The Miraculous Spiderman Series

“Shut the fuck up,” Peter said by means of greeting when Adrien strolled into the room. Adrien paused, eyeing him wearily. He’d already had a bad start to his morning – Plagg had threatened bloody murder over the events of the previous night and Adrien had had to sit through a rare lecture. Although said lecture was mostly Plagg bargaining for an increased Camembert allowance.

“Did you sleep last night?” Adrien asked, eyeing the set-up. Peter had a massive incubator style tube on the floor beside his desk, a robotic arm inside the glass printing off a Spiderman suit before Adrien’s very eyes.

“Hmm?” Peter glanced away from his computer screen, eyes blinking as they adjusted to the daylight. “I made a side trip to London to pick that up from Mr. Stark and then I slept maybe four hours? It’s fine, I don’t need as much sleep as you.”

Adrien gave him a sceptical look that went unnoticed by his friend. “You weren’t kidding about the suit redesigning, huh?”

“Why would I lie about that? No thanks to Felix, I actually designed a whole new suit.”

Kneeling by the contraption, Adrien pressed a hand to the glass. “It looks the same to me.”

“That’s the point.” Peter tapped a pen to his bottom lip. “I changed its elemental composition after studying how the miraculous was created. This suit will be better suited to higher temperatures, magic absorption and retention, and I created several new types of web fluid.”

“Okay,” Adrien said slowly. “But do you need any of that? I mean, the suit seemed fine before.”

“I have new plans for it.” He brought his leg up onto the chair, the hem of his sweatpants stretching up to flash his ruby anklet. Adrien usually didn’t notice the jewellery Peter wore, but he remembered him mentioning something about Ned giving it to him. Adrien had met Ned in New York. He didn’t seem like the sort to have exemplary taste in jewellery, nor was the anklet really a universal accessory, but Peter seemed to like it. Or love it, granted that he wore it even when he was sitting there, wearing nothing but his grey sweatpants.

“Do you ever take that off?” Adrien asked. Peter glanced away from his suit printer to follow Adrien’s gaze, glancing down at his ankle.

“Oh, this? No.”

Adrien frowned. “It doesn’t look comfy.”

“Neither does your chunky ring.” Peter looked pointedly at his Chat Noir ring. Instinctively, Adrien twisted it, finger running over the silver surface.

“You know why I can’t take this off.”

“Then we’re in agreement.” Peter spun back to his computer, aggressively grabbing his mouse. Adrien wasn’t entirely sure what they were in agreement about but nodded along nonetheless.

He stood up, walking over to Peter’s desk, where a bag of candies were sitting. Without a second thought, Adrien popped one into his mouth, only to instantly regret it as his mouth seemed to burn at the intrusion.

“Whaah is dis?” Adrien panted, waving his hands in front of his open mouth as though it would make any difference.

“Yeah, don’t eat those.” Peter moved the bag away from him.

“Why do you have those?” Adrien swallowed the remainder of the candy whole, coughing slightly. He could feel it burn all the way down his throat.

Peter paused, drumming his fingers against the table, considering. “Yeah, I think it’s time. Okay, Suluu, come get your candy.”

Adrien’s eyes widened as a glowing kwami zipped out from behind the desk, settling in front of the bag, fixing Adrien with a beaming look. It seemed to be a bird of sorts, not one he’d ever seen before, with a giant gem sparkling in the centre of its forehead. Almost like the gem that Helios had on his….

“That’s a kwami. The phoenix kwami. Helios’s kwami.” Adrien couldn’t get a handle on his spiralling thoughts as he looked to Peter. Peter wasn’t…couldn’t be….

“Surprise!” Peter did jazz hands and his kwami waved its arms in imitation.

“I’ve been waiting a long ass time to meet you, Adrien!” The kwami zipped forwards, hovering so close to his face that Adrien went cross-eyed.

He glanced around the kwami, Suluu, he realized, to give Peter a concerned look.

“Yeah, she swears a lot. Come on, Su, just eat your candy and let poor Adrien get his bearings.”

“You’re Helios.” Adrien was vaguely aware of his jaw hanging open loosely.

“You have a hickey on your neck.” Peter said, as though Adrien’s realization had been just as casual, clicking something on his computer.

“No, no, we are not done talking about this.” Even so, Adrien self-consciously pulled the neckline of his hoodie up higher.

“Fine.” Peter cleared his computer screen of its various tabs and fixed his attention on Adrien, his big brown eyes staring into his soul, as per usual. “I’m Helios, I have been ever since Master Fu chose me to be. I’m the only one who can. Anyone else who tries would die. Ladybug knows I’m Helios but not that I’m Spiderman and I’m intending to keep it that way. I’m the permanent guardian of the phoenix miraculous. Any questions?”

“Um, yeah. Like, a lot.”

“Maybe we should sit on the couch for this.” Peter stood up, suddenly shooting a web up to the second level of his room and pulling. A white t-shirt came zipping back to him and Peter pulled it on, covering his previously bare torso. Adrien hadn’t even noticed him engaging his web shooters or if he’d just had them on this whole time. Really, he thought, his observation skills needed some work.

He sat numbly on the couch, Peter leaping over the back to settle beside him, his kwami not too far behind. Adrien had half a mind to nudge Plagg out but decided against it. Plagg had a habit of exacerbating situations.

