Chapter 4
Loki spent his days in their shared chambers.Preferably by the window with a book in his lap.He would not speak unless asked direct question.That worried Thor. The new king had tried to take him out for the meals in dining halls, but he refused everytime. He needed to appear in public and spend time with Thor as protocal but Thor didn't want to push him.He knew Loki would want to go out soon.He just had to wait. He was trying to ask him to come to gardens that one evening,
" Just a walk Loki.You know royal gardens are open for only us. Nobody will be there." He had said. Loki seemed to think about it for some time."
" Can I come back, whenever I please?"
" Of course!"Thor's smile was as bright as summer sun.
They walked side by side through carefully emptied halls.The absence of guards didn't seem to affect Loki.Thor itched to touch him, to take his hand but he controlled himself.
They sat around a table set in emergency after king's order. There was tea and cookies filled with nuts.Loki's favourite tea party.It was the thing they used to share with mother.Thor had stopped coming after he growed up to discover new adventures with his friends. Loki looked at the arrangement and raised his eyebrows in question.Thor didn't answer, instead said,
" I would have served but you know me. I would spill everything.Should I call a servant?"
" No.Let me" Loki served the tea with ease.Thor would have thought serving tea can't be made more graceful. They sat there enjoying the silence and tea.Loki ate his cookies, which he hadn't touched in their chambers.Thor hadbeen trying to feed him in subtle ways.Now he was happy to stare as Loki ate and drank lost in his thoughts. He turned his gaze away as soon as his brother's eyes turned to him
" Its odd to see you so silent! " Loki stated
" I am trying to change, to be better"
" Don't!"
" What?" Thor asked
" You don't have to change Thor, You are perfect.Aesir people love you, Father loves you" He all but whispered the last part.
" I am not changing for them." Thor said.He wanted to elaborate,to tell how sorry he was for all the pain he had caused in his ignorance. How he wished he had been wise and respected his brother. But what will empty words do now? He could only hope his actions will be able to assure Loki of his love.But then, it also seemed too difficult after he had forced his brother in this.
" We should head back.I have a council meeting" He said instead
Loki stood up gracefully and they moved back.He accompanied Loki upto his chambers,the latter stood in threshold gnawing his lower lip. Thor was about to turn to leave when Loki spoke,
"Thank you Thor. It was nice" A balloon of happiness filled Thor's being.
" We can do this again" He said
" I would like that" , the younger man answered And disappeared inside.
Thor almost floated towards meeting rooms.
_@_@_@_@_@_@_@_
On the first night in their chambers, Thor had suggested that he can sleep in outer chamber on couch, out of courtesy. But Loki shook his head and with a wave built a transparent barricade in the middle of the large bed.Nobody could see it ,but Thor could feel its solid presence like a glass.It was torture indeed, He could watch, he could talk but he could not touch his brother. Thor had always been a tactile person.Having the object of his fantacy so close yet so unreachable, caused him to lay awake in the bed many times. He would gaze at sleeping form of the man he loved so hopelessly, so desperately and could do nothing more than watch. In those nights he had came to know that, Loki's dreams were not nice. His brother would twist and turn, trying to fight off something, sometimes whimpering softly, other times calling out for mother. He once jolt awake drenched in sweat, breathing heavily,causing Thor to quickly close his eyes feigning sleep.Loki ran his hands through his hair,scrubbed his face in frustration and without making any noise slid out of bed to go to bathing room. When he came back Thor was actually asleep. He never talked about his dreams, Thor also avoided to ask him.He knew his brother was too proud to talk about such things.
Being king, Thor had to have his meals out with others ,so he made a routine to share a breakfast with Loki. They ate at the small table in their outer quarters, after Thor had returned from his daily sparring and washed.Years of practice made him to wake before dawn, He would leave sleeping Loki to spar with his friends.The only time he would spend alone with them. When he returned, Loki would be awake and ready. With a clean room and arranged breakfast, he would wait for Thor to eat together.It felt nice. So when Odin asked him to share breakfast with him, he refused. The old man, narrowed his eye.Then said,
" I know your reason,Thor.Of course,you would like to spend more time with a newfound love. But its traditional to invite lover of son to eat with family.You can bring your concubine.Lets be a family again"
Thor was fuming, he hissed angrily., " His name is Loki,father.He used to be your son. He is much more than a body to please my carnal needs. If you are going to insult him like this, I will have to refuse."
