Natasha told you, didn’t she? She had no right!”
“Well, maybe you should have been taking better care of yourself, Rogers, otherwise she probably wouldn’t have come to me, and I wouldn’t be here right now, facing the man who betrayed me,”
Steve’s taken back when Tony calls him Rogers. The public knows that Tony and Steve are together, but they never announced that they were married. Steve took Tony’s last name. Tony hasn’t called him Rogers since when they first met each other, when they used to hate each other. “We’re back to Rogers?”
Tony pauses, and then he tosses the dirty paper napkins into the trash, ignoring Steve’s comment.
“If you’re here to turn me in, then just get it over with,” Steve snaps.
“If I were here to take you in, Steve, there would be police surrounding this house right now,” Tony retorts. “I’m here because Natasha told me you weren’t doing so well, and-”
“I’m doing fine,” Steve argues, glaring at Tony. “If you’re here to offer your help, then I don’t need it, alright? I’ve been getting by just fine on my own for three months.”
Tony scoffs. “Really? Because you look like shit,” he argues. “Been sleeping well?”
“As if you have any right to talk when it comes to sleep,” Steve retorts. “Have you been drinking?”
“A little. But, we’re not here to talk about my drinking problems. We’re here to talk about that-” Tony points to Steve’s stomach, and looks up at him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
“I didn’t know I was pregnant when we were fighting,” Steve defends himself. “I found out after Siberia, and- and I was afraid that you would either turn me in, or you would try to take the baby away from me.”
“You really think that I would try to take that baby from you?” Tony asks, offended.
“After everything that’s happened? Yes,” Steve admits. “I mean, I would hope that you wouldn’t. I- I want this baby. It took me a long time to get to this point. I- I almost got an abortion. I-” He hesitates as his eyes begin to water up. “I’m not doing good. I’m trying. You have no fucking idea how hard I’m trying, Tony.”
“Steve,” Tony whispers, his heart instantly breaking for the man. They’ve both been through a lot the past few months, but nothing can compare to what Steve’s been going through. “I’m sorry.”
Steve sniffs, quickly wiping away a tear that slipped out of his eye. “I should be apologizing to you,”
“We both made mistakes. Let’s just leave it at that,” Tony says, his voice calmer.
“Sh- Should we go sit down and talk?” Steve suggests.
“Yeah, uh… lead the way,” Tony says. He gently places a hand on Steve’s back as Steve leads the way, noticing how Steve flinches a little at his touch. Tony knows that the two have a long way to go before they’re both comfortable with each other again. Tony hates that it got to this point, considering how in love they were just a few months ago. Tony’s willing to take as much time as they need.
“What can I do?” Tony asks once they’re sitting on the couch in the living room.
“I’m not sure what you mean?” Steve asks nervously, fiddling with his fingers.
“You’re obviously struggling with the pregnancy. Natasha wouldn’t have come to me if she thought you were in trouble. I… I want to do what I can to make things easier for you,” Tony says.
“Why? Why do you want to help me after everything I’ve done?” Steve asks, frowning.
“We’ve both done things that we’re not proud of,” Tony corrects him.
“I almost killed you Tony!” Steve chokes on a sob. “I- I left you for dead in fuck- fucking Siberia! I almost broke your arc reactor. The thing that keeps you alive. How- How could you just forgive me?”
“We’re not there yet,” Tony whispers. “But, you’re my husband, I still care about you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we last saw each other. I wanted to find you, but it was too much of a risk.”
“I’m never going to sign those accords, Tony. I- I still stand by what I said. I still want to protect Bucky,” Steve says, taking a deep breath when he sees the disappointed look on Tony’s face. “I’m sorry…”
Tony shakes his head. “I get it, Steve. I do. He’s your best friend. Someone important to you-”
“You don’t understand. He’s the only thing left from my past life. He was- is my best friend. I know that he’s done some truly terrible things as The Winter Soldier, but he’s getting much better. Slowly but surely. We’re helping him recover. I- I truly hope that one day you’ll be able to see what a great guy he really is. But, I understand if you can’t forgive him.” He nervously looks up at Tony.
“I’m not promising anything. Besides, that’s the last thing on my mind right now. I want to focus on you, and the baby. Do you think you’d be able to come back to the tower? I’d feel safer with you there,”
“Tony, I can’t. I’m sorry,” Steve frowns. “If people knew that we were in contact with each other again, that’s the first place they’ll look for me. I can’t go to prison. Not with a baby on the way. I want to. I just…” He looks over when he hears footsteps, and takes a deep breath when he sees Sam walk in. “Sam-”
Sam looks over and glares when he sees Tony. “What the hell is he doing here?”
“Relax, birdbrain. You’re safe. I’m strictly here to talk to Steve,” Tony replies.
“How’d you find us? Steve? Did you contact him?” Sam asks, frowning as he looks at Steve.
“No,” Steve shakes his head. “Natasha. She gave him our location. I guess she was worried about me. Tony’s not going to turn us in. He knows about the baby and everything, Sam. I- I really don’t think that he’d turn his pregnant husband into the police.”
“I don’t know, Steve. You might find it quite surprising what people you thought you could trust can do,” Sam snaps, crossing his arms against his chest.
“I think I should go,” Tony says as he stands up.
