How it feels to lose control
Her nostrils flare as she takes in the pungent scent of fresh paint. The acrid aroma still lingers in the air, permeating every corner of the studio.
A beautiful redhead is resting beside her, her head on her chest, the softness of her hair brushing against her skin, and Alex can feel the weight of her body as she shifts slightly.
"Every morning I wake up to this smell I wonder if it's slowly killing my lungs at night," the redhead remarks.
Alex had met Sylvia, a real estate agent, a few months ago when she had moved into the studio. They had flirted during her visits to the property and had been seeing each other sporadically ever since.
"I've seen you expose your lungs to much worse things than a little paint fume," Alex jokes, mimicking holding a cigarette between her fingers and chuckling.
The redhead sits up from their embrace, and looking down at Alex, whose head still rests on the pillow, she says, "I'm just saying, as much as I told you how fantastic this studio is and how much I love it, I also happen to have an apartment... and we could go there from time to time. Just to mix things up a bit, you know?"
Alex looks at her but doesn't respond. She knows that she is right. Her apartment is a mess right now; it's not fully furnished, it's filled with boxes, messy, half-painted, and yes, it's clean, but every time she makes the slightest progress with organizing things and moves the boxes around, or every time she paints a little more, she has to clean up all over again.
And it smells like paint. It reeks of paint. No matter how much she ventilates and masks it with air fresheners, the smell can only be concealed for so long. And every morning after a night with the windows closed, the apartment smells of paint again, and there's nothing she can do to prevent it as long as those paint cans are still there.
And going to Sylvia's place doesn't necessarily have to mean anything. Nothing beyond the fact that maybe it's just a more comfortable place to meet up, simply because it's not "half-done". It doesn't have to mean that there's anything more serious between them or that they're taking any kind of step. However, Alex feels it that way, at least a little bit.
Sleeping with Sylvia here, in this studio where they first met, in this studio that Sylvia has shown hundreds of times to hundreds of people, somehow feels more casual, less serious, and less intimate than meeting at the redhead's place, her home, which Alex has never seen.
Alex is comfortable with seeing each other like this. She doesn't want anything serious. She never has. Or rather, she's never actively pursued it. Who knows if she would want it if she found it. But what she does know is that right now, she doesn't want to feel tied down. Or distracted. And it has nothing to do with anything specific or with Sylvia in particular. In fact, she finds that she has an extraordinary chemistry with the redhead. They share a similar sense of humor, and just enough things in common so that, for now, the conversations they share are entertaining and even enriching in many cases. And they understand each other well in bed. Very well.
The truth is, Sylvia makes for a great casual sex partner, but the idea of her becoming something more than that, more than a pastime, as cruel as it may sound, is not something that interests Alex in the slightest. At least not at the moment.
But she is still right about what she says. She makes a good point. And Alex can't deny that.
In the blink of an eye, the tall, feline woman with hair as dark as coal slips out from between the sheets and stands up, grabbing the kimono haphazardly hung on the bedpost and draping it around her, covering the skin exposed by the spaghetti strap tank top she's wearing. "Next time we'll meet at your place," she says, striding towards the shower. "If you want coffee, you know where it is. If not, I'll see you around. Have a good day."
The redhead remains seated on the bed, fiddling with the edges of the sheets and watching Alex as she walks away, a slight smile playing on her lips. "Bye," she calls out softly.
Piper stands before the full-length mirror in her bedroom, examining every inch of her appearance. She takes great care in smoothing out her silk shirt, tucking it into her figure-hugging pencil skirt with precision. Next, she slides on her sheer black stockings that hug her legs like a second skin. She revels in the way they make her feel powerful and confident, like nothing can stop her.
With the utmost delicacy, she slides her feet into a pair of shiny black loafers with a slight heel that click against the wooden floors as she moves. She then approaches the mirror once more, nearly merging with her reflection, and ensures that her updo is free of any stray strands or flyaways.
She has always been meticulous about her appearance when it comes to work, but lately, it seems she is even more so, spending endless minutes perfecting her look every morning. She can't quite put her finger on why, but she doesn't really dwell on the reason why either, it just sort of feels as though her job demands it.
Once she is satisfied with her appearance, she retrieves her perfectly tailored blazer from the closet and slips it on. The sleek black jacket hugs her curves in all the right places, and she feels a sense of authority wash over her.
She takes one last look in the mirror and reaches for her favorite bottle of perfume, spraying several spritzes onto her wrists and neck. The scent is intoxicating and gives her an air of confidence and allure.
And then, with her briefcase in hand, she makes her way to the door, ready to take on the day.
Downstairs, as always, her car awaits her, gleaming in the morning sunlight.
