The Art of Saying No
Chapter 24: The Art of Saying No
Everybody relaxed and sat down on the couches. Loki tapped Stella’s shoulder and she looked up to him, a serious look on his face. He then excused them from the group. Stella stood and he grabbed her wrist, much to her surprise, and went out to the dark balcony. Darcy was watching them until they exited the balcony, her suspicions rising.
He let go of Stella when the door clicked close. “What’s up?” She crossed her arms on her chest.
“JARVIS, dim the windows,” Loki said and the windows darkened. “I didn’t know that was your plan,” he then told her.
“I was about to tell you that but I didn’t know this is what Steve and Natasha had planned.” Loki leaned his backside to the railings as she explained. “Remember, we didn’t talk about the main plan with them until tonight.” He crossed his arms on his chest as well. “We’ll just hand him over to Athena then we leave.” She faced him. “Can you help me with it?”
He dropped his arms and extended them to her. “Of course, I will.” Stella looked at it and held it. He pulled her closer to him. “What do you need me to do?”
“I was planning to sedate him and we could work on translocating him to the Parthenon. Can that work?”
“I’ll need to do a few spells for that, but it is feasible.” Their fingers laced with each other. “Are you ready to face Ares in the Mojave?”
The corners of her mouth twitched upward. “I’m ready for anything. Especially I’m right here next to you.” She squeezed his hand.
Loki’s lips curled up in a soft smile. He pulled her close and planted a kiss on her forehead. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Stella laid a hand on his chest. “So do I.”
Loki peeked over her and watched what was happening inside through the tinted glass. “Why don’t we excuse ourselves early and…” He trailed off. She looked up to him and his soft smile curled into a suggestive grin.
She smirked and moved back a little. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want to tire you before you cast the spells.”
He got off the rail and moved closer to her. “You must be forgetting that I am not human like you.” His hands rested on her hips.
“I didn’t expect you to be this kinky.” Her hands glided on his chest. His nipples perked upon her touch.
“You still have a lot to learn about me, Stella. As much as I need to learn a lot about you.” His voice was deep and strong.
She chuckled. “One thing you need you to know about me, Mr. Laufeyson -” she pinched his perked nipple, making him say ‘ow’ - “is that I’m serious about this.” Then something in her mind ticked, constricting her throat. She took a deep, shaky breath and dropped her hands to the side. She took a step back. “I’m sorry. I can’t do it tonight.” She smiled apologetically, avoiding his gaze.
Loki’s forehead scrunched in worry. “Oh love.” He held her hand again. “Why are you acting like you’re not allowed to say no?” She blinked a few times, her jaw clenched, but she looked away from him and loosened her facial muscles. “Darling, you can tell me anything. You can say no when you need to, okay?”
Stella tried to keep her cool but her micro-expressions gave it all away. She didn’t want to open that buried box right now but what she just told him triggered it. Now that box in her head started to vibrate. She swallowed that invisible lump on her throat. Good thing the balcony was dark, he couldn’t notice the tears starting to bead on her eyes.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t that dark for her liking. The faint glow from the moon illuminated her a bit and Loki noticed her glazed eyes. “My love, is there something wrong?” He gently ran his hands on her upper arms when she folded them on her chest.
She flashed a toothless smile. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” she said in a controlled voice.
“Are you sure? Because your face says something’s bothering you.” He caressed her cheek with his finger.
Their eyes locked. Loki could see how Stella was holding back her tears and it was heartbreaking for him to watch his beloved hold on to whatever those things she’s hiding from him. From the way her jaw clenched, he knew there’s something she wants to let go of, to tell him, but she was afraid. Or angry.
She caught his hand that was on her cheek and placed a kiss on it. “Don’t worry about it.” Her lower lip trembled as she spoke. She closed her eyes, trying to push away the flashing images of that past. A tear rolled down her cheeks then she wrapped her arms around his waist, her cheek resting on his chest. She took in his scent, her fingers holding on to the fabric of his shirt. She focused on listening to Loki’s breathing.
Loki held her and he could feel her anxiety building up. “Stella, darling. Just tell me what’s bothering you.”
