Chapter 39
As Odin asked Loki to introduce himself again, Loki sighed.
“ I am Loki,son of none, born Loptr, son of Lofey. Adopted by Frigga, late queen of Asgard and now concubine of Thor, king of Asgard.”
“ That covered everything, but why not mention me, your adoptive father?”
“ Because you are not my father. I understand that you hoped the truth spell to be activated as soon as the I omitted you, and honestly it would have turned red had I done it few years ago. I used to think you as my father then, even after you never loved me more than putting a show for people’s sake. I have finally accepted that you are not my father, you never were. You are enemy of my sire and my people, hoping anything from you will cause only disappointment.” He still remembers the day when Helblindi visited and claimed him as family. That was the day he had let go any feelings towards his supposed father. He felt mostly numb whenever Odin was mentioned. But anger bubbled in his chest as he saw allfather, who was looking at him like he was a bug under his feet, that needs to be crushed. Loki wished he could gorge the single blue eye from the face of this monster, but alas the old man was still Thor’s father. And even if Thor would allow him to do whatever, hell, the thunderer had tried to plotted Allfather’s death as a present for him… the people would not like it. Petricide was still a biggest sin in Aesir community and they were already navigating an incestuous relationship. So no, Odin has to live, for now!
“Tell me Loki, are you angry “, Odin asked.
“ Yes.” He answered in even lesser detail. Two can play the game and this is why Loki is called silvertongue. He knows where to hold his words.
“ And did you feel angry or jealous, that it was Thor who was to be king and not you?”
“ Yes. But the Anger was more for the recognition than the throne. I was jealous that you appreciated him more than me. That my father favoured my brother over me. That my father considered me weak, cunning or disposable or many negative traits that you have publicly condemned me for. But I did not know your limitations then, how could you choose me, a stolen child of enemy race over your own blood !”
“ There is no need for the reasoning about my actions. I don’t explain my actions, it’s you who is trying to prove yourself innocent.”
“ But you are. You have to prove your actions, or at least that the punishment was just and unbiased to defend yourself against the prosecution filed by your own son, the current king of Asgard. He is trying to prove me innocent. I could care less, if not for the child growing in me, fathered by your golden son.”
“ Again with the web of words I see.So you deny that when you found the truth of your parentage, you went crazy with rage?”
Loki thought for a moment and said. “No” everyone stared at the lights ,it stayed golden. Odin’s eye narrowed.
“ Trying to use negations to trap me, while accusing me of wordplay, old move Allfather! No, I don’t deny that I went crazy . But to what extent It’s not clear to me. You will have to ask that to an expert.”
“ So did you or did you not turn the bifrost on Jotunheim so as to destroy the whole world?”
“ Yes I did. In a fit of rage.”
“ Did you or did you not try to kill Thor in his exile?”
“I did.”
“ And then finally when the time to face these actions came, did you or did you not in a cowardly manner ,threw yourself out in the abyss from the bridge.” , Odin asked, almost screaming.
“ Objection my lords! These incidents have no relevance to the case. The judgement was made only for the attack on Midgard. The defendant is trying to prejudice the jury.” ,Thor boomed, stilling everyone.
“ Before deciding on objection, I would like to ask you both something.Why was Loki not held responsible for these actions “, Sif said eyes sparkling with something that could not be deciphered. She pointedly avoided Thor’s eyes and Looked at Odin, “ If he was held accountable for those actions, we would not have been in this situation,Allfather” he tone almost of reverence.Thor looked down to hide his smile. Loki looked up at the ceiling.
They all knew Allfather couldn’t address his tantrum , because it would uncover the truth of his blood… and if it was investigated throughly, he would have to face his past actions. Addressing Loki’s actions would give him chance to give reasons… to ask questions that were too uncomfortable. So Odin chose easy way and threw him in the dungeon first thing in the morning after he returned .
“ I understand my folley my lady, but I didn’t get chance to correct his ways.because by the time I woke from Odinsleep both my sons were at each other’s throats and I found them dangling from the edge of destroyed bridge.A single word of disappointment and Loki tried to kill himself. How an old parent should act?” He was no wisest of all for nothing .Thor scoffed, but Loki narrowed his eyes. It was clear that Odin did have some regrets about that fated day.
“ And when you finally got him back, as a prisoner why did you not add these charges to the list, may I ask?” Thor asked
“ You may not.” , Odin asserted. “My lady and my lords may I proceed with the questioning?” He asks the Jury.
“ You may Allfather.But the objection raised by king Thor is valid. You are not allowed to ask irrelevant questions and you are not allowed to paint a picture of Loki’s character in any way.” , N’jord answered.
“ very well my lord” Odin bowed. “ I will stick to the original charges and attack on Midgard “
“ So, Loki it is your defence that you were forced to attack the realm and were not in control of your actions, true?
“ No,I was coerced. I was stranded at unknown place without any help or means to get out. And my stay was not pleasant either. So I took the only option available and said yes to the offer. And about the control, I don’t know. Those memories are hazy in my mind. There are some patches of clarity, and yes I tried to safeguard some of my precious moments from the invasion of my mind but I don’t know if I was controlled fully or not.”
“ So, your defence of mind control is half hatched as you had some control over your mind.”
“ I don’t know how to conclude what happened with that. But yes you can say so.” Loki saw Thor moving nervously towards him.
“And you say that you attacked Midgard as it was only available option for you? Did you not jump in the abyss in an attempt to suicide? Then why choose life in such dire situation? You could have chosen death over such paltry means!”
“ Father!” Thor screamed, horrified. But Odin stared at Loki’s face, calm in front of his ever critical father.. no not-father. He has perfected the mask, long ago so Odin could not detect a twitch in his eyes. Thor, looking at the staring match fumbled to call,
“ objection, accusatory!”
“ Sustained!”, the jury from Jotunheim answered. Others being to disgusted to speak up.
“ No I will answer the question if permitted.” Loki said.
“ You are right, Odin Borson. I should have died. After all there was nothing here for me to return to, you made that clear on the bifrost. I knew that
life only owed misery to me, so I did. I did try to choose death. I tried to end it multiple times times, but failed every single time. The executioners, the torturers went overboard multiple times, and I did end up dead. But the titan, Thanos has some strange power over death, I don’t know how but I was brought back each time. So, yes when I say, accepting alliance and attacking Midgard was my only option, it is truth. You should have known when the light did not turn red.” , Loki whispered last part, gripping the rails of the stand. Odin stumbled backward, face paling.
Loki had died, multiple times and he was not given respite after that….
This was not what he was hoping for!