“So you’re Helios, and you can do all that crazy stuff?”

“Didn’t you think it’s weird that every time I left, Helios would show up?” Peter shook his head slightly, leg jogging on the floor. “I know the masks have magic to prevent you from knowing my identity but damn. Observation skills zero.”

“I thought it was odd that you two communicated but you never told me about it, but I decided that blind trust was the way to go.”

“I can respect that,” Peter decided. “Anyways yeah, I’m Helios. I’ve got some super fun powers that I won’t necessarily get into because trust me, it’s a lot but I’ve been trying to figure out how to combine my own suit with Helios’s.”

“I’ve been helping,” Suluu added, still smiling.

“She has not been helping in the slightest. She told me if I burn my suit she’ll laugh at me.”

Adrien’s head swivelled between them, uncertain of who to look at. Suluu was bright and sparkling and naturally drew the eye, but Peter commanded attention in a different way. His unwavering confidence and the weight at which he spoke remained unparalleled. Together, he could picture Helios in his mind’s eye. Helios was ferocious in a confident way. Both that brilliant energy of Suluu and Peter’s blinding soul combined to make the fearless hero.

Truth be told, Adrien was terrified of Helios. But now he could see that Helios was Peter’s most powerful form. His own spider DNA and Suluu’s godly powers were a mixture that seemed dangerous but obviously worked to Peter’s advantage.

“What’s it like?” Adrien asked.

“Being Helios?” Peter’s eyes unfocused slightly and, not for the first time, Adrien longed to know what was going on inside his head. “It hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It burns with the kind of heat you think is going to destroy you but somehow doesn’t. However it also feels amazing. It’s like for once I’m not some freak who was bitten by a spider. For once I’m powerful and everything works like it’s supposed to. I can think clearly, I can see like a hawk, and I have strength like the Hulk but in a much smaller body. That being said, it gets easier every time I transform.”

“Your phoenix song, where’d you learn to do that?”

“It’s not something you learn, necessarily.” Peter glanced at Suluu for help. She swooped forwards, gladly taking the stage.

“The phoenix song isn’t actually that much of a song, it’s just called that because of it’s unique resonance. In actual fact, it’s a scream. Using the phoenix song is both painful and emotionally draining, and it’s designed to be used as a last resort.”

“So there’s a specific timing to it?”

“What are you, stupid?” She tilted her head at him and Peter’s hand shot out, grasping Suluu in his fist and bringing her back.

“How about we not insult Adrien? He is in for a shock, after all.”

Suluu made an apologetic face. “Sorry.”

“It’s like Ladybug’s lucky charm,” Peter said, waving the fist that clasped Suluu in it through the air to illustrate his point. “Technically she could use it at any point, but it’s more effective if she uses it at the right moment.”

“So you’ve been fixing your suit to accommodate that.” Adrien glanced back down at the machine.

“I don’t need the suit, it’s just far more convenient. And while the phoenix miraculous can’t be combined with another miraculous like yours and Ladybug’s can, it can be combined with my suit.”

“Hypothetically,” Suluu interjected.

“I have done all the necessary calculations.”

“All your calculations were hypothetical, you said so yourself.”

“Theoretical. Theoretical physics. I used three-dimensional mathematical models and abstractions of physical objects combined with Suluu and I’s collective miraculous knowledge to rationalize and predict everything that will happen.”

Adrien just stared at Peter. “So you’re basically….” He didn’t quite know what Peter was ‘basically’ but he sure knew he couldn’t understand it.

Peter released Suluu. “I’m working with completely unexplored concepts and calculations that don’t have any actual bearing to real life. So basically, I’m doing working with things that don’t exist to try and figure out how the suit and Helios’s powers will behave with each other when combined.”

“Uh…okay.” Adrien brought one foot up to rest on the edge of the couch, fiddling with the hem of his jeans.

“Do you even know what your suit is made out of? And if you say ‘magic’ I’m going to slap you.”

Adrien knew this one. He leaned back, folding his arms across his chest, and fixed Peter with a smug smirk. “Leather.”

Peter and Suluu burst out laughing.

“I was just kidding!” Adrien said quickly, sitting up properly and waving his hands to stop them. “Of course it’s not leather, it’s….”

“Adrien?” The door opened and Suluu hid, zipping into Peter’s shirt. Peter himself flipped across the room, landing silently, and shoved the suit printer under his desk.

Nathalie entered the room, dark circles under her eyes but dressed in her usual pantsuit. Adrien could detect a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead from his spot on the couch. She did not look good but he was thankful for the intrusion nonetheless.

“Nathalie! You’re back!” He stood up hastily, glueing his eyes to her. If she took a few more steps into the room, she’d surely see the machine which would set Peter in a spot of hot water. Peter, however, didn’t seem concerned. He was studying Nathalie with a rather curious look.

“I had some business to take care of,” she said stiffly. “It has come to my attention that you are currently receiving a fourteen point seven in your math class. That is unacceptable. We’ll have to devote more time to tutoring you in the subject if you with to maintain your average.”

“I can tutor him,” Peter suggested.

“Yeah, Peter can tutor me. He’s an expert in hypothetical physics,” Adrien said quickly.