She settles into the back seat, and takes a moment to appreciate the scent of the leather upholstery, luxurious and smooth under her fingertips, a far cry from the rough-and-tumble world of politics she inhabits, and then turns to Alex, who's sitting beside her, and flashes her a warm smile. "Good morning," she says brightly. "How're you feeling today?"
Alex cannot help but reciprocate Piper's smile. She strives to maintain her composure and is currently endeavoring to do so since she catches sight of the young politician exiting the building. However, there is an undeniable infectious quality to Piper's enthusiasm that often — if not most times — causes her to react involuntarily. "Good, thank you. How about you?"
Piper nods, her eyes bright with excitement. "I'm feeling great. I have a good feeling about today."
The agent chuckles softly, the sound low and rumbling in her chest. "You always have a good feeling about everything."
Piper pouts playfully, and Alex can't help but notice how adorable she looks when she does.
The interior of the car is cool and dimly lit, and the hum of the engine fills the silence between them.
Piper crosses her legs delicately and adjusts her skirt, and Alex's eyes are drawn to her slender calves.
The blonde's eyes dart up to meet Alex's briefly before quickly looking away.
Alex can feel the heat rising to her cheeks as she realizes just how stunning her boss looks today. She's dressed impeccably, and her hair and makeup are flawless.
Piper leans back into her seat, and the agent can see the faint outline of her body through her shirt. She tries not to look, but her eyes keep darting back to her figure. She can feel her heart rate picking up, and she silently scolds herself for being so taken with her boss's appearance. It's unprofessional, she tells herself. And she tries to steady her breathing. But she can smell the faint hint of Piper's floral perfume, and she wonders what it would be like to lean in and breathe her in deeply. "What the fuck, Vause?" she thinks to herself as she shakes her head, trying to clear the thought, and looks out the window.
Piper can feel the agent's eyes on her, and it makes her feel oddly self-conscious. She's used to being looked at, but this feels different somehow... She catches Alex's eye in the rearview mirror and gives her a small smile, feeling a flutter in her stomach as she does so.
"So, how was your weekend?" Alex asks, trying to break the tension between them.
Piper shrugs. "Just the usual. I caught up on some reading and did some shopping. Online. Nothing too exciting."
They chat amicably for the rest of the drive, their conversation ranging from work to personal interests. Alex is surprised at how easy it is to talk to Piper, how quickly they seem to be developing a rapport, despite this electric current running between them, crackling with unspoken tension. She finds herself laughing more than she has in weeks. It is easy to forget that she is her bodyguard when they are talking like this, like two old friends. And yet, there is a constant undercurrent of something more, something that she can't quite define.
As they arrive at the office building, she feels a pang of disappointment that their conversation is over. She doesn't want to leave the safety of the car, where they can talk and laugh without anyone else watching. She doesn't want their conversation to end, to be thrust back into the harsh reality of their professional roles. But she knows that they have to go in, that they have work to do.
She can tell that Piper feels the same way, though, judging by the way she lingers in the car. She wonders if she is imagining things, if she's reading too much into the situation. But then Piper turns to her, her smile dazzling in the morning sunlight, and Alex thinks — or rather knows — that there is something there. Whatever it is.
The morning at the office drags on slowly, and Alex barely has any opportunity to chat with Piper as she goes from meeting to meeting.
Lately, for the past week, she has not had any events outside of the building, and her days have consisted of meeting with her team over and over again, both as a group and with individual members separately, day after day, hour after hour; and giving a few press statements here and there, but always within the building. Alex finds this routine a bit repulsive, but she also sees the positive side of it.
On one hand, it bores her to death and deprives her of moments with Piper, of chatting with her on the way to places, and the like. In the office, Piper is always either engrossed in her laptop, seemingly unaware of the passage of time, or surrounded by people, including the insufferable Justin and the desperate pest Larry. And since they don't have to travel anywhere, Alex can't enjoy any moment alone with her.
On the other hand, fewer events outside mean fewer occasions for them to clash. They hardly have to argue over procedures and protocols, and she doesn't have to deal with Piper's tantrums and snarky comments when her patience wears thin.
This past week has meant less alone time with Piper, but it has allowed her to truly savor the moments she has had with her, especially in the car, without Piper holding any resentment towards her. These days, Piper is frustrated with Justin, with Larry, and with any other person who crosses her path, but not with Alex, and that's something Alex wouldn't mind getting used to.
The afternoon sun starts to fade, and Piper has been so busy all day, her mind consumed with meetings and negotiations, that her and Alex still haven't had a moment to grab lunch. But she isn't content with just another quick bite at her desk. No, she craves something different, something that breaks the monotony of their day-to-day. And so, glancing over at her bodyguard, she flashes a mischievous grin.
The tall, imposing woman's heart rate quickens at the sight of that smile, wondering what it might mean.
Piper picks up the phone and asks her assistant, Marisol, for a simple sandwich for herself and Alex, and then leads her bodyguard away from the office.
