A little known fact about Tony Stark is that he’s married to his best friend. If anyone finds the certificate he’ll pretend to have trouble recalling a night out at Vegas, a few too many drinks, and a strip club ending in a drive-thru wedding. He’ll laugh it off, replying that Rhodey couldn’t get rid of him that easily and it’ll get wilder every time.
In actual fact, Tony was 100% sober for the entire event. Well up until the reception anyway- but even that wasn’t a lot -Rhodey was drunk. He was hammered before the ceremony, so freaked out that Tony was going to call off the whole thing. But he had shown up in all his glory, head to toe in a custom made, white suit, face rid of grease and oil and looking classy.
Rhodes wore his uniform and looked just as good as Tony remembered the last time he’d seen Rhodey in it. It was a small ceremony with a few of Rhodey’s army buds he was out to, Rhodes' entire family (they’d all insisted on coming) and Aunt Peggy.
The reception afterwards was held in Stark Manor and even though there weren't many people that came, the massive hall had never felt more full of love. They’d traded rings that only Rhodey wore for obvious reasons, playing it off as a girl back home. Tony wore Rhodey’s dog tags instead.
They’d gotten married the year Tony had graduated MIT, the young age of 20 and 23, but neither had regretted it. They were due to celebrate their 30 year anniversary, as well as celebrating Tony’s survival of the snap the year prior in a month’s time and Tony couldn’t be happier. Rhodey had helped him through so much and he couldn’t imagine a better person to spend his life with.
The question came one morning after a particularly long lab binge, as Tony stumbled out to grab coffee.
“Are you ever going to settle down?” Tony looked up confused, not processing the question in his tired state.
“Huh?”
The voice asked again.
“Are you ever going to get married? Have a family?” He vaguely registered that it was Steve asking the question and that everyone in the kitchen was staring between them.
Before he could think through the consequences he nodded and replied confusedly. “But I am?”
The whole kitchen erupted into chaos.
“Who?”
“What?”
“When?”
“Bullshit!”
“Is it Pepper?”
“Who’d put up with him?”
“How long?”
Tony covered his ears, almost crouching down from the incoming attack on his senses. In a flash the room was silent and he let out a sigh of relief.
“If you’d let me finish.” He straightened himself back up. “It was a weird night in Vegas.”
He subconsciously grabbed for his dog tags. “How long have you been with her or married to her anyway.”
Tony seems to think for a moment. “Been married to him for 30 years.”
Once again the kitchen erupts into chaos, whether from the ‘him’ or the ‘30 years’, Tony wasn’t sure.
“We just decided that it wasn’t worth getting a divorce if neither of us actually needed it.” It always hurt him to use that excuse, he wouldn’t trade Honey Bear for anything.
The rest of the team seemed satisfied with that answer, although Steve was looking a little mad (maybe Tony had ruined the sanctity of marriage or whatever) and Clint and Natasha looked suspicious.
“Sir, Colonel Rhodes has arrived. Shall I activate code: Honey Bear & Silver Fox?” Friday’s voice came.
“Yes please baby girl.”
The team started muttering and whispering at the weird name, what was that?
“Of course sir, his plane has just touched down.” Forgoing coffee, but suddenly invigorated anyway, he rushed out of the room to the runway, shocking everyone.
“That wasn’t a weird night in Vegas.” Clint murmured to Natasha.
“Absolutely not.” She replied, taking another sip of coffee.
“Him and Rhodes?” Clint checked.
“Him and Rhodes.” She confirmed with a nod.
“Honey Bear!” Tony ran, leaping into his arm and hugging him really tightly.
“Hey, my Silver Fox, got some grey hairs?” He teased as Tony buried his face into Rhodes’ shoulder.
“Excuse you.” He snarked back. “You’re home.”
“Yeah Tones, I am. I always come home, remember?” His voice had turned soft and they stayed like that for a few precious moments. “Now can I put you down, so I can kiss you senseless?”
The teasing was back in his voice and Tony nodded his approval vigorously. Rhodey placed the genius down gently, before pulling him in for a hard kiss.
“How've you been? You taking care of yourself?” Rhodey asked, pulling himself so he was flushed against the smaller man’s back, chin resting on his head and aimlessly walking around the runway.
Tony stayed silent. “Baby.” Tony could feel his disappointment.
“How bad was it?” His voice was soft as if talking to a spooked animal.
“Not that bad.” Tony murmured, clearly lying.
“If I ask Pepper and Friday?” Tony looked down, knowing he’d lost the argument.
“I just hate not knowing, if you’re safe, if you’re alive, if you’ve been shot down, if you’re on the battlefield or at base.” He sounded so genuine and so upset.
Rhoey turned the small man back to face him, lifting up his chin. “Nothing like that's going to happen, and if it did, you’d be the first to know.”
Tony nodded weakly as Rhodey stared, concerned down at him. “You alright? Gotten into any scandals lately?”
That seems to lift his mood a little. “Ooh yeah, I’m a Silver Fox and have been going around to clubs and getting laid with teens who are barely legal.” He seemed like an excited two year old when recounting to Rhodey, who just laughed.
“So just a normal Tuesday then?”
“Oh no, it gets better. I am apparently engaged to our lovely Pepper and cheating on her.”
At this Rhodey can’t stop his laugh, “Oh my god, people are so stupid!”
“They really are.” Tony nods in agreement, he looked sad again.
“Hey, what’s up? Is my leaving still bothering you?”
Tony shakes his head. “I got asked today when I was going to settle down and have kids.” He pulled a face.
“That’s none of their business.” He pouts and stomps his foot.
