Chapter 3
The next morning Natasha decided that she’d better check out the situation in her closet after all if she was planning on staying here for any length of time. While the personal belongings that she’d left behind were sparse, she did manage to find a pair of tight hip-hugger jeans and a green cropped sweater. She smiled wistfully to herself as she brushed out her long hair, thinking that the last time she’d spent any real amount of time at the mansion had been the last time this outfit was in style.
The house was still eerily quiet as she made her way to the kitchen and her mind recalled an age when fellow Avengers and sometimes their families had filled every crevice.
She rummaged around in the cabinets and fridge, finding it wasn’t that hard to remember where things were kept after all as she gathered ingredients for pancakes and eggs. If there was one room in the whole house that always remained well-stocked, it was for sure the kitchen and she knew she could get fancy with fruit and cream as she started to pour the batter into a pan.
“You’re up early,” a voice said from the door frame.
“Not early enough to surprise you with a warm meal, apparently,” she retorted.
He came up beside her, opening a cabinet. “I know it’s been awhile since you’ve been around, but I’m usually the one who cooks breakfast.”
“Except for today,” Natasha said, swatting his hands away.
“Fine. We’ll do it together then. What are we having?”
“Your favorite,” she said with a grin, playfully pushing him against the counter. “And you don’t even have to lift a finger. Making you breakfast for once is the least I can do to thank you for taking such good care of me.”
“You already said thank you. That’s more than enough,” Tony protested, gripping both of her arms in his hands and wiggling a little to break free of her grasp.
She looked up at him to find his sparkling blue eyes boring into hers and even though they held an air of protective superiority that was bordering on obnoxious, there was something tender in them and it warmed her on the inside. This dance was familiar.
“Come on.” Natasha gestured to a chair, half-wondering what it would take to make him sit in it while her actions remained playful. “Let me do this for you.”
After a few teasing jabs to her waist he finally conceded, raising his hands in surrender for a moment before crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the counter to watch her.
She grabbed a spatula to flip the pancakes, being careful not to spill the cream she’d folded into the center of the dough. Truth be told, she was happy to have a task to be focusing on, and she really wanted to do something special for Tony, no matter how small. After a lifetime of debts, I-owe-you’s and scorecards kept amongst her friends and team mates, this was different. This was easy.
“I admit, I may be going a little overboard,” she said out loud, popping some bread in the toaster. “I wasn’t sure how much to make and who would be around today.”
He shrugged. “Just us.”
“Yeah, about that…” she turned around to face him. “I know my visits have been few and far between lately, but as I recall the mansion is usually a little more… lively? Like at all times of the day?”
He gazed at her carefully, clearly hesitant.
"What’s going on, Tony?”
“I may have…. hinted to the others to make themselves scarce for a little bit,” he admitted.
“Why’s that?” She asked, just as cautiously, her heart skipping a beat.
“I wanted you close, while you’re recovering from… everything. This way I could keep an eye on you, make sure you’re okay,” he said quietly. “I know you well enough to know that you’d need your privacy.”
Her expression softened and she nodded slowly, a wistful longing tugging at her from somewhere deep inside.
He was still staring at her, his eyes locked on hers and she jumped when the toast popped up from the toaster. “Or maybe you just wanted me all to yourself,” she joked in an attempt to lighten the sudden tension between them.
“Maybe.”
She pushed her hair behind her ear, turning around to start on the eggs while she digested the flirtatious smile that had appeared across his lips. Nothing new, and she could either play into the familiar routine or just casually brush it off and it would surpass on its own. He would be fine either way, and it wouldn’t change the comfortable comraderie they’d kept between them for quite a number of years now.
Still, Natasha knew this dance too, though it had been a long time since she’d laced up her shoes.
She stretched her torso, standing on her tiptoes as she reached into a cabinet above her head for a mixing bowl, the hem of her cropped sweater inching up to give him a quick peek at her tummy. A cheap shot for her to take, but it served its purpose as she caught his eyes traveling to the small sliver of bare skin, then over her curves. He didn’t look away even when she turned around and she felt a sudden pang of guilt.