Blue mist enveloped them and in a blink, they were in Stella’s lit room. She pulled back from him. “Jarvis, turn down the lights. Leave the night light and open the curtains.” She picked up her phone from the coffee table and sent a message to Thor and Natasha, telling them they translocated back to their floor because she wasn’t feeling well.
“Stella…?” Loki stayed on the spot he arrived in.
She faced him and placed a hand on her hip. “I’m sorry.” She wiped her eyes.
Loki approached and embraced her. “You don’t have to apologize for whatever you feel, love.”
Stella hugged him back, reminding herself that she’s in the now, that she’s with Loki, that Loki loves her and here he is, holding her. “I’m sorry. I was just…” She sniffled. “I was just reminded of something that happened before.”
Loki raked his fingers through her hair. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She shook her head. “It’s bad.”
He tucked a stray strand. “How would I know what triggers the thoughts?”
She took a deep breath. “Yeah. You have a point.”
“Is it worse than me being a Frost giant?” He joked. Stella chuckled sadly. “Now, come dear.” He led her to the couch. “I’ll listen.”
Stella checked her hand when she sat and saw that she was shaking. “I hate it when this happens.”
He held her hand. “It’s okay. I’m here for you.”
Stella smiled and let out a shaky breath. She cupped his cheek, caressing her thumb on his skin. Still reminding herself that she is in the present. Then she dropped her hand. “It happened when I was in college. I was emotionally manipulated into a relationship with someone I didn’t even like in the first place.”
Stella was sitting at the foot of the bed, watching a young man fix his hair in front of a vanity mirror. She hugged her knees closer to her chest as she watched him.
The young man noticed her watching and flashed a toothy smile. “What are you looking at, babe?”
Stella got off the bed and fixed her bag. “Nothing.”
The young man stood up and approached her, placing his hands on her waist. Stella froze. “You looked worked up, baby. What’s stressing you?”
“Nothing.” She continued fixing her bag.
He dropped his hands. “You keep on saying nothing. You’re driving my anxiety.” She didn’t reply. She moved to the bed to fold the blanket. He placed a hand on the small of her back. “Come on, babe. What’s up?”
Her brown eyes bore on him. “Let me fix my stuff, okay? I have class in 3 hours.” She looked around the room. “Jeez, you couldn’t even fix your stuff,” she said, heavily annoyed.
He waved his hand in dismissal. “I’ll fix it later.”
“You keep on saying that,” she hissed. “When will you ever do it?”
He was taken aback. “Wow. And now you’re mad at me?”
She splayed her hands, presenting the whole, messy room to him. “Who wouldn’t?! I didn’t even ask you to move in but you started packing your stuff and leaving them here!”
“I am doing that because I love you!” He barked back.
She narrowed her eyes. “Oh, you do? Invading my private space and all that?” She scoffed.
He straightened up, almost towering over Stella. “You welcomed me into your life, right? So, why can’t I move in?” She opened her mouth but he interrupted her. “You’re in a relationship with me. Everything you have is ours now! You are mine!”
She took a step forward. “That’s not what this means! My place is not yours! Nor my money! Not even my free time!”
“Aren’t you mine? Huh?”
“I’m fucking tired of this shit, Nick!” Stella yelled.
He held her and shook her. “I’ll die if you’ll break up with me!”
“Fuck! Let go of me!” She managed to push him back and he hit the wall. Blue mist floated around her arms and she shook them, making the mist disappear before he recovered.
He pushed himself from the wall and stared menacingly at her. He raised a finger to her. “I’m not yet done with you.” He banged the door shut when he left.
Stella had kept on trying to break up with him but he always made his way through. He always knew what to say so she would stand down. A hundred times she even plotted to dissipate him to non-existence but she wouldn’t risk it. They would argue, she would try to break up, let him see that it’s his fault manipulating her, but he goes back into sweet-talking her to make her stop until he could get his hands all over her, despite her saying no.
There were multiple instances when she would be sleeping beside him and his hands would creep beneath her shirt. She would push him away from her but he would pin her down the bed and make his way through her. Good thing she had the coil transplanted in her because if she hadn’t, she would be stuck with that guy with a baby.
