You were in the middle of changing the laundry when the phone rang. That loud, piercing shrill of your landline was exactly what you needed today — not.
It had been a day full of errands and balancing. From dropping your daughter off at school to dealing with the grueling lines at the bank to the idiocy of some grocery shoppers… it had been a day before the clock even struck noon.
Laundry was the next (and by far the worst) chore on your to-do list and usually Carol took the lead doing it but being far off in god-knows-where, you took it on this week. You really just wanted to get through it but of course the phone had to ring.
You threw the basket of clothes back to the ground and brushed your hands on your jeans as you made your way to the living room. The phone sat on the end table, still ringing with annoying joy.
"Hello?" You asked.
"Hi!" A cherry voice greeted you, dragging out the word a bit too long. "Is this Ms. [Y/L/N]?"
"This is," You confirmed. "May I ask who’s calling?"
"Oh, good. Hello!" You rolled your eyes at the nervously cheery voice. "This is Ms. Karla, Abby’s teacher."
You eyebrows raised surprise, "Oh, of course. Hello, Ms. Karla. Is everything okay?"
"Well…" Ms. Karla began and your heart dropped. All your worst imaginable fears as a mom came rushing through your brain. "Abby is okay but I’m afraid a classmate she was playing with today is not."
"I’m sorry, I don’t understand."
While you were relieved your daughter was alive… what the hell did she do to another kid? Every serial killer documentary you’ve ever watched was now making its way to the front of your brain. Was this going to be one of the "early signs" they always talked about? How much harm had she really done? Maybe she said something? Maybe she pushed a kid off the swing? God, how would you explain to your wife-
"Abby pulled another girl’s hair today," Ms. Karla explained.
Oh. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. That… that didn’t seem like much, right? Was that the first sign of a murderer in the making? You didn’t think so… but why did this warrant a call?
"Oh, that’s not very nice," You said, not knowing quite what else there could be said. It sounded like harmless play got a little out of hand. "I’m sorry she did that, but is that what this call is about?"
It was in the later half of lunch (you tried not to be such a hands-on mom but you couldn’t help it — you knew your child’s schedule) which meant this teacher felt compelled to call about this during her lunch break. It wasn’t adding up.
"I was actually hoping to set up a little meeting with you and your wife today after school to discuss Abby’s behavior," the kindergarten teacher explained. "Some other altercations have been brought to our attention."
Oh, shit. Your brain was back at it with the accusations and wonders. Gosh, you just wished Carol was here. She could calm any fears in the blink of an eye and of course your brain loved to spiral when she was away.
"Oh — alright," you agreed, trying to get your mind back on track. "I can stop in then."
"Wonderful, thank you. See you then," Ms. Karla signed off and all you were left with was a nervous brain and dial tone.
Worried was an understatement for your current mood and you contemplated texting your wife for something — you didn’t really know what. Comfort? Help? No, you were a grown woman who could take care of your child and her antics when Carol was away. You had promised that. She’s gone on missions before so it wasn’t that unfamiliar, but Abby had never had any problems before. She was getting older and maybe this was part of her development… No, you shook your head, this wasn’t a sign of something evil. But could it be? You let out a groan at your own brain and stared at the laundry room door. It could wait until tomorrow. You were preoccupied.
***
You arrived at the school in the late afternoon, right on time as always. Maybe you did hover a bit much.
You were greeted by your joyful daughter squealing and throwing herself into your arms.
"Mommy!" Abby yelled. She always seemed so excited to come home and Carol thought it was something more but you brushed it off. You hated school, too, as a kid, so… like mother, like daughter. "Is Momma home today?"
You sighed, looking down at that bright, hopeful face. Brushing some of her strangely hair out of her eyes, you said, "Not yet, honey, you know that."
The face falling got you every time, but what else could you say? The days following Carol departures were always filled with Abby asking the same question. No matter how much you tried to drill it in her, she was holding onto something.
"Yeah," she nodded. So short and abrupt, but what else were you to expect from a kindergartener? "Ms. Karla said she has to talk to you."
Your daughter’s voice didn’t even waver. Maybe she was innocent? Or she could be a really, really good liar? Maybe even a sociopath? Gosh, you brain needed to shut up. She simply may just not know the impact her actions have. It’s fine, you told yourself, she’s young and silly stuff happens.
"She does, honey," You nodded and took her hand. "I shouldn’t keep her waiting."
Abby paid no interest in your confirmation and just happily trotted back into the school with you now by her side. She escorted you to her classroom, a bit excited for you to see it.
You two were greeted by Ms. Karla pretty much waiting at the door. She was a young one who seemed way too excited and hopeful for teaching. Her hair was in a playful brunette bob and her dress was a collage of bright colors. She just exuded positivity.