“That’s actually…. quite thoughtful of you,” she said softly.
His casual smirk widened into a smile. “I do have my moments, you know.”
“You’re different since we’ve last spent any real time together,” she observed out loud.
“How so?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a little wiser, more mature. You’re more… mellow in your old age, I guess.” She smiled back, her eyes shining.
“I have been taking things a little slower. Trying to be less reactive. It leads to less explosions.” He winked, and she laughed. “I don’t know. I guess I need to be more in control now.”
Plus, coming back from the dead inevitably changes you, is what he didn’t say, but she decided that maybe over the breakfast table wasn’t the best time to peel away at his many layers until he admitted out loud what she already knew from recent experience.
She nodded. “It works, this new evolution of you. I like it.”
“As I recall, you used to like it when I lost control too.”
She froze for a moment, her eyes widening and her mouth falling slightly open.
“I’m sorry. I’ll stop,” he said softly.
She raised her eyes to look at him without moving her head, gazing at him through thick eyelashes. “Did I say you had to?”
“Oooooh, something smells good in here, sweetie!” A voice squealed from the hallway.
She looked up, her smile frozen on her face as Jan breezed through the open doorframe to join them, wrapping her arms around Tony’s waist from behind and squeezing him tight.
“It’s actually Nat,” Tony said casually. “She’s making breakfast this morning.”
He gently disengaged her arms from his body with a light push of his palms against her wrists, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“Well, if you’re this good of a cook, maybe you should stick around,” Jan said, nudging Natasha playfully as she piled some pancakes and fruit on a plate. “How are you feeling this morning, dear?”
“Just fine,” Natasha said, taking a seat at the wooden table.
“Mmmm… exquisite,” Jan said, closing her eyes as she savored a bite of the pancakes. She turned to Tony. “What’s on the agenda for today?”
He shrugged. “I actually have to head over to Stark Resilient today. Got a few meetings scheduled, but hopefully it won’t take too long.”
Jan nodded absently while she poured three glasses of orange juice. “Well, I’ll be working in the lab from here today, so you can just let me know if you need anything, Nat.”
Natasha gave her what she hoped was a grateful smile. “Thanks, but I just figured I’d get downstairs to the gym today. Don’t want to get too soft.”
“Okay… maybe I can take both my girls out to lunch later,” Tony said, his eyes on Natasha.
Jan agreed excitedly, but Natasha didn’t say anything.
“Great. Then it’s settled. I’ll pick you both up around one.”
XXXXX
She was getting dressed after her post workout shower when one of Tony’s many A.I. s (H.E.L.E.N., was it?) let her know that she had a visitor.
She glanced at her phone, frowning when she didn’t find a text from James or Matt and wondering who else on earth could possibly know that she was staying here as she made her way downstairs.
She didn’t have to go too far, as a tall, muscular frame was waiting for her in the common area.
“Nat,” he breathed as if drinking her in.
“Clint,” she said with a genuine smile as he enveloped her in a hug. Maybe it was the current environment or her current circumstances that had her feeling more than a little nostalgic, but part of her was glad when he didn’t pull away right away, and she let him embrace her for another few seconds.
“You look great,” he said, a slight sound of relief hidden in his tone.
“Thanks, but don’t I always?” She teased to lighten him up. This was the part of letting her friends in on a mission that was too close to her personal life that she was always wary about, and she didn’t really feel like having her old teammates look at her as if she was something that needed to have an eye kept on her. And this particular teammate should know better.
“Hell yeah,” he said, running a hand briefly through his close cut blonde hair in an unconscious gesture that she knew well.
He was nervous, she calculated, swallowing slowly as she studied him. “This is a long way from Brooklyn,” she said cautiously. “What brings you here?”
“I, uh, just wanted to check in on you,” he mumbled quickly, getting the obvious out of the way as he gestured with his hands to her.
“Well, I’m fine, as you can see,” she said.