"Let's get out of here."
Her grin is mischievous, and Alex can feel her heart rate quicken with excitement as they step into the elevator.
They stand shoulder to shoulder at the back of the lift, surrounded by the comings and goings of people and, in a moment of happenstance, as they shuffle aside to let people out, Piper's hand brushes against Alex's, and both women feel their stomachs twist with butterflies. They know the feeling well, but they unconsciously ignore the sensation, too afraid to examine what it might mean.
As they ascend several floors, Alex asks where they're going, but Piper only gives her a coy smile and wrinkles her nose, as if to say, "just wait and see," teasing her with a sense of mystery. The agent can't help but smile back at the young politician's playful demeanor. She can't deny she loves this side of Piper, the side that is not afraid to shake things up and take a risk. She does not see it very often, in fact, this might be the only time she's seeing it in its full glory. In the past, she has caught glimpses of it, small hints here and there, but today she's seeing it in action, and it is more than evident to her that Piper is a natural at this.
When they step out of the elevator, they climb a flight of stairs until they reach a metal gray door. Piper pushes it open, and they emerge onto the rooftop.
As they step onto the rooftop, they're met with a breathtaking view of the bustling cityscape. The cool breeze hits them, carrying with it the sounds of car horns and the distant hum of traffic. The place is mostly empty, save for a few potted plants scattered about. The metal railings surrounding the perimeter of the roof glint in the sunlight, the gray paint chipping and fading in some places.
The air is brisk, and Piper remarks that they should have brought their jackets. Alex jokes that if she had known where they were going, she definitely would have brought hers.
Piper chuckles and playfully bumps her shoulder against hers. "Oh come on, where's your sense of adventure?" she teases. "I thought you were up for anything."
Alex grins back. "I am up for anything," she retorts, "but I also like to be prepared."
Piper rolls her eyes, still smiling. "You're such a boy scout," she teases, as they make their way to a spot with a clear view of the city skyline.
Alex laughs, feeling a warmth in her chest at the blonde's teasing. She can't help but feel a little giddy around her, even after all this time.
They approach the edge of the building where a railing slightly shorter than their height protects them from falling, and Piper takes the sandwiches out of the bag and hands one to Alex.
They settle in and start to eat, chatting about work. Or rather, Piper going on a tirade about work, and Alex just listening, amused by how animated the blonde gets when she is fired up. She complains about Justin, about Larry, about pretty much everyone in the office, and Alex can't help but agree with everything she says, secretly finding it all hilarious. She enjoys watching Piper let off steam, even if it's about something as mundane as work.
As they finish their sandwiches, the agent notices that Piper is staring at her with a small smile on her face. "What?" she asks, feeling self-conscious.
Piper shakes her head. "Nothing."
Alex arches an eyebrow, not convinced. "Come on, you can't just say 'nothing' and expect me to believe you."
Piper chuckles. "I was just thinking about how glad I am that we did this. It's nice to have a break from work and just... enjoy the view."
Alex nods in agreement. "Yeah, it is. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect when you asked me to follow you."
Piper grins. "I figured we needed a little adventure in our lives. Plus, I've been dying to check out this rooftop ever since I started working here."
Alex laughs. "So this was all just an excuse for you to be a rooftop explorer?"
Piper rolls her eyes playfully. "Hey, you have to make your own fun sometimes."
They fall into a comfortable silence, taking in the view and enjoying the cool breeze. After a few minutes, Piper breaks the silence. "You know, I was just thinking. We've been working together for a while now, but I don't really know that much about you outside of work."
Alex raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "You do know some things about me, though."
Piper lets out a small chuckle. "I know a few of your opinions about some movies and books, but I don't know anything about your life!"
Alex nods thoughtfully, pondering Piper's words. "What do you want to know?" she asks, a small smile playing on her lips.
Piper leans back against the railing, taking a deep breath of the crisp air. She lets her gaze wander over the city skyline, lost in thought. "Well, for starters," she says, turning her head to face Alex, "What did you want to be when you were a kid? Like, what was your dream job?"
Alex smiles faintly at the question, her piercing green eyes crinkling at the corners. "Believe it or not, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I loved animals, and I thought it would be the coolest thing ever to help them and make them better."
Piper grins, her teeth flashing in the sunlight. "That's awesome. What happened? Why aren't you a vet now?"
Once again, Piper's naivety is apparent as she automatically assumes, without realizing it, that everyone has had the same opportunities as her. Alex would have loved to attend college. By the time she finished high school, however, she no longer wished to pursue a career in veterinary medicine, but had she been given the chance, she might have done some pre-graduate work in literature or something of that sort. But she did not have that opportunity, circumstances had conspired against her. Her high school transcript was not the best because she had to work throughout high school and often skipped classes, getting into trouble as a result. She had little time to study, but with what little time she had, she performed wonders. She was always clever like that, able to learn quickly and easily. But, given her financial limitations, combined with her lackluster academic record and the need to work, no matter how intelligent she was, college was never a viable option for her.