Carol got quite the kick out of her when you two went for the parents orientation at the school last summer. She was used to bright-eyed, eccentric new agents but this… this had been a whole new level. You wished Carol could see her now just as shiny as ever. You made a note to mention it on the phone later because oh, yes — this meeting was gonna be reported back to her no matter what the outcome was.
"Ms. [Y/L/N], hello!" The teacher greeted you with a handshake. "Will Ms. Danvers be joining us?"
You shook your head, "She’s out of town right now."
Ms. Karla nodded with disapproving hum. You turned your attention back to Abby and asked, "Abby, could you wait at your desk while mommy and Ms. Karla talk? Maybe draw a picture we could put on the fridge?"
Abby’s eyes lit up and happily agreed, grabbing her bag on her way to her marked table. Once she was settled, you turned back to the teacher.
"Please, have a seat," Ms. Karla said, motioning towards the plastic chair positioned in front of her desk. You sat gently on the edge, as if you’d need to jump up in defense. Ms. Karla simply went around and sat at her desk, definitely not matching your worry. If she picked up on it, she didn’t show it.
"So, Abby’s behavior…"
"Yes! Well," Ms. Karla cleared her throat and adjusted her seating position. She opened a yellow folder, skimming through the pages. "While Abigail is quite an enthusiastic child, she seems to be having an issue with getting along with others. The hair pulling incident today was apparently not the first, according to some of her classmates. "There’s been pushing, yelling, biting-,"
"Biting?!"
"Minor instance. Not a legitimate bite," She assured you, but you weren’t totally at ease. "She can be a bit loud during class time, but it just seems really when it comes to others, she falters."
"Well, what do we do about it?" You asked, rubbing your hands together nervously. Your eyes shot from the paper to the teacher, back and forth. "Is she suspended? Expelled?"
Ms. Karla shook her head, "No, Ms. [Y/L/N]. We just want to make sure you are aware of what’s been going on and catch it while we can. We really recommend she see someone."
You shifted in the ridiculously staticky, plastic chair, "See someone?"
"Yes, a professional," Ms. Karla nodded her head. Oh, a psychologist, you realized. You turned around and watched your daughter scribbling on some paper, happily perched at her desk. She certainly didn’t look like a bully in this case — crap, that’s what she was, you thought. A bully. You sighed, turning back to the teacher.
"I can talk to her. See if she’ll tell me anything," You assured her. Psychologist seemed like a stretch to you, so you figured you could start simple. Maybe Carol would be better at talking to her when she got back? No, this couldn’t wait. She still had a week to go on her mission and you couldn’t bare to get anymore phone calls from the school.
"Wonderful," said Ms. Karla, giving you one of her blinding, radiant smile. How the kids managed it, you’ll never know. "Please know we don’t mean any harm. We just would like to catch this while we can. Thank you very much for taking time to see me."
You mumbled an "of course" and called for Abby. The kindergartener happily skipped out of the school, totally oblivious to any problems. She must’ve thought her actions were reasonable. She wasn’t even breaking a sweat from a parent-teacher conference. You let out a worry sigh and followed her to the car.
***
You were about halfway home when you decided to break the silence in the car. Abby was staring out the window all carefree in wonder.
Peaking at her in the rearview mirror, you said, "So, what did you draw when me and Ms. Karla were speaking?"
Abby whipped her head to look at the front seat. Your eyes met in the mirror.
"I drew us. You, me, and momma. I made momma fly in it."
You chuckled, "Momma’s flying in the picture?"
Abby nodded, "Yeah, like she can sometimes."
"I see," You said, making a turn at an intersection. Silence came back into the car as your daughter’s interest in the outdoors peaked again.
You thought you were going to make it home without another comment, until a tiny voice asked, "Is momma gonna come home?"
Eyebrows raised in surprise, you glanced at your daughter in the mirror again. She was still looking outside but her demeanor has gone timid.
"What?" You gave an awkward chuckle. "Of course momma is gonna come home — why do you ask?"
Abby shrugged, "She’s always gone. Does she even live with us anymore?"
You nearly drove into the other lane at that question. You were so caught off guard by the shyness, the insecurity, within the questions. She had never asked anything like this — hell, she never even showed being effected by Carol’s absence… unless…
"Honey, of course. Momma just… Momma has a funny job she has to go away for," You explained and turned into the car into your driveway. Turning it off, you unbuckled and faced Abby in the backseat.
"I just wanna make sure she’s coming back," Abby mumbled.
"Sweetie," You sighed, grabbing her little hand. "Is that what this is all about? The picking on kids? Is it because momma’s gone?"
She shrugged but that was the only confirmation you needed. It broke your heart, really, and you knew it was just going to tear up Carol. You thought you two had raised a more vocal child, a child that trusts you guys with everything, but she was young and emotions were weird. You imagined the uncertainty and anger just bubbling in her… feeling left out, alone maybe, and it wrecked you.
