Chapter 10
Loki felt better day by day.His relationship with Thor was slowly healing..As promised Thor was really taking things slowly. He would take Loki to garden almost everyday for a walk and tea. The breakfast together was also back. Their routine somehow was back with minute changes. Thor encouraged him to get out more, took him to dinner daily.And he passed a royal edict declaring Loki as official diplomatic adviser for King ,much to Odin's chagrin. He used all his power, to make it possible to Loki to take part in negotiations for Asgard. Loki was stll reluctant and avoided Odin as much as possible but still he had helped to draft some good treaties with few other realms, swarthalfeim being one of them. Dinner was much harder task, being in presence of allfather and all Aesir courtiers. It was difficult at first, but Thor's solid presence was the anchor Loki needed. Thor would speak with him softly while trying to push more food in his plate.He would try to include Loki in conversation without much success. Loki would answer him, even sometimes whisper something to Thor but that was all. Loki would not talk to any other person, wouldn't even answer their questions.Thor would have to do that for him.It was like Thor was the only person existed in his life. But he was more than enough. He would kiss Loki's hand,even in public,like Loki was someone to be worshipped. It would cause now familiar flutter in Lokis stomach and they would ignore muttered jeers and remarks from onlookers.They have not done more than few kisses, and lingered touches, much to Loki's disappointment! But life was good, as if he had rested enough, after a tiring ordeal. He felt almost content, except when he did not..There was some sadness on the back of his mind and if he was not distracted enough, it would drag Loki into the dark place filled with melancholy.So Loki filled his days with some thing or other.He would clean the chambers, call breakfast, spend time with Thor.He had started reading and practicing his seidr again. On Thor's insistence, he had started visiting library again, whenever Thor was busy. But while on his way to library he would keep his head down and never stopped for anything. Sometimes he would see one of Thor's friends on his way, but he wouldn't acknowledge them. Fandral and sometimes Volstag had tried to greet him ,to talk with him but Loki never responded.He would walk away, feeling their gaze on his back. That was one more problem, Loki was now hyperaware of people staring at him, talking about him,making him more awkward and scared. Only Thor's presence could make him feel safe.
One morning, over their breakfast Thor said that he should rest in their chambers today.
" Why? are you coming back early?" Loki asked.
" No but I have a surprise coming for you!"
" Okay" Loki was now used to small surprises by him.Flowers, sweets, daggers, small things he knew made Loki happy. So Loki spent the morning cleaning the chambers and then reading.He was about to call for lunch when door was knocked. He thought it might be a servant. So he called them to come in.
" Oh my beautiful child!" As soon as he heard the voice Loki threw the book on small table and got up from the chair.
" Nanna?" He could not believe his eyes.The next moment he was in the arms of the motherly woman.She was the woman who had been with him in everything. He used to think sometimes, that its pathetic that only person to love you are your mother and an old servant. But he didn't know about Thor's love then.
Nanna was young when she had came to Asgard with Frigga's entourage as a servant and as a companion. Being vanir, she had a small amount of magic. And she used to hate every Aesir with all her heart. When Loki was brought from jotunheim as an infant and left with Frigga,. After seeing that small sickly child, Nanna had not thought twice to get a spell to lactate and became wet nurse to him. Later as he grew up,they both didn't know exactly when she had came in his service from the queen's. Maybe his constant mischief against his servants was a cause. Nanna could perfectly alter her behaviour from stern to doting. And Loki has ever loved the lack of false flattery, which he hated other servants for. She was too heartbroken on his supposed death after the fall in void.So she packed her meagre belongings and retired to go back to vanaheim. Frigga would have made her to stay, but she herself was devastated.And now, Nanna was here.
" How?" Loki asked
" Thor sent for me, some days ago. I had to take care of few to things before I come" She explained.
" You won't go back?"
" To what? You are all I ever had,my child. I am but a servant, I could do nothing for you last time. but now I am not going to let you out of my sight." She said vehemently.
