Chapter 7
Lena had written over ten thousand words in the morning. The idea came to her flooding as if it had been stuck in her brain for a while. It energized her so much and she could barely feel the soreness of her wrist and back for sitting and typing so long. The conversation between the characters had never been more organic and natural. She had to take this chance.
The idea was that the characters were having such a big frustration toward each other for a while and finally it came to an explosion. The readers were expecting it and Lena was excited to write it too. She knew they would make up eventually, but for now, it was time for drama and angst.
It was a total coincidence that between Kara and Lena at the moment something like that was also happening. Yep, totally a coincidence. And Lena might have put in a lot of insights in order to write this intense scene. From her own experience. From a life that didn’t have a lot of arguments and confrontation but coincidentally it had some now.
Lena had to tell herself to stop gritting her teeth. It was the characters doing the being upset, not her.
Nope.
She would not be upset over Kara not writing her for the past few days. Did that make Lena even more upset than being the second choice to Kara’s chat partner? Maybe. But she decided that she would not be upset anymore. Nobody would benefit from it and Lena could use this to channel the drama fuel on the story. She would call this a win.
Ever since they returned, Luke had been on his best behavior. Perhaps a weekend getaway really did him good. Even though it took a bit longer to wake him up still, Luke quickly remembered that he needed to go to the kindergarten and obediently let Lena lead him out of the house. After he was gone, Lena returned home and she started doing some cleaning, cooking until she had nothing else left to do to continue writing.
She intentionally didn’t look at her phone for hours. After the tenth time checking that Kara had not written her back after her usual ‘good morning’, Lena thought about how Kara might have been truly busy writing the other girl. And it annoyed her all over again.
The chapter eventually came to an end where Lena had to post it. The sending click brought her back to the reality that Kara still had not written her back. It began to feel less furious but sadder. Lena sat silently at the laptop and scrolled mindlessly through social media, bored out of her mind and sulking through the hour. She missed Kara.
She missed Kara so badly, it hurt that she didn’t write Kara and it also hurt that Kara didn’t write her.
Screw it, she thought, and picked up her phone, clicking onto their chat.
‘You want me to chat with her?’
‘Yes. Go.’
Lena cringed when she reread her own words. It was her who pushed Kara away. It was her own doing. It was her fault. Of course Kara would feel better writing anyone else who would treasure her time. Lena was really stupid, wasn’t she?
Her fingers started typing an apology, and then they halted. What would she apologize for actually? She knew she was in the wrong for pushing Kara away, and she knew it was because of her annoyance when Kara suddenly got so close to this new person, whom she didn’t know.
But why was she even annoyed?
It made zero sense.
Deleting what she just wrote, Lena flung her body down onto the bed with a loud groan. Kara would definitely want to know why Lena did what she did. She would push for the truth. But if Lena couldn’t even explain it to herself, how could she do that to Kara? And if she wouldn’t be able to, Kara would be even more mad.
Because of that, Lena couldn’t write Kara right now. She was stuck.
Reaching for the phone again, Lena scrolled back further to reread their last conversation. In the heat of the moment, Lena didn’t realize that Kara was actually checking to see if it was okay for her to write the other girl. When she read that the first time, it sounded sarcastic to her because Kara was being sarcastic right before that, so it would make sense for Kara to continue taunting her.
But now when she read it again, it sounded rather timid. As if Kara was truly checking if Lena would be upset that she would be writing the other girl. Perhaps she didn’t mean to rub it at Lena’s face that she had a better option.
Options.
Lena frowned and cursed at herself. She had been upset with how she had only been an option to Jack and instead of being able to separate that from how she was with Kara, she lumped them both together. Lena really didn’t want to be just an option. When she found out that instead of being able to chat with Kara as usuals, she would have to wait until Kara decided that it was time for Lena to be chosen.
It hurt to be just an option.
It hurt to be just an optional presence in someone’s life.
Even Jack, who married and had a child with Lena, could still see Lena as an option he could live with, what would stop Kara from seeing her the same way one day? Maybe that day already came.
She didn’t want to be an option with no meaningful substances in Kara’s life.
This someone who could get through Kara’s external walls and see how beautiful Kara’s soul was just like that. Kara had told Lena how it was so hard for her to even casually converse with anyone, let alone let them see how warm she could be. And how Lena had been one of the rare people who got to do that.
This girl just did that in the span of hours.
Lena wished that she had to fight longer to earn it.
Kara wrote that she was kind of funny to talk to. She must have laughed in front of her. Something Lena could never witness. It ached her inside to slowly see what drove her annoyance.
