Chapter 14
Matt could hear it in the half-formed sobs that echoed around the space. He could feel it in the way her shoulders were tensed when he put an arm around her to guide her stumbling footsteps. He could smell it in the blood that swilled in her mouth from the cut she had made inside her cheek as she bit down nervously. She was miserable, frightened and desperate. She had landed in an alley behind him, using the cover to retract her wings before she stumbled out towards him. They must have looked a right sight – a blind man guiding a crying teen, who shivered violently with every step. The holes cut into her hoodie for her wings left her exposed, so Matt was quick to shrug off his own jacket and drape it over her shoulders. The chattering of her teeth still echoed around the pair, the only other sound besides Ashley's soft cries and the crunching of snow beneath their feet.
The walk to Hell's Kitchen was a long one. Ashley pulled Matt's large coat around her tightly and tried to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. The pair were silent – Ashley’s voice was caught in her throat and Matt couldn’t find words to say. He was more focused on getting the girl under his arm somewhere warm. Once the pair made it to his flat, Matt was quick to turn the heating up high and get the kettle boiling. While he busied himself in the kitchen, Ashley stood frozen by the door, not really knowing what to do with herself.
She felt as though she was intruding and had half a mind to walk back out the door, but she knew Matt would be angry with her if she did that. Matt walked back over to her a moment later, a mug of hot chocolate in his hand – she noted the sachets on the counter beside the jar of coffee were the same that Karen had in the office the other day. She didn’t think that Matt was much of a hot chocolate drinker, so she supposed he had bought those for when Karen or Claire were visiting (although the latter rarely visited for anything other than sewing the vigilante back together). He pressed the mug into her hand and guided her to sit on the sofa. For the most part, she was more lucid to take in her surroundings than the last time she was on that sofa – bleeding out and in agony.
Ashley sipped her hot chocolate and waited patiently for Matt to start shouting, but the raised voice never came. He sat down beside her, resting a calloused hand on her shoulder. Matt noted in his head that she was still shivering slightly underneath the weight of his coat, which she had yet to take off. “I had a call tonight...” he started, voice unnervingly calm. “Someone spotted a pair of black wings high above Manhattan. I knew if that idiot could see them, there’s no telling who else could.”
“Idiot? I guess that means Iron Fist is in on it too then. I suppose Luke is as well? The Punisher? How many people have you dragged into this, Matt?” It was Ashley's turn to get angry. “Did you think to ask me at all? If these people get hurt, then it's on me!”
“You're-”
“I swear to God, if you say I’m just a kid I will fly out of here right now!” Ashley seethed. She placed the mug down with slightly more force than necessary, the sound echoing in the otherwise quiet space, and stood up, walking towards the window. “I know this is shit and these people need to be stopped, but they haven’t targeted anyone else. We don’t even know for sure if they’re responsible for the mutant disappearances. I can’t let anyone get hurt because of me, Matt.”
“And I can't let you get hurt!” Matt's tone was pointed, but he still didn’t shout.
Ashley turned to look at him. Matt had taken off his glasses and Ashley's gaze was drawn to his downcast eyes. He might be blind, but those eyes were so expressive, and Matt was being eaten up by guilt and shame.
“Why?” she asked, her voice cracking. “Why do you care?”
Matt's eyes lifted and if Ashley didn’t know better, she would have said he was staring at her, gaze fixing on her eyes. “Because you’re amazing, kid. You’re a better person than I am- you’re kind, selfless and incredibly smart and I wish I had tried harder to get you to stay home all those months ago.”
“It wouldn’t have worked.” Ashley shook her head and turned back to stare at the bright sign out the window. “I spoke to Spider-Man – he found me after you called. He actually made some good points. If I didn’t go out there, if I ‘stayed home' it would be both the biggest regret and the biggest mistake of my life. The selfish part of me is glad that I met you and Karen and Foggy, even though you all could be in danger because of me now. If anything happens, then that’s on me.”
“The more help we have on this, the more chance we have of stopping them.”
“The more people involved also means a higher chance of casualties,” Ashley countered.
