As he laid in bed , he felt his ribs. Caressing each and every single one of them. He fit his small and dainty fingers between the gap of each rib.
And he cried
Because it wasn’t enough
Nothing ever was
Nothing satisfied the voice in his head. Nothing satisfied him at this point.
He’d walk around like a ghost , a shell of his once bright persona. Dead eyes , cold skin , cracked lips and blue finger tips.
All he wanted was to look good in the suit
Why did he turn out this way?
He lost all his friends , he knows it was him and not them . He pushed them away when he cared about his weight
May won’t look at him in the eyes anymore.
And maybe it’s for the best. Because all she will see is broken cries of
help me
help me
help me
and she knows she can’t save him.
May knows. She knows. Peter knows she does. Part of him wants her to help him. Part of him knows she won’t do that.
He knows he’s killing her
He knows he’s killing himself
Slowly.
He remembers promising himself that he would never be this way. Promising himself he wouldn’t ever be this close to death doors all by his doing. He promised to Ben in a silent prayer that he wouldn’t do this.
Yet here is he is
Dying
The teachers have tried to talk to him. Counselors don’t know what to do. But Peter knows it’s not that they want to save him, they want to save their star student.
Flash has been pulling away , instead of bullying, he looks at him with sad eyes.
Ned and MJ stopped talking to him , not wishing to see him kill himself that way
He tries to remember a time when he was happy , but it was so long ago that every memory is blurred out and the sounds faded years ago.
When Peter finally comes by the Tower , not having seen Tony or the team in months, Tony stares at him all shocked, tears gathering in his eyes.
Tony doesn’t do emotions , so all he does is look at Peter with a look of “I know what you’re doing , please eat , please stop” . But Peter won’t stop.
You see , Peter is really stubborn. And Tony knows, and Tony is scared.
He can’t save Peter
Only Peter can save himself
The team doesn’t say anything , they show their sadness by lingering looks , plates filled with more food , giving him snacks during the day and trying to involve him.
But it falls short
Peter throws away the snacks and doesn’t ever finish or start eating his food
He hears Tony and Bruce talking about hospitalizing him right outside his room, but it soon fades away
They don’t know he’s laying on the bathroom floor, lungs not willing to take a breath
They don’t know
Didn’t know
Until it was too late