He nodded. “No more bandage,” he said, his eyes traveling to the sliver of bare skin between her crop top and jeans.
She followed his gaze to where the wound would’ve been, now without so much as a scar. “Perks of super human healing,” she said dryly, resisting the urge to cross her arms in front of herself.
“I, uh… I’m sorry I shot you,” he said lamely.
“I told you to,” she reminded him, brushing him off.
“Yeah, but still…..”
She looked into his face, her eyes narrowing. “Clint. What’s this really about? And how did you know I was staying here?” The list of people she’d told was nonexistent, and the list of people who knew was very short. She didn’t want to be mentally going through it in her mind, crossing out connections (Not Matt. Not James. Not Tony. Jan?), but old habits died hard.
He shrugged. “I went by your apartment first. Seemed like you hadn’t been there in a few days and I figured with Tony giving you your memories back and all…. well, we all know Tony.”
“Mmmmmm,” she agreed.
“Did…. Bucky come by at all?” Clint asked awkwardly.
There he was, with his hand in his hair again. “Um… no?” She said quickly. “Why do you ask?”
He shrugged. “I just figured….”
“Look, Clint. Whatever you want to say, just say it.” It’s me, she added silently, hoping she wouldn’t have to say it out loud.
He took a step closer to her, reaching for her hand. “Nat….. when I saw you die…..”
Her expression softened and she shook her head. “Don’t,” she said, gazing at him pleadingly.
“Okay,” he whispered, his arms going around her.
She placed both hands on his chest, needing to put some distance between them before he got too close, but not entirely wanting him to stop either.
“I’m just…. really glad you’re back,” he said softly.
“Me too.”
“Nat….”
Of course there was more. There was always more with him.
He raised his hand from her shoulder to her face, slowly tilting her head back as he leaned his head down.
“Clint…” she started, turning her face. “I can’t.”
“Maybe we could just try again…”
“No.” She gazed up at him tearfully, less prepared to have this conversation than she’d thought. But then again, this was a familiar dance too. She’d always had a soft spot for this man, and no matter how many times it had been necessary over the years, she was never prepared to be the one to make that flicker of crushing disappointment appear on his face.
Her hands slid from his chest to his shoulders, tightly gripping his shoulders. “Clint,” she whispered. “You mean so much to me, you know you do….”
He nodded. “You just want to be good friends. I get it.”
She tried to smile through the lump forming in her throat. “Who else would I trust to shoot me just to make my enemy think my friends had turned against me?”
He was thinking it over, processing the words he’d heard many times before, but if she was completely honest, a long and complicated history had shown that the situation would’ve been just as likely to go the other way.
Just then, a voice called to her from the hallway outside the common room and they both turned around.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize I’d be interrupting something.”
“Bucky?” Clint asked, his tone taking on a mild note of irritation. “What are you doing here?”
“James!” Natasha greeted, silently grateful for the interruption despite the awkwardness. Her expression brightened even further when Liho jumped from his shoulder onto hers and she nuzzled her face against her pet.
“Bringing the cat by. Why, what are you doing here?” The other man’s question was half- accusing, his tone filled with just as much irritation.
Clint’s eyes narrowed. “So he did get to you first.”
Natasha’s hands went to her hips. “What do you mean ‘get to me?’”
“Hey, pal. You snooze you lose,” Bucky said, his sense of competition getting the best of him.
She rolled her eyes.
Clint walked right up to Bucky, jabbing a finger into his chest and Bucky angrily swatted him away with his metal hand, his expression clearly annoyed.
“Wait, guys!” She shouted, her eyes widening. Liho jumped to the floor and scurried away and Natasha wished she could do the same. “Come on. We’re not really doing this now, are we?”
“He’s the one that started it by being an arrogant ass,” Clint said, giving Bucky a shove.
“You’re the one with the inferiority complex,” Bucky retorted.
“James!” Natasha yelled, shooting him a look. She needed one of them to back off and she could always reason more with him.