Matt sighed. “You're right. I should have told you what I was doing and I didn’t. I went behind your back and for that I’m sorry... but I don’t regret what I did and I would do it again. I just want you safe and I’m not the only one who wants that. Anyone I got involved, I gave them an option. They could help, or they could walk away, no consequences. No-one turned me down.”
“I don’t get why... I’ve never even met some of them. You won’t let me near Deadpool or The Punisher. I’ve never met Luke and I’ve only met Iron Fist once and Jessica two, maybe three times?”
Matt smiled at that, his signature bashful smile when he gets a compliment from someone, head tilted to the side. “You’ve made me a better person and apparently that kind of thing shows. You might not have been in the public eye until recently, but you still have a reputation. They all know if the tables were turned and they were the ones in need of help, you wouldn’t turn them down, not even Deadpool – although, he's probably just in it for fun at this point.”
Ashley simply nodded once, not having anything else to say in response. Instead she chose to change the subject, branching out to something that had been bothering her all day.
“Why didn't you answer your phone today?”
At least Matt had the decency to look ashamed in response. “I was helping Jessica take care of her problem. I.. wasn’t going to tell you.”
“Asshole.” The word was harsh, but it didn’t have the same bite to it that their earlier conversation did. In fact, the hint of a smile tugged at Ashley's lips, because Matt was sitting there looking like a damn kicked puppy. She sat down beside Matt when he extended out an arm and he tucked her into his side.
“Finish your hot chocolate.” He gestured to the coffee table in front of him, where the mug still sat, half empty. “Then I think it's bed time. I’ll take the sofa. You can take the bed.”
Ashley shook her head. “No way. I can't take your bed. I should probably go home anyway.”
“It's late,” Matt countered. “I'd rather you stayed here tonight. Especially as I get the feeling no-one at home is bothered that you're not there.” There was a scowl on Matt's face as he stood up, leading Ashley to the bedroom. He pulled out some flannel pyjama bottoms and an old Columbia University hoodie out of his drawers and placed them on the bed. “You might find these comfier and warmer to sleep in.” Matt pulled out his own pyjamas and retreated towards the lounge, stopping briefly by the door. “If you need anything, just let me know.” He then pulled the door closed and settled on the sofa for the night with an old blanket.
Ashley was left in the dark in Matt's room. It seemed at some point the light bulb had blown and Matt saw no reason to replace it. Ashley tried to summon her energy to create a ball of lavender light, but she struggled to even produce a flicker. Instead, she was met by a headache that had her curling up on the bed, unable to move or even think. The pain was blinding and was accompanied by a high-pitched ringing in her ears that shut out all other noise. The only notice she had that Matt had come back into the room was the firm hand curled around her shoulder.
“Ash... Ashley... wrong?” The words were fragmented to her ears, but the meaning was clear.
“H-Headache,” she whispered. She wasn’t even sure the words came out. They felt like cotton balls in her mouth and her tongue was weighing her down, too heavy to lift properly.
Her body was lifted rather effortlessly from the silk sheets as she was manoeuvred into Matt's arms. Her back rested against Matt's front as his hands came up to massage soft circles into her temples. The pressure that was building in her skull seemed to dissipate fairly quickly with the touch, but it still left her with a dull ache.
“S-Sorry,” she stuttered. Her voice still felt foreign as she tried to sound out words. It felt as though her throat and mouth had swollen up, as though she had been stung by a wasp. “T-Tried to use... p-powers. T-Tired...”
“It's okay.” Matt reassured, but Ashley could hear the worry in his tone easily. “Has this ever happened before?”
Ashley shook her head gently. “H-Haven't been sl-sleeping much.”
Matt sighed deeply, brow creasing with his concerns. “I might have something that will help.” He reached over to the drawer in the bedside cabinet, where a variety of pills were kept that he had stocked up on. For the most part, they were pain killers, but the bottle he was looking for in particular was at the very back of the drawer. He opened the bottle and emptied two of the yellow capsules into his hand and waited for Ashley to take them. “They'll help you sleep.”