Stella bit her thumb. Her eyes were stinging but she prevented herself from crying once more. Loki’s jaw was set, his eyes dark and menacing. “That was the year I tried to forget my responsibility as a guardian. It was overwhelming. I repressed my energy that year. I wanted to abandon everything, to live a normal life. Maybe that was the reason why I let it happen.”
Loki perched his elbow on the backrest of the couch, planted his forehead on his hand, and sighed heavily. He then brought his hand to cover his mouth.
“After that, I could never trust anyone again. I’m afraid of new people. I keep on thinking they might use me again. That’s why I try to stay out of relationships as much as I can.” She dropped her head. “I’m sorry. I know it’s too much.”
He moved closer to her to rest his hand on her knee. “Stella, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault it happened. Though I am furious someone did that to you.” He cradled her face between his hands. “I just don’t want you to hold on to those kinds of memories.” She gave him a shaky smile but it disappeared beneath her scowl after a second. He let go of her when she started shaking in anger. “Stella, you’re safe now.” He held her hand that was starting to glow blue.
She closed her eyes. “I just can’t believe I made it happen,” she said through gritted teeth. She looked at her glowing hands then clasped them together. Stella, come on, no need to do this. She rubbed her shaking hands together. She was feeling light-headed now and her chest tight.
Loki folded his leg under him, elevating himself, and pulled her to his chest. “Stella, my beloved. It’s over now.” He slightly bent over her, his energy on standby in case Stella couldn’t control hers and it’ll blaze up. “I’m here for you.”
Hot tears flowed from her eyes. “Loki,” she gasped, her hands scrambling for his.
“I’m here, I’m here.” He held her, though not too tight so she could breathe.
This time her whole arm glowed blue. “Fuck! Loki stay away from me!”
Loki’s eyes widened. “I can’t let you go. Whatever happens, I’ll be here.”
She frantically shook her head. “No, no, no. You can’t. You have to stay away from me. Fuck! I need to get out of this place.”
Loki had an idea. He held her tighter and he thought of the only place he could be alone. “Hold on, Stell.” He summoned his energy and his shimmering green mist covered both of them. Stella continued muttering expletives underneath him until they hit a solid ground. Stella pushed herself away from him, much to his surprise. Loki waved his hand to illuminate the place. She looked around and it was a cave. She scrambled up to her feet and found a secluded area far from Loki.
“Stella!” Loki called out for her and he only saw her back disappearing to the next right corner. He sealed the cave’s opening with his magic and ran after her.
Stella scrunched the collar of her shirt and gasped. Her emotions were running high and she couldn’t keep her head straight. She cursed to herself, taking another step until the tip of her shoe hit a rock and she fell on her face. Her forehead hit an elevated rock and she passed out.
Loki summoned his force shield when a blue spark exploded from the corner of the cave. He immediately ran to Stella when it disappeared and choked on his breath when he saw her unconscious on the ground. “Stella, darling.” He slowly turned her up. He brushed off her curls that covered her face and saw blood dripping from her forehead. “Oh no. No, no, no.” He hovered his hand on her mouth. “Thank the gods,” he muttered when he felt her breathing.
He carried her to the cave’s larger space. He conjured a mat and a pillow on the ground and laid her there. He placed his hand over her heart and assessed her. Everything was stable, except that her heart rate is still high from her anxiety and she has a concussion. He then moved his hand on her wound, closed his eyes, muttered a spell, and his hand glowed green, healing her wound and concussion.
Stella slowly came around. Her eyes wandered when she woke up and she tuned herself with her surroundings. The cave glowed yellow-green from Loki’s magic. She could hear flowing water from a distance, probably a waterfall. “Loki, where are we?”
“We’re in my cave.”
Stella sat and felt the ground under the mat. “Your cave?” She glanced over her shoulder. “Are we on Asgard?”
“How would you know?” Loki sat cross-legged beside her.
“Where else would you have your cave?” She looked at him. “I’m sorry. I almost hurt you.” She bent forward and her forehead landed on his shoulder. Loki’s hand instinctively rested on her back.
