Chapter 22
� To say Helblindi was irritated was an understatement. He let his lips turn down in a frown, he could always blame his mood on hot weather. He had arrived at the meeting on time but king of Asgard was yet to grace them with his presence.He looked around as he entered the conference room, Odin was sitting in the highest chair , surrounded by his sleazy old advisors. There were some chairs left empty but no chair was larger enough for a Jotun to fit in.He looked Odin's face, who remained stoic.Oh, the intentional insults! Helblindi looked around, seeing the smug faces of his enimies. There was no mistake in this.They had not put a chair of appropriate size for visiting King. Helblindi carefully kept his bitterness away and smirked arrogantly as he shifted to much smaller size.He sat down on left side of the long table and looked around, taking in shockd expressions of Asgard's negotiators.Odin, of course kept his face blank. Thiazi and Thyrm ,Jotun advisory committee remained standing on both sides of their king. Shape shifting was a rare talent, even in Jotunheim. Helblindi and his siblings inherited the seidr from their bearer, Farabauti who was a fierce warrior as well as a skilled seidrmadr. Laufey was ridiculous in the art ,so he never used it. Asgard ,ever the ignorant and arrogant kingdom probably had no knowledge of jotun techniques.
Helblindi wondered about the rumour he had heard. They had so less to offer to spies with everything falling apart, that the only news reached Jotunheim was the rumours travelling across the Markets and lower parts of Aesir society. But a news was a news, so he kept his eyes open and found most baffling rumour of century. They said that Thor king had took his own brother as lover and before he could reel in disgust he was told that the brother was adopted and rumoured to be a jotun in disguise. The young king of Jotunheim had been curious to find more about this frost giant who was unfortunate enough to grow up in Asgard as Odinson and then was claimed by real Odinson.He wondered whose child Allfather can take home and raise as his own. He had yet to see the rumouerd brother of Aesir king.They only talked about thunderer in Jotunheim, everyone knew allfather had two sons but the details of second son were vague at the most. He had never thought much of it,but now he wondered if being frost giant was the reson Odin kept him in shadows?
As he was lost in the thought, The king of Asgard entered and sat exactly opposite to him. He smiled brightly and greeted Helblindi who bowed his head slightly. To Thors right there was a young man, with pale face and black hair, green eyes shining with a rare intelligence, he looked too beautiful to be Aesir brute. Helblindi understood why he was rumoured to be Jotun, from his pale complexion to thin built to his dark hair ,he had nothing in common with other aesirs. Helblindi frowned, feeling sympathy for the young man who avoided his gaze.Thor found him looking and introduced,
" This is my brother, Loki.He is advisor to me in diplomacy." Loki looked directly to the Jotun king and smiled enchantingly. Yet there was something else in that smile.Something sad that lost to him as soon as he thought its there. Odin made a displeased noise somewhere, and Helblindi turned to see him smoothing his face quickly in his regular uninterested stare. Loki avoided looking at head of the table, kept his gaze away, deliberately away from his adoptive father even long after introductions were made and Thor brought in large chairs for Jotun advisors. There was something he was missing, something open to see yet hidden.
Thor kept the conversation going on, much to his relief.He was happy to find Aesir king to be more approachable and genuine in his welcome than most of Aesir court including his companions, the famed lady Sif with warriors three. He knew his demand was not going to be taken easily, yet seeing the thunderer so changed and empathetic eased his nerves.
" Thank you for welcoming us, Thor king.its an honor to be here." , he said genuinely.
" Oh, its our pleasure to have you.We all wish to leave past in past and turn a new page with you as an ally and as a friend.", Thor said.Eyes shining with honesty.Oh, Bileistr would have loved him, he never liked the games I play for politics, for stability of the realm.Thor had a luxury of stable and flourishing realm, He must have someone to do the dirty work for him, maybe one of his companions or Odin himself was sly enough. So, being open and kind and honest was a luxury only king of Asgard could afford.
