Slow Grenade
Chapter 17: Slow Grenade
She jumped at the voice, the Aresian dagger appearing in her hand. She scanned the room, dagger extended, anticipating an attack.
“You don’t need to arm yourself. It’s just me.”
Stella gasped. She scanned the room until she locked on a familiar, dark, tall figure in the corner. “Jarvis, turn on the lights.” The room lit up. “No...no way.” Loki, donned in his leather Asgardian ensemble, approached her. “No! Stay right there!” She raised her dagger to Loki. Her free hand glowed blue and a blue mist filled the room.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re not real. Fuck, this is a bad joke. What the hell,” she muttered as she waited for a residue of yellow Aresian magic to be highlighted. When her blue mist rested on Loki, it showed nothing.
Stella’s eyes narrowed. “Who sent you, huh? Why don’t you have Loki’s magical residue or any residue at all?” She was still raising her dagger.
“Stella, calm down. It’s just me.” Loki said in a calm, comforting voice. The same voice that she heard when she was high on drugs when they were in Athens.
“Shut up! You’re not real. I killed Loki.”
He frowned. “You didn’t. That’s why I’m here.”
“No! He’s dead! And whoever you are, you better spare yourself because I won’t.” A blue film engulfed her body and her casual clothes were replaced by her weathered gold armor and white garments. Her two swords were attached to her back. Her hair was up in a braided bun. Oh, how she missed having this transformation.
Loki was impressed to discover that her energy has returned. He can’t help but feel elated. “I just returned from the dead and now you’re sending me back?” Loki sighed. “That was not the reply I was expecting.”
She sent a soft beam of blue to Loki but it just dissipated. She brought her hands to her gaping mouth.
“Was that your illusion breaker?”
“You-you can’t be real,” she said, her eyes wide.
Loki moved to her and held her arm. She flinched at his touch. “Stella, you have to beli-”
“You -” Stella slapped him hard, hitting his cheek.
“Ow,” he said. A mortal slapping him wasn’t painful at all but this took him off guard.
“I KILLED YOU! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!” She lost color on her face.
He gave her an apologetic smile. “I was, but now I’m here.”
“No! This can’t be real! I stabbed you!” Her eyes scanned Loki. “Are you even real?!” She was keeping her distance from him, curling into herself. She took deep breaths as she felt her heart racing.
“Stell, calm down. I’m as real as you can get. And you already slapped me, that should give you the answer,” he softly said. He walked closer to her and extended a hand. His fingers lightly brushed on her tensed hand.
“I stabbed you with the scepter! This can’t be real!” They locked eyes. Stella’s brown eyes were wide in horror while Loki’s greens were soft but it was more than that, something she couldn’t describe in a word - it was like a mother trying to calm her child, but more than that. And it dawned on her: he looked like an old lover asking for a second chance. “No,” she said more to herself. She backed away from him again. “This can’t be real. Don’t touch me.”
He moved closer to her and held her tenderly by the arm. She froze, lips trembling. “Stella, my dear. I’m alive. You have nothing to be afraid of.”
“How are you alive?” She ran her hands on his black and green leather top. “I stabbed you here.” She poked his side.
“You didn’t.”
She broke away from him. “I did. You died in front of us. It was in the footage.”
“It was my illusion you stabbed.”
Stella staggered back and fell on the couch. “Your what?! How?!”
“I had to.” He sat beside her but kept the distance between them.
“Why would you do that?” She tilted her head back and closed her eyes. “I was so scared, I thought Odin or Thor would kill me.”
He chuckled sadly. “Don’t believe they would avenge my death. They won’t.”
She turned to him. “Oh, they would, trust me. If not Asgard, I would be in Olympus, imprisoned for life.”
“If you still won’t believe me -” he opened his palm and conjured a vial with dark red liquid from his subspace - “Athena found out you were worried about being imprisoned. She said it wouldn’t happen because I’m very well alive. And she knew how injured you were and she wanted me to give you this.”