“You’re safe now. We’re safe now. That’s why I brought us here. This is the safest place I know.”
She pulled back from him. “Heimdall.”
He patted her back. “He can’t see us from here.”
“He’ll wonder why I would disappear from his sight.”
“He wouldn’t when I’m also gone.”
She returned to her bent position. “How does that work?”
“This is an area where the Allfather has missed. It is Asgard’s blind spot. No one else has discovered this area except me,” he explained, stroking her back. “Though I sealed the opening before you let out your energy so no one can feel it.”
She straightened up. “Was it strong?”
“Not enough to rattle my shield.”
She grabbed the pillow and hugged it. “It has been a long time since I felt that.”
His hand now rested on her knee. “Does it always happen like that?”
“Not really. It happened twice before. First was when my mother died. I couldn’t remember the second time though. I try bottling up all my feelings but whenever I get too anxious my energy would flare. It’s dangerous.” She looked at him. “I’m dangerous.”
“Stella.” He lifted her chin with his finger. “I don’t want to hear that from you. You’re not dangerous, if you want I can help you with that.” His finger lightly grazed her jaw. “And I don’t want you to keep your feelings. Allow yourself to feel your emotions. If you want to talk about it, I’m always here.”
She smirked. In reality, she didn’t want to open all the old wounds and boxes. She wanted to move forward with Loki. Have a fresh, new life. But what if something like this would happen again? What if she’ll get triggered by something? She’ll never see it coming.
She slowly nodded. “Thank you, love.” She picked up his hand and kissed it.
“Anything for my beloved.” He moved forward to kiss her on the lips.
She looked at the opening of the cave. “Can we go outside?”
“I don’t see why not.” He smiled and he helped her stand. Hand-in-hand they went out into the open.
Stella turned in the direction of the water and noticed two huge waterfalls on each side of the cave, illuminated by the moon. She checked what’s beyond the cliff and saw treetops spreading for miles. Then she gasped when she looked up. “Asgard’s night sky is indeed beautiful.”
Instead of looking up, Loki was gazing at her. “When I told you the night sky in Asgard is more alluring than in Midgard, I was not lying.”
She chuckled, eyes still fixated on the sky. “You know I said a while ago that I never trusted anyone after that, I never did. I never felt safe around people I don’t know. But then when I saw you in Asgard’s grounds that night, the first time I saw you after that incident with that...asshole, I thought I could trust you, despite you being the god of mischief and lies,” she explained.
“Why so?” He raised a brow.
She lifted their entwined hands and clasped her other hand on his. “I don’t know why but I feel safe in your presence, even though you would playfully threaten to hurt me.”
“You make it sound like this is a sadist-masochist relationship.”
They laughed. “It’s not that. Well, you did threaten to pluck my eyes out. I mean, I felt like I could trust you even when you were trying so hard to annoy me. I first thought maybe because we’re allies? But I felt something deeper than that. To be honest I was afraid.” Her eyes veered to him and he has a concerned look on his face. “I was afraid of falling for a god.”
“Because we outlive you?”
She looked up. “It’s more than that.” There were more than stars above them. Constellations, planets, even a glimpse of other galaxies. Her mother would love the sight. “I was afraid it would be like my mom. Like, what if you’ll leave for good because you realized a mortal was not for you?”
Loki closed his eyes, feeling the pinch in his heart. “Stella.”
She lets go of his hand. “I’m sorry. I know it’s just more than 48 hours since we got into this relationship and I’m already talking about this.” She took a few steps to the edge of the cliff and turned back to him. “I’m sorry I’m thinking ahead. It might be a shock to you.”
He walked closer to her and held her tenderly. “Stella, please. Don’t apologize for your thoughts and dreams.” She bit her lower lip, still a bit embarrassed by what she said. “Listen, about that. Do you think I would allow myself to leave you? My dear, my love, that is one thing I will never do.” His voice cracked. She looked at him and tears were threatening to let go. “And if ever we’ll have a child, I would always be there for both of you. I don’t want my child to grow up the way I did.” Stella lifted her hand to catch Loki’s fresh tear. “It’s never too early to think about the possibilities we have, Stell. Though I want you to always remember that I love you and I am here for you no matter what happens.”
