Neurofibromatosis (NF1)
Tony swallowed hard and tried to control his shaking.
Jarvis had just informed him that the team was having a mandatory bonding session in the pool and Steve requested that he come down ten minutes ago. But he couldn’t move.
He couldn’t go to the pool because he didn’t want to have to wear a bathing suit because he didn’t want the team to see his skin because his skin was ugly, it was gross, it was everything Howard loved to scream at him every time his sleeve ran up his arm or his stomach showed under his shirt. He was a freak.
Tony has neurofibromatosis and has had it since he was a child. It was to blame for his short stature, slightly bowed legs, and weird skin.
Tony removed his shirt and stared at his body in the bathroom mirror. He looked like a dalmatian with light brown spots freckling his body. And to make matters worse, he had a bunch of pea-sized bumps all over his skin. He was a mess. He was ugly. He was gross. He was a freak.
He didn’t notice how thick the air got until he was sure all of it had left the room. His chest heaved as his body fought for air but his brain denied it. Sweat matted his hair and a wave of dizziness washed over him, sending him crashing to the cold tile of the bathroom. He had reached for the shower curtain for support and didn’t even notice the loud sound as it too ripped and crashed into the tub.
Tony’s eyes swam around the room, looking for air, looking for help, looking for a cave to hide in so no one would ever have to see him or his ugly body again.
Just as his vision started to go black from his uncontrollable breathing, he felt a hand rest lightly on his chest, and soon his blurry vision made out his husband’s blue-green eyes.
“L-l-loki?” He choked out.
“-nthony. Deep breaths,” he heard from underwater.
He followed his husband’s gaze to his chest and tried to match his breathing. It took a while, but soon he was able to feel Locki’s hand running through his hair and the kisses his husband peppered onto his cheeks. “Feeling better?”
“Mmhmm,” he hummed, suddenly tired.
“Want to tell me what's wrong?” Loki asked softly, pulled Tony into his arms.
Tony’s breath immediately picked up and Loki stroked his cheek to get him to calm down. “P-p-pool,” he said.
“Ah yes, I saw the dog pile splashing around downstairs. Did you not want to join them?” Loki asked, tucking Tony’s head under his chin.
“C-can’t let them see me like this,” Tony whimpered, a few tears escaping.
Loki sighed, remembered how body-conscious his husband was. Earth was the only planet that seemed to care about appearance. On the other planets, people walked around as all different shapes, sizes, and colors and no one cared. But experiencing for himself how rude midgardians can be, he understood his husband’s anxiety. “I know you are nervous as to how the team will treat you, but you shouldn’t bother. I know for a fact they would not care as to your appearance. They are very...accepting,” Loki said. Tony took comfort in his accented words.
After a bit of silence, Loki grabbed Tony’s arm and started kissing all the little bumps he could see. Tony cried watching his husband kiss the things he hated most about himself. “You are so beautiful, Anthony,” Loki whispered as he finished. “Your deformities make you who you are. They make you special.” Loki wiped the tears from Tony’s cheeks. “Would you be more comfortable if I was to accompany you?”
Tony nodded into Loki’s neck. He jumped when Loki’s shirt suddenly disappeared and he was now wearing swim trunks.
“Well, let’s get on then,” Loki said, pushing back his hair. He helped Tony stand and they both made their way to the elevator.
Tony’s body shook as they descended and he was very notically trembled by the time the elevator dinged at the bottom floor. Jarvis kept the door, Loki grabbed Tony’s hands, looking him in the eye. “You are beautiful. Every part of you.” Right before the doors opened, Loki took a deep breath before turning into his natural form. Tony had half a second to take in his blue husband before the elevator doors opened.
The team froze in the middle of a game of Marco Polo. There was only a second of hesitation as they took in Loki’s blue figure and Tony’s spotted and bumpy skin before they resumed their game. “Come on over guys, water’s warm!”
“That’s ‘cause you peed in it, Barton!” Natasha snarked.
Tony smiled, grabbing Loki’s hand and walking over. For the first time ever he thought Maybe i’m not ugly? Maybe I'm not disgusting? Maybe i’m not a freak? Maybe I am special.