“Theoretical.”

“And what are his qualifications to teach you?” Nathalie folded her schedule across her chest, wincing slightly as she did so.

“I studied under Tony Stark and Dr. Bruce Banner this past summer,” Peter said, his tone taking on that challenging edge it did whenever someone questioned his intellect. Adrien was beginning to think of it as his ‘genius voice’. “Although it has minimal bearing to this subject, I also studied certain aspects of neuroscience and the physics of time under Dr. Steven Strange. Any of these three men would be more than willing to affirm my story and vouch for my qualifications if you so desire.”

“Peter can do all the things we’re doing in school in his head.” Adrien gave Nathalie his best kitten eyes, doing his best to implore her to agree. “In seconds.”

“You have until the end of the month to raise this to a fifteen. If we don’t see an improvement, then we’ll have to cut down your-” her mouth twisted like she’d tasted something sour “-free time. Understood?”

“Yes Nathalie.” Adrien lowered his gaze to the floor until she’d left.

“Damn, what was all that about?” Peter pulled his machine back out, inspecting it to make sure his harsh shoving hadn’t damaged it, presumably. “Doesn’t a fourteen point seven round up to a fifteen anyways?”

“Do you even know how the grading system here works?”

“No.” Peter frowned and a second later his Spiderman mask was covering his face. “Hey Karen, can you access Collège Françoise Dupont’s files and tell me what my marks are?”

Adrien couldn’t hear his suit’s response, but a moment later the mask disappeared and Peter grinned at him. “I’ve got a twenty in everything.”

“Of course you do,” Adrien grumbled. “That means you’ve got perfect. You know, they literally never give those out. To most people, a twelve is good enough but not this household.”

“Okay, what mark do you want on your next math test?” Peter sat down in his chair and spun to face his computer, waking the screen up and opening up the command line interface.

“I mean, ideally, I want whatever mark will bring me up to a fifteen but math is my worst subject. I just don’t have a head for numbers.”

“Just do whatever on the test and I’ll go in later and change your grade. I could change it now but that’ll look suspicious, especially since Nathalie obviously monitors everything.”

“No, Peter, you are not hacking into the school’s database! You’re helping me study!” Adrien scolded him but Peter just laughed at him.

“I literally don’t even know how to teach you any of the stuff we’re learning in class! I do it all in my head, it’s easy! If you don’t get it, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Then why, pray tell, did you tell Nathalie you’d tutor me?”

“Because it looks like she’s going through drug withdrawal.” Peter sent away the little black box on his screen and frowned, almost like he was considering. “I should study the effects being a miraculous user has on the brain!”

“Can you focus for two seconds?” Adrien huffed. Adrien didn’t understand how his brain jumped about like that, from one topic to the next; drug withdrawal to miraculous within a split second.

“Focus on what?” Peter blinked at him, like he’d forgotten what they were talking about. And maybe he had. His attention was constantly wavering, like a flag in the breeze. “Oh right, my suit.”

Dumbfounded, Adrien watched as Peter walked over to the machine, pressing a button on its surface that opened the glass top right up. A fully formed Spiderman suit sat there waiting for him, its colours slightly brighter than his old one but no other noticeable differences.

Peter grabbed his spider pendant necklace off the desk and pressed it to the spider on his suit. Before Adrien’s very eyes, the suit dissolved into the necklace and Peter strung it back around his neck.

“Karen, set suit two as default suit, rename to Heat Resist with wsptv104 and compv606.” Adrien had no idea what those sets of numbers and letters meant, but Peter cracked his neck before shaking his arms out and letting the new Spidey suit stretch over him. The transformation was faster this time, covering Peter’s entire body within the blink of an eye. As soon as it was done, Peter jumped up and down, landing noiselessly, then ran up and down the room, as though he was a child trying on a new pair of trainers. Adrien bit back a grin at his own mental realization.

“What’d you say to going for a little run?” Peter flexed his fingers in front of himself, mask vanishing into the neckline, revealing his grin.

“I don’t know…,” Adrien said, shuffling his feet. “Nathalie is back now and she’s probably expecting us to get started on the math right away.”

“I’ll quiz you while we’re running. Suit up.”

He sighed before calling on Plagg who was rather offended to be roused from his slumber in Adrien’s hoodie pocket. Seconds later he was Chat Noir once again.

“We’ll be back in a bit, Su!” Peter was fully Spiderman once more as he balanced effortlessly on the window’s edge.

“Aren’t you bringing her to test out their compatibility?” Adrien glanced up at him.

“Nah, I won’t do that with you here. The less in my immediate vicinity to accidentally set fire to, the better. Your hickey is like, super visible with the suit, by the way. Just hope we don’t run into anyone with a camera.”

Adrien blushed, rubbing his neck as Spiderman leapt out the window, swinging off, a red and blue spot against the grey sky.

Marinette was putting the finishing touches on her holiday dress when her phone chimed. Her superhero phone, that was. She sighed, releasing a velvety sleeve, allowing it to hang back at the mannequin’s side as she grabbed her phone.

[ going for a little midday stroll with chat if you care to join ]

She turned her phone off without bothering to respond to Spiderman’s message, glancing at Tikki. Tikki was still mad at her after the events of the previous night, and Marinette had gotten an earful and a half about responsibility. The kwami was looking out the window, refusing to face her.

