A Poisoned Touch

After Eir had dropped their bombshell about his age and his expected lifespan Steve let the tears come. For the first time since he’d been woken up, he let himself truly grieve not only for what he had already lost, but what he was going to lose again. As the tears flowed, slowing but never stopping, Steve felt himself get lifted. He was so out of it, he didn’t even take a moment to argue being treated like a baby, never mind the hands all over his skin. Instead he let Thor hold him tight while Loki transported them back to his room.

“I’ll give you time, when he is ready, meet us in the library. I want to be sure he knows as much as possible before you go back to Midgard.” Loki left them alone and then Thor was walking toward the bed, still carrying Steve in his arms. His face was drying now, and being taken over by the blush that he knows so well.

“What are you doing Thor?” He’d placed a knee on the bed, and the next thing Steve knew, there was an almost ballet type move and then Thor was leaning against the headboard and Steve was still in his arms, and on his lap.

“I am cuddling you.” He peered down to catch Steve’s eye. “If there was ever a body who needed a good cuddle, it was you, right now. I can feel the sadness coming off you in waves. Don’t make me walk away when all I desire is to try and make you feel better.”

“Two days ago I would have made you go. But now? Now I am going to take the cuddle because no matter how much I try to pretend I don’t, I need it.”

“Good. Now, we can sit here quietly, and you can soak up the touch you need, or we can talk about what you just learned. I am fine with either.” Steve was still unused to this soft spoken Thor, versus how loud and energetic he usually was, but he had to admit, he really liked it.

“Um, can we be quiet for a bit and then talk? I just...that was a lot.”

“It was a lot for you. Just tap my wrist when you are ready to discuss.” Steve looked up and found that Thor had leaned his head back and shut his eyes. He hadn’t loosened his grip around Steve though, and he was grateful for that.

The time blurred as Steve tried to untangle the mess in his brain. He wasn’t sure if it was better or worse knowing that he would outlive his team. And not just outlive them, but the next team and then the one after that, and so on. He was looking at living to be a thousand years old. That number seemed so ridiculous to him. The arms around him tightened and it hit him how stupid he was being. Right here was another person in the same predicament as him, except that all his friends would live as long as him as well.

“Thor,” he asked, tapping the large wrist three times, “how old are you and Loki?”

“Ah, I am nearing my 1500th name day and Loki, he is at 1100 I believe? He was a baby when father brought him home.”

“Is his aging the same as yours? Since he’s from Jotunheim?” He stumbled over the word and Thor smiled down at him.

“Ah, close enough. Perhaps not year for year. But he will be long lived because he also drinks the mead from Idunn’s apples on each of his name day celebrations. It is a custom father set up the year he turned one.” Suddenly he was jostled a bit so that they could look each other in the face better. “So you see, if you want, you will always have a place here with us.”

“Thor--”

“I know it is hard. I know it will hurt and if I could stop it, I would save you from that hurt, but outliving them is not the end of your world.”

Steve didn’t even know what to do with that kind of statement, or the emotions it bloomed inside him. He looked all over Thor’s face to find any sign of him not actually believing those words, but the bigger man was completely sincere and it floored Steve.

“Thank you. I know that right now I don’t seem really appreciative, but it means so much that you are helping me through this.” Steve expected a smile, or some words, possibly a tightening of the arms around him, but what he got warmed him clear through down to his bones.

With a soft smile Thor leaned forward to press a featherlight soft kiss to his forehead. Seve couldn’t stop the shiver if he’d tried. He also couldn't stop the shock from filling his face. So when Thor pulled back, he was clearly worried he’d overstepped. Steve couldn't let him live with that misconception, not even for a second.

That didn’t mean he expected the words that actually tumbled out of his mouth. “You missed.”

“Oh did I?” Thor was smirking and Steve, the twink inside him was dying. He couldn’t believe it, but it was looking like he was going to be able to have this. Not just touch that was good and sweet and kind, but affection? From Thor? He was absolutely okay with that.

“Ya sure did. Just a bit lower.” Thor winked and leaned down again, this time to drop a soft kiss to Steve’s nose.

He wrinkled it and sighed. “Little lower, ya?”

“Ah, I see what you are after now.” Thor grinned and swept down to press a kiss right on Steve’s lips, curved up in a smile. He held the kiss for a few seconds, his own lips turning up into a smile before pulling away. “Is that what you were wanting?

“Uh huh, Yup.” It was taking everything he had to not just melt into a puddle of goo.

“You are aware you slide back into your less polished vernacular when you are relaxed?”

“Sssh. They schooled the Brooklyn outta me.” Steve grinned, waving Thor closer again, and then leaned up to kiss him. If this was a thing they were doing, there was no way he was always going to be passive. No matter how gooey it made him feel.

“I quite enjoy the Brooklyn in your voice.” Thor ran a big hand down Steve’s left wing, smoothing the feathers that were all out of place from lounging together. “I also enjoy kissing you. I admit I did not think you would be so amenable to it.”

"I ain't about to say no to you. Not when I've been havin to hide this for so damn long." Steve ran a finger through the hair laying along Thor's face. "Speaking of. I guess I was thinking Asgard would be less progressive. More like what I'm used to, but you were talkin 'bout Loki and Fandral and… I figure, at least I won't get hit if I try."