“Tony,” Steve also stands up, grabbing a hold of Tony’s arm. “Please don’t go. We still have to talk about-”
“And we will talk, Steve. I promise we will. But I’m clearly not wanted here,” Tony says, looking at Steve. “I’ll call you as soon as I can get the chance. Do try to take care of yourself until then, alright?” He gives Steve a small smile before turning and walking out of the room.
Steve’s eyes widen as he looks over at Sam. “Sam!” He throws his arms up.
“What?” Sam asks. “Excuse me for not trusting the man who betrayed us. If you weren’t pregnant, Steve, he would have turned you in, and you’d be in prison right now. You know that.”
Steve frowns, shaking his head, refusing to believe that his husband would purposely throw him in jail, even after everything that’s happened. “I- I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s true,” he whispers.
“What’s going on now?” Natasha asks, walking into the room. She glances over at Steve.
“Sam scared Tony off,” Steve replies angrily. “And now who knows if I’ll ever speak to him again.”
“Dammit Sam,” Natasha curses. “I called Tony for a reason!”
“You shouldn’t have given him our location!” Sam argues, glaring at Natasha. “We’ve been hiding here for a reason. In case you all have suddenly forgotten, we’re criminals wanted by the law. We’ll get thrown in prison the second they find out we’re here. I’m sorry Steve, I don’t trust Tony as far as I can throw him.”
“Sam, Steve’s pregnant with Tony’s child. Steve’s obviously not doing so well without Tony around,” Natasha says calmly. “That’s the reason why I called Tony in the first place. Honestly, I wouldn’t have put our lives in danger if I didn’t trust him still. Steve, I’ll make sure Tony calls you again.”
Steve stares at her. “I don’t understand. Why are you going through all of this trouble just for me?”
“Because you’re my friend,” Natasha answers simply before heading into the kitchen.
“Doesn’t sound like a good enough reason,” Steve mumbles.
“We really need to work on your self-esteem, Steve,” Sam comments, shaking his head.
“I need to go take a nap. This is too much fun for me to handle for one day,” Steve says, glancing at Sam before heading to his bedroom. All he can think about is Tony, and when he’ll hear from him again.
****
Just a few weeks later, The Avengers were alerted about Thanos, which instantly got them all moving. Steve wants to help, but knows he can’t do much when he’s four months pregnant.
Natasha and Sam drop Steve off at Avengers tower before they’re off to find Wanda and Vision.
“Friday?” Steve asks the second he steps foot in the building, trying not to let himself be too overwhelmed, because it’s been so long since he’s stepped foot into the building he used to call home.
“Captain Rogers. Wonderful to hear from you again,” Friday greets.
Steve smiles a little, grateful he’s being welcomed back by the AI. “You too, Fri. Where’s Tony?”
“Steve?”
Steve looks over and takes a deep breath when he sees Tony walking out of the elevator. “Tony,”
“What are you doing here?” Tony asks, immediately walking up to him.
Steve stares at him with wide eyes. “You never called,” he breathes. “I- that’s not why I’m here. Thanos- and… it’s a big mess. Natasha and Sam brought me here. They didn’t want to leave me alone.”
“You’ll be safe here. I’ll make sure of it, and so will Friday” Tony tells him. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you earlier. I was waiting for the right time. I wasn’t purposefully trying to ignore you. Have you been okay?”
“I mean, I’ve been worried about you,” Steve tells him, smiling a little when Tony rolls his eyes. “But, um, other than that, I guess I’m okay. Considering the situation we’re in right now.”
“You’re such a Goddamn idiot,” Tony grumbles, before grabbing Steve and pulling him into a kiss.
“You shouldn’t call your pregnant husband an idiot,” Steve mumbles against Tony’s lips.
“We have a lot to catch up on,” Tony whispers, resting his forehead against Steve’s.
Steve shakes his head. “Later,” he whispers before kissing Tony again, with more passion this time.
“Fuck, Steve-” Tony mumbles, pulling away from the kiss and taking a deep breath. “God, I wish you didn’t have such terrible timing. Bruce called me. I have to go meet him and some magical wizard…”
“Bruce?” Steve asks, frowning with confusion. “Does it have to do with Thanos? I want to go.”
“No,” Tony warns in a final tone. “Absolutely not. You’re staying here, and you’re going to be kept safe. The baby’s not even born yet and I’ve already done a shit job at being a father. That’s going to change.”
“I want to help,” Steve replies. “I’m not asking to fight. I-”
“I know that, Steve. I know you want to help, and I love you for that. You can help by staying here, and alerting me if you hear anything from anybody. Okay? Please. We’ll talk when I get back.”
Steve pouts, but nods anyways. “Fine,” he huffs in defeat, but he knows that Tony is right, because it’s not safe for him to be out there right now when he’s pregnant, even though Steve’s itching to go and help.
“Friday, you’re in charge. She’ll alert me if you try leaving this tower,” Tony says, before walking away.
“Mr. Rogers, it’s good to see you again,” Friday says, earning a laugh from Steve.
“Yeah, I have a funny feeling that you’ll be seeing a lot more of me,” Steve mumbles. He turns and sighs as he watches as Tony gets into his car. It’s not exactly the reunion he was hoping for with his husband, but it’s better than nothing. He’s waited this long, so he can wait a little longer.