Drowsily lying on Fade's lap as the Turk read a book, Neon realised she didn't know when it began. She just suddenly realised one day. But, thinking back, she could pinpoint three specific moments amongst several others that would maybe let her figure it out.
~~~
"Sage and Reyna are both wrong."
Neon looked up in surprise, her powers spiking for a second due to her surprise. She had been trying to release a concentrated stream of electricity by 'channelling her anger' like Reyna had advised her to earlier, except her radiance had only come out in brief spurts instead of a stream.
While Neon was fine with the brief, concentrated bolts, her suppressor unfortunately was designed to prevent electricity levels higher than a certain voltage to go off, hence why she had to practice.
Whipping her head around quickly, Neon finally identified the speaker in Fade. The Turk was leaning against the wall in the corner of the training room, arms crossed. Neon wasn't sure how long she had been there, whether she'd already been there when Neon had arrived or if she had just silently walked in.
"It's not about controlling your emotions or releasing them completely, but regulating their intensity. Anger itself isn't what gives you that massive burst of electricity, but the intensity of that anger. If you can keep your emotions under control, then you can keep your powers under control," Fade explained.
She walked forward, and Neon had to fight to keep still as Fade approached. It wasn't that she didn't like her, well, she didn't, but she didn't know why Fade was getting closer in the first place. She rather liked their previous distance, especially when Neon was feeling jumpy. She didn't want to shock Fade, despite being adverse to her presence in the Protocol.
"But once you can master your powers, you don't need emotions anymore." Fade summoned her horrible nightmare amalgamation, letting it wander around the training room. "It'll just flow through you."
Neon stared after the black, ghost-like creature, the way Fade effortlessly turned it left and right, floating up and down before making it disappear with just a snap. It almost made her jealous how easily Fade could utilise her radiance.
"Come on," Fade encouraged. "Try it."
"Can you...move away a bit?" Neon asked, fighting to keep the anxiety from her voice. "I don't want to zap you."
Fade gave her an unreasonably soft smile, one that almost felt comforting and reassuring, then took several paces back.
Neon turned away from Fade and thought about what she'd said for a second. She tried to keep her emotions more stable rather than trying to overload on all of them immediately, then let go of her powers again.
To Neon's surprise, her radiance was unleashed in a steady stream that lasted long enough for her to recover from her surprise and direct around. A crackling, sizzling sound filled the air as she started directing the electricity in circles, trying not to burn the wooden beams that supported the whole structure. She'd nearly made it collapse once, already.
But it seemed all good things had to come to an end, as she felt her powers start to burn her.
With a surprised wince, Neon stopped shooting her electricity and instead turned to glance at Fade.
The Turk had a proud, approving smile on her face as she said "Good job, Neon. That's exactly it. You'll be a menace during missions."
~~~
Slowly munching through her sandwich, Neon couldn't help but glance at the door every few seconds.
She'd been doing that for the past few minutes now, ever since she'd arrived and found Fade wasn't in her usual spot.
Although Neon usually opted to sit with Jett and talk about gossip or otherwise, she tried to make it a point to take a few minutes to say hi to Fade in the morning and even stand with her if Jett was running late.
Ever since Fade had shown Neon how to control her powers, Neon often tried to ask her about her own experiences or her thoughts on some things Neon had been trying out herself.
The Turk didn't seem to mind, so Neon kept doing it.
This was the first time Neon remembered that she'd started her breakfast before Fade, and for some reason it made her concerned.
As she took her last bite, Neon glanced back at the door again. Still no Fade. Maybe she was busy? Neon spotted the mug she usually used still sitting, clean and washed, next to the drying rack. That was strange, Fade was usually never seen without her mug of coffee unless she was on a mission, leaving for a mission, or coming back from a mission.
A brilliant idea suddenly came to Neon's mind as she stared at the mug, and her sudden excitement caused a loose spark to come off, drawing Jett's attention.
"Alright, spill it, what have you been staring at for the past minute?" the Korean asked as she finished her own breakfast.
