Ventilator
Because of the arc reactor, Tony often had bad days. Days where he would be sleepier, would be slower, would have breathing issues- and they were horrible. Every time Steve woke up to Tony’s wheezing or coughing his heart was in his throat. But he learned to live with it because these days would come more often than not, especially as they started going on more missions.
Today was a bad day, a really bad one.
Steve woke to Tony’s wheezing and coughs that were so bad- Tony’s face was bright red. Steve quickly sat him up to see if the coughing would ease, but it didn’t. It wasn’t until the second round of the nebulizer Tony seemed to gain back a bit of air. He collapsed against Steve on the bed, who held him close. “Want to go back to sleep?” Steve asked Tony, hands running through his hair.
Tony shook his head and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Steve nodded and they spent a few more moments just holding each other. When they were ready, Steve helped Tony to the edge of the bed and quickly ran over to help him stand. Tony’s limbs were shaking slightly but he was able to walk while leaning on Steve. He could tell by the wincing as the reactor moved and the thin breaths that the genius wouldn’t be walking for long. “Think you can eat, baby?” Steve asked softly to the genius who was looking down at the floor as if his head was too heavy. Tony shook his head and Steve sighed. On days like this, eating took up too much energy and breath for Tony to sacrifice, so he went without.
“Let’s move to the couch then.” Steve noticed Tony’s breaths growing heavy again and knew he wouldn’t be able to walk much farther. He helped him lower to the couch and he picked up Tony’s legs so the man was laying down, supported by the armrest. “Take a rest, i’ll be back,” Steve said softly, moving a piece of hair from Tony’s forehead.
Steve returned with a few cubes of ice. Tony’s chest hurt more when pressure was added to it, but ice would help numb it slightly. So Steve kneeled down next to his husband and pressed the ice cubs lightly around the arc reactor. Tony still winced and whimpered, but after about an hour, it was throbbing less. Tony had fallen asleep from the brief relief of pain so Steve let him sleep and walked over to where the Avengers were congregating quietly in the kitchen.
“Reactor?” Natasha asked when Steve walked over. He sat on a bar chair and nodded. She poured him a cup of juice as Clint took the seat next to him.
“Do you mind if I take a look?” Bruce asked, concerned. Steve nodded and put his head in his hands. He hated days like this. Days that reminded him how hard Tony’s life was and is. Days that reminded him Tony would forever suffer from pain in his desperation to survive.
“The area around the arc is inflamed and his lungs sound tight,” Bruce said, walking back over to them. “He should do another nebulizer treatment when he wakes up.”
Steve sighed, but jumped when Tony started coughing again. He walked over to where Tony was fidgeting and whimpering. “Hurts, Stevie,” he wheezed.
Steve grabbed his husband’s hand and sat on the edge of the couch. “I know, just breathe okay?” Tony nodded and tried to take more breaths, but his coughing was picking up. “Bruce, inhaler?” The scientist nodded and brought it over.
Steve helped Tony sit up a bit further and placed the inhaler to the man’s lips. He held the back of Tony’s head and encouraged him to inhale as he released the medicine. They repeated it twice more and Tony’s wheezing seemed to diminish. “Sleep for a little bit and then we’ll do another nebulizer treatment,” Steve told him.
Tony nodded and let his eyes close. Steve watched his breaths get slightly deeper, though a light wheeze still clung on to his inhales.
It was only a few hours later when Tony was rushed to the hospital. Steve had returned to the living room to check on his husband when he saw Tony’s blue face, unable to get in any air. They called paramedics who quickly pried Tony’s airway open and stuck a tube down it. Tony coughed and sputtered, his arms flailing and eyes wide as he searched for Steve. It was only when his eyes connected with his husband’s baby blue ones did he calm down slightly.
At the hospital, Tony was rushed to the ICU and sedated as they put him on a ventilator. And that was how he stayed for about a week.
When he woke, they had to call Steve because the billionaire was almost thrown into a panic attack. He tried to rip the tube out of his mouth with his weak arms and the feeling of the tube down his throat brought tears to his eyes. It wasn’t until Steve stood over him, restraining his hands and pressing kisses onto his face, that he stopped panicking. “Calm down, baby, you’re going to be just fine,” Steve said softly. Tony couldn’t talk or respond, but he pulled strength from Steve’s loving eyes and calmed his racing heart.
Weaning off the ventilator was the worst part. It simultaneously felt like drowning and snorkeling. They tried to get him to breathe for himself so they turned the ventilator down. He would try to coax his lungs to move, to breathe, and just when he was sure that he was going to die from lack of air, the ventilator kicked in and gave him a breath. It was the most horrible feeling. But having the tube removed was way worse.
“Come on Tones, calm down,” Steve coaxed. The doctors were trying to remove the ventilator from Tony’s lungs but the genius was panicking as they prepared to yank it out. “You got this, you’re going to be fine.”
Tony’s eyes were wide as he clung to Steve’s baby blue ones. He was off the sedatives so the feeling of the large tube shoved down his throat was spectacularly unpleasant. He choked and sputtered as his lungs tried to breathe against the machine, yet he feared it’s removal.
“On the count of three I want you to cough, and then we’ll pull it out,” the doctor instructed.
Nothing could prepare him for the medical professionals pulling the meter long tube from his body. He coughed, he cried, he wheezed. He thought he was going to die. It wasn’t until Steve grabbed his face and their eyes connected did he start to calm down. The first breath was hard, but the rest were easier because he had Steve to keep him from drowning.