It was bad enough she’d had to keep her hair down and cover her neck with about four layers of makeup before she could even face her parents in the morning, even before she’d gotten her lecture from Tikki. And now she was almost dreading seeing Chat again. Not many words had been exchanged after…the previous night’s ‘events’ before they’d returned home and now Marinette had no idea how to act around him.

Deciding it was best to leave her kwami to glare out at the outside world, Marinette headed down to the bakery, leaving both her superhero phone and her sewing project behind. Maybe she just needed to spend a day being a normal girl, hanging out with her parents or Alya or something.

Like he’d been sent from the gods above, Peter Parker was in the bakery when Marinette entered. She made move to approach him before someone came up behind him and she froze, wondering if there was any way to surreptitiously slip back out the door.

Peter and Chat Noir were hanging out. Where was Spiderman? Maybe they’d left him outside? She didn’t quite know or care, because her heartbeat was erratically thudding in her ears.

“Marinette!” Peter waved to her, a brilliant smile on his face. Chat, who’d been examining some pastries, fixed her with his usual mischievous grin that forcibly shoved butterflies into her stomach.

She was Marinette, not Ladybug, and there was nothing but friendship between Marinette and Chat. She just had to remember that and act accordingly.

“Heyyyy guys!” She ignored her father’s questioning glance as she joined the two boys. “I wasn’t aware you two were…friends?”

“This is work sanctioned,” Peter said, grabbing a loaf of bread. “Spiderman is testing a new suit so I’ve got to hang around and observe. Chat here is just hanging out with Spiderman because he’s clingy.”

Chat glared. “I’m clingy? Spiderman’s practically got you on a leash.”

“It’s called having a job. I know you don’t understand the concept since you just put on that stupid suit and run around and pine after Ladybug, but some of us have professional responsibilities.” Peter shot him a narrow-eyed look as he moved towards the cash register. Chat made move to put his box of macarons too, but Peter batted his hand away.

“What? You always pay for my stuff!” Chat whined and Peter froze. Marinette cast a suspicious glance between the two. Were they just hanging out today or was there some kind of underlying connection? They certainly seemed comfortable enough to openly insult one another and pay for each other’s food.

Peter seemed to fumble for a moment before he was a picture of serene calm and control once more. “Yeah, I’ve paid for your stuff like, twice. You’re a big boy with your own bank account, so I think you can handle this one.”

Chat extracted a phone from his pocket, with much difficulty, and tapped it to the card machine when it was his turn to purchase. It was his superhero phone, undoubtedly, but Marinette was surprised to realize that he’d put his real bank information into it. He was really putting a lot of faith in the Stark security system.

“Well, that’ll be all for now. Thanks Sabine!” Peter gave Marinette’s mom a quick wave with the arm that wasn’t laden with baked goods as he and Chat turned to leave. “See you at school tomorrow, Marinette!”

“Bye Princess.” Chat gave her a little bow before he pushed open the door and stepped out onto the street, wrapping an arm around Peter’s waist before extending his baton and shooting them both up into the sky.

“Why’d he call you Princess?” Marinette’s mother wasted no time in asking once the boys were gone.

Marinette blinked slowly, trying to think of a reasonable excuse for why Chat Noir would call her Princess. “No idea,” was the best she could come up with.

“Those two are an interesting pairing,” her dad added, emerging from his prep area. “Although Peter and Spiderman are very close, so it makes sense that he knows Chat Noir by extension.”

“Why do you know more about my friends than me?”

“Peter and I are great friends.” Her dad folded his arms, affronted. “He brought me a signed photograph of Spiderman. He also got me marketing rights to a Spiderman-inspired cookie.”

“Okay, sure. I’m going to go for a walk.” Marinette grabbed her sketchbook before leaving the same way as the boys, grateful to just leave the house and get some fresh air. Unfortunately she didn’t have long to go before they crossed paths again. Her feet carried her to a spot behind the school where she’d usually go to work on sketches, but it seemed the spot had already been staked out.

She would’ve left right away, if it weren’t for the fact that Chat Noir was holding a flaming stick right under Spiderman, who was lounging on a web hammock he’d built for himself.

“What are you doing?” Marinette shrieked, running over before she could think rationally. Chat’s arm lifted as he turned to look at her, and she screamed as the flames from the stick caught on Spidey’s suit, sending the boy up in an inferno in seconds. Chat also screamed, dropping the stick on the ground where it sputtered out and scrambling backwards, his cat ears swivelling back to press flat against his skull.

“Where’s Peter?” Marinette yelled, looking around for the boy. Obviously, this was the sort of think Peter would consider the suit ‘not working’ and intervene, no?

“It’s fine.” Spiderman hadn’t even bothered to move from his spot on the hammock. “Peter’s up on a roof somewhere, monitoring my suit’s vitals. So far it’s conducting the heat energy as I hoped it would, and the webs aren’t burning or melting.” He tugged at the webbing of his hammock with one finger before releasing it. “My suit exudes a fine amount of oxygen around it, causing the fire to burn that up but not actually burn the suit itself. And if I think about it, I can make the fire go out.” He shut his Spidey eyes and a moment later the fire sputtered out.