“This is a bad idea,” Ashley remarked, but swallowed the two pills regardless. She was just too tired and she wanted nothing more than to sleep. Matt helped tuck her in under the covers and stayed with her as she slowly fell asleep. Before long, the conversation between them fell into drug induced ramblings. Matt was telling her funny stories about Karen and Foggy when the drugs started to take effect.
“... so while he was half asleep, Foggy ended up chugging a mug full of instant coffee granules because Karen hadn’t boiled the kettle yet.”
“Karen's coffee probably still tasted worse... S'no good,” she slurred.
Matt chuckled, a wide grin spreading on his face. It was the first real smile he felt since all of this started. “And what would you know? You’re too young to be drinking coffee.”
“... was tired and seemed like a good idea at the time,” she mumbled, eyes fluttering closed. “was locked in the cupboard all night so hadn’t slept much.”
And just like that, the smile disintegrated. It was as if someone had snapped their fingers and took away any chance of happiness and innocence. The words rang in his head. ‘Locked in the cupboard all night'. Before he could question her words, Ashley had fallen asleep, her breaths falling into soft, steady snores. Matt stayed there for a few minutes, just listening to the sound, letting it wash over his nerves, which were pretty fried at this point. Sometimes it was good to just stop and indulge in the smallest details.
It wasn't until his phone started ringing (“Stark... Stark... Stark...”) that Matt moved. He quickly moved back into the lounge to answer it, hoping he hadn’t disturbed Ashley. He answered the phone and held it up to his ear, not bothering to verbally answer before his caller started talking.
“Murdock, any chance you know where my intern is?” Tony's voice was snappy, and Matt could tell that was only because he was genuinely worried about the girl currently asleep in his bed. But Matt wasn't about to succumb to Tony's tactics – Tony was looking for Matt to confirm Ashley's identity. Sure, Stark had clearly figured it out and thus earned the genius title he gave himself, but he had no actual proof and Ashley clearly hadn’t told him.
“For the last time Stark, I don’t know your intern.” There was a huff on the other end of the line.
“Fine, be coy all you want, but I know. So, let me rephrase: Where is our feathery friend?”
“Safe,” Matt replied shortly.
“So, she’s with you?” Matt didn’t acknowledge him either way, which resulted in another huff from Tony Stark. “I know what happened to the little P.I. today. You don’t think it was a bit obvious stationing her outside the school all week?”
“Pegasus isn’t the only one whose safety I’m worried about.” Matt stated, trying to put some of the attention on Spider-Man instead of Ashley.
“Except, she's the only one until today who has been directly threatened by them. And we all know the reason Jones got hit was because she was there guarding her on your orders!” As Tony spoke, the volume of his voice continued to rise. “She's probably only still alive because running her mouth seemed to work in her favour.”
Matt scowled as Tony ranted down the phone at him. “I didn’t order anyone to do anything. She volunteered.” Matt couldn’t stop the snarl in his voice as he spoke. “We are trying to lure them into the open, which is why Jessica and Luke are on ‘recon.’”
“Ah yes, I had noticed your other little buddy hanging around my tower a lot. So, you’re planning to use a couple of vigilantes and a child to lure out a gang of terrorists?”
“And what have the Avengers been doing all this time? Because it's been a week and I haven’t heard a peep out of you or Barnes and Rogers.”
“Well, we certainly haven’t been offering children up as bait,” Tony seethed. “Capsicle and his boyfriends are looking into some leads. We think there might be some connection with some old Hydra bases that have been reactivated recently. I can’t tell you any more than that Murdock – you know the rules.”
There was a long beat of silence, neither man knowing what to say. They both had a common goal – someone they had to protect. But not even for that – for her – could they put their differences aside and work together. Tony and Matt were from two very separate worlds.
“We both have people we want safe…” Matt started. “We’re both trying to do what we think is best to keep them safe. Just… let me know if your guys find anything.”
Tony sighed deeply. “Is Miss Jones okay?” The question sounded strained, as if Tony were trying to convey that he didn’t care, when in reality, he really did. He was starting to get scared now, especially seeing as these people had managed to get a couple of hits on a powerful vigilante.
“She’s tough, and she’s had a lot worse. It was nothing some ice and a bottle of whiskey couldn’t solve.” Matt couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “She’ll be back in the ring, as it were, tomorrow I expect.” Tony simply grunted in reply and ended the call.
