Adagio

Bucky Barnes got cold and tired very easily. In middle school, Steve always kept an extra sweatshirt with him in case Bucky got cold (which was very often). In high school, Bucky would never go to any of the football games because he would get too cold. In hindsight, he was probably just trying to protect himself from the other boys. In both high school and middle school, Bucky always went to bed at early morning hours. He had a cell phone addiction, so he’d spend hours at night scrolling through social media and playing mobile games. It led to constant yawning and under eye circles. Now, stuck in Sam’s old SUV, Bucky was both cold and tired. It wasn’t helpful to Steve, who was trying to remain alert for his dad’s arrival. If Bucky fell asleep, Steve would likely follow suit. 

“There might be, like, a blanket in the back seat,” Steve suggested, glancing over at his freezing friend. Minnesota wasn’t a particularly warm place, but especially in the summer. And Bucky was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Bucky was physically shivering, so Steve felt a little quilty. This whole trip had been his idea in the first place, and this car was his responsibility.

“I thought you wanted me to stay awake so you can stay awake,” Bucky said.

“I want you to be awake, not cold,” Steve defended. “Don’t you have your yellow sheets in the back? Or better yet, that pink blanket you crocheted forever ago.”

“I do, but I don’t really know where it is,” Bucky said.

“I’ll find it for you,” Steve offered.

They had packed the car full of stuff from Bucky’s house, and nothing was labeled. Steve had to get out of his seat and climb into the back in order to search. Of course, Bucky was the most disorganized person ever, so he’d never label or coordinate boxes, even if he were moving a ton of stuff. After digging through three boxes, Steve finally found the pink blanket. It was a simple stitch, but the yarn wasn’t cheap, so it had held up well over the years. It was surprisingly soft. Steve climbed back into his seat and draped the blanket around Bucky, tucking it in around his shoulders slightly.

Bucky smiled at him. “Thanks, Steve.”

Something about the smile and use of his name made Steve’s stomach flip. Bucky had always had such a beautiful smile. It fit in with the rest of his face. And something about the way he said Steve’s name was just exquisite. The more time he spent with Bucky, the more time he wanted to spend with him. He was easy to talk to and look at.

Within five minutes under the blanket, Bucky was no longer shivering. But he also looked way too close to falling asleep. 

“Buck, you don’t have to stay awake too much longer. Dad will be here soon, then you can sleep on the way home,” Steve stated.

Steve had called Joseph to come with some jumper cables to help fix the car. He knew a lot more about cars than Steve and Bucky combined. But it wasn’t like he could be there immediately: he had to get home, eat something, find the jumper cables, and drive to their location. Steve was guessing it would take at least another forty five minutes before he would show up. It was sure to be a long night for everyone.

Bucky yawned. “I’m trying, I promise. It’s just been a long day. You know rehearsal wasn’t the best ever. And then we had to do some physical labor to move my things. And I’m just a tired guy, I tend to go to bed early.”

“I honestly cannot believe that,” Steve said. “Remember when we were kids and we’d have sleepovers and you’d want to go to bed sooooo late but I’d always fall asleep at, like, ten? Because you always were awake until, like, two thirty. Especially in high school. Your phone addiction kept you awake all night playing, like, Candy Crush and shit. And then you’d send me all these stupid videos that you thought were funny but would regret in the morning.”

“Oh my gosh, nooooo. Those videos haunt me. I can’t stand the humor I was so into in my teen years. That’s why I go to bed early now, I can’t stand what I’m like at night,” Bucky explained. 

Steve smiled and shook his head. “You’re so adorable.”

Considering the romantic and sexual tension between them, Steve knew that probably wasn’t the best comment. However, he did think it was true. So maybe it wasn’t a bad thing to say. But he could feel Bucky’s entire demeanor change. He suddenly felt vulnerable and open, which was very different from his usual closed-off self. Steve could feel both of them moving closer together.

“I’d call you adorable as well, but I don’t think that’s the best descriptor for you,” Bucky said. 

It was true, Steve definitely wasn’t a cute guy. Well, depending on what kind of cute. Definitely not cute personality wise. In the sense of being attractive, however… He didn’t want to call himself hot, but a lot of people had definitely said it for him. It wasn’t like he had a big ego, but he did know his worth.

“Well you’re adorable for sure,” Steve said. “I mean, and a lot of other things. Like hot. And more. But I’m not going to list everything good about you, it would take too long.”

Adorable had been Steve’s go to word for Bucky during their… thing. It was a great description for Bucky: he was physically cute and had a cute personality. His crocheted blanket and ballet was proof of it. Oh, and his laugh. There was an indescribable attractiveness to it. Something about Bucky just drew Steve in. He was so sweet and interesting and intelligent and beautiful. Steve would probably describe him as perfect. 

“You know, I could say the same about you,” Bucky said.

Steve smirked. “Yeah?’

Bucky nodded. “Oh, for sure.”

Steve’s eyes drifted down from Bucky’s eyes to his mouth, where his tongue was wetting his lips. God, he was so perfect. He was absolutely gorgeous, and Steve just knew his lips were still as soft as they were in high school. Well, he didn’t know. But he did want to find out.

His theory was correct.

When Steve walked into his house at three thirty in the morning, Sam was sitting awake on their couch, doing something on his phone. Considering he was someone who’d normally be asleep before eleven, this was very abnormal.

“Hey, why are you still up?” Steve asked, draping his coat over a dining room chair.

“I've been waiting for you,” Sam stated.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t have to do that. I told you we’d be home around this time,” Steve said.

“Yeah, but I wanted to make sure you guys actually got home okay. In case something else were to happen with the car. I would’ve had to come get you or something like that. It was just a better bet to wait for you,” Sam explained.

