Peter was half asleep, curled into Tony’s side as they watched Stranger Things, Tony’s arm around his shoulder, his hand running though his curls. The small boy yawned and shifted, resting his head on the genius’s chest.
“You comfy, tesoro?” Tony murmured.
“Mmhmmm.”
The man pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, ruffling his hair. “Just checking, baby.”
There was a comfortable silence, then suddenly- “Boss, Captain Rogers is requesting to speak to you. He claims it is an emergency.”
The pair jolted up like they had been shocked. “Put him through, FRI,” Tony ordered.
“Tony, you need to get here now!”
“Cap-”
“It’s Hydra. They’re targeting the compound, we need backup. Now, Tony.” There was a shout cut off in the background and the sound of Steve’s shield whipping through the air.
“Cap- Steve, I can’t, Peter’s here, he’s with me.”
I have to protect him.
“Tony, we need you now.” There was an urgency in his voice. Tony hesitated.
“Pete-”
“It’s okay, Mr. Stark, I got this-”
“What- no, Peter, no, no-”
“I’m Spider-man, Mr. Stark!”
“Yes, Petey, but this is Hydra. You’re staying right here. It’s too dangerous.”
And I can’t lose you.
“Mr. -”
“No. You’re staying here, in the safe room.”
“But-”
“No, Peter. I’ll be fine, I promise.”
It’s you I’m worried about.
Tony rushed Peter to his safe room; sound proof, heat proof, almost unbreakable, protected. Where Peter would be protected. “Okay, miele. You’ve gotta stay in here the entire time. Don’t leave until I get back, okay?”
“Fine, Mr. Stark.” He sounded annoyed and but mostly worried.
“Hey,” Tony whispered. “It’s okay, baby, I’ll be fine. I’ll come back here and I promise I will come get you as soon as I can, okay? I promise. Just stay safe.”
“Okay, Mr. Stark.” The boy’s eyes were watery.
Tony leaned in and squeezed him in a tight hug, kissing his curls firmly. “I love you so, so much, Peter.”
“I love you too, Mr. Stark.”
~~~~~
The fight was treacherous. Hydra agents swarmed from everywhere, surrounding the compound.
Tony wore the latest Iron Man suit (the one with the glitter helmet Peter convinced him to wear). Rhodey greeted with a salute and a “Hey, Tones. Glad you finally decided to show up,” before Nat ordered them to shut up.
Tony took the West side of the compound with Rhodey, Nat and Clint, where the agents seemed to be causing the most racket. Nat chose to be the master of stealth once again and pounced on unsuspecting intruders. Clint, of course, was skillfully shooting them from his vantage point on top of the compound. Tony and Rhodey blasted them with their repulsors and kept each other’s six.
“Nice shot!” Iron Man shouted as he took down several agents at once.
“On your left!” Rhodey replied.
After a long half hour of fighting, in which Tony’s suit malfunctioned and began playing “Happy Birthday” until he could shut it off, the Hydra agents were either dead, injured, or contained by SHIELD Agents, who had showed up five minutes before without Starbucks.
“Bit late, aren’t you, Eyepatch,” Tony grumbled as he landed next to the man.
“My sincere apologies, Stark. I was helping out the agents who attacked your motherfucking tower.”
“W-what?” Tony whispered, confused and beginning to feel a sense of dread.
“Hydra attacked your tower, too, Stark. They got in somehow, actually. You should check your security.”
They got in. They got in. They got in his fucking tower. Where Peter was Peter was there Peter was still there in the tower Peter got attacked.
Tony felt the blood drain from his face, and before he knew it, he was in the air, flying full speed to the penthouse. Because Peter was there.
He had to be okay. Because Tony needed Peter.
~~~~~
Finally, finally Tony arrived at the penthouse, cracking the floor as he landed, then sprinting as fast as he could to find Peter, shouting his name. “PETER! Peter, kiddo, where are you?! PETER!”
“Peter, please, where are you?!”
“Peter-” He stopped short, standing in the kitchen.
No.
No.
No!
NONONONONONONONO
PETER!
“PETER!”
He fell to his knees, shouting his name, kneeling next to the tiny body. Frantically, he turned to boy over, pulling him onto his lap and cradling him against his chest.
Blood blood blood there was so much blood his eyes were closed he looked so pale Peter Peter wake up
“Peter?” he whispered, voice trembling. “Peter?” His hands shook as he felt for a pulse. Pressing down firmly, he felt… nothing. Nothing. He pressed harder on his neck, praying for a heart beat.
None.
“FRIDAY- r-run vitals.”
“No pulse detected.”
“Again.”
“No pulse-”
“Again!”
“Boss, I’m sorry. He’s gone.”
Gone? That didn’t make sense. Peter wasn’t gone. He was right there. He was fine. Tony just had to wake him up.
“Hey Petey,” he mumbled. “Wanna wake up for me? I-I know you can do it. P-please, baby. Come on, Pete. Wake up. For- for me? Please!”
Nononono this wasn’t happening this isn’t happening he was too pale there was so much blood too much blood why wasn’t he waking up he needed to wake up
“Peter. Peter. Wake up goddammit!! Wake up!!”
He could still save him he knew CPR he could still save him
Thirty compressions. Two rescue breaths. Keep him alive make him come back
Come back to him
“Fuck, Peter, come on!” he screamed as he lay the small boy on his back and knelt over him. “Come back, fucking come back!!”
Thirty compressions. Two rescue breaths.
Bring him back
“Come on Peter, come on!!” he cried, pumping Peter’s small chest rapidly. “Fucking come on!!”
Thirty compressions.
“Wake up Peter!”
Two rescue breaths.
“Come back! Come back now.”