“See?” He draped an arm across his forehead, swinging the hammock slightly.

“We had that under control,” Chat said. “Although I’m flattered you came to hangout.”

“God, read the room, Chat. She didn’t come to hangout she came to draw and we just happened to be here. That’s her sketchbook.”

Chat mouthed the words along with Spidey, rolling his eyes throughout his silent imitation. A second later, a web shot out from Spidey and flicked Chat’s tail, causing him to smack himself in the back of the head.

“How did you see that? Your eyes were closed!” Chat rubbed the back of his head, scowling.

“Easy. My Spidey senses let me know when someone is ruining my reputation,” Spiderman quipped with a detached interest.

“I’m going to go,” Marinette offered, jerking a thumb over her shoulder. Instantly two pairs of eyes focused on her.

“You don’t want to hangout, Princess?”

Marinette glanced at Spiderman. Hanging around him while she was Marinette was setting her on edge. It was only a matter of time before he slipped up and said something he wasn’t supposed to and gave her identity away to Chat, she was sure of it.

“No thanks, I’ve got to…uh…help my parents out at the bakery?”

“Is that a question?” Chat quirked an eyebrow.

“No?” Marinette cleared her throat. “I mean, no! I have to help them out!” She turned, doing an exaggerated walk away before running off down the street.

“You’re back early,” her father commented when Marinette pushed open the back door.

“Papa, I just went for a walk!” Marinette subconsciously made sure her hair was covering her neck, an action that did not go unnoticed by her dad.

“I hope you weren’t hanging out with that Chat Noir again.” He squinted at her. “I still haven’t forgiven him for what he did.”

Marinette sighed. He was most likely referring to the time when she’d lied to Chat, confessing her – at the time – fake love for him to prevent him from figuring out her identity. Chat, ever the loyally devoted, had turned her down in favour of his love of Ladybug, causing her father to be akumatized. Marinette had never been mad at Chat for the incident, but her dad had the tendency to bring it up every time his name popped up in conversation.

“I forgave Chat a long time ago.” She moved past him, heading towards the steps. “I think you should too.”

“Peter says I should keep an eye on him. Called him a rascal.”

“Peter just says whatever he thinks you want to hear.” Marinette smiled at him.

“No, Peter says whatever you need to hear. The kid’s super perceptive and he’s got a ton of connections. I’m telling you, Mari, he’s more than just pretty words and a bright face.”

“He’s also a genius,” Marinette laughed, disregarding her dad’s words as she climbed up the stairs to her house.

Tikki was where she’d left her, but it seemed she was done with the silent treatment. “Where have you been?”

“I went to go draw,” Marinette replied, sitting down and flipping open her sketchbook. “But Chat Noir and Spiderman were at my usual spot testing out Spiderman’s new suit. It’s either more flammable than before or less I’m not really sure.” She recounted what she’d seen to Tikki, who looked confused.

“I can’t think of why he’d do that.”

“Spiderman’s a special one, that’s for sure.” Marinette turned her attention to her sketch pad, carefully beginning the general anatomical base.

“Who are you drawing?” Tikki settled on her shoulder to watch.

“Chat.” Marinette wasn’t able to stop the smile that spread across her face. Her kwami noticed it immediately.

“When are you going to tell him you love him?”

“What!?” She accidentally pressed a little to hard on the paper, snapping her pencil tip right off as she spun around to face Tikki.

“Marinette, it’s obvious you have very strong feelings for Chat Noir! You can’t keep denying it to yourself.”

“I’m not denying it, I just don’t want to say anything of the sort to someone I barely know.”

“Don’t do that,” Tikki chastised.

“Do what?”

“Talk about Chat Noir like he’s a stranger. I know for a fact that you two are intimately acquainted.”

Marinette flushed at her words, avoiding her kwami’s stare as she returned her attention to the drawing. “He’d not a stranger, but I don’t even know his name and he doesn’t know mine. And I like it that way, don’t get me wrong, but I’d feel weird saying ‘I love you’ to someone I don’t even know the name of.”

“Chat has told you he loves you multiple times.” That was the understatement of the century. Chat told her constantly how in love with her he was and how he couldn’t wait to unmask her.

“That’s Chat. He’s on a different agenda.”

“Seems to me like you’re both on the same page.”

Marinette set her pencil down. “I honestly don’t think this is the time for worrying about this. What I’m worried about is being left out of the loop. Spiderman obviously knows a lot more than me and he’s sharing it with Master Fu, who then usually shares it with me, but he’s gone silent! I visit him and he’s always either away or won’t tell me anything useful! I don’t want to blindly trust Spiderman and hope that everything just magically works out! Chat and I have been fighting against the Papillon for years and all of a sudden Spidey just swoops in and knows what to do and…and…and – argh!” She buried her head in her hands.

“I lo- really like Chat, but it’s distracting me from what’s really important. And what is important is stopping the Papillon.”

“I think your feelings are just as important as stopping the Papillon,” Tikki said softly. “Remember, the most important thing going into battle with the Papillon is having a good handle on your emotions. If you don’t understand yourself or ignore them, all the more easily they’re get out of your control and be weaponized against you.”

Sighing, Marinette put her sketchbook aside and grabbed her diary. “I’ll write them out like I usually do but no peeking.”