Normally, she might take this opportunity to launch into a small sermon about social inequality and the barriers that keep people like her from achieving their dreams. But today, she is not in the mood for it. She is feeling far too relaxed and content to let an innocent question ruin the mood. So she just shrugs and, with a smile, she says, "Maybe someday I'll quit my job and open up a cat sanctuary or something."
Piper chuckles. "I'd miss you."
And at the comment and the sound of her boss's voice, the agent's heart skips a beat and her smile instantly softens, her sudden nervousness apparent. She feels a sense of frustration building inside her as she struggles to make sense of what is happening with Piper. Admittedly, the young politician is undeniably gorgeous, and Alex can't deny that she finds many aspects of her attractive — both physically and in terms of her personality. However, the agent has been surrounded by attractive and interesting women countless times before, and she has never been as thrown off balance as she has been since meeting Piper. She takes a moment to try and clear her head, attempting to steer the conversation towards safer ground where she feels more in control. "What about you? Did you always know you wanted to be a politician?"
Piper shakes her head, seemingly oblivious to the effect her subtle and probably unconscious flirtation is having on Alex, a small smile playing on her lips. "No, actually. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a singer. I used to write my own songs and perform them for my family. But then I realized I wasn't that good."
Alex looks surprised. "I bet you were great," she laughs.
Piper shakes her head again. "No, trust me. I wasn't."
Alex chuckles, "Well, we'll have to arrange a karaoke night sometime and see for ourselves," her words slipping out before she realizes how blatantly she's flirting. It feels so natural though, as if that's what they were supposed to be doing, that she doesn't even think twice about it. But almost immediately, she worries that she might have gone too far and crossed a line. However, her anxiety fades as she notices Piper grin at the idea.
"Oh god, trust me, you don't want that," the blonde says.
Alex chuckles again, amused by the blonde's self-deprecating humor. "Well, I guess we both had big dreams as kids," she says.
Piper nods, gazing out at the breathtaking view before them. The city sprawls out in every direction, skyscrapers and buildings reaching up to the heavens.. "It's funny how life turns out sometimes, right?" she muses.
Alex nods in agreement, taking in the view herself. "Yeah, but I guess that's what makes it interesting."
Piper's expression becomes thoughtful, and she furrows her brow as she speaks. "Yes, exactly! Like, life is full of surprises. Sometimes the things you never expected end up being the best things that ever happened to you."
And as she speaks, Alex's mind wanders to their own situation. She can't help but wonder if this moment on the rooftop with Piper could be one of those unexpected and wonderful things. Or maybe every day with Piper is. She nods along, lost in thought. "Yeah..."
There's a moment of silence between them before Piper turns to her with a curious expression. "Hey, can I ask you something personal?"
The agent raises an eyebrow, her fine black eyebrow peeking over the black-rimmed glasses, a little surprised by the sudden shift in conversation but willing to go along with it. "Sure, go ahead."
Piper takes a deep breath before continuing. "Do you ever feel like you're not really living the life you want to live? Like, you're just going through the motions and doing what's expected of you?"
Alex thinks for a moment, considering her response. She feels a twinge of sadness for Piper, knowing that she doesn't always receive the recognition she deserves in her career. "Sometimes," she finally admits.
"It's just sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, you know?" Piper continues, a hint of frustration in her tone. "I want to make a difference, I want to help people. But sometimes it feels like everything I do is just a drop in the bucket."
"You can't change the world all at once, Pipes."
Piper smiles slightly at the nickname, surprised to hear it from the agent's lips. "Pipes? Where did that come from?" she asks, genuinely curious.
Alex feels her cheeks flush with embarrassment, but she tries to play it off with a smile. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you that. It's just, I don't know, it kinda slipped out."
Piper reaches out and places a hand on her arm. "No, it's okay. I like it," she says with a small, reassuring smile. "It's kind of cute, actually. I mean, I'll still call you Agent Vause for the rest of time because I'm a consummate professional, but if you want to give me a nickname, I'm okay with that."
Alex chuckles. "I'm pretty sure you dropped the 'Agent Vause' after like two days."
Piper shakes her head, an incredulous smile on her face. "That's not true," she protests. "I was actually quite intimidated by you for a while and didn't dare call you anything else. And you never suggested I call you by your first name. I let you call me Piper from the start!"
Alex smirks playfully. "Well, maybe I like it when you call me Agent Vause. Have you ever considered that?"
Piper rolls her eyes playfully. "Alright then, Agent Vause. Should I always address you as such?"