" I wonder how and why you managed to fit in that chair, though!" ,Thor asked with open expression of genuine curiosity.
" Ah. Your steward must have forgotten to bring different chairs in So I made myself comfortable. Shapeshifting comes naturally to me, I thought you know that." ,he stated last part with a pointed gaze towards Loki. Who seemed to understand his intention, and narrowed his eyes. Yet, his arrow in dark paid off.Thor , the foolish king gave him more than he had asked,
" I apologise my friend.I shall instruct the staff to see to your comfort. and you are right, Loki has always been shifting his forms so fluidly, it must be a Jotun thing" .It confirmed that the rumour was true.Odin all father had hidden a child of his enimy race in his own household. Now all that he needs to find out is Loki's true parentage. Loki was also a shapeshifter! It was such a rare talent, even for a frost giants that it baffled him. He pushed the thought aside, before the talk turned unpleasant.Because many councillors including Loki and Odin were looking from uncomfortable to displeased. He couldn't afford that.
So he directed the conversation towards his purpose of the visit.He narrated discerning condition of Jotunheim. How his home realm was falling apart since the bifrost was turned on them, by accident as They were told. He told them of how young men were lost in chaos, how some still live crippled for life.He told about starving children and their grieving dams. He told them they have finally lost hope long after their hope was taken away.He kept his eyes on their faces, searching for traces of guilt, regrets and sympathy even. He was pleading for mercy when Thor king spoke up.
" I am sorry for your loss, King Helblindi. We know tidings of our home have caused suffering in yours." , Helblindi noticed how his hand touched Loki's on table, almost imperceptible as he talked, " But I would not abandon a realm under my protection when you have come to Asgard for help. We shall send food, clothing , medical help and any help necessary to alleviate suffering of jotun people.Because, war may be fought between rulers, its innocent people that suffer from it."
" Your generosity is greatly appreciated, Thor king. But I am afraid Jotunheim is destroyed beyond repair. We have been dying far before the bifrost incident. In truth, many are thankful for the quick end in comparison to the painful life that had been dragging on.", gazing at their confused expression, he added, "See, my friends Jotunheim has been dying since our source of life was taken from us. My realm is slowly degenerating and my people are dying! Even if you provide temporary aid, we are not able to stand back on our feet.Not without our source of power. So, I ,Helblindi Laufeyson ,king of Jotunheim am asking you for the mercy of quick death for my people.We are too proud for any cowardly escape" He scanned the people ,many of them were understanding now muttering furiously between themselves. Odin looked about to burst with rage.. Yet Thor spoke calmly.
" No need to take such drastic steps my friend. There must be some kind of solution for your problems. Otherwise you would have met us in battle, if you were seeking death. Speak clearly and without any riddles, so that we can figure out what can be done."
" I thank you, Thor king.You see, as your two suns light and give energy to your realm, Jotun life depends on its source of energy. The way bifrost takes you to other realms, we also had our mode of communication. As all of your seidrmadrs and other magical beings draw your powers from core of Asgard,we used to depend on a source powerful enough to support all the life of Jotunheim. It was taken from us, by Allfather after he defeated Jotunheim in last war. We never healed from the loss, my realm has been degenerating since then." He looked around to see that every person was coming to the same understanding.
" Casket of ancient winters!" ,Thor realised.
" So, this is the reason you are here. Yoy wish to trick us and take the casket back. We have not forgotten about how you got out of hand and tried to subjugate midgard in your arrogance. How dare you come here and try to place the blame on my shoulders" , All father said, anger evident in his voice.
" I am not blaming anyone for anything.All I am saying is, in the absence of casket Jotunheim will not survive, race of frost giants will be extincted. "
" Good riddence!" said Bragi, " Did you think we will believe your lies so easily and hand you over the weapon to destruction of other realms ?"