"I'm going to make Fade coffee," Neon announced, standing up and heading for the coffee machine.
Admittedly, she had absolutely no clue how it worked since she'd never gotten used to the taste of caffeine, but she was pretty sure it wouldn't be hard to figure out.
"What? Why?" Jett asked, evidently mystified as she trailed behind Neon. "And why for Fade?"
"I told you," Neon sighed as she found a cup and started reading the labels on the buttons. "She's really nice and knowledgeable on controlling radiance. I just want to thank her."
"By making her coffee," Jett deadpanned. "Don't you think it's bad for her or something? She drinks an ungodly amount of that stuff."
Nonetheless, she brushed Neon aside and started up the coffee machine. "Do you even know how she likes to take her coffee?" the Korean asked as she grabbed Fade's mug.
"Um," Neon hesitated, trying to recall if she'd ever seen Fade put something in her coffee. She usually only saw Fade with an already brewed cup in hand. Very rarely did she see her in the middle of preparing one.
"So you want to make her coffee, except you don't know how to operate the machine and you don't know what she takes with her coffee," Jett said as she rolled her eyes. "Great going, Neon."
"Well, do you know how she takes her coffee?" Neon shot back.
"Yeah, she drinks it black," Jett answered confidently. "You can smell it a mile away and it's disgusting."
Neon glared at the smug smirk on Jett's face as she picked up the cup of freshly brewed coffee.
"What would you do without me?" Jett laughed. "Do you need me to bring it to her, too?"
"Shut up, no," Neon grumbled. Then genuinely, she added "Thanks, Jett."
"You're welcome," Jett answered. "But you're totally telling me what's up between you two after this."
"Fine, fine," Neon agreed, giving up. Jett had been asking ever since Neon had mentioned the impromptu lesson Fade had given.
The walk was short, and Neon was standing outside Fade's door before she'd figured out what she wanted to say.
Unwilling to be caught hesitating outside Fade's door, Neon followed an impulse and just knocked.
As soon as her hand struck the door, Neon instantly regretted it and was almost prepared to run away when she heard Fade call "Coming," from inside the room, sounding tired and a bit annoyed.
Stiffening slightly, Neon watched as Fade opened the door a crack and peered out, before opening it fully to reveal her wearing plain black pajamas and her hair a mess.
Squinting down at Neon with a frown, Fade asked "Neon? What do you need?"
Neon shifted, suddenly feeling awkward. "Um, I just thought you'd want your coffee," she finally said. "Because you didn't come to breakfast. But I totally get if you're tired and want to sleep, and I'm sorry if I woke you up. I can just toss the coffee, if-"
"Neon," Fade interrupted, an amused gleam in her eyes. "Don't worry about it, I'm glad you woke me, and thank you for the coffee. It's very much appreciated."
"Oh," Neon said, a bit dumbly, staring in confusion at Fade's outstretched hand.
"Oh!" Neon realised a second too late Fade wanted her coffee, and quickly thrust the steaming cup into her hand.
"Actually, Jett brewed it," Neon mumbled. "She knows how to work the machine and she knew how you like your coffee."
"But the gesture is yours, isn't it?" Fade asked.
Neon glanced up at her and nodded.
"So thank you, Neon, for thinking of me," Fade said.
"Yeah, er, no problem," Neon offered, giving her best smile. "I'll, uh, be going back to Jett now. Enjoy?"
"Thank you," Fade answered.
Right before the door closed, Neon thought she recognised the gaze in Fade's eyes. That soft, reassuring look that made Neon relax slightly and feel unjudged despite her awkwardness.
Neon returned to Jett with those eyes etched in her mind.
~~~
A battlefield probably wasn't supposed to feel exhilarating and freeing, but probably the average person on the battlefield doesn't have dangerous electric powers they've been suppressing.
Charging forward, Neon tried to focus on what Fade had taught her months ago regarding controlling the intensity of her emotions.