Alex shrugs, feigning indifference. "It just sounds so intriguing when you say it like that."
They both chuckle before settling back into a comfortable silence, the only sound being the occasional honk of a car or the distant hum of a helicopter. They simply enjoy each other's company and the peacefulness of being high above the chaos of the city.
After enjoying each other's company for a good while, they both know it's time to return to the office. However, just like in the car this morning, and many other mornings before, Alex has the feeling that Piper wants to stretch the moment as much as possible to avoid returning to the small concrete box that is her office. Nevertheless, the young politician's sense of responsibility eventually weighs more, and she points out that it's time to go back inside.
The rest of the day passes without any major events or anything special to highlight. It's less busy and hectic than the morning, but almost equally boring for Alex, because when Piper isn't nose-deep in a pile of reports, she's on the phone, leaving the agent with nothing to do but to reminisce about the moments she has shared with her on the rooftop this afternoon.
Between calls and paperwork, Alex tells her that she's going to print a couple of things that she needs to review and that she'll be back soon. Piper nods without responding or lifting her head from the computer.
Alex goes to the photocopy room and returns to the office in no time but, when she gets there, there is no sign of Piper. She knocks on the bathroom door, but no one answers. Puzzled, she looks out into the hallway to see if she can spot her, but nothing.
She knows that Piper doesn't have any meetings now, but she still goes to check her schedule just to be sure. She doesn't want to rummage through her boss's papers, but when she tries to take out her daily planner from where she knows it is under a couple of folders, she accidentally pulls out a folded sheet of paper.
She intends to leave it where it was, to store it without reading it, but then she can't help but glimpse the words "...Piper. We're coming for you" written on it. A lump forms in the agent's throat as she picks up the paper from the desk, carefully unfolding it to read its contents.
"Piper Chapman,
I've been keeping an eye on you. I don't like what we see. You think you can become the governor of New York? You're not fit for the job. You don't have what it takes.
I suggest you withdraw from the race before it's too late. We have ways of making you pay if you don't. We'll make sure you regret the day you decided to run.
You don't want to mess with us. We're not afraid to get our hands dirty. We'll do whatever it takes to stop you. You're just another pawn.
Beware, Piper. We're coming for you."
Her heart races as she reads the words on the paper, her mind reeling with disbelief and anger. How could Piper keep something like this from her? She feels betrayed. She can't believe that Piper would hide something so important from her. She quickly puts the letter in her pocket, feeling like she's invading her boss's privacy, but knowing that she needs to confront her about it.
She storms down the dimly lit hallway of the bustling office. Her shoes clack against the polished tile floor as she makes her way towards Marisol's desk, her mind racing with worry.
As she approaches the desk, she tries to compose herself, hoping that her anxiety doesn't show on her face. "Excuse me," she says, tapping Marisol on the shoulder. "Have you seen Piper? Um — Ms. Chapman."
Marisol looks up from her computer, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. "No, sorry. I haven't seen her in a while," she says, her voice soft and tired.
Alex's frustration grows with each passing moment. "Do you know where she might be?" she asks, her tone urgent.
Marisol shrugs, her eyes scanning the computer screen in front of her. "I'm not sure, but she did say something about having to meet with Mr. Bloom in his office, I think."
Relief washes over Alex, and she thanks Marisol before hurrying towards Larry's office, her heart pounding in her chest. She can't help but wonder what Piper is doing meeting with her boss at this hour, and why she hadn't mentioned it to anyone.
When she reaches the office, the door is open, and she sees Piper sitting across from Larry, and she can feel the anger bubbling inside her as she walks towards them.
"Excuse me, can I talk to Ms. Chapman alone for a moment?" the agent demands, barely concealing her frustration.
Larry looks up, surprised by Alex's tone. "Uh, sure. Piper, is everything okay?"
Piper nods, looking just as surprised as Larry. "Yeah, everything's fine. I'll be back in a minute," she gives him a reassuring smile.
Alex leads Piper out into the corridor, slamming the door behind them.
"What the hell, Piper?" She seethes, her anger simmering just below the surface. "Why didn't you tell me about the threat letter?" she demands, her voice low and furious.
Piper's eyes widen in surprise, and then narrow in anger. "What are you talking about?" she snaps. "What threat letter?"
Alex pulls the folded paper from her pocket and thrusts it towards her. "This one. The one that says 'we're coming for you.' Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about."
Piper's face pales as she reads the words on the paper, her eyes widening. "I... I didn't want to worry you," she stammers. "I didn't think it was a big deal."
"Not a big deal?" Alex explodes. "Someone is threatening you, and you didn't think it was a big deal? How could you keep something like this from me?"
Piper's face hardens as she looks at the agent. "Watch your tone, Alex," she says sharply. "Don't talk to me like this in the office."