She stared at the vial in disbelief. “You talked to Athena?” She picked up the vial and saw the inscription etched on the vial. It was from Athena. “Where were you during all these weeks?”
He sighed and shifted on his seat. “I had to take care of other...business.” Stella was still studying the vial. “That’s to speed up your healing.”
There were tons of questions racing through her head, and she couldn’t organize her thoughts. “Where did you go when your illusion replaced you?” She blurted out.
“I can’t declare my secrets, little one.”
She glanced. “You could’ve just told us that you were coming back.”
“I have told you.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“I did. I was in your head, sending messages.”
Her brows furrowed, then she raised them when she realized. “No. No way.” She felt her ears heat up. “You were sending messages through my dreams?”
He nodded. “And you were trying to shut everything out.”
Stella slapped her forehead, embarrassed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Did...did you see everything?” Loki didn’t need to say something, it was all written on his face. Stella stood up and faced the window. “No. Just...no.”
Loki MUST be kidding, she thought. She had various thoughts about her current situation while he was gone. In her dreams, she had been reminiscing on their moments together, even though they were platonic. But at one point, she has explored what could have been, wondering if he didn’t die, could they go beyond that platonic relationship they had? At one point too, she had realized that she liked him when she remembered the time Loki and Thor entered her office back in Kalambaka. She remembered how she couldn’t look straight at him without feeling warm inside.
Loki watched her as she crossed her arms on her chest and started nibbling on her thumb. He turned and folded his leg on the couch. He was not physically in the tower, but he saw her. He knew what she was doing. Since her necklace had his seiðr, it became his connection to her. He felt quite guilty doing it without her knowledge but it had to be done. He didn’t want her to know where he was and what he was doing while he was supposedly dead. It would put her under a greater danger’s radar.
He did not see everything but he saw parts. Whenever her dreams would turn intimate, he would cut the connection. Some nights he would hear her whispering his name in her sleep. As much as he wanted to stay in her room undetected, he decided against it, respecting her privacy. Though he badly wanted to know why she was thinking about those things and why she was calling him. The more he lingered, trying to send a message to her, the more his emotions about her became confusing. He didn’t want to be emotionally attached but...he wanted to hold Stella in his arms. He wanted to understand why she thinks of him like that and why he feels like this for her. Those weeks of being alone and jumping from one realm to another have not cleared his head and his feelings about Stella. The more he resisted, the more he saw her in his head.
He placed his arm on the backrest of the couch, his skin yearning to touch her.
Is this what love feels like?
“If it gives you comfort, I have not seen everything.”
He can lie, Stella thought. He is the god of lies. He can say anything. He must have seen everything. Her hand started to shake; she started wringing her hands.
Her thoughts diffused when Loki said her name in a low voice and held her arms, gently pulling her closer to him so her back was resting on his chest. He felt that she was tense so he rubbed her arms, trying to give her relief. But she moved away from him.
“You have to believe me on this,” he softly said.
She faced him. “You’re scaring the shit out of me. I thought I'd lost you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t want to lose me?”
Stella swallowed. “Uh...you’re my responsibility. I should make sure nothing happens to you.”
“I don’t need to be looked after, Lords. I’m perfectly capable of handling myself.” He replied rather pleasantly, unusual for a snarky god of mischief. “Besides you don’t sound like you’re freaking out because it’s your responsibility to keep me alive.”
She cleared her throat. “Look. You were not supposed to be dead in the first place, alright?” She said in an authoritative tone.
“I am not.” He said amusingly.
“Right. I want to keep it that way.” She moved to her little pantry to get herself a glass of water.
“Everyone wants me dead, you know. Everyone in Asgard and Midgard. Everyone in all the Nine Realms, I suppose. I’m surprised someone doesn’t want me dead and that someone is you.” He mused. “Why?”
She finished her water and set her eyes on him. Loki’s brows were furrowed in concern, but the corners of his lips curved a little upwards. “Because…” She really missed seeing him. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for us.”
