Chapter 10
Percy
Everything was ready.
The cold water bucket above Steve's door, the red dye in Tony's shampoo, the colorful dresses instead of the usual black battle gear on Natasha's closet, Bruce's locked laboratory and Clint's new mini bows replacing his normal ones.
Then why the Hades was Percy in the bathroom, staring blankly at the wall and wishing he had been the one to die instead of his friends?
He was supposed to be a teenager, happy and carefree. But no, he was traumatized and just generally fucked up. He had gone to war, twice. He had led those wars. He had driven his friends to their deaths.
He had also gone through hell. It was even worse for him because at least half of the monsters there had also something personal against him.
What he was feeling rivaled the misery he felt while he was in the Cocytus. It rivaled the misery he felt radiating off Akhlys. It even rivaled the misery he felt when Annabeth received the curse from an Arai and couldn't find him.
Had he done something to the Fates? He couldn't remember doing anything to upset them. Yet there he was, remembering the painful and tragic ways in which his young friends had died. In front of him. For him. Most, in his birthday.
Why? Just why?
A tear rolled down his cheek.
The past deaths mixed with the new fake ones. He had trouble remembering that it had just been Tartarus messing with his head. Even if it was that way, the blood was clear in his eyelids every time he dared close his eyes.
He twirled Riptide in pen form in his hand. Would it be enough punishment to be hurt by his own sword? Maybe doing to himself everything he should have done to those who threatened or ended his friend's lives could be enough to mitigate the guilt.
Percy uncapped Riptide.
He suddenly dropped it, a hand flying to cover his mouth as the actions he was just about to perform were processed. Did he really think of...? No, he couldn't have. No.
The sword clattered reaching the floor. Percy stared at it, horrified. He couldn't believe he had had those thoughts... And he still did. He still believed he deserved it in some twisted way. But he couldn't do it, he was a leader, he was supposed to be strong, he shouldn't let those kinds of thoughts take over. He wouldn't.
He looked up from the floor as Riptide disappeared and he felt the familiar light weight back in his pocket. Now it had a whole new meaning: strength. He had to keep that dark part of his mind at bay because, even if he tried to, the sword wouldn't leave him. It was meant to be a powerful weapon, but not against himself. The fact that it always came back to him was just a reminder that, if it did, it was for his enemy's doom and not for his own.
.ψψψ.
"Who is he?" came a voice from the doorway of Percy's room. Bruce.
"This is Nico. Nico, this is Bruce." Percy introduced them. He made sure to not say Nico's surname so the Avengers didn't look him up and find out he's out of time.
"Right... So, why is he here? How did he even come in?"
"He's here because I invited him over. I need to talk to him, which I can't do unless you leave. Sorry to be rude but I really need to tell him something," Percy said.
"I'll leave if you tell me how he got in. We can't have security breaches, can we?" Bruce replied.
" You don't need to worry about it. For now, I can't tell you exactly how he got in so you'll just have to trust me."
"Fine, but you'll have to tell me soon about it," Bruce said and then left. Percy assumed he thought it'd be better to spend his time actually looking for the problem in security instead of trying to take information from him, which was impossible.
"Nico," Percy said as soon as the door closed while he turned towards his cousin.
"What did you need me he-" Nico was interrupted. By a hug. A tight one, too.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. And thank you. Thank you so fucking much, Nico," he said in the hug. When Nico heard his broken voice, he awkwardly hugged back. He cared about Percy, he was his closest friend after all and the one person who understood him, but he wasn’t so fond of physical contact.
"What for? Percy, you have nothing to be sorry or thankful about." The arms around Nico's little body tightened as Percy heard those words. He lifted his head from the spot on the younger's (or oldest) neck, where his head has been resting, and looked at the son of Hades straight to the eye.
"Don't you dare say that ever again. Clear?"
"Yeah, but may I ask why?"
"Why? Are you really asking why?" Percy said with disbelief. He switched to Greek. "Nico! I let your sister die! I couldn't keep you safe of Minos after that! And then you had to save me during the war. For the gods’ sake, Nico, you were 12! And I'm sorry that you had to go through that place alone. I'm sorry that you were locked on that jar. I'm sorry that you nearly faded in the shadows. I'm sorry." Percy's eyes glazed over, letting one silent tear drop before he looked away, his eyes too full of guilt and pain to show it to anyone.
Nico
When Nico heard what Percy said, his heart ached. That feeling couldn't even be compared to what he felt when he saw Percy cry. Gods, he had never seen him cry. Styx, no one had ever seen him cry. This was serious. Nico then held the son of Poseidon close, trying to comfort him.