“We can tell them if you’d like? The team, I mean. I’m assuming it was them.”
“Yeah, Mr Patriotism, and really?” Tony looked up with a sparkle in his eye.
“Of course, you trust them now, right? It’s not like they’re gonna rat us out and if they do, set Pepper on their arse.” Rhodey smiled at him.
They laughed. “You always have the best ideas Honey Bear, that’s why you’re the smart one in this relationship.”
“Eh, I try.” He shrugs.
“So we can really tell them?” Tony looked so hopeful that even if it had been a joke (which it wasn’t) it definitely wasn’t anymore.
“Of course. They’ll know you’re all mine.” Rhodey growled, grabbing his neck, by the dog tags and pulling him in for a kiss. Tony almost melted at the possessiveness.
“You activate our code sweety?” His voice had a sweet tone and a hint of ownership that made Tony whimper.
“Yes sir.” he managed to get out.
“Very good, let’s go?” He raised an eyebrow as if expecting a challenge, not that Tony was going to give him one, already eager to go.
He just nodded, letting out a tiny squeak.
As Tony laid in Rhodey’s arms hours later, he really did think there was no better place to be.
“Do we wanna tell them now?” Tony asked, breaking the sweet silence in the room.
“Later baby, you’re running on no sleep. Don’t argue.” Rhodey pulled him closer, holding him tightly.
“Mm, okay.” A very sleepy Tony answered.
Tony lay sleeping as Rhodey watched over him, nothing changing from over 30 years ago when Tony would sneak into his bed.
It was around 5 when they woke up, having slept for a solid 6 hours and Tony was feeling more refreshed. He woke up before Rhodey and jumped on the older man until he got up.
“Jesus Tony, put on some clothes.” He sighed, pulling himself out of bed.
“Well that’s not what you usually say.” Tony smiled cheekily.
“Mm, no it’s not.” Rhodey whispered against his lips, letting the blanket around his waist fall.
They finally went downstairs at 6, having cleaned up as best they could, including a shower that got them more dirty than when they went in. Tony somehow managed to get Rhodey to carry him downstairs princess style and kept booping Rhodes’ nose as they went down the elevator.
“You thought of how to tell them?”
“By inviting them to our vow renewal?”
“Our what?” Rhodey stood shocked as the elevator opened and Tony jumped out of his arms, reaching into his pocket. He got down on one knee in front of Rhodey, as his eyes misted up.
“It’s been 30 years Honey Bear, what would you say another 30? I know I haven’t always been the easiest to be with but I knew when I met you at the tender age of 15 that you were the one. So what do you say to another 30 years of me sneaking into your bedroom and fantastic sex? Maybe this time I’ll even wear a ring.”
“Are you asking me to marry you, again Mr Stark?”
“That’s Mr Stark-Rhodes to you.” He laughed, wiping tears from his eyes.
“I’m pretty sure last time was less dramatic.”
“‘Cause your lazy arse didn’t get off the couch to propose. Can I have an answer, my knee’s hurting.”
“Of course you crazy bastard, yes.”
He pulled Tony up by the collar of his shirt, dragging him in for a kiss. The ring fell to the ground forgotten as Rhodey and Tony laughed and cried their way through a make out.
“The ring Tones!”
“Oh yeah. Made it from my first suit, from Afghanistan. Thanks for being there for me.”
“You idiot.”
He slipped the second ring onto Rhodey’s finger, he didn’t know how, but wearing the two rings suited him.
“You’re mine now.” Tony kissed him sweetly again.
“Possessive bastard.” Rhodey laughed out.
“Yes, because dragging me by the dog tags is not possessive at all.”
“You love it.”
Neither of them seemed to register the Avengers in the room behind them until Steve yelled. “What the fuck?”
“Pay up.” Natasha yelled as the others groaned, pulling various amounts out of their pockets.
“You bet on us?” Tony asked incredulously.
“Why are you surprised darling?” Rhodey twirled Tony around as he giggled, before pulling him into his lap on the couch.
“Good point.”
“So, the Vegas wedding?” Steve asked slowly.
“Oh fake, I was fully sober for the entire thing. Rhodey was drunk though.”
“To-ny.” He whined.
“What it’s true. You were drunk!”
The Avengers snickered at the blushing man, as Tony gets comfortable in his lap.
“Anyway, all questions can wait until tomorrow. I am watching a movie. If you want to join, ok, if not, leave.” Tony said, pulling up his favourite movie, Mean Girls. It had been his favourite movie after it’d come out over 20 years earlier.
“Okay babe. We can watch Mean Girls.”
All the Avengers stayed and they ordered chinese takeout from Tony’s favourite place. After watching both Mean Girls and Tony’s running commentary and line quoting, they decided to call it a night.
“Congrats dude, I know y’all have been married for 30 years, but it’s still cute.” Clint said as they were going. Out of all people, Clint was the last person they would’ve thought would wish them well. Rhodey thanked him as they went upstairs, not before Tony announced that they’d all been invited to their vow ceremony.
One instagram post and a text to Pepper later, that whole world was aware of their relationship and they couldn’t have been happier.
The headlines read the next morning: ‘Silver Fox Settled Down?’ and ‘The 30 Year Old Secret You Won’t Believe’, as Tony and Rhodey stubbornly ignore their phones.
A well known fact about Tony Stark is that he’s married to his best friend. If anyone finds the certificate he’ll recall the most wonderful day of his life and the nights at MIT. He’ll talk about how drunk the man was before his wedding and how Rhodey can’t get rid of him now. He’ll tell you that he never regretted anything, that Rhodey was his best friend and the story will never change, because he’s so damn grateful for this one.