“Typical. You think just because Tony restored her memories, she’s going to come crawling back to you. Never mind that you willingly kept stuff from her to suit your selfishness and guilt and when you knew all along what she would really want.”
Bucky raised an eyebrow. “And I suppose you’re the expert at what she wants? That why you had to come poking around here for your own answers? Talk about selfish!”
She groaned, trying to step between them, but each one was reaching around her to get to the other.
“Clint, no!” She shouted.
“Nat?” She felt a shiver as something buzzed near her ear and she realized it was Jan, shrunken down to barely more than the size of an insect.
“Let me know if you want me to intervene,” the woman said. “I’ll take Clint, you get Bucky.”
“Really, there’s no need,” Natasha protested. “I have this under control.”
She looked up, gritting her teeth when she found them locked together, annoyed that her friends had let their little squabble get physical.
“Seriously, you’re both acting like cavemen,” Jan said, flying over to Clint and tugging on his shoulder.
“Who said that?” Bucky asked, dodging a punch from Clint.
“What the hell is going on here?”
Everyone froze, all eyes going to Tony where he’d just walked in.
Jan grew back to her normal size, slowly tiptoeing backwards out of the room.
“I know I’m not seeing what I think I’m seeing,” Tony said, his voice thick with disappointment. “And I know I didn’t just crawl through a time hole and open the door to the past, so I’m sure you boys both have a really good explanation as to why you’re getting into a physical altercation in my home that doesn’t involve you fighting over a lady who is more than capable of whipping both of your asses.”
“Don’t bother, Tony,” Clint said. “I was just leaving.”
He walked past Tony, who was standing firmly with his arms crossed over his chest.
Natasha watched him go.
“I’ll just drop off the rest of your stuff in your room before I go,” Bucky muttered.
“Could you, please?” Natasha said, her voice a little more harsh than she’d intended.
Tony sighed once Bucky had disappeared up the stairs and they were alone. “Unbelievable. Some things will never change.”
Natasha shook her head. “I don’t know what to say. I'm sorry, Tony.”
His lips cracked into a smirk and his expression grew teasing. “Just tell me you didn’t choose either one of those clowns.”
Natasha laughed, suddenly able to find the humor in the situation. "Definitely not."
"Good. Cause if it's a boyfriend you want, you could do way better."
"A girl could also do way worse," she said defensively. "And... I don't know what I want," she added quietly.
He moved closer to her, turning more serious and she looked up at him, trusting in whatever he was about to say. The notion surprised her a little, and she gazed carefully at the man who was her dear friend, esteemed colleague, sometimes mentor and occasional lover, trying not to dwell too hard on that last part as she searched his face more for something within herself than within him.
“Honestly, Tasha. You should be hanging out with someone who understands you better than those boys. You need someone older, more mature.”
“Really?” She said, arching an eyebrow to disguise the fact that her heart had just skipped a beat. “And did you have a specific someone in mind?”
“Sweetie!” Jan called from the doorway with a pout. “All this raucous has me working up an appetite. And didn’t you promise us lunch?”
“That’s right,” Tony said. “I said I would take both my girls out. So where would you beauties like to go?”
“Oh,” Natasha said, shaking her head. “You both go. I’m good.”
“Aw, come on,” Jan whined. “We said the three of us would go. Plus it’d be good for you to get out.”
“Go where?” Bucky asked, reappearing in the common room. “Hey, sorry about all the nonsense, Nat. Guess I just let him get the best of me.”
“I have an idea!” Jan squealed. “You can bring Bucky, and we’ll all go! This way you won’t have to feel like the third wheel.”
“Go where?” Bucky repeated.
“Nowhere,” Natasha said.
“Out to lunch,” Jan said. “Are you hungry?”
“I’m sure he already had other plans, Jan,” Tony said.
Bucky looked from Jan, to Natasha, to Tony, and back to Jan. “I could eat,” he said with a grin. “Especially if Stark’s paying.”
“Oh, this’ll be fun!” Jan said, clapping her hands. “Just like a double date.”
Natasha groaned inwardly.