"Bianca's death wasn't your fault, she decided to sacrifice herself for all that were part of the quest. You promised me to do the best you could to keep her safe, but you couldn't do anything against her decisions. It was her will to die that way, she was happy that it was saving others, and she doesn't blame you. Neither do I, clear?" He only felt the crying form in his arms shake. "I said: clear?" This time, Percy nodded. "Now, escaping was my immature decision, you didn't even have a chance to stop me so don't feel guilty. And feeling sorry that I helped you? Percy, gods... Just don't. I protected you because I cared, and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Everything else you said wasn't your fault. Stop feeling guilty about it. Please."
"If I can't say sorry then at least let me thank you," Percy said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you for saving me countless times. Thank you for giving me the key to end Kronos and the war. Thank you for saving me during the war. Thank you for the brave a stupid act of jumping there by yourself for everyone's sake. Thank you for leading the seven to the Doors of Death. Thank you for helping both camps even if they never helped you back. Thank you for stopping the civil war and almost sacrificing yourself in the process. Thank you for being a hero. Thank you for seeing me as a person too, and not only a leader."
'Does he really think all that about me?' Nico thought. He had never looked at it that way. It seemed... admirable. He hugged Percy tighter.
"Percy, I may be a hero, but you are one too. Don't underappreciate yourself. You prevented World War III at age 12; saved Thalia, Grover, Clarisse and thousands of satyr's lives by retrieving the Golden Fleece; held the weight of the fucking sky to save Artemis and Annabeth, saved me from Minos in the fucking Labyrinth and saved hundreds of demigods by finding the path that led the enemy to Camp Half-Blood; bathed in the fucking river Styx for a completely selfless cause; led the demigods and hunters in the Titan War; made a decision that saved Olympus; almost sacrificed yourself freeing Death; helped the fifth legion and saved hundreds of Roman demigods in the battle with Polybotes; and a bunch of other stuff that I can't be bothered to say. The list is long, too long. You can't call me a hero and then underappreciate yourself. Look at this, for example. I'm letting you hug me, and I'm even hugging you back! You must be doing something right." Percy was crying harder now.
"Thank you. Thank you. But never ever again imply that you aren't as much as a hero as I am. I'll even consider myself one if you do too." the tears were from happiness.
"Consider it done." and they hugged for a while. Maybe it was minutes, maybe it was hours, none of them was sure. Then Nico got awkward and stepped back. He would help Percy whenever he needed him but he still hated physical contact.
"I've got a 'son of Hades' reputation to hold," he said and the green-eyed boy chuckled.
"Again, thank you," Percy said and smiled. Seeing him smile genuinely after this episode made Nico strangely happy. Not that he was complaining.
"Now, are you going to show me around or are we just going to stay sitting here? My ADHD self won't enjoy the latter, that's for sure," Nico said.
"Oh, I gotta show you the gym."
Percy
They headed towards their destination, by the stairs of course, and found there a certain blonde super soldier next to the punching bags.
"Who's that?" Nico asked him. That seemed to alert Steve of their presence and he turned around. Nico suddenly paled.
"He's... He's Captain America? Shouldn't be better dead by now? Unless dad... Unless he's also... No, he can't be."
"I'm sorry, what? I know I should be dead but everyone knows I was conserved on ice. Based on the fact that you're with Percy, I'm guessing you are friends. He didn't know who I was... How did you?" Steve said, suddenly confused and frowning. "I mean, how did you know who I was without knowing I'm still alive?"
"It's complicated... But first introductions. Steve, this is Nico. Nico, this is Steve, but I guess you already knew that," Percy said.
"It's a pleasure. Thank you for your service at the war," Nico said.
"Oh, don't thank me only. All the Avengers helped," Steve replied.
"I'm sorry, the who?"
"Wait, what war are you talking about?"
"World War II, of course. Have you been involved in any other war?" Nico asked and Steve's eyebrows shot up to the sky. He didn't ask anything about that anyway.
"Never mind. Either way, I wasn't the only soldier out there, lots of people fought and lost their lives. You don't need to thank me," Steve said, then he turned so he was facing Percy. "Care to explain, Percy?" The alluded sighed.
"Depends. I need to know something first. What does a promise mean to you?"
"Something sacred that must never be broken," he replied without missing a beat.
"Promise you won't say a word of what I'm about to tell you and then I'll explain," the son of Poseidon said and the soldier promised. He signaled him to come closer and whispered in his ear. "He's one of the people out of time I told you guys about. Don't freak out, I only know like two. But what I'm trying to say is that he's from your time. He knew you because of the war but he knows nothing about you being stuck on ice or about the Avengers. And, before you ask, his father kept him for seventy years on a hotel where time went by differently. For him, it was only a couple of months. If you want to talk about difficulty adjusting or anything relating the 1930's, he's your man."