Lena couldn’t help but compare her and the other girl. It made no sense since she didn’t even know what her name was. But her presence posed some kind of threat to Lena.
That was when she realized: she was jealous of her.
Jealous?
Why would she be jealous?
Kara was a great person and a good friend. Of course she deserved to have good people around her. Lena should be happy rather than jealous. Could it be that because Lena didn’t have much contact with any of her old friends and Kara was this constant in her life so she became possessive of her?
That would make so much sense. Lena truly did feel threatened by the presence of the other girl and she blamed Kara for that. She blamed Kara for not shutting her out the moment she was annoyed by her like everyone else. She blamed Kara for giving her a chance.
Man, Lena really fucked up.
Lena should not be thinking like this when it came to Kara. She felt like she was entitled to Kara’s attention. There was this deep and burning belief that she deserved such a thing. Lena had no idea where it came from but in the moment, it felt so right to be angry, to be demanding of Kara’s time.
The embarrassment of having such audacity washed over Lena like a tidal wave. Kara must be hating her now for behaving like this.
Grabbing the phone, Lena began to write. She needed Kara to at least know that she didn't mean ill. She was desperate when she felt as if she would lose Kara. To this random girl. Yes, it made zero sense and perhaps Kara would laugh. But she had to tell Kara.
___________
The gradual beeping of the machine woke Kara up. She let out a heavy sigh and opened her eyes. The bleached white ceiling was hauntingly bright enough for her to regret looking at. Her entire body had been on this stupid bed for a day and a night. It was enough.
The door to the room opened, a nurse came in with Kara’s chart. She greeted Kara and began to check her vitals.
“You're doing better. That's very good, Miss Danvers.”
“Thank you. Can I go today?” Kara already sat up. Her body was cracking left and right. It felt as if her joints were rusty and on the verge of being trash.
“Yes.” The nurse answered and then she saw Kara trying to stand up, she added. “But I think it would be better if you don't rush and stay until this afternoon to discharge.”
Kara took a look at the kind nurse and reassured her, “It's okay. I feel better now. Now what should I do to be able to leave?”
“You gotta talk to your doctor, Dr. Hunter. He would tell you how to treat yourself after leaving and might write you some prescriptions.” The nurse took the jacket off the hanger to hand Kara. “Is there anyone picking you up or anyone I should call?”
“There’s no need. I just really want to get out of here.”
The discharge procedure was rather swift. Kara didn't get taken to the hospital for any huge reasons so she was also quickly sent out. Doctor Hunter wrote Kara some other prescriptions for mild painkillers and advised her to rest and drink lots of water.
As if Kara would actually do any of that. She knew she wouldn't so she only nodded for him to sign the discharge paper. What she needed would be the painkiller prescription since Kara didn’t want to steal more from Jeramiah.
The fresh air already made Kara feel better. She found a bench near the exit and headed there to take a moment. She hated hospitals. Every time she came here when she was younger, it was always the result of Jeremiah’s violence. Sometimes it was internal bleeding, other times it was a broken toe when he pushed down the closet during his rage. Kara had come up with all kinds of excuses for those injuries. She had no other choice. If anyone found out, her family would be broken. Sure, it was horrible at times but it was the only thing she knew and had.
This time Kara was brought to the hospital when Siobhan found out she was burning hot during breakfast. Kara didn't know how high of a fever she had had but her mom said she was on the verge of a seizure. That scared Kara a bit. She didn't want to be in any state that would be so vulnerable and weak to others and they could do anything to her.
Kara knew her time wasn't a lot, but she hoped that Rao would keep her around a bit. She was still needed by the people around. She couldn't just die right now.
Her mind thought of Lena. It would be ironic if she died yesterday and Lena would never know. And nobody would inform her. The ache in her chest returned at the thought.
If Kara died and Lena didn't know about it, would Lena be happier that way? Or should she know, so that she could mourn and move on?
Kara hadn't been writing to Lena for a few days. At first it was intentional. She wanted Lena to feel her absence and truly regretted pushing her away into someone else’s arms. So many nights she had to pretend like knowing that Jack would come home and then their time would be postponed because of course Lena being his wife wouldn't hurt at all. And she knew what would happen between married people.
She wasn't dumb.
Whenever Lena was offline, Kara tried to distract herself from the fact that anything could be happening on the other end of the chat.