He followed her but kept a respectable distance. “Keeping me alive is best for us?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Athena trusts you and told me that you can help the realms figure this out.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Athena trusts you so I do too.”
“Regardless of what Athena says.”
She glanced at him. “Yeah, I do. You saved me.”
“Regardless of me saving you.”
“Yeah.”
Loki mentally raised an eyebrow. She wasn’t lying. He walked closer to her. “The things you said after Athens. Did you mean them?”
She looked him in the eyes. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
Loki’s lips parted. He still couldn’t believe the fact that Stella chose to trust him, trust him with her life. She wanted them to be friends. Then he saw more in her dreams, though it was unintentional. She wanted them to be more than friends.
His hand had a mind of its own, slowly rising until he cupped Stella’s cheek. She swallowed, looking at his hand, then up to his face. Stella’s soft, pinkish lips slightly parted. She was anticipating what he would do. He slowly bent closer to her. His heart started to flutter to his throat. He wanted a kiss...and more.
There was a rapid knocking at the door. “Stella!” They heard Thor’s voice booming through the door.
Stella’s head whipped to the door. She left Loki silently cursing his brother. “Yes, Thor?” She asked once she opened.
“Heimdall told me Loki is back, alive,” Thor said.
“Yes, I am, brother.” Loki sternly said behind her.
“Thank the gods.” Thor pushed the door and Stella let him pass.
Loki walked back. “Oh no. No, you’re not doing that.” Thor dropped his Mjölnir and embraced Loki. “You’re...squishing...me…”
Thor released Loki after a while and his hand rested at the crook of his neck. “I am so glad to have you back, brother. Everyone thought you were dead.” He beamed.
Loki dropped his shoulders. “Damn, I forgot to cast the concealing charm on me.”
“It doesn’t matter, brother. You are back.”
Stella was leaning on the door frame, enjoying the reunion of the brothers. Though her heart was not still after what Loki had attempted to do.
Thor turned to Stella. “Lady Lords.” Stella looked up at him. “Do you know what this means?”
“Uh, no.”
Thor approached her and patted her arm. “This means your fears of being imprisoned in life is over.” Behind Thor, Loki’s face shifted. If only it was that easy, he thought. “I told you about this. You didn’t have to worry about it.” Thor continued.
“You knew he was coming back?”
“No. But that’s the third time he did it.” Thor gestured to Loki, who smirked proudly, then left Stella’s room.
Stella turned to Loki. “I would go crazy if I had a sibling who does that.”
“Welcome to my life,” Thor said over his shoulders as he walked the corridor.
Loki strutted to Stella and cleared his throat. “So, where were we?”
“Uh…”
“What happened while I was gone, by the way?” Thor returned, bringing a bottle of beer from their floor’s common room pantry. Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. He should’ve left the concealment charm on. “While we were away, I mean,” he corrected himself.
Stella joined Thor in the corridor. “You didn’t miss much. As for you.” She turned to Loki, who closed her bedroom door as he went out. “You missed a lot.”
“I am aware,” he replied.
Thor finally noticed that Stella was wearing her armor. “I see that you can transform into your suit.”
They all walked to the common area and sat on the couches. Stella and Loki sat on each end of one couch, Thor was in front of them. “I finally regained my energy, and Loki was so kind as to bring back a vial of healing potion from Athena.”
“You have talked to Athena?” Thor asked Loki, surprised.
“Yes. Among others.”
“Have you talked to the demigod?” Thor asked Stella.
“I have, but it never ended as we wanted to. I might let Natasha do the next round of interrogation,” she replied.
“Is this the demigod who you fought?” Loki asked her and she nodded. “Do you know him?”