He left without listening to whatever manipulation his father was going to use.
He never uttered the incidence to Loki. But he didn't stop pestering him about going out. Attend meals and such.Loki refused everytime.But they both knew he will have to appear outdoors with Thor.It couldn't be avoided forever. Thor was trying not to be pushy, to give him time. That day he was requesting to come with him to receive Alfheim's deligation.It was due early morning,so there would not be many people.Loki had friendly relations with many elven ambassadors,more than friendly in somecases.But that was in past.
" Just recieve them and you can leave. Or you can spend some time with them, they are your friends,You will thank me later." Thor tried.
" I was Asgard's prince when they were my friends.Now I am just a toy to amuse King of Asgard" Loki sneered.
" You know I would never touch you without your consent.Why do you have to be difficult" Thor was frustrated now.
" Because being difficult is only way to be heard. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go to library" Loki left miserable Thor in their chambers and slammed the door behind him.
He had started to go to library during day, where he could hide in his favourite corner without being disturbed. It was his old habit, books provided distraction he needed.And the building was cool and dark as he preferred. Absence of visitors was added benefit.
Next day he found himself in the library immediately after breakfast, Thor being busy with the Alfheims delegation.He was asleep on a cold floor when Thor found him.
Thor lifted the book from his chest and closed it. Then touched his hand on Loki's cool forhead, carding his fingers through his softraven hair, he called him softly.
" You never woke me like this " Loki said turning his head closer towards Thor. Thor raised his eyebrows,
" Charging in the room like a bull,and screaming till the last soul in hellheim wakes up, is your usual style" Loki said his with a twinkle in his eyes.
" I do no such thing.and this is library, we have to keep silence",Thor was happy to see genuine smile on Loki's face.
" You didn't have problems killing silence before! What do you want?" Loki sat up.
" Nothing.just wanted to meet you before going out.I have a gift for you,in our chambers." Thor said.
" Do you now?" Loki raised his eyebrows, causing Thor to spill the beans.
" Ah.I know you hate our bitter ale.So I bribed elven ambassador to give some of their honeyed mead.I know you used to keep it" Thor stuttered.
" Ah, Faradei! Are you sure you had to bribe him for that.He always brought it as a gift for me. And you would never bribe anyone" ,
Loki smiled at Thor's expression. " Uh. Okay. You are right. He wanted to give it himself. But I told them that you don't meet anyone except me now.They were sad!"
" You told them no such thing" Loki glared at him. " They will think you have forbidden me to meet them.You big oaf!"
" But its truth. You don't meet anyone!" Thor said unfazed by his outburst.
" You know what, I am coming to meet them.They are my friends.You will have a dinner after negotiation today,yes?"Loki said.
" Yes.Would you like it to be private, I can hold off the feast untill tomorrow. You will be able to talk with them without many people around" Thor suggested.
" I would like that.Thank you"Thor smiled. This was the Elven's plan.And it succeeded.He shall thank them later.He hoped Loki would come out more, during their stay.He will think about it later,but now Loki was nervously biting his lower lip, playing with thread of the bookcover.He looked adorable.
" Hey, what are you worried about?"
" Nothing" Loki answered.But Thor knew better.He was not ignorant fool he used to be.These were diplmats, with whoom Loki had negotiated treaties for Asgard.He had talked to them as their equal, superior even being a prince. But now all that was past, gone.Now he was Thor's lover, concubine.There was no place for his clever words , witty remarks and sharp mind. He could never play his favourite game with these people.His place was in Thor's bed and sometimes on his arms as a trophy to show off.Thor would not have it so, slowly but surely he would raise his brother to his rightful place.By his side, with dignity.Untill then he could not do much,only small things.So he said,
" Very well.I shall leave then.I would ask steward to make arrangements for the dinner.Are you returning to our chambers?I shall accompany you. "
" Hmnn.Lets go." Loki stood up.
.