" I understand you do not feel any love for my people ,but you must understand that casket of winters is not a weapon, its the source of our life and mode of our transport"
" If what you said is truth then why was King Laufey carrying the casket to midgard's battlefield", Tyr had no place in council yet here he was asking questions to other king.
" King Laufey used the casket to travel to midgard and carried it to ensure his journey back home.That does not mean he used it as weapon.He may have covered the land with ice with its help, but the actual battle must have been faught with swords and arrows.You can ask anyone who was present there" , he looked at Odin deliberately.
" And what shall we gain from this? why would we want to help monsters like you? You all are better dead than alive...Stop tricking us."
" Then come back to Jotunheim and Finish what you started. Slaughter us all. Give us an honourable death, because you may believe whatever lies you are fed, we are not monsters!" Helblindi stood up, shaking with anger.
" Enough!" ,Thor boomed. " King Helblindi, stop goading us. I have promised you protection and I will keep my word.Just tell me why I should trust you?"
" What can I say to make you trust me.I am here with my truth, you can help me or you can throw me out.Better yet , you can kill me off, so that my people will have a reason to go in war. So that they will not die everyday, seeing their children starve to death.Our weak and elderly can not get the help.. You can start the end of Jotun race, here and now!"
" I meant my question, Why should I trust you and your people... When your people are proven unworthy of power? You are little more than a pack of animals, you tried to subjugate mortals ,at the least your father did. You fight with each other, you have no trade or cordial relationship with other realms.And worst of all, You abandon your young to die in cold.Why should I help you?" Thor was holding Loki's hand by the end of his speech.
" Yes my father did try to subjugate others and he got punished for that. He lost his family, his people's safety and even their trust.He lost his sanity.And when finally he made his last mistake to come here he lost his life too. There are many in nine realms who pursued power, some succeeded others like my father failed.You can not punish his people for his sins.Yes we fight with each other, but we are stranded on a block of ice without any means to survive or escape, how do you except us to behave.They are not monster Thor, if they seek violence to feed their families. we can't reach out to other realms as mighty Allfather took away our means of communication. And I can not understand the base of your last accusation, Thor.You can believe whatever you want about us but no Jotun will ever leave a young to die. We are caring to a fault.Some of my people have gladly embraced death so their younger generation can live on. Do you think I would have come here,if I had thought my lifme more important than my people. If you don't want to help, then leave it. But stop such baseless accusations without evidence."
" Evidence is sitting right infront of you my friend.Loki , my brother was found and saved by my father during the war you talk about.He was left to die as an infant. Do you not recognise him?"
" There were many children lost in the massacres.And how can I recognise him when his heritage lines are hidden from view. Yet, I can not believe he was abandoned ."
" Tell me King of frost giants, did you ever had any sibling other than prince Byleistr.Or your father erased his existence from your history too.." Loki was trembling ever so slightly, yet he managed to keep his voice stable.
" Siblings? I have lost my youngest sibling and our dam in war.. but what does that have to do. with.." , Suddenly he realised, " You ! Are you my sweskin? are you Loptr? You must be, we never found his body. Why would our father erase your history.. He went mad with grief. He lost his will to fight ,and lost the final battle.He had been crazy for revenge until he met his death. He had lost not only his mate but his youngest child ,that day .Why are you talking like this? He was your father" , Helblindi stood up and was about to come closer to Loki, when Odin spoke.
" Stop your lies and leave, you filthy monster." , All father was keeping his voice neutral in spite of the hateful words.
" No.I want to know more.Are you saying that Loki was not abandoned? Even if he is smaller for a Jotun, a... a runt?", Thor was going to have answers.Odin ground his teeth, hard!!
" So, its true then.Loki is my sibling ,Laufey's son.Odin stole his enimy's child and kept as his..."
" Answer me Helblindi.Was Loki abandoned or not?", Thor interupted
" Why would we abandon our prince? And what is this runt nonsence? Smaller Jotuns are precious, my parents were ectasic to have a small in our family" , He tried to held Loki's gaze, who was looking down stubbornly. Loki looked up, surprised, Never before he was thought to be precious, a menace, villian trickster, a spare but not...