Alex can't believe what she's hearing. Piper is more concerned with her professional image than with her own safety. "I can't believe you," she says, disappointment evident in her voice. "I thought I could trust you. This kind of stuff is exactly what I'm here for. Fuck, I really thought you would tell me something like this. But you didn't, and now I don't know what to think."
Piper's face softens for a moment, and then hardens again. "Look, I'm sorry," she says, her voice low. "I should have told you. But you have to understand that this campaign is everything to me. I can't afford any negative publicity, and I didn't want to alarm anyone unnecessarily."
The agent shakes her head in disbelief, and she says, her voice heavy with disappointment. "I thought you were better than this, Piper."
And just as she finishes her sentence, Larry's voice booms from behind them. "What's going on here?" he asks, his tone concerned.
Both Piper and Alex turn to face him, startled. Piper quickly recovers and forces a smile. "Oh, Larry, it's nothing," she says, moving towards him. "We were just having a little disagreement, that's all."
Larry looks between the two of them, clearly unconvinced. "It didn't sound like just a disagreement," he says, his tone firm. "Is everything okay?"
Piper glances nervously at Alex, who remains silent, her arms crossed over her chest.
"Everything's fine," the blonde says, her voice unsteady. "It's nothing to worry about."
Larry nods, still looking concerned. "Okay, well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me," he says, before turning to Alex. "And you, Vause, I trust you're taking good care of our candidate, huh?"
Alex nods curtly. "Of course," she says, her tone cool.
But Piper interrupts before Larry can say anything else. "Larry, I'm really sorry for the interruption," she says, her voice apologetic. "It's been a long day, and I think I'm going to head home now after I take care of this. But we'll continue our conversation tomorrow, I promise."
Larry nods understandingly. "No worries," he says. "Take care of yourself. And let's catch up tomorrow."
Piper nods, then turns to Alex, a serious expression on her face. "Come with me," she says, her tone commanding.
Alex rolls her eyes inwardly, but follows Piper to her office and then out of the building.
Once in the car, Piper's hand shakes as she reaches for the separator that separates the front of the vehicle from the back. She pulls it back with a force that startles the driver, and then turns to face Alex. "Do not talk to me like that ever again," she says, her voice low and menacing. "I can't have people thinking we're too friendly. It's bad for my image."
Alex rolls her eyes. "I forget your image is all you care about."
Piper's jaw tightens, and she grips the armrests of her seat. "Just... just drop it, okay?" she warns, her words punctuated by the clenching of her teeth. "I know you're upset, but I'm not in the mood for your attitude right now."
Alex's eyes narrow as she glares at her boss. "You're the one who kept a threat letter from me!" she spits out. "Who the fuck hides that kind of information from their security detail?"
"I already apologized for that," Piper says, her voice strained. "I messed up, okay? But you can't just talk to me like that in front of other people. And especially not in front of Larry."
Alex shakes her head, disbelief written all over her face. "I can't believe your image is more important to you than your safety," she says, her voice rising. "That's just great, Piper. Really."
Piper's eyes flash with anger as she turns to face her. "You know what? Maybe trying to become close with you was a mistake. You're taking way too many liberties."
The agent stares at her, taken aback. "Is that what you really think?"
Piper nods, her eyes blazing. "Yeah. Maybe it's clouding your judgement."
The accusation stings, because deep down she knows it's true, and she can feel a surge of anger rising in her chest. "My judgement is just fine," Alex snaps.
Piper scoffs in disbelief. "Clearly not, if you're going around talking to me like that."
Alex leans back in her seat, fed up with her boss's self-centered attitude. She knows Piper has a point, but she is just Fed. Up. "You're impossible to work with," she mutters under her breath.
"What was that?" Piper asks sharply.
"You heard me," Alex retorts, her voice rising in frustration. "You're impossible to work with. You don't trust anyone, you don't take me seriously, and you only care about yourself. It's always been like this and I've been a fool to think that you were going to change."
Piper's face turns red with anger. "How dare you talk to me like that!" she yells, her voice echoing in the car. "I'm your fucking boss, Alex. You're supposed to be my security detail, not my personal critic."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Alex retorts sarcastically. "I guess I should just sit here and let you put your own life in danger while I do nothing, all for the sake of your precious image."
"You're blowing this whole thing out of proportion!" Piper protests. "It was just a stupid letter."
"A stupid letter that threatened your life!" Alex shouts. "How can you be so cavalier about something like that?"
"Will you lower your voice? I'm not being cavalier," Piper snaps. "I made a mistake, and I've apologized for it. But apparently that's not enough for you," she continues, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Alex shakes her head in disbelief. "You don't get it, do you? This isn't about the letter anymore. It's about the fact that you don't take me and my job seriously."
Piper rolls her eyes. "Oh, please. You're just saying that because you're angry with me."