***
For the first time in over a week, Ashley slept through the whole night, so at least the slightly sketchy pills Matt had in his bedside drawer did what they were supposed to. When she woke Saturday morning, she felt sluggish to begin with, like she was still asleep. She was convinced she was dreaming about waking up in Matt’s apartment. It took a moment for her to untangle herself from the silk sheets and get a bearing on her surroundings. The curtains were drawn over the windows, so it was still dark enough that she struggled to see. She absently rubbed her hands on her thighs, which made her realise that she was no longer wearing the tattered black jeans she normally wore whilst out patrolling. Instead, she was dressed in a pair of green flannel pyjama bottoms and a grey hoodie that had Columbia University plastered across it.
After a few minutes of mindless stumbling around, she found the door to Matt’s bedroom and opened it. She had to squint her eyes at the sudden influx of light – it was clearly a sunny day in Hell’s Kitchen today, which was only made brighter by the layers of snow coating the surrounding rooftops and the streets below. She could distantly hear the sounds of a kettle hissing as it boiled from the kitchenette and the buzzing of the fridge light, as the door had been left open while Matt was pottering about.
“Morning,” he greeted, far too cheerfully in Ashley’s opinion. She blinked a few times and staggered over to the sofa, collapsing on top of it in a heap. The blanket that Matt had covered himself with overnight was now grasped in her arms as Ashley wrapped herself up in it tightly.
“What time’s’it?” The familiar feeling of cotton wool in her mouth made it difficult to get the words out. Matt just chuckled in response.
“Last time I checked, it had just gone ten and that was about fifteen minutes ago.”
Ashley closed her eyes, shielding herself from the bright light streaming through the tall windows that lined one side of Matt’s apartment. She could already feel another headache coming on, so she decided to tune into her other senses – something that was easy to do around Matt. She could pinpoint each footstep as Matt walked over to the fridge, depositing a carton and then closing the door. There was the distinct smell of coffee in the air and Ashley wasn’t convinced all of it was the fresh mug Matt was just making now. He’d probably already had a couple of mugs earlier this morning. Matt’s footsteps echoed once again, growing louder and louder, which meant he was walking over to her. Sure enough, a moment later there was a dip in the sofa at the other end, signalling that Matt had sat beside her. Ashley noticed two soft thuds on the coffee table – he had placed down a glass and a mug. The sound of the glass clinking was louder and was accompanied by a tangy smell – Matt had brought her a glass of orange juice.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, before cracking her eyes open slightly to pick up the glass without knocking it over.
“How you feeling this morning?” Matt asked, taking a long sip of his coffee.
“Mmm,” Ashley groaned slightly. “Head’s fuzzy… Too bright in here.”
“Maybe the sleeping pills were a bit overkill.” As Ashley looked at Matt, she noticed he didn’t look nor sound the least bit remorseful. In fact, his face had what she could only describe as the biggest shit-eating grin she had ever seen. “Get that juice down you. We’re going out for breakfast this morning.”
Ashley groaned quietly in response but nevertheless downed the glass in a few large gulps. It was by no-means a cure all for the pounding headache, but it certainly went a ways to help alleviate the dull thumping that seemed to bounce around her skull. Shortly after, Matt goaded her towards his bathroom, leaving a fresh towel, Ashley’s jeans and one of his t-shirts for her to wear on the radiator to change into after a warm shower.
Matt’s shower wasn’t as nice as the one at Avenger’s Tower, that was a sure fact, but it was still a welcome relief for Ashley. The water was warm and while the spray wasn’t as powerful as the shower she had at the tower the weekend before, it was still refreshing. She sighed deeply as the grime and dirt was washed off her body, the water and Matt’s coconut shampoo massaging the tangles out of her long hair. Her hair would soon touch the base of her spine, so Ashley made a quick mental note to ‘borrow’ some scissors from the stationary cupboard at school because it was unmanageable in its current condition.