While she really thought she'd gotten a good grasp of her powers, Neon was still careful because she didn't want to cause a power outage or release uncontrolled bolts of lightning. Both had already happened once, and she didn't want to cause more trouble.
Releasing a stream of electricity, Neon practically fried the first unfortunate victim alive before managing to turn her powers down a notch and aim for the other enemies.
Wincing at her mistake, Neon briefly prayed for the man and redoubled her efforts in keeping her radiance under check. That meant not freaking out over how she'd tasered a man dead.
Her concentration didn't last very long. Neon spotted a man climbing on top of the truck of radianite that they had intercepted, taking aim with a simple, lightweight sniper rifle.
Some insane, curious urge drove Neon to glance at his target before attacking him, and Neon nearly screamed when she saw Fade with her prowlers and nightmare wreaking havoc on a small group of the thieves.
Instead, she flew forwards and fired a bolt of electricity at the sniper, sending him flying off the truck and striking the ground hard, but not before the fateful bang of the sniper rifle rang through the air.
Neon didn't spare the man even a single glance, dashing over to where her unofficial third mentor had fallen, screaming and swearing, nightmare creatures dissipating in an instant.
Vaguely, Neon was glad she still had her suppressor on. Without it, she was pretty sure she would've instantly deep fried everyone within a two street radius with how scared she was.
Dragging Fade away from the battlefield and towards more relative safety, Neon kept repeating "Fade, Fade, can you hear me? Stay awake, Fade, please, I'm sorry..."
There was a desperate tightness in her chest, a scared, rapid pounding from her heart as she hoped for an answer from the whimpering woman. She had to get Sage out of the fight and to Fade as soon as possible.
Once they were far enough that the sounds of gunfire had faded slightly, Neon looked around for Fade's wound.
She finally found it in her ribs, breaking past skin and flesh and probably cracking the bones nearby.
Each shaky breath Fade heaved in caused her body to tremble with pain, and Neon didn't know what to do at all.
"Fade?" she repeated anxiously. Although she was clearly in pain, it didn't sound like Fade was struggling to breathe, which Neon took as a good sign. "I'm going to call Sage, alright? Don't die, please, Fade."
Fumbling for her microphone with shaky hands, Neon called "Sage? Fade's hurt. I don't know if it's dangerous or not."
There was a brief, tense silence before Sage's comms crackled to life. "I'm coming, Neon. Is she breathing? Is her pulse stable?"
"Um, yeah, she's still breathing, not choking. Let me check her pulse."
Neon almost felt like she was invading Fade's personal space as she reached forward, gripping the Turk's hand as she felt for a pulse. Babum, babum, babum.
"Yeah, it's stable," Neon reported, relieved.
Fade let out a weak chuckle. "Just a flesh wound," she grunted. "You didn't need to be so worried."
Neon didn't get a chance to answer, to yell at Fade and tell her she literally got shot and was screaming, as Sage spoke once more.
"I see you," she said.
Glancing around, Neon was able to force herself to relax a bit more when she saw Sage hurrying over to them.
Healing orb in hand, the wound in Fade's side slowly stitched itself back up until only a faint scar remained.
Fade winced as she sat back up, clutching her side for a second as she was gripped by phantom pain. "Thanks," she said.
"Come when you're ready to fight," Sage told them. "I should go back."
As she left, Neon returned her gaze to Fade, who was still holding on to her side.
"You can go too," Fade said. "I just need a moment."
Neon sat down next to Fade. "I'll wait for you," she said.
Fade seemed to study her for a second, intense heterochromatic eyes putting her under enough scrutiny to make Neon self conscious, before the Turk just nodded. "Thank you," she said.
Neon just hummed, tentatively resting her head on Fade's shoulder before getting more comfortable when Fade didn't react negatively.
She was just too tired from all the stress and worry and finally relief over the past twenty minutes.
~~~
Drowsily lying on Fade's lap as the Turk read a book, Neon realised she truly didn't know when it began. But she realised she was falling in love with Fade.