For the second time around, tears fall from her eyes. But this time they were tears of joy. She smiled, still processing her thoughts and Loki’s statement. She looked up and took a deep breath before speaking. “Loki, thank you. I…” She hesitated. She didn’t want to sound desperate or anything. But it would sound unfair for him. Loki was slowly baring himself to her, letting her know of his past, present, and future. It was true this is the first time she ever felt loved and wanted but she didn’t want to say it out loud. Her pride was eating her alive, holding her back.
She held his hand. She always found comfort holding him. She closed her eyes and felt his finger brush her cheek. She leaned to it, chasing the sensation. He kept his hand on her cheek and waited for her.
“It’s my first time to feel this. To feel wanted and loved by someone. To trust someone. I always thought I was bad at love. Relationships scare me. But this time, this, this thing we have -” She locked her fingers in his - “I have a good feeling about this. This time, I want to be with you through whatever. I meant it when I told you your battles are my battles now.” She smiled at him.
Loki bent forward and his lips brushed on hers before he closed in. Underneath Asgard’s night sky, they shared a soft, passionate kiss. Stella felt her heart fluttering. She had never felt this happy since her mother died. She knew if her mom saw this, she would be happy for her as well.
On the other hand, Loki never felt at peace until now. It was true, he was trying to annoy Stella but later on, he realized that he cared for her. Now he is sure that he cares and loves her with all his heart and soul. He swore to himself that he would do everything to keep her safe. If possible, he wanted to live a peaceful life with her, a life without Odin constantly bugging him just for the heck of it all. He is happy and in love. And he’ll do whatever it takes to have this forever.
Stella pulled away from him after a while and clung to him, burying her face on his chest. “This is the best night of my life. Having you here, kissing you under the galaxy,” she said.
Loki kissed the top of her head. “This is the best night of my life, too.” He traced runes on his wrist and it disappeared with a faint green glow. It was something to make him remember this night, whatever might happen to him. He scanned the sky. “It feels like we have exchanged our vows, all the nine realms witnessing this ceremony without them knowing.”
“Well, we have not thoroughly talked about it the first time since we acted upon it.” They shared a soft laugh. Stella looked up. “It’s magnificent. Can we stay here for the night?” She looked at him.
“Sure. So, would you want to stay here or back inside?”
“Can we stay here for a while? We can sit down and you tell me about the planets and the other galaxies.”
Stella woke up first, the sun rays warming her face. She turned slowly, finding herself locked under Loki’s arm; a thick, fur blanket covering them. His back was facing the cave’s entrance. She perched on her elbow and studied the entrance, seeing Loki’s magic still protecting them. She checked her watch and it was already a little past 6 on Earth. She slowly removed his arm and got up, stretching her arms and back. Surprisingly, the mat they slept on was soft enough for them not to feel the rocky ground underneath.
Oh yeah, magic.
She walked to the entrance and out to the edge of the cliff. As she went, she conjured her sunglasses and wore them since the sun was rising directly at the cave. The waterfalls were still flowing strong. She gasped when she discovered what was below them. She could now clearly see how thick the rainforest is below them. She opened her hand and conjured the binoculars that she knew were stuffed into her subspace. When it materialized, she brought it up to her eyes and studied the foliage below.
With a few turns of the binoculars’ focus, she saw where the crystal-clear water ran. She sat on a rock with one knee up and she surveyed the land until she located the tip of Asgard’s palace, glinting under the morning sun.
Loki, on the other hand, moved on the mat and he suddenly woke up when he found the space beside him empty. He sat up, looking around for Stella until he saw her silhouette at the mouth of the cave. He stood up, returned their sleeping gears to his subspace, and joined her outside. He bent to her and kissed her on the cheek. She greeted him good morning and he sat beside her.
“You gave me the fright of my life not finding you beside me,” he said.
“You don’t have to worry about me. I was just enjoying the view.” She passed the binoculars to him. “Wanna take a peek?”
He placed his elbows on his knees. “I’ve been here a thousand times now. I know every nook and cranny of this area.”
“Aw, come on. Indulge me.” She nudged him with her elbow.