“I promise!” Tikki zipped away into the loft, leaving Marinette to write whatever she needed to get off her chest. Marinette didn’t even know what she needed to write. The page remained painstakingly blank for a good few minutes. But finally, finally, she wrote down a short sentence. So short, only seven words, but holding a colossal weight.

‘I am in love with Chat Noir.’

Marinette woke up for school the next day with butterflies in her stomach. They hadn’t gone away since her written confession the day before. In fact, the sentence had been repeating itself in her brain again and again.

I am in love with Chat Noir. Chat Noir, I love you. I love you. I’m in love with you.

She was right on time for class and she barely registered that Peter was standing in front of the teacher’s desk, mildly blocking her regular route to her desk, her mantra consuming all her conscious thoughts. Naturally, she tripped over the back of Peter’s boots.

His arm shot out to catch her, quickly rightening her back on her feet.

“I’m in love with you,” Marinette said before she could even think of what she was saying. The whole class laughed behind her but Peter, thankfully, seemed unfazed.

“No you’re not. Got a lot on your mind?”

“So much.” She shook her head, carefully extracting herself from his grip and heading to her seat. She saw Adrien, Nino, and Alya all exchange a confused look she chose to ignore as she took her spot.

“Please don’t tell me he’s your mystery guy,” Alya whispered.

“He’s not, don’t worry. Plus, I learned the answer to your earlier question. ‘Yes’.” She winked.

It took Alya a moment, right up until her name on the attendance list, when she suddenly let out an ear-piercing shriek. “Mari! You didn’t! I’m- I didn’t think you had it in you!” She gripped Marinette in a hug that Marinette thought was rather undeserved. Once again, everyone’s eyes were on her.

“I’m not in love with Peter,” Marinette said loudly, eyeing Nino with a piercing stare until he looked away.

“Then why’d you say that in front of the whole class?” Nino muttered. Alya aimed a balled-up piece of paper at his head.

“Alya, Marinette, do you two need to step outside for a moment?” Mme. Bustier did not look impressed as she addressed the two girls.

“Is that an option?” Alya asked at the same time Marinette said ‘no’.

Marinette resisted the urge to hide behind her bag for the rest of the day.

After a long day at school and an even longer evening helping in the bakery, Ladybug was finally a part of the Parisian skyline once more. Marinette took deep gulps of the chilly air, admiring the gently snowfall that had begun. Large, fluffy flakes were already sticking to the ground and most likely her hair as she swung along.

She was early, as usual, but she didn’t have anything better to do. At least, she didn’t, until she saw Adrien Agreste making his way through the snow, bundled up in a winter coat but entirely alone.

“What are you doing out at this time of night without your bodyguard?” Marinette whispered to herself, making the partially subconscious decision to follow him. Just to see where he was going, make sure he wasn’t going to be in any trouble.

To her surprise, he stopped off at her parent’s bakery, of all places. He emerged a few minutes later, holding a box of macarons and wearing a soft smile. He looked excited about something, and she followed him all the way to the park. Setting the box on a bench, Adrien checked his phone quickly before darting behind a tree. Now that was curious behaviour indeed.

Marinette had half a mind to get a closer look before a flash of green light lit up the area behind the tree and a heartbeat later, Chat Noir leapt out from behind the tree, grabbing the box of macarons before running off.

And Marinette? Well, Marinette was frozen in place atop the roof she was perched on. There was no way. No way that Adrien was Chat Noir.

But as she landed in the park and checked behind the tree, there was no sign of Adrien, and Marinette was forced to confront reality. There was no way. But there was also no other explanation.

She was tempted to return home and have a good cry over it, but she knew if she didn’t show up, Spiderman would go looking for her. So, sucking it up the best she could, Marinette swung her way to their usual meeting place, numb to the winter chill and anything that wasn’t her thoughts.

Luckily, Chat wasn’t there yet, but Spiderman was. He was staring out at the snowfall but turned the second he heard her land, despite the snow muffling her footsteps. His large eyes took in her expression, her body language, her twisting hands. And she just stood there, focusing on holding back the tears.

“Are you okay?” That was all it took for the waterworks to start. Hot tears, in a shocking contrast to her cold skin, burned their way down her cheeks as she shook her head, not trusting herself to say anything. But then a realization struck her and a bolt of white-hot anger flared up inside and she stormed forwards, shoving Spiderman as hard as she could. He didn’t even move.

“You knew! You knew and you didn’t tell me!” She yelled at him, swiping her tears away. “You let me make a fool of myself over him and you didn’t tell me anything! You even sent fucking Peter Parker to me to help out with my love problems when you knew that they were the same person! You’ve known this whole time!” She weakly swung her fists at him and Spiderman caught them in his own hands, holding them in front of his chest.

“How’d you find out?” His voice was like the air that surrounded them, chilly and distant. The usual childlike happiness that laced his words was gone. Silence surrounded them, the kind of silence that snowfall brings. The sort that makes the world seem all the more larger and lonely.

“I saw him transform,” Marinette said, her voice trembling. “I saw Adrien out and I thought he might be in trouble because he’s never allowed to go anywhere at this time of night, especially not in this snowfall, and before I knew it he was transforming and it just can’t be him! It wasn’t supposed to be him, Spiderman.”

