At some point Peter decided to disappoint his 8 year old self. He had once made that stupid kiddie promise to himself
“Oh , i promise ill never do drugs, i wont drink, smoke...”
But promise are meant to be broken
right?
He knew he shouldn’t do this. But sometimes his edges are bleeding and he cant find a way to fix it.
Peter hates drugs, he really does
But he keeps messing up and it feels kind of good.
He had it under control, but when he got used the amount of heroine he injected into his body it only makes sense to add more. And when two bottles of Jack Daniels still didn’t make the voice in his head shut up he added another bottle.
And maybe stuffing his face with copious amounts of food isn’t healthy, but he sticks his fingers down his throat and his mistakes come back up and lays its self in a bowl.
He doesn’t want it, but sex feels good and it makes him forget everything in a bliss lust filled headspace.
And yeah, parties are so loud in his head and he feels his skin crawl every time the beat drops, but that’s nothing a simple white pill can fix.
And the cutting hurts, but the blood is mesmerizing and he feels like the scars he inflicts on himself makes his pain valid.
And he’s falling, collapsing.
Peter doesn’t remember a moment where he felt anymore weaker than this . Bloodied wrists, shattering teeth and pupils blown wide. It’s the low after a bliss high . What was once a mixed fury of firey copper red is now a silent bone chilling night.
He once before flew so high he almost forgot about a ground below . But he slashed his wings off , feeling weightless for a fleeting second, and fell a mighty height down , only to crash in waves of red anguish .
He looks at the mess he made , regret pools distantly in the back of his throat . But he swallows it down , leaving a burning after taste . He feels so weak , as he lost another battle , but he can’t help but feel that he won as he felt almost as light as ever and felt a pang of happiness for even just a second.
But blood is now covering his hands and he’s cold.
And he’s fading away
Oh god