“Unfortunately, I know him too well.” Stella pulled her issued Stark phone from her pocket, made a few presses, and a hologram materialized in front of her. She placed the phone on the coffee table and waved her hand. Jericho’s file went up. “This is Jericho Castle. I’ve known him for almost my whole life.” Loki clenched his jaw, a pang of irrational jealousy hitting him on the chest. “He is Hermes' son and Athena trained us both. But he’s not like me, who can conjure magic through my hands. Though he can survive crossing the Earthrealm and the underworld, making him a great asset. He’s like you, just without the magic.”
“Hermes, I know him.” Loki scrunched his forehead. “What do you mean? He’s a trickster like his father?”
She nodded. “He was only born with the abilities and the body of a warrior. He wasn’t born with magic. I believe he had gained his sorcery the way Ares gained his: through ancient dark magic.”
Thor and Loki took a moment of silence to think about what she had told them. Then, "Were you born with magic?" asked Loki.
"Yeah. The energy from Zeus' lightning bolts but it's not as strong or as powerful as his. Athena chooses the demigods she trains, and that’s how we both ended up in her temple.”
“Mr. Odinson, Doctor Banner is looking for you.” JARVIS interrupted.
“Is that you or me?” Thor asked Loki.
“Mr. Thor Odinson, sir.” The AI said.
“Alright.” Thor stood up and finished his beer. “I’ll see you two later.” He threw the bottle into the bin and headed to the elevator. When the doors closed, Stella used her energy to change into her casual clothes: a black, loose shirt, front tucked to her dark blue, straight cut denim, and white sneakers. She kept her braided bun though.
“Uh. So…” Loki muttered.
Stella brought a folded leg up to the couch and faced Loki. Loki did the same. The adrenaline rush was slowing down and she yawned. The moon was already up. She turned her body to the window and stared at the city below them.
Loki wanted to hold her. He wanted to wrap his hands around her. When he was gone, he realized that he missed her. That’s why he started sending messages to her through her dreams.
Stella was feeling a little awkward. “You were born with magic, right?” She asked, an attempt to shake off the awkwardness. He confirmed. “Who taught you?” Loki placed a hand on the backrest of the couch and told her that his mother taught him. She smiled at him. “She was a good woman, Loki.”
“You met her?”
"Yeah. Some times."
Loki turned to the city, trying to suppress the pain he felt inside his chest as he remembered that day. "I was in the dungeons when she died. I could've protected her if I wasn't in there."
She caressed her thumb on his fist and he looked at their hands. “We can’t turn back time now. There’s only one way to go and that’s forward. Things happened before. It’s up to us now to forgive ourselves and live for them."
Loki clenched his jaw. If only it’s that easy to forgive and forget. He looked at their hands then to Stella. Her eyes were brimming with hope. He held her hand in his. It seems that having Stella makes the world so much better for him.
"Your mother has passed away as well?"
"Yeah. But she died of natural causes. Cancer when I was 13." She looked away, stared at nothing in particular outside the window. "She was an amazing woman." She replied thickly. “I miss her sometimes.” She smiled sadly. “Oh yeah, the vial.”
Loki has forgotten about that, like the fact that he had attempted to kiss her before Thor interrupted. “Yes. You have to take that. But your sister said you have to take it before you sleep because that makes you drowsy.”
She nodded and slowly slipped her hand from his to fix her shirt. “It’s already nighttime, you want to get something to eat for dinner? You know, go outside, walk around for a bit, feel the night breeze.” She stood up. “Just have a nice, peaceful evening since you’re back and it seems that I won’t be imprisoned for a lifetime in Olympus.”
Loki followed her, changing into a dark blue button-up shirt with sleeves folded up to his elbows, black jeans, and a pair of dark brown chukkas. “Will you ask Thor or the others to join us?”
“Would you want him to?”
He smirked. “No.” She chuckled. “Or we can go to Athens and have those gyros that we failed to get when we were there.” He suggested when they walked to the elevator.
“That’s a great idea but I don’t think I still have the energy to go around Athens. I’d like to crash after dinner.” She pressed the button and the door closed. She leaned on the corner of the car, still thinking of Loki’s failed attempt to kiss her. That was one of the reasons why she wanted to get out of the tower with Loki. Maybe it would finally happen.
