Let's Not Be Friends
A/N: Well would you look at that? I’m alive! I know I haven’t posted in a hot minute but uni has been hectic and is kicking my ass already. I promise that nothing has been abandoned, I will get round to your requests and Girl and a Sinner. Only Plans and Persistence has been dropped because I’m developing that into a novel.
What does heartbreak feel like? It feels like a hole has been ripped through your chest and your friends are the bandages trying to hold it together but the friction only makes it hurt more. It feels like the lurch in your throat when the boat sways too freely. It’s the nausea that never leaves. It’s the anger, red and buzzing, but you’re only angry at yourself for feeling so broken. It’s not going out of bed, not because you’re sad but because you know that people will see the cracks of your heart littered all over your body and laugh at you for not being good enough. It’s true that wounds heal, but they also leave scars. And this particular scar was the most beautiful of them all.
“I'm sorry about May the other night. She doesn't drink often but wine goes to her head pretty quickly.”
It was dusk. You and Peter had been studying in the library all day and now he was walking you back to your dorm, despite it being barely even five minutes away. You kept telling him that he had some kind of hero complex, but you didn’t really mind.
“Which part are you sorry about? The penis thing or the fact that your aunt is way cooler than you?” You asked with a small smirk.
Peter grinned and tugged on your arm so that you fell into step in front of him and his arms came around your waist, lifting you off the ground slightly.
“Okay I'm sorry! You’re very cool. The coolest friend I have.”
“I don’t want to be friends anymore.” Peter blurted.
He set you back on the ground and you slowly spun round to face him, expecting to see a playful grin but he looked completely serious, if not a little nervous.
Your heart free fell. Had you not just been having fun? Maybe sometimes you spoke a little too much and told too many dad jokes but you didn't think you were that bad of a friend. How could he be so willing to throw everything away just like that? You thought there was a spark of something, but reality had already blown it out before you had the chance to make a wish.
“Oh…okay.”
You could barely hear your own voice, but apparently you had whispered loud enough because you noticed Peter’s shoulders slump in relief.
If Peter truly wanted nothing to do with you, then you weren’t going to fight. That was what love really meant. You would do anything to make that person happy. It had been an honour just to know Peter Parker in the first place. And not many people could say they’d had their heart broken by him.
Peter was getting ready for his big confession, taking a shaky breath as he shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Oh…okay.”
Wait, what? His shoulders slumped along with his heart. He hadn’t finished and you’d just agreed to not be friends. How the hell could you throw all of that away? He thought for sure that you had returned his feelings. And you were just willing to part ways and never speak again? His jokes weren’t that awful, were they?
“That’s all you’re going to say?” He narrowed his eyes and scoffed. “Right. Well, I think it's pretty clear how things should go now. You’ve made your decision.”
You turned away from him. Actually turned away as if you couldn't look at him! was this a game? He knew he could be naive at times but surely he would have sensed it?
“Clearly we have. Let’s not be friends.” You mumbled and headed inside without even turning back. You were a heartbreaker and you didn’t even know it.
“Good.” Peter huffed.
“Fine.” You grumbled and pushed past him to head inside.
Not being friends with Peter was just as hard as you imagined it to be. For starters, you were still taken aback by how quickly he had turned against you, and angry enough that you refused to let him see that your heart lay in pieces, still in the palm of his hand. The main issue, though, was that even if the campus was around 54 acres, you had the misfortune of running into Peter everywhere you went.
It was all just getting too much, which was what led to the pair of you enlisting the help of Ned and Wanda to keep the pair of you away from each other.
“So here’s the plan,” Peter began, “Ned and I are taking almost all the same classes, as are Wanda and Y/N.” He paused to look at you then tore his eyes away. “So between classes, Ned and Wanda will keep in contact and warn each other of the other’s location ar all times. Ned and I will go to the union bar on lip-sync battle nights, while the girls get karaoke night. And we’ll swap over each month.” He finished and looked around the library study room to make sure everybody understood the agreement the two of you had come to.
It had been your first conversation in over two weeks.
Wanda glanced at you in concern. “This is what both of you want? Isolation isn’t easy to come back from.”
Ned, too, looked uncomfortable with the plan. “Are you sure this isn’t just some kind of misunderstanding? This isn’t a thing where you say you don’t wanna be friends because you wanna be more than that but they other person didn’t get the message?”
Peter clenched his jaw. “No, Ned. This is what we want.”
You wanted to grab the keyboard and chuck it at his head. This was the furthest from what you wanted with Peter, but it was obvious now that he didn’t feel the same.
“Okay. This is it.” Ned looked over to you uncertainly.
You supposed the plan didn’t really leave much room for you to hang out with him either.
That’s what heartbreak was like. You lost more than one person. The people you had used to shelter your heart were now memories through blurred glass. It was putting on a facade so that nobody could see that you were wasting away in your own hopelessness.
Heartbreak was all that remained of your time with Peter Parker.