She was angry and also not angry at Lena for behaving like a child. Kara herself wasn't the best in the communication department, hence people always found her too bitchy. It was fine for her. But she was upset that Lena just pushed her away. Even though she wasn’t playing sunshine and nice, she still hoped that Lena would not challenge her departure. Not like Kara wanted to leave Lena. She knew that one day she would have to, when she inevitably left for the army, so on one hand she wanted to reserve as much time together as possible. On the other hand, she couldn’t dare to voice out her need and could only be angry at Lena.
The phone vibrated. Kara checked to see that it was a message from the woman she was thinking about. Taking a deep breath, she tapped it open. She was surprised to see that it wasn't one, instead there were multiple texts and the phone had only been alerting her of the latest one.
‘Good morning.’
‘Are you still angry?’
‘Good morning.’
‘Hey, write me something at least.’
‘Good morning.’
‘Good morning, Kara.’
A sad smile spread on Kara’s lips. She knew it was rather mean to leave Lena hanging like this but it hurt and warmed her heart when she saw any sign that Lena was giving a shit. It was the bare minimum but it was all she asked for.
'I'm sorry for being like that. At the moment, I really didn't think much and just acted. I was being such a bitch to you. Idk if it's too late but after thinking hard, I guess I could explain it?’
Kara’s eyes widened as she continued to read.
‘I was jealous.’
Blinking away the disbelief, Kara looked up from the screen to reset her eyesight and then back at the screen again. The word ‘jealous’ was as clear as day. It made Kara’s heart do cardio exercises. Could it be what Kara was thinking about? Could it be?
‘I was jealous. Yeah, don't laugh. It happened before to my best friend in high school. We were in a training course and she started making new friends. I was jealous of that and mean to her. In the end, I understood that friends could have new friends too. It's normal. You should be able to have new friends too. I know it's common sense but you already know that I'm not really socializing much anyway.’
Kara’s heart stopped racing and dropped down to her stomach. Lena was indeed jealous, but not in the way Kara was hoping for. And why did she even hope for such things? Clearly it was unrealistic.
'I will make peace with it. I don't want to be mean to you like what I did to my best friend back then. You deserve to have more people who are good in your life.’
Kara sighed longingly after reading. On the way home, she stared at what Lena had written. What should she even feel? Should she be happy or upset? At the moment she couldn't really feel. She already saw this coming, but why did it still hurt?
Kara decided to respond to Lena. It wasn't right to be able to read all of what Lena had written and stayed quiet. Pulling all of her strength into the tips of the thumbs, Kara typed away in the chat.
'I won't laugh. I understand such emotions. I guess that if you would suddenly have someone you write with more and you’d write to me less, I’d be upset too. Next time, do be honest and tell me that you're jealous or whatever, okay?’
Lena responded immediately.
‘Okay. I just didn't know what I was feeling.’
‘You were deadass annoyed. And you denied it. Which is what I don't like.’
‘Yeah. Idk. I was embarrassed, I guess.’
‘Of being annoyed?’
‘Of being jealous. Sure I couldn't name it back then but I think deep in my guts I knew I was jealous and I felt embarrassed.’
‘But why would you be embarrassed?’
'I'm not sure. I felt cornered and exposed when you were asking me. You know, like those wild animals that got pushed into a deadend. They will bite you.’
‘So you mean to say that because you felt cornered, you pushed me away.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Are you afraid of me knowing how you feel?’
Kara had no idea where this conversation would even lead to, but knowing that Lena pushed her away because she felt like she had to bring some consolation into Kara’s aching heart. Of course she didn't want Lena to push her away in any given circumstances but she understood.
‘Could be.’
‘Now that you told me, how are you feeling?’
‘Relieved. Happy that you responded to me.’
‘Good. So please try to not bite me next time. Just tell me what you feel. Be honest with me. Please.’
'I'll do that.’
‘Okay good.’
Kara quickly got off the bus and walked towards her apartment. When she looked at the phone again, Lena had written her a question.
‘How have you been?’
Kara paused on her tracks and wondered how she should respond. Lena was quick to be worried so maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to tell her that Kara had been in the hospital.
'I'm good.’
‘How is your friend?’
It took Kara a moment to realize which person Lena was talking about. She bit her lip, deciding to tell a half-truth, since the truth was quite embarrassing to tell.
‘Idk. I haven’t written to her.’
‘Is it because of me?’
‘No.’
‘Well, you should write her.’
‘Weren't you about to bite my head off a few days ago because I was writing her? Why are you telling me to do that now?’
'I'm trying, okay?’