Loki was also at the other corner of the elevator, thinking of the same thing. He stood straight and moved closer to face her. She looked up and as he bent down -
The elevator pinged. They jerked at the sound and Loki moved to press his back on the elevator wall. The doors opened and two women bearing Stark Industries ID entered. They blushed when they noticed the tall, enigmatic god with them. Loki noticed and he smirked. He knew how charming he could be and people would forget that he almost obliterated New York in a day.
Stella noticed and she felt her heart drop. A few minutes ago Loki attempted to kiss her twice and now he’s flirting again with these women? The audacity…
Stella sighed when the women scrambled out of the elevator when they arrived on the ground floor. “Where to?” He asked as they exited the tower.
“What do you want? Pizza, Korean, Japanese, Italian, American -”
“Why do mortals have too many choices?”
“To break the monotony. So? What interests you?”
“Japanese sounds interesting.”
“Good choice.”
Stella led them to the nearest Japanese restaurant - her favorite one since she first tried it. When they checked the menu, Loki didn’t know what to get. She noticed how his brows furrowed and started to ask what he wanted to eat. A few more questions later and she suggested he should get tonkatsu, which he did. Stella decided on tsukemen.
After dinner, Stella was feeling really sleepy. “We should go back to the tower now. You look like you’re going to crash in any second from now,” he suggested.
She giggled. “Yeah. Good idea.”
“You want us to translocate to the tower?”
“No. I want to walk.”
On the way up they were quiet. Stella kept on shifting on her feet while they were in the elevator. Loki noticed but he tried to act like he didn’t. The elevator ride seemed longer than it normally was. Or maybe because I was expecting something? She thought. Then she forced herself to forget the idea. It’s not happening. Her thoughts made her want to throw up.
The doors opened to their dimly-lit floor. They went out one after the other. “So, yeah. Thanks for finally showing up and ending my fears of being imprisoned for life,” she said lightly as they walked to their doors.
He stopped on his door. “I hope it would be as easy as that for me,” he replied.
Stella turned to him. “I guarantee you the same will happen. I made sure Odin will not do that.”
He chuckled sadly. “He does not listen to anyone.”
“If he didn’t, you would actually be back in prison right now and not working on this case.” He looked at her, his hand on the knob of his door. He could see her small smile even though it was dim. “Remember when I said I would’ve let Odin do what he wanted to do to you?” Stella watched Loki release the knob and padded to her. “Remember what I told you before? I don’t see you as to how others perceive you to be, Loki.” Stella said when he stopped in front of her.
He took a deep breath and held her face. She sucked her breath and he felt her cheek warming. “Stella, I…” She held his hand and stroked it with her thumb. “Stella, I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He dropped his hand that she was not holding, and picked up the crystal that was hanging on her neck. “It was a protection charm that I placed on this. I did that after your energy disappeared, after our encounter with the twins. Though I also used this to connect to you while I was away.” Stella removed her hand from his and held the crystal. Loki removed his other hand from her face. His eyes went up to meet hers. “You weren’t wearing this when the demigod choked you?”
“No. I was afraid it might get destroyed.”
Loki released the crystal and kept his arms to his sides. “Don’t forget to wear it next time, just to make sure.”
Stella felt her heart drop and her hand reached out for the knob of her room. “I have my energy back.”
Loki started to back away. “Still.”
“Okay.” She turned the knob of her room. “Thanks for accompanying me to dinner.” She couldn’t look him in the eyes. She then pushed her door.
“And, Stella?” She peeked out from her door. Loki has his hand on the knob of his door. He looked at her, opened his mouth, and closed it again. “I…”
“You...?”
“Uh…” He hated himself right now. His thoughts were giving him a headache. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Stella smiled politely and said good night. She locked the door behind her, turned on the lights, and leaned on the wall. She ran a hand on her face. “What the hell’s happening?!” She whispered to herself.