Spiderman released her fists, apparently trusting her not to swing at him anymore, and turned away. “I’m sorry, Marinette. I didn’t want you to find out this way either.”

“I can’t do this.” Marinette tugged at her ponytails, wanting to rake her hands through her hair but couldn’t. It was all too much, all too sudden.

Spiderman turned back towards her, eyes searching her face. “What are you saying?”

“You don’t understand. He thinks he loves me. I can’t…I have to break up with him, Spidey. I can’t lie to him.”

“Why? Why would you break up with him?” Spidey’s eyes widened, then shrunk rapidly. Marinette could feel his hurt, though she wasn’t sure why. Perhaps not hurt, but disappointment. “You know him. You know all he’s ever wanted was to be accepted by people, to receive the kind of love he shows others! You can’t fault him for being who he is, Ladybug. It’s not okay.”

She pursed her lips at the mention of her superhero name. She definitely didn’t feel like Ladybug in that moment, with her runny nose and tears and red eyes, but she could tell that Spidey was trying to project a certain sense of responsibility onto her. “He won’t love me for who I am underneath. I’ve tried and he just wasn’t interested.”

“You can’t blame him for that!” Spiderman yelled, a rare occurrence, and Marinette flinched. But Spiderman got himself back under control quickly, breathing deeply before speaking again. “He was in love with your other half and he was loyal to that love. Love means you see that darkness, you see that struggle within the other person and you stick by their side regardless. Adrien has seen you through all your ups and downs and he loves you regardless. Do you think he’d love you less if it turns out you don’t wear a red and black suit all the time? Does that sound like Adrien to you?”

Marinette had to admit it didn’t sound like Adrien, but she didn’t know Adrien anymore. She couldn’t picture him side-by-side with the hero, let alone as the same person. She didn’t know what went on in his head. It was funny how her world could be tilted on its axis so quickly, like that. That morning she’d woken up, so certain she was in love with Chat Noir and there was a chance he could love her back as Marinette, now all that was gone.

“I don’t want things to change,” she admitted, knowing it was already too late. “I want everything to go back to the way it was before this whole mess.”

“You can’t resist change, Ladybug.” Spiderman’s tone held no sympathy. “You cannot be an immovable cliff against the rough ocean of change because in the end it’ll just wear away at you until there is nothing left. Change is neither good nor bad until you react to it. You’re convinced this is bad, you’re afraid of rejection, but then again, is it not what you wanted?”

Spiderman’s mask gave away nothing as he disappeared before her very eyes. Marinette didn’t know where he went, she’d blinked and he’d vanished. He could’ve swung away, leapt off the roof, but in the dark and the snow it was impossible to tell. All she knew was that the world felt so much more vast now that she was alone on that rooftop.

“Hey Buginette.” She didn’t have a chance to wipe away her tears before Chat was landing in the snow, the flakes clinging to his hair. He was holding the macaron box in one hand and a red rose in the other but Marinette couldn’t focus on any of that. Instead, she was staring at his face, imagining Adrien’s face looking at her. It was easier than she’d expected. Only now she was realizing the familiar sparkle in his eyes, his shy smile she more often associated with Adrien than Chat, the gentle way with which he called out her pet name.

He got closer and although all she wanted to do was run away, Marinette stayed glued to her place, eyes dropping to her feet.

“What’s wrong? I brought you macarons! From the bakery. I know you like them.” He moved to open the box and Marinette reached out, placing her hand on the lid.

“Stop.” She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes, uncertain of what to say but certain she had to say something.

That, at least, got his attention. He set the box down, placing the rose on top of it, and devoted all his attention to her. The poor boy. She’d somehow tricked him into thinking she was the one he loved. When in reality it could never be her. Would never be her.

“Did something happen?” His voice, ever so gentle, set off another bout of tears. He moved to wrap his arm around her and she sidestepped carefully, pretending not to notice the way his arm dropped back to his side.

“I saw you,” she managed. “I saw you, Adrien.”

He sucked in a breath, obviously prepared to state his case, but Marinette interjected.

“I didn’t mean to, but I saw you walking along and it was dark and I thought you might be in trouble since you were all alone. So I followed you to the park and….” She dissolved into tears, unable to continue.

Chat, no, Adrien was silent for a moment, probably thinking of how to convince her that it wasn’t him, that he couldn’t possibly be a model. And she hoped he would. She had never wanted to be wrong about something so desperately in her whole life. Despite the fact that Spiderman had already practically confirmed it.

“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted. “Every time I thought about our reveal, how it would go down, I imagined this going a lot differently. Preferably with a lot less tears and a lot more swooning.” He paused, looking at her hopefully, but Marinette didn’t so much as crack a smile. “So, uh, my name is Adrien. Adrien Agreste, but I’m assuming you already knew that given that you…said my name and everything.” He scratched the back of his neck and the move was so painfully Adrien. Marinette bit back a choked sob and sat down in the snow.

“Oh, we’re sitting now.” He sat beside her, eyes never leaving her face. “Okay, I know this isn’t how you or I wanted to find out, but look on the bright side! We can get the reveals all out of the way now, then we can continue from there. We don’t just have to be a duo as Ladybug and Chat Noir now, we can be together as Adrien and….”