" I am not going anywhere,nanna. I am unable to leave, I am bound to Thor now,to this this life." He said wanly." I am his bed slave now" He said through the lump in this throat, miserable.She pulled him in a hug.
" None of that now.young man. Thor explained me everything.He lives, because he seemed to be repenting his actions" Loki smiled in her shoulder. She continued," I was shocked, Loki. Your mother would never had allowed this. She would have found some other solution. I sometimes feel how helpless I am, when it comes to you"
" I miss her, nanna"
" So do I,my child ,so do I"
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Bringing Nanna back was the best decision Thor has made .She made Loki eat when Thor could not, kept him grounded on reality and accompanied him when Thor could not. The frequent smile that adorned his younger brother's face were mostly Nanna's doing.These smiles had nothing to do with the scalding sneers Loki used to hide his pain. Thor would feel joy bubbling inside his chest, everytime Loki smiled this adorable smile of his. And he had Nanna to thank for that. She had came back like boon to their lives.
After being back in the loving woman's care, Loki had started feeling more like himself.He was gaining weight slowly and his appearance was changed from sickly pale to healthy within few days. Thor removed the ring every night as soon as they were back. Loki was thankfull for the bit of freedom he could get.He had started to talk more openly to Thor. He felt Happy, almost! There was no denying that he was attracted to Thor, and Thor was torturing him with this Newfound restraint of his.He knew he should be angry ,he should hate Thor for all this mess and he did sometimes, but more than that he found himself thinking about his foolishly noble and insanely handsome brother. He hated Thor yet loved him.He knew every good thing in his life was Thor's doing.He knew Thor wanted him, he could see the desire in his eyes, he could give this one thing in return of every kindness he was shown. He knew he had only this one thing to offer.
In the middle of night while they were talking, wrapped in each other's arms,Loki thanked him.
"Why, why would you thank me when,I am the cause of your pain brother?"
" Because ,I may loath to accept this Thor but you have given me a new life. I know this is not what I would want but it's better than that cell. and with you and nanna I have found some form of contentment. I like to think that this is only life I know,The other life,the life I have lost... its so distant now that it feels like a dream now." This made Thor frown, he knew Thor wanted everything to be like it was once,but that was impossible now........
" I don't know what to say to that.I was never good with words. But I want to promise that I would give every happiness to you in this life, atleast I will strive to do so. I will give you your dignity and your rightful place back and one day I will share my life and my throne with you along with my heart, love!"
Loki kissed him, passionately,gratefully with all the love he felt.Thor, obviously responded. he was exhilarated. .as he felt his beloved melting with touch. Lokis touch, his smell, everything was getting too much, he was panting with need, " you need to move back Love, or I wont be able to stop myself."
" Then don't!" Loki huffed, emerald eyes dark with lust.
" Loki, think again. we can still wait"
" For what? by the norns If we waited more I will die of desire" Loki said frustrated
" Please, you are making it difficult for me. What do you want me to do?" Thor asked, his eyes intense.
" I...(kiss on forhead).... want...(peck on the nose)...you to...(kiss on the cheek)..... make...(nip at the jaw)...love..(kiss towards ear)..to me" with that he looked up.smiled cheekily and went down to attack Thor's ear.
" You asked for this you, mischief" With that Thor pushed the trickster down on bed and ,hovered above him, imploring his face, searching for signs of fear or doubt.
When he found none, he made sweet love to his Loki.He forgot every doubt as he heard Loki loose his words to throaty sounds of pleasure. He kept on as all Loki could speak was Thor's name... He would remember this forever.
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Loki usually spent some time with nanna after Thor left for court. But that day Nanna went off to make his favourite cookies herself. So he thought he should leave early for library. Thor had initiated talks with new king of Jotunheim, and Loki wanted to study the treaties held by the realms prior to the war. It could help with the negotiations.When he told Thor about his days plan, the king suggeted they both leave together upto the concil office from where they could go their own ways.
The plan was good but its implementation proved difficult as they were still attached to each others mouth in a dark alcove on the way.