‘Good. But that's for later. I haven't been writing you for days.’ Taking a pause to give herself some courage, Kara added. ‘I’ve missed you.’
‘Me too.’
‘I notice. So many texts.’
‘Well you haven't responded. I was worried and kinda freaking out a bit.’
Kara let herself into the building, leaning against the lift’s wall. The reflection of her own image made her grimace. She looked like shit. The reception in the elevator was always shit so she waited until she stepped out of it to reply.
‘Sorry. I’ve been sick.’
‘What? What the fuck? Why didn't you tell me anything???’
‘Relax. I'm fine, okay? I was just not well enough to use the phone. Nothing too dramatic.’
‘What do you mean by not well enough? What did you have?’
Kara groaned mentally. The more Lena knew, the more she would get worried.
‘A little fever.’
‘What was your temperature?’
‘Rao, it was just a little fever, Lena. I'm fine now.’
‘Since when did you get sick?’
‘Yesterday. I’m better now. Don’t freak out already, okay?’
‘Okay. You gotta rest now. Drink lots of water.’
‘Sure.’
‘I mean it.’
‘I’ll try.’
Kara found her way back to her home. Everyone was either at work or school at the moment. She was greeted with the comfort of silence, to which calmed her. She took off the jacket and hung it up, then she went to see if there was something in the fridge for her to eat. There was a small bowl of pasta in it, which must have been the dinner of yesterday. Kara took it and put it in the microwave.
‘I’m sorry again, for being jealous.’
‘I already told you. It’s okay that you feel jealous. I get that. I just don’t like that you pretended to be cool and the way you behaved. I could tell that you were being annoyed, Lena.’
‘Why didn’t you just point it out and be clear about it?’
Kara asked herself the same question and she gave Lena the answer she had given herself.
‘I want you to be able to see for yourself how not cool it was. If I had pointed out then we might not even have this fight, but then you wouldn’t learn anything. The urge to make you see your mistake was bigger than trying to smooth things over for me.’
‘Do you do the same with others?’
‘Yes. I don’t want to let people get away with being a jerk and I got called a bitch for it. There is no exception. Well, maybe if I don’t really care about the person, then I wouldn’t even bother, you know.’
‘So you’re saying that you care about me.’
Kara half-rolled her eyes. ‘Of course I care about you. That’s why it pisses me off when you pretended to be unaffected while you were. It’s like lying to me. You know how I feel about it.’
Okay, Kara was being a hypocrite for lecturing Lena about lying. Surely, if Lena knew about the other girl not existing, Kara would never be able to bury it. But that would be something Kara had to deal with later. For now, she was telling all of the truths. She didn’t like lying and she would not ever like to lie. It was not cool to lie to Lena, and Kara didn’t enjoy it at all.
‘I know you don’t like being lied to. I was just so embarrassed.’
‘Okay, look. If you’re confused or embarrassed or whatever, just tell me. I’ll listen to you. And if I had known you were jealous, I wouldn’t have told you about writing to her.’
Lena didn’t respond right away and Kara started to wonder if she had said something weird. Then Lena eventually wrote.
‘You shouldn’t have to moderate what you could say to me. I hope that we will be able to talk about all kinds of things.’
‘We’ll see.’
The conversation went on as usual. Kara wrote Lena in between doing chores and cleaning around the apartment. She had been gone for one day and she could tell that only her mom was doing the cleaning. The laundry was piling up a bit and the fridge was slightly unorganized. Kara washed the clothes, rearranged the fridge and hung up laundry. Only then she could lay down a bit to chill. Eliza would be home soon and then they could cook together. Usually Kara would have cooked but after the cleaning, she felt like she had no energy left.
‘I posted the new chapter, btw.’
The news put a smile on Kara’s face. She quickly opened the writing site and started reading Lena’s update. Then she came across a part that she knew to be inspired by real life.
‘Aisha and Leah were having a hefty fight, weren’t they?’
‘Oh, yeah. That part was a little bit more personal. Please don’t mind that.’
‘No, it’s pretty good. You know I’ve been on the edge of my seat with how they would handle this for like ten chapters. This is great.’
‘Really? I was a bit worried that I cranked it up a bit too much. But considering Leah and Aisha are pretty bad at communicating, it feels right.’
‘Would she go for Kira, though?’
‘You would love that so much, wouldn’t you?’
‘Um, hello? Kira would never do what Leah did. I have been a supporter of Kaisha since the beginning and I will always ship them.’
‘Yeah, I remember how you reacted to me putting Laisha together.’