" Precious?" , Loki asked uncertainty clear on his face.
Suddenly it all hit Helblindi, this was his baby brother stolen by enemy and raised without his true family.They had failed to protect little Loptr.He tried to remember the child's face but all he could remember was his dam's dead eyes after he was found near temple. He remembered running with byleistr to to nursary and seeing dam smiling with love over a tiny sleeping child. He could not speak through the emotions clogging his throat.
Thiazi answered instead, " Yes. Smalls, that's what we call you.Smalls have highly developed brain functions , they are intelligent , even brilliant compard to normal Jotun brutes like us.They are rare to be born and are perceived as blessed. They usually devote their lives to seek knowledge, as they are less prone to violence. Most of our healers, teachers even advisors are small. They run our society, why would you be any different, my prince? In fact, the day when we lost you, was when you were taken to temple of ancient winters.Your dam, uh mother wanted to pray and show gratitude for having you."
" Then why was I told that I was left alone to die?" Loki's all but whispered.He did not want the answer, he was not going to like it any way.
" I don't know.But I can assure you that you were not alone. Farabauti, our bearer was most fierce warrior of Jotunheim, and he lost his life trying to protect you. He was killed and all 12 temple priests were massacred by Aesir to get to the casket.It was our holy place, we thought allfather would respect that. We thought you also were killed.We have old records of war to prove that, if you want"
It was not Loki that spoke, but Tyr, who looked horrified.
"What are you saying? those people were warriors. They sliced my men with ice daggers."
" Thats a natural response to threat. They were all priests, harmless.Only warrior their was ,Farabauti.And he was still recovering from child birth.My father had refused to let him fight in the battle."
" He was a fine warrior, had allfather down in few moves.I stabbed him myself , to protect all father", Tyr,the old fool bragged. Before Odin could shut him up, Thor looked at Loki, who sat there in shock trying to process everything.
" It's true then.I was not left to die. I was loved ", Loki said, whispered as if to himself.
" Yes, you were ,you are still loved, sibling. Our sire lost his sanity for you,such was his grief.He would have forgiven his mate's death, but he thought Odin has killed his infant son.That was unforgivable in his rule.Thats why he came , sneaked in Asgard , for the revenge.And lost his life."
No-one knew what to say. Everyone including Thor ,Odin, the council looked to Loki , waiting for his reaction. Loki looked around, taking in every face and when he looked, finally looked at Odin , meeting his eye,he started laughing. He laughed,and laughed and laughed until his eyes brimmed with tears. And he laughed some more, so much that it was hard to say if he was sobbing or laughing. Thor was growing worried, he found Helblindi looking concerned.
" Love." ,Thor asked so many questions in one word.
" I am fine, my king.I just,.. is it not funny? All my life I worked and trained and tricked people so that I could have Father's appreciation. All my life, I thought for Asgard , for you..for him.", He swalloed his emotion visibly," All the while my real family was mourning my death.How did it felt when I killed my own bloody father to please you, father?" The venom in his last word caused Odin to flinch. Loki was standing now, slightly bending over the table to meet Allfather's single eye squarely. He held the edge of table so hard that his knuckles were white.
Thor stood up and embraced him from behind.
" Loki, my love we need to go.Are you hearing me?" He got no response, so he shaked the sender man a little and tried to turn him away from Odin. But Loki's focus did not waver , he did not acknowledge Thor. He stared at Odin, green orbs burning with rage,
" I thought the world of you.You were the most important person for me, even after you discarded me to prison. I lived for the scrapes of attention you gave me, and thought I did not deserve You. All the while you were laughing to yourself for my efforts.You destroyed my life, destroyed every chance I could ever have of any happyness.You have seen my love and loyalty, Father.. now you will see my hatred. I know I am powerless, but even if I have to sell my soul to norns ,I will find a way. I will make it upto you ..., Father" , He sneered that sinister smile of his.A chill ran down the all father's spine. He looked distressed as sweat broke on his brow.