She just shook her head. Shook her head and hoped he understood what she meant.

“My Lady? You’re not revealing yourself?” His tone carefully veiled his disappointment, but Marinette could detect it, just below the surface.

“I’m sorry.” She couldn’t look at him. “I can’t do this.”

“What’s this?”

“I can’t do you and me. I can’t do us. I can’t do our relationship. I’m really sorry.”

“But My Lady, I love-”

“Don’t say that,” she cut in. “You don’t.” She could see his brain whirring, putting together the information she was giving him until something seemed to click.

“Did I do something to you? As Adrien? Because if I did, I’m really really sorry and I’ll do literally anything to make it right, I know I’m not always the best with social cues and everything but-”

“No,” she shook her head, beginning to feel like a bobble head. A crying, snotty, sad excuse for a bobble head. “No, just…now I know with certainty that you don’t love me under the mask. That you can’t love me under the mask.”

“Is this because I’m a model, or rich, or whatever? Because that all means nothing to me, Ladybug. I’d leave it all behind for you.” When she didn’t respond he plowed on, his desperation beginning to creep through into his tone. “Am I not what you were expecting because I’m sorry. If Adrien isn’t good enough for you, please let me know what I have to do to be good enough for you.”

“Oh chaton.” Marinette stared into his green eyes, those green eyes she’d spent years swimming in. And now she was drowning. “Anyone else. Anyone but Adrien. I’m not good enough for Adrien.”

“You don’t believe that.” His voice dropped to a whisper and it occurred to her, somewhere in the back of her mind, that he was on the verge of tears. “My Lady, you’re the only person I could ever want. I’ve spent ages trying to be good enough for you. You’re perfect and I’m just-”

“That’s just it!” Marinette interjected. “I’m not perfect, and I can’t be perfect all the time! And when you find out who I am, who I am underneath the mask and the magic and the fake courage, you’ll be disappointed. And I never wanted to disappoint you.”

She stood up, reaching for her yoyo. Chat grabbed her wrist, his eyes pleading.

“Please, please can’t we work this out? Can’t we talk about it?”

“I’m sorry. I need some time to think. Time away from all this. I’m so sorry Chat, Adrien, whoever you are, but it’s over.”

His loose fingers released her wrist and he stumbled backwards, like he’d been burned. Marinette didn’t look back, couldn’t look back, as she flung her yoyo out, uncertain of where it would lead her, only knowing she wanted to be as far away as possible. She didn’t stop until nothing surrounded her but the darkness of the world and those cold snowflakes. The cold had never seemed so synonymous with loneliness like it did then.

Adrien couldn’t stop the tears that fell, nor could he control his knees that gave out as he sunk to the rooftop. The snow had soaked through the macaron box, leaving them soggy but he ignored this. He wasn’t going to eat them now anyways.

He barely registered his mouth forming the word ‘cataclysm’ before he was pressing his hand to the rose, sandwiching it against the box. They both dissolved under his destructive touch and it felt like his heart dissolved with it. He couldn’t recall feeling this empty, this numb, since his mother’s funeral. Five minutes must have passed, maybe more, he couldn’t tell, but he felt Plagg release his transformation and bury himself inside Adrien’s jacket. For once, the cold was bothering Adrien. It bit into him, and it seemed like no matter how much he tried to burrow into his jacket the cold followed him.

The snow was heavy now, borderline blizzard, and Adrien struggled to stand. He couldn’t stay out there, he knew that, but now that the supercharged energy had left him, he couldn’t bring himself to move more than a few inches. He’d already been out there for too long.

For once, the truth was blatantly obvious. His Lady didn’t love him back. She knew who he was and she didn’t love him back.

And Adrien gave up.

Perhaps dying of the cold wasn’t a bad way to go. After all, all he had to do was fall asleep. All he had to do was let go and fall asleep and this nightmare would be over.

He’d resigned himself to this fate, laying his head against the snow, and gradually allowed his eyes to close before he heard the soft crunch of feet on snow.

“I hope you’re not planning on dying on me, Agreste.” The voice sounded like it was far away and underwater as Adrien struggled to open his eyes. A pair of glowing boots stood a few inches away from his face, the snow melting around the area that they touched. Heat was radiating off this stranger and Adrien tried to move towards it, but it was like his limbs were frozen.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” A pair of strong arms scooped Adrien up, bringing him closer to that precious heat source. His head lolled back, the world blackening around his vision.

“She doesn’t love me,” he managed, although he wasn’t quite sure who didn’t love him anymore. He wasn’t sure who he was or how he’d wound up there. All he knew was that this stranger was nice and warm and he was going to take him somewhere. Home? What a funny word, home. Home meant love. The stranger must have been mistaken. Home did not mean love for Adrien. House? Home meant family. Did he have a family? Were they wondering where he’d gone? No, someone didn’t love him. That must’ve been them. They’d left him out there. Maybe this stranger loved him. Could Adrien stay with them? They could be a home. Such a funny thing it was, to love.

Love, love, love. All Adrien ever did was love. Love with nothing in return. Except this stranger. This stranger loved him, Adrien was sure of it. This stranger was home. They had no further to travel. Home was right there.

“No sense dying over it,” the stranger replied, but Adrien was gone. The world faded to black and he was once again all alone.