“Well I’m sorry you had to stay up,” Steve apologized. “Hopefully you don’t have to be at work early tomorrow. Also because your car probably needs to get fixed before you can actually go do things.”

Sam joked, “So does that mean I get to take your car since you’re the one who broke mine?”

“Genuinely, you can take my car, Sam. I’ll get Bucky to bring me to and from work,” Steve offered. 

Sam shook his head. “I wouldn’t take your car, I can figure it out.”

Sam was a really nice guy, and he always had been. When Steve first got his job, it was Sam’s idea that they live together to save money. And Sam had paid over half their bills for quite a while until Steve made enough money to pay his share. That was a pretty big deal considering Sam was living off of a relatively small salary. He was one of Steve’s only friends who hadn’t been there when everything happened with Bucky, which was a big part of why they had stayed friends.

Steve sat down next to Sam on the couch, but still kept a decent distance between them. He knew Sam was tired, so he didn’t want to infringe on his personal space. He wanted to tell him what had happened, but he wasn’t sure if he’d approve.

“Sam?” Steve asked, bouncing his knee up and down.

“Hmm?” Sam responded.

“I have to tell you something,” Steve announced.

“Well I could tell that much. Just say it,” Sam ordered.

“I kissed Bucky. Or maybe he kissed me. I don’t know,” Steve said, the face of his bouncing increasing.

The room went silent. Maybe telling him was the wrong choice. Back when Steve and Bucky had started dating, absolutely no one knew. Sam found out when everyone else did, and it definitely hurt him. Sam was Steve’s best friend, aside from Bucky. Besides, Bucky and Steve were on very bad terms until recently. Sam would surely see that as a red flag.

“Why did you kiss him?” Sam questioned.

Steve blushed a little and shrugged. That was not the question he was expecting. “I dunno, because I wanted to, I guess. I still really like him. He’s a good guy. And he’s attractive, of course.”

“He’s also the only long-term boyfriend you’ve ever had, Steve. Not to mention that you dated during high school,” Sam stated. “So do you actually like him or do you just want a relationship?”

That was an interesting thought. Steve had always assumed that he’d just never gotten over Bucky, but maybe he’d never gotten over the idea of Bucky. Sam was right, he was the only real boyfriend he’d ever had. But how could he figure out his true feelings? He could either date Bucky or date someone else, which both had the potential to hurt Bucky. Steve wasn’t quite sure if he was in love with him or the idea of him, but he knew he’d never purposely hurt Bucky.

“I haven’t thought about that. I guess I need to do more thinking about that. But  do know he wants to date me, so there’s that. And I definitely think he’s hot and fun to be around, so I think I wanna date him. And it was a good relationship when we dated in high school,” Steve said.

“Well I recommend you figure that all out before you go any further,” Sam said.

Sam got a ride from a co-worker the next day, so Steve didn’t have to ask Bucky for a ride or drive Sam out of his way. Though he wouldn’t admit it, Steve was hoping Bucky would give him a ride so they could spend more time together. They could have listened to that throwback playlist again. At least they had Bucky’s apartment to decorate, which would take at least two sessions of hanging out. That was an event where they could definitely listen to music. Because he wanted to see Bucky, Steve came into work a little early the next day. He was going to go see Bucky in his dressing room, and hopefully kiss him again. 

“Good morning,” Steve said, walking into Bucky’s dressing room.

Bucky was standing at the barre on the edge of his room, warming up. Steve loved watching it. Especially when he extended into his arabesque, something about it was so beautiful to him. He was also drinking a smoothie. At the same time.

“Hey,” Bucky said, not looking up from his spot on the wall or dropping his arabesque.

“Did you get enough sleep last night?” Steve asked. “We got home pretty late. I know you slept a little in the car, but definitely not enough to satisfy the need.”

“Yep,” Bucky responded quickly.

“I’m sorry, am I bothering you? I can go,” Steve said. “I kinda forgot that you had to warm up and stuff and that I’d probably just distract from that. I should probably go warm up, anyways.”

“If you want,” Bucky said. He was still looking at the wall, never having so much as glanced in Steve’s direction.

This was not normal Bucky behavior. Bucky was always kind and outgoing, not snappy and shut off. Steve’s first thought was that something bad had happened. Like his mom getting sick or something similar. Then he realized that he would’ve heard by now if something bad happened to Bucky’s parents, either from Bucky himself or his parents. The only other thing he could think of was that he was simply tired. There wasn’t enough time for either of them to get a good night’s sleep.

“Wait, did I do something wrong?” Steve asked. He didn’t like the vibes Bucky was giving off.

Bucky sighed and turned so both his hands were on the barre, making him face the wall so that Steve wasn’t even in his peripheral vision. “Not really, no. I’m just tired and warming up,” Bucky said.

“Can I do something to help?”

“I mean, you could leave.”

“Something other than that.”

“Leave and throw away my smoothie cup?”

“Something that doesn’t involve leaving?

“They all involve leaving.”

Steve wasn’t going to fight Bucky, it wouldn’t help anything. He’d just talk to him after rehearsal, he’d probably be more awake and receptive by then. Although he still wouldn’t have much sleep and his muscles would be tired out. But, from experience, physical activity tended to make Bucky more energized. He decided to be a nice guy and take Bucky’s smoothie cup to throw away. It would make him more likely to be warm towards Steve later on in the day. 

Steve lingered and watched Bucky warm up for a moment before walking out. He was absolutely perfect. His legs were so toned, and Steve just loved it. His entire body was ideal. In a way, Steve was jealous. He knew he was a decent looking guy, but he felt like nothing compared to Bucky. Bucky was just perfect. 

That was how he knew he was supposed to be with Bucky.