After half an hour, Ashley was dressed in her jeans, a black, sleeveless tee of Matt’s which dropped passed her thighs and the Columbia hoodie, which absolutely swamped her. Matt was dressed in a white shirt, trousers, black leather jacket and a grey scarf around his neck. Apparently Matt’s idea of casual dress for the weekend was to forego the tie. He already had his shoes on and was standing by the door ready to go when Ashley emerged from the bathroom, hair tied up in a long pony tail that was tucked down inside the hoodie. She quickly toed on her tattered black sneakers and joined Matt at the door, holding out her arm for him. Ashley knew he didn’t need her to guide him through the streets, but it helped keep up the pretence with his stick in one hand and his other resting on his companion’s arm. Afterall, no-one would suspect the blind man who needed help walking down the street to be one of New York’s best crime-fighters.
Ashley could already feel her feet getting wet inside her shoes after the first few steps into the snow outside. It was a good couple of inches high and was soaking into the hem of her jeans. Her fabric sneakers didn’t stand a chance. They were falling apart anyway, with large holes where the sole was coming away from the fabric. She tried not to grimace too much as Matt led her through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, which was once more bustling with Christmas shoppers. Ashley’s gaze wandered to the families that were gathered on the streets – Mothers and Fathers buying roasted chestnuts and candy canes from street vendors to share with their children, who were planning what gifts they could get for their families and friends, and food they should have on the table that Christmas. Ashley’s heart ached. Her parents had taken her brother Lucas out the last few Christmas’s and he would come back each time with extra candy canes he had stuffed in his pocket for his big sister, who couldn’t come with them because she had to make sure the house was clean and the dinner was cooked ready for when they arrived home.
Matt had started recounting a story of something Karen had done earlier in the office that week, which he found rather amusing. He was about half-way through the tale of how Karen was trying (and failing) to set up a new braille printer that she had ordered from eBay for Matt, when he noticed Ashley’s attention was no longer on him. She hadn’t reacted to anything he had said in the last few minutes. Just to make sure, he decided to throw in a shocking lie.
“So, Karen ended up throwing the printer out of the window and it crashed on Foggy and broke his leg.”
“Hmm…” was the reply he received. Yeah, she hadn’t been listening.
“Ash…” Matt spoke, raising the volume of his voice. That seemed to do it, as a moment later he felt Ashley falter in her footsteps next to him.
“Huh? What?”
“You okay? I just told you Karen broke Foggy’s leg and you didn’t react.”
Ashley let out a strangled screech at Matt’s words. “WHAT?”
Matt chuckled. “It’s not true, but that proves your attention is clearly elsewhere. Something on your mind?”
Ashely shook her head. She didn’t feel the need to elaborate on that, because Matt could probably tell she had just done that. The pair stayed silent the rest of the journey, but Matt decided to listen carefully to the conversations on the streets around them. Families were gathered and children were laughing and screaming joyously at the prospect of presents and chocolates and ‘SANTA!’ Debates were held over chicken or beef on the dining table? And should we put a star or a fairy on the top of the tree? It was all very domestic and ordinary. He found himself wondering what sort of Christmas Ashley was accustomed to, but he couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t the kind of domestic bliss echoing around them.
Matt led Ashley to their office. The door swung open without Matt needing to unlock the door, which meant someone else was already here – Karen and Foggy she supposed. They climbed upstairs and sure enough, the pair were gathered around Karen’s desk.
“I didn’t think you two were going to show up before McDonald’s stopped serving breakfast,” Foggy remarked, gesturing to the greasy paper bags scattered on the desk, much to Karen’s dismay. Matt hung up his coat and stick in the corner as Foggy swept Ashley up in a tight hug. “I’m not sure Matt’s hoodie is a great look,” he scoffed as he took in her appearance.
“So, can someone tell me why we’re in the office on a Saturday at eleven in the morning with enough McDonald’s to feed a small army?” Ashley asked as Foggy handed her a chocolate milkshake.
“Research!” Karen declared loudly, a wide grin on her face as she tucked into a breakfast bagel. At the declaration, Ashley’s eyes fell down to the desk in front of them – beside all the McDonald’s were a stack of folders with Foggy’s recognisable scrawl on them: Karito, Hydra, Missing Mutants.