He chuckled. “Alright.” He peered through the binoculars and pointed it straight to the road of the nearest village. So far the coast is clear. There’s a faint trace of domestic smoke on the east side of the village. Then he focused it on Stella.
Stella noticed and she bent backward to clear his view. Loki followed her. She bent further back until she was pushing Loki. “What are you doing?” She asked.
“Checking out the view.” He grinned. “Looks beautiful.”
Stella rolled her eyes and gave him a light slap. “Where in the world did you learn how to be corny like that?”
Loki stifled a laugh and gave her back the binoculars. “I’ve heard it from one of the Midgardian movies Thor made me watch with him. I lost a bet with him and he made me watch these movies Jane called...romcoms?” Stella laughed out loud and he raised an eyebrow. “I am not sure if there’s something wrong with those.”
She wiped a tear from her right eye. “There’s totally nothing wrong with those! I’m just surprised you managed to sit through one.”
“At first I didn’t.” She looked at him, amused. “I let a clone sit through half of it. But when the story became interesting, I watched intently. Though the ending was bland.”
She leaned on his side. “Mhm.”
“Do you watch those kinds of films?”
She brought her right knee up and gazed at the distance. “Not a big fan of romcoms.”
They sat there in silence, savoring the fresh morning breeze and the comfortable silence between them. Stella dropped her head back on Loki’s shoulder. He then tilted his head, his cheek on her forehead. At one point Stella started humming I Want To Hold Your Hand by The Beatles and she softly giggled as he did.
Back on Earth, Darcy entered the Physics faculty’s office and then opened another door that led to Jane’s office. “Here’s your Venti cappuccino and a croissant, madame.” Darcy placed the cup holder and a paper bag of their pastries. She got her chocolate doughnut and her grande mocha then settled on the seat in front of Jane’s desk, propping her feet on the seat in front of her. “You need help?” She asked through her mouthful.
Jane was sitting on the seat behind her desk, scanning her files. Her forehead was scrunched as she read the papers. “I’m fine. I just had to finish checking these papers. They’re all subjective; I can’t let you check them.”
Darcy took a sip of her mocha. “I hope you don’t mind spending my one-hour free period here.”
Jane smirked. “You always do that.”
She bit her pastry. “I don’t have anything else to do.”
“As usual,” Jane muttered without looking up.
Darcy watched Jane as the latter flipped the document she was holding and picked up another one. Jane pulled herself closer to her desk and wrote something on the front page of the first document before taking a sip of her drink. “You know, I kinda have a weird feeling about Stella.”
“Why?” Jane inquired, still not looking up.
Darcy peeled off the pastry paper stuck under her doughnut. “I think she’s playing both sides.”
“Elaborate please.”
“I think she’s working more with Loki than with the Avengers.” Jane didn’t reply, so she pressed on. “I think she’s just like Loki. A trickster.” Jane quickly glanced at her. Jane still didn’t reply, and Darcy took it as a sign for her to continue stating her case. “They have this secret language only the two of them can understand. What if they know each other way back?”
“You weren’t listening to the discussion last night. Thor and Loki know Stella and Athena way before Stella started working with the brothers.” She reminded Darcy.
“Yeah, but what if Loki and Stella are working together in a, y’know -” she gestured as if presenting something - “mischievous way? What if Stella is Loki’s pawn or something? An ally in that sense?” Jane doesn’t seem to react and it made her worry. Her eyes widened. “Are you under Loki’s spell?”
Jane’s attention was finally on her. “She seems okay the first time I met her during Stark’s party. Agent Romanoff seemed to trust her fully, also Mr. Stark. And I’m sure you heard Thor. I didn’t feel any different.”
Darcy slowly backed away from her. “You are spell-bound, indeed.”
Jane shook her head, smirking. “Just give it the benefit of the doubt, Darce.”
Darcy slumped on the seat. “I don’t know. I’ll still hold on to my taser if the need arises.”
“You’ll need something more than that.” Jane continued checking the papers.
Darcy pulled out her phone from her cardigan’s pocket and typed ‘how to defend yourself from demigods’ on the search bar.