Bipolar Disorder
They should have expected it after the large party they attended last night. Tony was extremely energetic and happy, and more than once Bucky and Steve had to direct him away from the bar. While the partygoers had attributed it to him being Tony Stark, his boyfriends knew what was going on. Especially when Steve woke up to Bucky trying to coax Tony out of bed.
Steve had gone on his morning run and typically when he woke his boyfriends would be in the kitchen, having just woken up and cooking breakfast. He would open the door to loud music and horrible dancing as the two struggled to make pancakes. He would complain about the mess before being dragged into dancing to a Katy Perry song. That was of course before the fire alarm went off due to the burning pancakes they’d forgotten about.
Today was different though, and unfortunately, it wasn’t unfamiliar.
“Please, baby. Just a bit of breakfast?” Bucky pleaded, kneeling in front of Tony.
Steve walked further into the room. “Please, baby? Then you can get right back in bed, I promise.” Bucky said softly. He sounded desperate and it made Steve’s heart break.
Steve crawled onto the bed and sat behind Tony, spooning the smaller man. He could feel Tony trembling slightly and although he couldn’t see his expression, he knew the genius was crying silently. “I’m sorry, Bucky,” he heard him whisper.
They knew it was almost impossible to get Tony out of bed on his own during his depressive episodes. Still, they tried, and they knew Tony did too.
“It’s okay, Tones,” Steve said, pulling Tony closer to him. He watched Bucky cradle the man’s cheek. “Bucky can you get his medicine please?” Steve asked.
Bucky nodded and stepped out of the room.
Steve pulled a hand through Tony’s hair and snuggled into the man’s neck. He felt Tony take a shuddering breath. “I know you feel really bad right now,” he whispered. “But we all love you and are here for you.” He felt Tony’s tears pick up. “I know it might be hard to believe right now but we do.” After several seconds, he felt Tony nod.
Bucky came in with pills and he helped Tony swallow them before holding a cup of water to his mouth. Steve pet his hair through the whole exchange. “Do you want to be alone?” Steve asked. His heart hurt when Tony nodded, but he and Bucky slowly left the room.
The two walked into the hall like lost puppies. They gave each other a sad look and walked towards the common room. Bucky cooked while Steve cleaned. They hated when Tony got like this but there was not much they could do to pull him out of it, it was upsetting but they learned to back off and let Tony lead.
And a few hours later, Tony came stumbling out of the bedroom. His hair was messy and sticking up, his eyes were squinted, and he was sockless but as soon as they noticed him in the hallway, both of them ran over and pulled him into a big hug.
“We missed you so much, baby,” Steve said above Tony’s head.
“Missed you too,” Tony mumbled into Steve’s chest.
Bucky kissed Tony on the cheek before wrapping him in a blanket and sweeping him off his feet. He carried the lethargic man to the kitchen while Steve set a plate of food down. Tony looked at it conflictedly, and two supersoldiers gave each other a look.
Bucky picked Tony up before placing the man on his lap. Steve moved in front of them and started feeding Tony. Tony reluctantly opened his mouth and let his boyfriend feed him. After the fifth forkful though, Tony collapsed against Bucky’s chest and closed his eyes. They could tell his momentary burst of energy was over. Steve brushed the utensil against Tony’s lips but the man wouldn’t open. He curled into Bucky and shook slightly.
“Please Tony, two more bites?” Steve asked softly.
Tony whimpered and squeezed his eyes tighter. He curled under the blanket and tucked his head into Bucky’s neck. Both of his boyfriends sighed, but Steve moved the plate.
Just as Bucky was settling with Tony on the couch, the other occupants of the tower walked into the common room. Bucky debated bringing Tony up to their personal floor but since the man was calm and relaxed in his arms, he thought it better to say put.
“What’s up with him?” Clint said as he flopped down onto the couch.
Bucky internally rolled his eyes at the question. It was almost hard to believe Clint was a secret agent with his lack of tact, his love of blurting things out before thinking about them, and his lack of sensitivity.
“Nothing, he’s just tired,” Bucky responded, pulling Tony closer to him.
This was one of the reasons he was opposed to having the team move in with them. Being agents, they were naturally nosy and he didn’t like the idea of people being in their business, friends or not. Clint and Natasha also were fooled by Tony’s playboy persona and he knew they would not try to see past it. His high energy and impulsive behavior was also because of his bipolar disorder- Tony couldn’t help these mania episodes. And because of that, there was no way he was telling them about Tony’s bipolar disorder- it would just be another thing they would use against him.
“Yeah ‘tired’, okay,” Clint laughed. “More like ‘hungover’. I was at that party last night too, remember? He was drinking like he was about to have his leg chopped off!”
Bucky tried to keep the anger off his face. While Tony had a lot of fun at the party last night, he didn’t drink at all. In fact, he had been sober for more than a year at Bucky and Steve’s request when they learned he had a drinking problem. The only thing Tony had consumed last night was ice water with lemon, but of course Clint apparently saw something else.
“Can you not be so loud? He has a headache.” Bucky said through gritted teeth. He noticed Tony’s muscles clenching at Clint’s increasing volume.
“Dramatic,” Clint rolled his eyes. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on.
Bucky felt Tony pulling away suddenly. “Bathroom,” Tony whispered. Bucky looked at him sadly but nodded. Steve sat next to him just as the door to the bathroom closed.
“You know, you could be nicer to him,” Bucky growled lowly so Tony couldn’t hear.
“The world already bows down to him, why do I have to too?” Clint grumbled. He turned the TV up louder and leaned forward to ignore their looks. Even Bruce who was silent through the whole thing frowned at him.
Steve gave Bucky a look to back down and they fought with facial expressions for several minutes. It was when they heard a thud from the bathroom they got worried.
Steve frowned at Bucky and walked over to the bathroom door. “Tony?” He knocked. There was no answer. Bucky got up and walked over. “It’s locked,” Steve told him. They both knocked louder but there was still no response. It took one try before Steve had knocked the door down.
They found Tony on the ground unconscious with an empty bottle of pills in his limp hand. His body’s shaking was gradually increasing and horrible gurgling noises erupted from his mouth. “Bruce!” Steve called as he and Bucky kneeled next to the man. Both of their hands were shaking as they hovered over Tony’s body unsure what to do.
“Shit!” Bruce shouted as he reached the doorway. He pushed the soldiers out of the way and rubbed a fist over Tony’s sternum while calling the man’s name. The third time his knuckles rubbed uncomfortably against the man’s chest, Tony’s eyes slowly opened and he started coughing.
Bucky and Steve cried with relief. “Turn him on his side,” Bruce commanded just as Tony started vomiting. “Clint- call 911, Natasha- have Jarvis show you where the Naloxone is,” he instructed.
“It’s okay, baby, let it out,” Steve said as Tony started crying.
“S’rry,” Tony coughed.
“I know you are, it’s okay, just keep breathing for us, okay?” Steve said softly while rubbing Tony’s hair.
They knew Tony had dark thoughts during his depressive episodes but this was the first time he acted on them. Bucky wondered if it was because of Clint’s harsh words.
Just as Bruce injected the Naloxone into Tony’s thigh, the man lost his remaining energy and went limp. His eyes fluttered as he fought to stay awake but it was a losing battle. Luckily the paramedics were seconds away from bursting through the door.