"Thor you are getting late",Loki gasped trying to move back from the king's arms.
" What if I don't want to go?" Thor whined
" And what would you want to do?" Loki asked thoughtfully.
" What I want is to go back to our chambers and ravish you" Thor moved out of alcove still holding his hands in his own.Loki smiled,eyes twinkling with amusement.
" And why would I go back to our chambers?" he asked.
" Because I am going to ravish you" Thor whispered in his ear, lips ghosting over the sensetive skin there.
" Hmmm.let me think" he said ,taking his finger on his lips tapping it there,as if contemplating the proposal.Thors eyes rested on his pink petal lips.
" My king! " a guard saluted loudly breaking the moment.causing them to jump apart."I was going to your chambers,your grace. I have a message for you"
" Vidar son of Helmond , whose message you bring my friend?" Thor boomed happily clapping the guard.
Loki smiled, 'Thor would remember lowest of the einjenhar's name and show them how much he loved and cared for them. For this,the lowest of the eijenhar will lay down his life for his king. Only this oaf could inspire such loyalty.' ,He thought. In his past life he would have bristled with jealousy but today he felt only pride.Thor was loved by everyone,and he loved Loki. That was enough.
" Allfather has asked you to visit council office before the court, your grace" The guard said
Loki's eyes narrowed. Instead of showing proper respect to the young king, Odin had summoned him to his office. If he still treated Thor like a child, How will others take the king seriously?
As the guard bowed and went away, Thor pecked Lokis nose and said,
" rest that pretty Little head of yours and lets go see what the message is about" Loki crinkled his nose at the thought of seeing Odin.
" Thor ,I don't think I should..."
"Come sweetheart,you are my advisor now." Even if the king had not intended, it was an order, Loki felt the tingle of command. He nodded in resignation and follwed him without protest.
As they entered the chamber Thor was greeted by Bragi the old counciler and Odin.
"Father, Councilor,! Whats the urgent matter you called me for" Thor asked as he nodded in greetings
" My king. Its great news. We have received a message from king hellblindi of jotunheim.He says..."Bragi was suddenly interrupted by odin saying
" What he says is very confidential matter and is for the king's ears only" He said looking pointedly at Loki.
" Father ,I have declared Loki as my advisor in diplomacy. He can stay and..." Again..Odin interrupted Thor,
" Thor, this is Jotunheim we are speaking of. And your concubine is.."
" Thor" , Now Loki interrupted Odin before he could throw his heritage in .He touched the king's face with both his hands and turned him towards himself. Then kissed him, briefly but on lips. Then he hugged Thor's neck throwing both his arms around and whispered in his ear,
" Its okay Thor,I will go back to our chambers.You finish this business here and come back to give me that 'ravishing ' you promised" Thor was getting flustered with the obvious display, loki noticed it happily then added, " Now lets give the old men some satisfaction. Command me to go back ,now!"
Thor looked flabbergasted.But then he controlled himself,looked at allfather.He also took Lok's both hands in his,in a intimate manner and said,
" Go my love. wait for me in our chambers!"
It was a command, yes but it was so much more. Loki felt the happy flutter in his stomach. As the enchantment started tingling he nodded and left the room. But he made sure to throw a smirk towards Odin. It was unnecessary challenge, he knew,but he couldn't stop himself.Loki had stayed down for a long time.
As Loki walked towards the chambers, he could not hide th giddy smile on his face.He was so lost in his king's thought, that he didn't even notice that he bumped into someone.Without looking at the person's face, he muttered an apology and moved around to continue. He was thinking how to greet Thor back , when a hand clamped on his wrist.
" Where are you going bitch? " Asked a familiar gruff voice, making Loki stop in his tracks. He felt someone's face close to his neck, hot breath laced with alcohol made his skin crowl . He needed to run ,now... but he couldn't make himself move. His legs felt as if they were made of lead, as panic gripped his chest. His heart thuds loudly in his throat.
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