Chapter 2
ERIK
We keep glancing looks at each other while we’re playing as if it’s our little secret. We counteract each other’s moves as if it were a dance. I don’t know who is winning and I don’t care, these games were never about winning it was about us. Charles and I, our minds creating a trap to ensnare the other with our enigma of chess moves. I couldn’t say which of us was better, we’ve always been equally matched. We never kept score of who won, it’s always been about the strategy of the game, about the pulse in my throat when Charles made an impressive play.
A rook moved then a pawn, our brains desperately trying to decipher the other's next move. Charles and I learned how to read each other through chess, I can always tell when he feels stuck, when he’s impressed by his own move, when he thinks he’s got me beat. Although he does have me at a disadvantage given that he can read thoughts, but he’s never used his gifts to win. Before I know it, the sun is setting over the Seine, setting the world on fire. Charles eyes are piercing, the blue stunningly contrasted with the orange and red sky behind him. He catches me staring at him and my cheeks flush. I want to tell him about the years I was on my own. Anger the only thing keeping me alive; that and the thought of his eyes were the only things that kept me sane. The nights when my dreams are plagued with the ghosts of all those I’ve lost I picture his face, as if to remind myself that there is good in the world. But I don’t tell him this, I’m afraid of what he’ll say, I’m afraid if I do it may exhaust his patience with me. He’s already agreed to stay with me although not verbally so I’m afraid to press any issues of the heart. We haven’t talked the only sound has been the clink of our chess pieces, we normally have our best talks over a game of chess. My distracted thoughts affect my playing and before I know it Charles check mates me.
“You didn’t have to go easy on me,” His tone is lighthearted. A memory submerges in my mind of a game from lifetimes ago on a plane where he asked me to go easy on him. I offer my hand to him, my sign of good-sportmen ship signaling a game well played.
---
“Will you walk with me?” Charles asks after we finished our coffee and payed for the bill. I almost point out that he can’t in fact walk but given that I value my life I choose against it.
We move together down the crowded street side by side; I rest my hand on the back of his chair. He stops beside a bench and I take a seat looking over the river. I hold my hands in my lap fidgeting with a paper clip in my pocket making it furl and unfurl like a snake. Charles reaches for me his hands reaching for my own. I snap my head up looking him in the eye. *Are you sure?* I think my thoughts transcending into his mind. He nods a shimmer of something I can’t read flashes across his face, I tentatively let him take my hand in his. His hand feels thin and small in mine. My hand has been roughened by years of work and hard labor. I rest my hand in his afraid to put any pressure as if it might snap this fragile dream.
“Erik. For a long time, this is all I ever wanted.” he looks at me, a wistful smile spreading across his rosy lips. My heart melts, I soften into his touch.
“I’m sorry, I wasted so much time fighting you Charles. I’m so sorry.”
CHARLES
His apology takes me aback the Erik I knew was always too stubborn to admit he was wrong, we both were.
“I’m sorry too, I should have listened to you my friend,” he squeezes my hand in response.
“No, you were right, you were right all along. I’m tired of hurting people I’m tired of causing pain.” I can feel his shame in my own throat, and it hurts me to see him in such pain. I think I can forgive him; I think I knew all along that I could, it might take a while for us to get used to each other, but I think I can trust him.
“I’m not like you Charles, you dedicate your life to fixing everything, but everything seems to break around me, and I want to try to be better to be more like you.”
“Darling.” The word comes out before I can stop it. It sticks like toffee on my tongue, but it seems to fit, he fits the word. “Darling you know it’s not that simple. I’ve hurt people too, I hurt Raven I hurt Jean and countless others.” The images of Raven’s and Jean’s death flash in my mind I can still see it clear as day as if it was etched into the back of my eyelids. “And you don’t break everything, I’ve seen you do good, I’ve seen you save lives.” Erik looks down at his shoes, he’s holding onto my hand with both of his own now, I can feel him wanting my words to be true, I can tell he doesn’t believe me, but it is true. Erik has always done what he thought was right, what he thought would make the world a better place.
*We’re not perfect, Erik,* I say in his mind. He leans into my words comforted by my familiar presence in his conscious. *We’re human you and I, we may have evolved but we are still human. We are flawed and we’re cracked but that does not mean we’re hopeless.*
*Always one for the dramatic speeches.* Erik teases but I know my words have comforted him, that he feels more settled into himself because of what I’ve said. I’m trying to convince him as well as myself that what I said was true. He shifts so he can rest his head on my shoulder, which is difficult given the arm of the bench is creating a wide birth between my chair and his body. He’s never touched me like this, it has been so long since he’s let his guard down around me physically and mentally. I press my lips against his forehead, and we sit there our hands in each other watching lights dance on the river. The spray of water and smell of salt so reminiscent of a long time ago on another beach. Cuba feels so long ago, we are completely different people then we were than, and we can finally find peace with one another.
ERIK
I feel more alive than I have in years, the world seems to have finally realigned itself in a way that I can make sense of. It’s as if the world has finally stopped spinning long enough for me to get my first breath of fresh air in a long time. Charles' cheek rests against my head as we lean into each other, I for once feel safe, the safest I’ve felt in a long time. I’ve spent my whole life on the run but finally I get this moment. Charles’ hand is clasped in both my own, I don’t even mind the arm of the bench digging into my side as long as it means being closer to Charles, a friend that I’ve needed for a very long time.
“Where do we go from here,” I whisper afraid to startle the earth into motion again.
I can feel Charles' smile against my own skin.
“We can go anywhere we want.” We can both feel the endless opportunities stretching out in front of us, we can go anywhere. The honk of a car shakes me from the moment, I lift my head from Charles' shoulder, nearly smacking my head against his in the process.
“We should probably get going it’s getting late.” I say noting the darkness that seems to have draped the city without either of our notice. Charles glances at a watch on his wrist I can’t help but wonder if he shares my same feelings of disappointment at the sudden end to this quiet moment. “Do you have a place to stay?” I ask Charles.
“Yes, I’m staying at a little bed and breakfast a few blocks from here.”
“I’m glad you’ve come somewhat prepared.” I say nervously snapping the paper clip in my pocket.
“Well I didn’t just pack my bags for Paris without some hint of an idea of what I’d do when I got here,” he jokes knowing that’s exactly what I did. “We aren’t likely to get a cab at this time of night, are you alright with walking?” Oh, Charles always the gentleman.
“I’ll be fine you said it wasn’t far right? And this is Paris the city of light, I’ve heard it’s more beautiful at night.” I grab my chess board, and the two of us make our way down the cobbled streets of Paris.