"I'm saying it because it's true!" the agent yells, her anger boiling over. "And if you can't see that, then maybe — maybe we shouldn't be working together."
Piper's eyes widen in surprise, clearly taken aback by Alex's words. She had felt as though this was like one of those heated arguments with someone you care about deeply, the kind of argument that makes you want to tear each other apart, yet still, deep down, you know that you'll always be there for each other. That the bond between you is stronger than any disagreement or rough patch you may face. That your connection can survive anything. It is a feeling that defies logic, though — after all, Alex isn't her best friend or even a close confidant — but it is there nonetheless, the deep feeling of connection with the agent, as if they had been through a lifetime of ups and downs together, despite the fact that they have only known each other for a few short months. So, yes, Piper was frustrated with Alex, and angry, and irritated that the agent seems to forget her place as the boss whenever she is upset. She is tired of her insubordination. But even though she could have screamed at her for hours about it, each word hitting like a hammer blow, she still had had the feeling — the hope — or the mistaken certainty, that Alex would stay by her side. "What are you talking about?"
"I mean it," Alex says firmly. "I can't work for someone who doesn't respect me."
Piper's jaw drops. "You can't be serious."
"I am," Alex says, her voice cold and determined.
Piper's face twists in anger and hurt. "Fine. If that's what you want, then go ahead and quit. See if I care."
Alex doesn't miss the unmistakable pain etched in Piper's eyes, nor the tremble in her voice. But she knows she can't afford to back down now. Not if she wants Piper to take her seriously, not if she wants to earn her respect. "Maybe I will," she replies, her own voice shaking slightly. "Maybe it's for the best."
The blonde's hands tighten on the armrests of her seat as she glares at Alex, and she flinches at her words, feeling a pang of hurt in her chest. "Is that how you really feel?"
Alex scoffs. "What does it matter?"
Piper takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "I just... I thought we had something more than just a working relationship," she admits, her eyes filling with tears. "I thought you... I guess I just thought — I thought you felt that way too."
Alex's expression softens slightly, but she quickly masks it with a scowl. "I'm just your bodyguard, and you're my client, right? That's all we ever were."
The politician's heart sinks at the words, and she turns away from Alex, staring out the window as they drive in silence.
The tension in the car is palpable, and she can feel the hurt and anger radiating off of both of them.
As they pull up to her building, Alex breaks the silence, her eyes still fixed on the scenery outside. "I'll gather my things and be out by tomorrow," she says, her voice flat.
Piper doesn't respond and steps out of the car, but before she closes the door, she turns to face Alex. "You know, for someone who's supposed to protect me, you sure know how to hurt me."
And Alex winces at the pain in her voice, but before she can respond, Piper slams the door shut and walks away.
A few seconds go by before she gets out of the car and stands alone on the sidewalk, staring after Piper as she disappears into her building. She feels a tight knot of emotion in her chest, a mix of anger, frustration, and a twinge of something else. Something she doesn't want to admit, not even to herself.
She can't help but think about Piper's words, about how she thought they had something more than just a working relationship. Alex had never allowed herself to entertain such thoughts — even though she had already crossed several boundaries in her professional relationship with Piper —, knowing full well the complications and potential consequences of getting involved with a client. And yet, despite the risk, her special feelings for the politician still linger at the back of her mind, like a shadow that refuses to be ignored. She likes Piper, more than she should. It's foolish, really, to be attracted to her boss, especially when they're in a line of work that doesn't exactly encourage personal relationships. But there's something about the young politician that draws her in, something that makes her heart skip a beat when she's around her. Maybe it's the way she talks, or the way she carries herself, or the way she challenges her preconceptions about what she's capable of. Whatever it is, it's dangerous. And she knows well she's not supposed to have these feelings, not as a professional bodyguard.
But the argument with Piper had been a catalyst, stirring up emotions that she had been trying to suppress for months. And now, as she stands alone on the sidewalk, she feels lost and conflicted.
Part of her wants to go after Piper, to apologize and try to make things right. But another part of her, tired of the blonde's constant lack of respect, burns with anger and resentment. She hates the idea of appearing weak and vulnerable to someone like Piper, who should be the one apologizing, not her.
No, she won't chase after her like a lost puppy. She will stand her ground and demand the respect she knows she deserves.
She pulls out her phone and scrolls through her contacts, searching for the name she wants. Sylvia. She sends a quick text message, asking for her address. It's not like her to be so forward, but tonight she's feeling reckless, and she knows Sylvia won't mind. They'll drink wine and talk and maybe, and hopefully, more, and that is exactly what she needs. She knows it's not a permanent solution, but for tonight, all she wants to forget about Piper and their argument, to lose herself in the comfort and familiarity of someone who doesn't complicate things.