" Thor, shut him up or I will.. "
" Not a word.." ,Thor stopped his father. Everyone noticed the lack of respect his tone.
Then Loki was turned around , to the young king gazing down on his face, his features contorted in worry for his brother.
" Loki.You will not speak anymore.I command you to stay silent." Loki's eyes glazed over as the command took place. And his lips thinned. When he looked up again, he was furious. His grunted and pushed Thor away. His demeanor spoke murder and he charged towards Odin, a dagger appeared in his hand which he raised to strike the old man ,who reared back. Thor caught him and hugged him tight. At the same time, held his hand in tight grip and forced him to drop the dagger. It all happened in fraction of second yet the enchanted ring was automatically activated as soon as he pushed Thor. Thor held him close as he rode the waves of pain in silent anguish. He had broken the command by attacking Thor's father and the punishment was harsh enough to make him grit his teeth. The young king could not see him suffer, and spoke in his ear,
" Stop.stop the punishment.Its enough." Loki sighed in relief and closed his eyes. He was exhausted, to think anything , to do anything. And he was in Thor's arms.So he was safe, for now.
Thor looked around the bewildered faces. Nobody dared to speak.
" King Helblindi, my promise still stands.We have wronged you in every sense.We will continue this discussion tomorrow, and come to a solution agriable to all " He picked his lover who seemed out of it.
" My son, you can not be thinking to return the casket. Jotnar can not be trusted with its power." , Oidin said.
" I said we shall discuss it tomorrow. Right now, I need to take my brother away." ,He looked down at his Jotun's face whose eyes were closed. Loki drfted in and out of consciousness through the walk to their bedchamber. He whimpered at the loss of warmth of the king's body when he was layed down on bed.
" Peace , brother.We are here , are you still in pain?" ,Thor asked checking the cool forehead and then cupped his lover's cheek. Loki leaned in touch but did not speak. Thor inspected his oalm, which was covered in blisters by now.
" I am calling Eir, you need medical attention." ,Thor stood up and turned.But his wrist was caught, he looked back to see Loki gazing at him.
" I am fine.Do not call her"
" You are still angry at her! "
"...."
" Loki, Eir gave me that drug because I ordered her.You forgave me, can you not at least talk to her. She worries"
" She betrayed me long before she aided you to rape me. She knew my true parentage, yet she lied to my face. "
" She must be under oath Loki.She could not tell you" Loki looked up eyebrows knitted in thoughtful frown. When he spoke ,his gaze was faraway,
" Do you remember when we were taught basic healing? We had a lesson in anatomy.. Thats when I understood reproductive organs of Aesir man looked nothing like what I have. I..I was scared, I thought I have some deformity, decease even." ,He paused as his eyes focused on Thor's face.
" You were young, we both were." ,Thor tried to assure him.
" Hmm.Yet you were perfect.I could not speak to anyone, but I didn't want to have some horrible decease. So I gathered courage and talked to Eir.Afterall she was responsible for our health since childhood, she must have known the cause of my difference.She was very encouraging and supporting until I finally got across what was bothering me. Then she explained me that I had both male and female reproductive system in one body, how I can be whatever I want to. I asked if there was anyone else like me." , He stopped and a small smile spead on his face,
" She said no" , he finished bitterly." I was left feeling alone and scared and lacking just because my healer wanted to keep Odin's secret. "
" Oh Loki" ,Thor hugged him again.
" Do not call any healer,please"
" Then what should I do, when you are in so much pain."
" Stay.Just be with me here"
Thor hugged him till his sobs died down to occasional hiccup.He stayed as his lover's breathing evened out and he fell into slumber. He prayed to the Norns for his brother to have better dreams than this reality .
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