"Abigail," you said. Her little sad eyes finally met yours. "Momma didn’t leave us. Momma would never, ever leave us, okay? She just sometimes has to go places for work but she always comes home, right?"
The booster seat-bound child gave a nod, still looking a bit gloomy.
"How about we video chat her tonight, hmm? Would that help?"
Abby’s face lit up at the suggestion. You two couldn’t always speak to Carol when she was off. You were even lucky to get in phone calls, but you knew if you explained the situation she wouldn’t hesitate to find even just a moment to speak to her favorite girls.
***
You shot Carol a quick text explaining the circumstances and desperate need to see her. You crossed your fingers she actually could actually receive the message. Your phone calls were typically planned out prior to her departure but you just knew she could make one exception. Carol always tried to get Abby in on the phone calls but you didn’t think the girl felt any connection with it. Sure, it was her momma’s voice wishing her a good night, but there wasn’t that face with it. It was a lot for a child and you wish you had known better.
Carol responded during dinner, confirming she was available tonight to video chat. When you told Abby the news, the little rascal scarfed down her food, ready to wait by the computer, which made you simultaneously panic and laugh. The joys of motherhood.
You sat on the couch, your laptop carefully positioned on your lap. Your daughter was practically draped over your arm in anticipation. When the familiar Skype ringtone came through the speakers, she let out a squeak of excitement. You chuckled, answering the video call request.
"Momma!" Abby practically screamed your ear off when Carol’s smiling yet tired face appeared on the screen. She gave a wave which you two returned.
"Hi, pumpkin," said Carol. "How are my lovely girls?"
"I miss you, momma." Abby’s excitement was replaced with the familiar gloominess you saw in the car. You threw your arm over her shoulders, cuddling her in comfort. She wouldn’t take her eyes off her momma.
Carol frowned, "I miss you, too, pumpkin. You know, mommy told me you aren’t being very nice at school. What’s going on, honey?"
It was Abby’s turned to frown, you noticed as you looked at her, waiting for her explanation. You told Carol a brief synopsis of the situation figuring you two could go deeper into it once Abby was in bed. You didn’t expect her to bring it up so quickly, but she was never one to beat around the bush.
"I don’t mean to," your daughter mumbled. "Sometimes others talk about their parents and I feel bad."
You heard a slight sniffle and pulled Abby closer to you. You felt relieved with the honesty. You knew getting Carol on the phone was probably gonna be the trick and your suspicions were checked out. She sometimes just felt more comfortable, even closer, and that was okay. They had a bond. Overall, you were just very thankful she was starting to open up a little bit more (it was very useful information the teacher didn’t even relay back) and you two appreciated the insight.
"Well," Carol sighed. Even her eyes told you she felt a lot from this. "You can’t hurt other kids because of it, okay? They don’t know what’s wrong and it’s not fair to them. It’s not their fault, honey."
"Whose fault is it then?"
You and Carol stared at one another, both at a loss of words. It was anyone’s fault, truthfully. You both had your career paths and while yours took you to an office, Carol’s took her across the world. It was just an unfortunate circumstance.
"Mine, pumpkin," said Carol, still looking at you.
"Carol-,"
"It’s me, honey," She repeated and shifter her focus back to Abby. "I should’ve figured something out before you came into our lives. It’s my fault. But I can fix it, I’ll get home to the both of you."
Abby gave a cheer while your heart broke at your wife’s confession. Before you two actively seeked options, you had discussed plans for a child. Carol wanted nothing more to move to office work — maybe even retire — but live came at you fast and she never went through with it. You thought she just secretly didn’t want to give up her status, her responsibilities, and you assured her you could hold down the fort. Neither of you, however, saw these consequences.
"It’s getting late," Carol broke the silence as you tried finding your words. "You should get to bed, Abby."
As if on cue, Abby let out a yawn. After a long, enthusiastic goodbye full of air kisses and inside jokes, Abby ran off to her room. You promised to be in later to tuck her in and then you turned back to your wife.
"Babe, you don’t have to fix anything," You assured her. Carol’s tired, watery eyes met you.
"But I do, honey. Did you see her? Hear what’s going on? Why let it continue when we can stop it? You know I wanted to retire anyways."
You nodded, "I know, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to give up anything. We can work through it. Maybe it’ll take more video chats or calls-,"
"You know, I fell in love with your optimism," said Carol, abruptly cutting you off. You gave a chuckle.
"Yeah, if only you could’ve seen me today," You laughed, recalling your spiraling mind. "I was convinced we were raising a serial killer."
Carol let out the loudest laugh, filling your heart with so much warmth and love. Gosh, you missed her a ton, but just a couple of days and she’d be back in your arms, running around with your kindergartener.
"I don’t think we’re raising a serial killer, honey," Carol chuckled. "I think we’re raising a pretty neat kid. She’s going to be alright. We’ll laugh about this one day."
You rolled your eyes playfully, "You better be right."
She smirked. "Aren’t I always?"