This was all his fault he made Peter stay here it was his fault
Peter’s ribs caved in under his hands. To his horror, he felt one crack.
He had to apologize so much when Peter woke up
It was after ten anguished minutes that Tony sat back in shock.
Peter still wasn’t waking up.
And then he began screaming.
“NONONONONOWAKEUPWAKEUP PETER YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE I NEED HIM GIVE HIM BACK GIVE HIM BACK PETER WAKE UP RIGHT NOW WAKE UP I NEED HIM I NEED HIM PLEASE ANYONE BUT HIM PLEASE ANYONE ANYONE NOT PETER NOT PETER NOT HIM PLEASE GIVE HIM BACK NOW GIVE HIM BACK!!!!”
Eventually the man the man just screamed, hugging Peter’s limp, tiny body tightly, cradled against his chest like a baby. Just screaming screaming screaming.
Screaming
Sobbing
Begging
Peter wake up
Please
Why didn’t he wake up
~~~~~~
FRIDAY had alerted Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy of Tony’s distress, and they rushed to the penthouse, only to find him cradling his dead child, rocking back and forth on the wall, staring straight ahead with broken and dull unseeing eyes.
“No,” Pepper whispered. “No.”
“Tones,” Rhodey murmured. “Oh, no.”
Happy said nothing. Just stared in shock.
Slowly, Rhodes approached the stricken man, kneeling down, trying to make eye contact and desperately not looking at Peter.
“Jesus,” he muttered. “Tony, oh god.”
Finally Peter’s dad looked up. He didn’t even look like he recognized him. “I told him I’d come back. I promised. I came back. Why isn’t he waking up? Why won’t he wake up? Peter-”
Rhodey felt nauseous as Tony gently kissed Peter’s cold, pale cheek.
“Peter, wake up. You can wake up now, it’s okay. Please…. Rhodey, why won’t he wake up?”
“Tones… Oh Tony, he’s- he’s not going to wake up, man. He’s gone. I’m sorry. He’s gone.”
“Stop lying, stop lying. He’s right here,” Tony whispered dully, “Look, he’s fine. He’s not gone. He’s right here. I just have to wake him up.”
“Tony-”
“He’s fine.” Tony adjusted the little body in his arms, hugging him tightly. “Isn’t that right, munchkin? You’re just fine.”
Rhodey couldn’t take it anymore. He threw up all over, heaving and crying.
~~~~~
Tony wouldn’t let go of Peter. He just kept saying that he had to wake him up. He sat on the floor, holding his baby close, sometimes talking softly to Peter, sometimes singing soft Italian lullabies in a cracked voice, other times bargaining with Peter to wake himself up. “I’m so sorry, Petey, I was such a dumbass. But it’s- it’s okay now, kiddo, you can come back. I’m right here. I’ll wait however long it takes.”
Once Rhodey tried to pull the dead boy from his arms, and Tony snarled, saying, “It’s my job to protect him. You can’t. You can’t do it. It’s my job,” and hugging Peter tighter.
Finally Rhodey realized that he needed to use different measures. And god, it hurt him so much, so fucking much to do it, but he had to.
Kneeling next to the empty shell of what once his happy (ever since Peter came along), bright, genius best friend, he said, “Hey, Tones. I- I know how to wake Peter up.”
Nausea rolled through him at the manic hope in the man’s eyes.
“Really? You do? Did you hear that, Petey, Rhodey knows how to wake you up!” he cried maniacally.
“Yeah, I- I do, Tones. But I have to- I have to take him away. For it to work.”
Oh god, I’m so sorry, Tony.
“Take him away?” Tony frowned. Rhodey was disgusted at himself for praying that Tony agreed. “You can wake him up? Bring him back?” Rhodey nodded.
“Okay… baby, did you hear that? Rhodey has to take you away to get you back, but I promise I’ll be right there when he does. Okay? Just one thing- I love you so so much, Peter. Never forget.”
He squeezed the boy’s body one last time, but not before peppering kisses all over his face. Finally, he nodded at Rhodey, who hesitated, then took Peter out of Tony’s willing arms. Tony, who believed with all his heart and soul that he could fix this.
“Bring back my kid,” he muttered, cracking a broken, haunted smile.
“Oh Tony,” Rhodey whispered. I’m sorry, Tones.
~~~~~
Tony was furious when Rhodey didn’t bring his son’s body back. His broken mind thought it was a stupid game.
Rhodey tried to explain, over and over, that Peter was gone, he wasn’t coming back, but Tony didn’t believe that, couldn’t believe that.
He demanded Rhodey bring Peter to him. “You said you’d fix him! You promised! Where is he?!”
“He’s gone. He’s gone, Tony.”
Gone? Peter couldn’t be gone.
Because that meant no more sleepy cuddles
No more laughter
No more carrying an asleep Peter to bed
No more marathoning Star Wars movies
No more baking cookies
No more happiness
No more tesoro
No more bambino
No more Peter
And a world without Peter wasn’t a world at all
~~~~~
Tony’s grief-addled mind alternated between screaming his loss for hours (oftentimes having to be sedated), and thinking that Peter was still there, still alive, still bright and shining, thinking they were hiding his baby from him.
“Rhodey, where’s Peter, where’s Peter? When can I see Peter?!”
“I need him, Rhodey, give him back! Rhodey! Why are you hiding him from me? This isn’t funny! Give him back to me! PETER!”
~~~~~
Five days later, days full of grief and anguish and screaming, they lost Tony, too.
The official cause of the man’s death was heart failure.
But those close to him knew the truth. Because in this world, Peter and Tony belonged together, father and son. And without Peter, Tony would die.
So he did.
There was no point of living in a world without his baby