As she waits for a response, she tries to push her boss out of her mind. It's not easy, but she manages to focus on other things. The sound of the city around her, the smell of exhaust and street food. Anything to keep from dwelling on the ache in her chest, the longing she feels for something that she knows is wrong, that she knows she can't have.
After a not-too-long taxi ride with a somewhat reckless driver, Alex enters Sylvia's building and rings her doorbell. It's an old building, but well-maintained, and it's clear that the residents take pride in caring for it.
She waits nervously, but there's no answer at the door. Impatient, she rings the bell again, and waits a few more seconds until she hears hurried footsteps approaching the door.
Then the door opens, revealing a dimly lit living room and Sylvia, who apparently just got out of the shower and is still tying her robe and dripping water all over the hardwood floor.
"Sorry, caught me in the shower," the redhead says immediately, and after examining Alex's appearance, a smile appears on her wet face, and she adds, "And what's with the getup, Agent Vause?" in a teasing tone.
Alex doesn't mean to be rude, truly she doesn't, and she knows that Sylvia doesn't deserve a bad response or a bad tone. And she's also aware that she hasn't even greeted her yet. But those words. "Agent Vause." Those words spoken in that sarcastic and flirtatious tone trigger an involuntary and unpleasant response in her. "Don't call me that."
Sylvia's smile quickly disappears from her face at the extremely serious tone of the woman standing in front of her. "What, why?" she asks, confused.
"Just don't, okay?" says Alex, her tone slightly more gentle than before, but only slightly.
Sylvia furrows her brow, not understanding where she might have messed up. "Jesus, okay, sorry," she says, looking down at the floor with an expression of confusion and disbelief, and then she looks back at the woman with coal-black hair in front of her. "Do you want to come in?"
Alex nods, feeling guilty for snapping at her, but still too wound up to apologize just yet. She steps inside the living room, her eyes taking in the cozy decor and the faint scent of lavender from a nearby candle. Sylvia's apartment is cozy and comfortable, with a few plants scattered around the room and an old record player sitting on a shelf.
But Alex's mind isn't really on the decor or the atmosphere. All she can think about is Piper and their fight, her anger and frustration are still simmering beneath the surface.
Sylvia notices the tension in her body and steps closer to her, running her hands over the agent's arms in an attempt to soothe her. "Are you okay?" she asks, looking up into Alex's deep emerald eyes with concern. "Tough day?"
But before Alex can respond, her thoughts turn to Piper once again. "Tough day? You bet." She can feel her body responding to the anger and frustration that's been building up inside her all this time, and she releases it by grabbing Sylvia by the waist and pulling her closer, kissing her fiercely and almost aggressively, her lips rough and insistent.
Sylvia's lips are cold, just like the rest of her skin as Alex grabs her face with her hands. Her bathrobe is damp, but Alex doesn't hesitate to press the redhead's body against hers, soaking up the moisture as a consequence. Her own suit gets wet from the contact, her shirt wrinkling, but she doesn't stop to analyze any of it. Anger won't allow her to think clearly.
The redhead is taken aback by the sudden intensity of the kiss, but she doesn't resist. Instead, she wraps her arms around Alex's neck and kisses her back just as passionately, the agent's grip on her firm.
Alex can feel her surprise, but she doesn't stop kissing her, pressing harder against her mouth. However, as they continue to kiss, she realizes that in her mind, the woman in front of her is not Sylvia, but rather a tall, delicate blonde politician whom she wants to make pay for the pain she feels in her chest right now. Despite this mental shift, she continues to kiss her, but can't stop thinking about how the blonde's lips would feel against hers, how her body would respond to her touch, and this thought only fuels her aggression. With each touch, her anger and frustration grow making her wonder what it would be like to overpower the other woman, to show her who's really in charge. She pulls Sylvia closer, her hands roaming over her wet body as she kisses her even more forcefully, and she ends up biting down on her lower lip, eliciting a loud moan.
As she continues to kiss her senseless, the rage dissipates a little, and she tastes a metallic flavor in her mouth. It takes a few seconds for Alex to realize that it is blood, and that she must have cut through Sylvia's lip with her teeth. For a brief moment, she feels guilty for using the redhead as an outlet for her frustration, but the thought of her boss quickly pushes that guilt aside.
All she can think about is how much she wants Piper — how much she wants her and how much she wants to make her pay, to make her understand — and she pulls away from Sylvia, breathing heavily, feeling the redhead's breath on her face. She looks down, unable to meet her gaze, for it's then, in that very moment, that she realizes that her feelings for the politician run deeper than she ever thought possible, and the realization leaves her feeling both angry and confused.
"I have to go," she says, her voice low and angry.
Sylvia looks at her, confused and hurt. "What? Why?"
"I just... I can't be here right now," she says, "I need to be alone."
And with that, she storms out of Sylvia's apartment, the sound of the door slamming echoing in her wake.