‘Oh that. At first it was definitely not on my list. But you wrote it in a very entertaining way. That one story where Leah and Aisha got lost in France was hilarious.’
‘I couldn’t believe what kind of crack I wrote there. But yeah it was hilarious.’
‘You’re good at funny stuff too, Lena. I like reading your writing in general.’
Eliza came back and started cooking. Kara joined her and got her mind wrapped up in the process of cooking plus being scolded for leaving the hospital without telling anyone about it. She knew she would get some heat for it, but in the moment she didn’t want to bother anyone and she could go home on her own. Her mother was quick to get worried, as mothers do, when she saw Kara at home. This was where Kara could imagine Lena being the same when she was kind of off the radar for days.
After cooking together, Kara went to take a shower. She had been in the hospital for a day, she needed to have her body forget about it. But first, she would only sit in the shower cabin and chill for a moment. In an environment where a safe spot of not having to deal with anyone’s shit, the shower cabin was all Kara had.
The phone was brought into the cabin with her. She occasionally wrote Lena and her friend always responded. Kara enjoyed chatting with Lena a lot. When she thought about how Lena was jealous, even though for a platonic kind of way, it still warmed up her heart that Lena had placed her in such an important position. This would be the closest thing Kara could have to a relationship with Lena and it already made Kara happier.
Suddenly Kara got a text message from her twin. She didn’t know what to expect from Linda, but she did not expect this.
‘Bitch why did you tell Dad that we have boys in the group? He’s been harassing me for hours about them, cussing me out. He fucking called me a slut just because I didn’t tell him their names. It should have been automatically understood, bitch. Why are you so fucking stupid? I can’t believe I’m related to you.’
Kara’s entire body froze in the spot. Then she wrote back as her hands were shaking.
‘Why the fuck are you blaming me for something he did?’
‘The only person in this entire fucking family who could stand that son of a bitch is you. You’re his best friend, you should have known better. Now my mental health is shit thanks to you and your blabbermouth. I was about to have a good weekend and this ruins everything. Just because you can’t play soccer anymore, you wanna drag me down with you you whore. You know what your problem is? Your fat ass doesn’t get fucked. You untouched bitch.’
‘Go fuck yourself.’ Kara hit the block button.
Throwing the phone away, Kara let out a sigh and slowly stood up. She turned on the showerhead and let the water run down her face. The swelling at her eyes was painful but the water helped soothe it away. She kept her eyes closed. It wasn’t surprising anymore that Linda blamed her for Jeremiah. Everyone was unhappy with her one way or another. Kara was already used to this, so it was no time to cry or mull over it. Linda would get over it too since she didn’t live in the same place with Jeremiah. She had made her choice to move away, why was Kara being blamed for something that happened outside of her power?
The good mood of earlier got quickly crushed by Linda’s message. So crushed that when Lena was writing her, Kara could barely respond properly. The most she could do was writing some lame ass one-word replies just to show Lena that she was there. Eventually, Lena caught on.
‘You okay?’
‘Why do you ask?’
‘You sound different. Quieter. Did something happen?’
Kara freaked out slightly at the question. She didn’t want to bother Lena with the Linda drama. It was something she had to deal with.
‘Just not feeling so good.’
‘What? Are you sick again? Check for fever.’
‘No. I just feel bad.’
‘Emotionally or physically?’
‘Emotionally.’
‘Talk to me. What happened?’
Kara couldn’t really put it down why, but the way Lena was asking her, pressing on the matter was somehow a push that she needed. She began to tell Lena about how Linda blamed her for their dad’s controlling behavior. Just like that. To say that Lena was enraged was an understatement.
‘What the fuck is wrong with her? And him? You didn’t do anything wrong.’
‘That’s how things are, Lena. I must have always done something deserving of being blamed on.’
‘No, that’s bullshit. And you just recovered from being sick. Linda should have left you alone. And she should shut the fuck up. You know what, tell me her address. I’m going to fix her jaws myself.’
A corner of Kara’s mouth quirked up. She found it so endearing that Lena got really worked up over this while usually Lena would have been so calm in almost any situation. She really cared about Kara, didn’t she?
‘No need. I already blocked her. And I’ll talk to my dad today. That’s a fucked up behavior and he should back the fuck up.’
‘Yes he fucking should. What I really detest is the way Linda was using your injuries as an insult. I’m fucking appalled that she would treat her twin sister like this.’
‘She has always been like this since we were younger. Idk what happened to her during the teen years but she talked to me like that whenever she wanted.’
‘What a fucking bitch.’
‘I already blocked her.’
‘And I can clock her. Right in the money hole.’
A silent chuckle escaped Kara’s lips. Lena’s rare violent words warmed Kara’s chest. It felt really good to have someone fighting for you, didn’t it?
‘I’m sorry.’
‘For what?’
‘For telling you about this. It’s like I’m whining.’
‘Sweet, sweet Kara. This is not whining. You’re sharing it with a friend. That’s not a crime. And you definitely don’t need to apologize for it. I’m always here for you.’
That familiar drop of Kara’s heart pushed up a knot in her throat. Tears began to crawl out of her eyes. Kara gripped onto the phone as her face got hotter and hotter and the room became suffocating and she needed fresh air. She stood up abruptly, pretending that everything was fine as the entire family was watching the news and heading towards the balcony.
Kara needed to breathe. She needed some air. She needed her safe corner again.
Her eyes dropped down to the chat, where Lena had continued to write despite Kara not replying.
‘There is no excuse for how you have been talked to. You don’t have to worry about talking to me about it.’
‘You are hard-working, smart and kind. You deserve love and happiness. I know you tend to think you don’t or it wouldn’t be your turn.’
‘But you do. You absolutely do, Kara.’
‘Please, as long as you’re comfortable, tell me about anything.’
‘You are not alone anymore.’
It was hard to find breathing rhythm again but slowly, bit by bit, Kara managed to feel the Earth again. Lena’s words were there, solid and comforting, petting the wounded animal in Kara.
Sure, life had been so rough to her and she was also not the most pleasant person to be around. She knew how her life had been and how it would continue to be. Kara knew it all. She had accepted it. The cruel words from the person that shared a womb with her hurt badly, but at this point, would it even matter anymore? Lena was on the other side, doing her next to comfort her, juggling between her wife and mom duty and Kara being a wreck.
Someone who had never seen her cared about her so much.
Could it be that she deserved such care too?
Or was it a test to see if she would be able to fight her own battle?
Was this Rao’s way to help her?
Finally finding the energy to type back, Kara wiped off her tears, taking a deep breath and replying to the person whose face she didn’t know but their existence stayed in her heart.
‘Thank you for being here. It means a lot to me.’
‘Of course I’m here. I might not be there physically, but you won’t lose me ever.’
‘Are you okay?’
‘Not entirely, but I feel better.’
‘That’s very good. I’m so glad. I got a bit worried there when you didn’t write back.’
‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t be. Fuck Linda. You deserve better than that.’
She didn’t remember what it was like before knowing Lena. She only knew that it must have been so much more miserable. This little ball of warmth in her heart was not enough to eradicate all of the pain and suffering she had to go through, but it helped her pull out the deepest need to be listened to and understood. This had been what she didn’t know she needed but now that she had it, she couldn’t stand losing it.
‘What is the better thing that I deserve?’
‘Someone who would always choose you and fight for you.’
‘Does that person really exist?’
‘Of course. You’re talking to her.’
Kara’s fingers halted, and gingerly typed out the reply, which was also coming from her heart.
‘You’ll fight for me? Are you my hero?’
‘Why not? Just because I’m a bit shorter, doesn’t mean I can’t break kneecaps.’
‘I swear, you tiny people are so fierce.’
‘Well, gotta protect my giant.’
Kara knew Lena didn’t mean my giant in a possessive flirty way, but it still made her heart do backflips all the way to Rao. How could Lena be climbing through Kara’s walls and then leaving soulful bombs like this? So unfair.
‘Finally, you admit that you’re a midget.’
I love you.
‘My tiny little midget hero.’
I love you.
‘Who breaks kneecaps.’
‘Who breaks kneecaps.’
I love you so much.
‘And I have this.’
Lena sent a photo and Kara had to laugh. It was clearly Lena’s hand, holding a butcher knife, shining under the white light. She had even carefully angled the blade so that it would reflect the light onto the camera.
‘You’re cute when you get violent like this.’
‘Well, I’m a girl who can do both. Violently cute.’
There was no exact moment where Kara felt better instantly, but Lena slowly brought her mood up just by being herself. It was such a blessing to have someone like Lena by her side, though so far away. At the moment, it didn’t hurt so bad that her feelings for Lena would never be reciprocated. Inside her, there was only the flickering warmth of genuine care and consideration that she didn’t usually get from the people around her.
I don’t know how I found you but don’t leave me.
Please don’t push me away.
Please be my safe haven.
Please let me stay by your side as long as I can.