"Asgard is open to much. When it comes to a dalliance, there is not much that would be disallowed. The Allfather changed many outdated practices when he became king. I believe mostly so he would be able to marry mother. She was not royalty, and that was an issue back then."

"So they were a love match? Rather than an arrangement?"

"Aye. Father saw her and knew straight away. He courted her for a year before she would deign to marry him."

"That is real sweet." Steve ran a fingertip along Thor's fingers, one at a time, before sliding his hand in the larger, warmer hand. "I'm real glad I came here."

"As am I, elskan. Though I fear there may be yet more shocks to come. I admit I do not know much about your race. Loki is correct that of the two of us, it was he who paid attention to his studies. I know not what we shall learn when we go through the histories the tomes the library contain."

"But you'll stay with me? While we go over it."

"Aye. You would be hard pressed to rid yourself of me now. I have been waiting for you. And now that you accept my touch, I will continue to give you the affection you have been missing."

They stayed in bed a few more minutes, simply to enjoy the new thing between them, but Steve also was anxious to head to the library. To see what else he could learn about his people. He really did want as much information as he could get before he made any decisions that would affect his life going forward. Allowing himself the sheer joy of accepting Thor’s advances was enough of a big decision for one day. He would gather the rest of what he could and then bring it back home to talk to the others. Thor had agreed with his plan and knowing that he understood helped Steve feel more certain that he’d made the right choice.

When they did make it to the library, they were still closer than Steve was used to. Thor held his hand on his left side, and that wing was flexed out, all but wrapped around the Thor’s back. Steve had always worried about his wings, worried about others touching them, and them touching others, but Thor took it in stride. Steve should have expected that, even before he allowed skin to skin touch, Thor had always had fingers out to settle feathers. And now, now there was so much touch, all of it good.

The door to the library opened up on it’s own, and inside they found the Queen and Loki, the two of them standing side by side with a large blue and silver book laid out on the table in front of them.

“It’s about time.” Loki said before he even turned around. His focus was sharp and noticed their closeness immediately, making him smile in true delight. It made his face look so young. “Really, it is about time.”

“Oh, my boys.” Frigga clasped her hands in front of her face, in no way hiding her enormous grin. “I am so glad. I wasn't certain you would let yourself open up enough Steven, but I am so glad.”

“Did everyone but me know that this was an option?” Steve couldn’t hide his laugh.

“As we spoke about, same sex love is not frowned upon here. I know Midgard has a much less tolerant environment.”

“Also, Thor would not shut up about you.” Loki added, his smile going mischievous. “Oh, the captain is so strong. Oh the captain is so smart. Oh the captain so sad and I want to hug him--”

“Enough brother.” Thro growled out. He was clearly embarrassed but Steve was fucking giddy.

“So that’s what he meant when he said you’d talked to your ma about me.” Steve glanced at Thor and could swear the god was actually blushing.

“Yes, it is. I heard much about you before you visited.” Frigga held her hands out and without any fear, Steve stepped away from Thor and right up to her, taking her hands. He let out a deep breath and squeezed gently. “Now, come look at what we found.”

The book was open to an absolutely gorgeous drawing of a city. The castle was circular and multi leveled. There was a waterfall that seemed to come out of the top spire. It was done in golds and blues, soft peaches and it felt safe. Like the image reached out to wrap him up in a safety that he hadn’t felt since his ma wrapped thin arms around his frail body. He tried to look at everything. Noticing the water wheels and the floating rooms? Buildings? He wasn’t sure what you would call them, but water poured out from them as well. It was lovely.

“This is Aristosa, the capital city of the Soros planet. The planet itself either has no name, or has a name that only a Soros can know, because it has never been written down according to my sources.” Loki told him. "We call it Aerilon simply to have something to call it."

“It is stunning.” He reached out to touch the paper, curious if that safe feeling could be transferred. “Looking at it, I feel safe. It’s the strangest thing.”

“It is interesting that you feel that. Before you came in, Loki and I were talking about how we had the desire to shut the book. Not exactly a malevolent feeling, but a strong one. Making us feel like we should back away.”

“The book has a defense?” Thor asked, walking close but stopping short. “Interesting. It certainly does not trust me as it does you elskan.”

Steve looked over his shoulder, his wings fluttering and then settling. “I was about to ask how a book could trust, but then I remembered I was on a planet that is really a plane, that floats in the galaxy and you have a magic hammer that helps you fly, and oh yeah I have wings. So sure, the book has emotions. And it’s tuggin at me.” His voice had dropped as he talked, and got as close as he cold to the book, laying both hands flat on its surface.

“What is it telling you darling?" Frigga asked from where she stood at his shoulder. Close, but not so close that the book would object to her proximity.

“It’s not tellin so much as makin me feel. Make sense? And right now all I’m gettin is sad and I think, I mean, I think the book wants to go home.”

“Interesting.” Loki added, one hand softly glowing green in the direction of the book. He’d stayed farther away, and Steve wondered if it was even less trustful of him since he was a frost giant. “I believe the good captain is correct. It is homesick.” He dropped a hand. “Steven, try to turn the page. We could not, it opened to this image and then would not move.”

Steve ran his fingers down the edges of the page and for some reason, he felt compelled to ask for what he wanted. “Hey, show me what I need to know.” He whispered, feeling foolish. No matter what he felt, it was clear that the book was tuned to his biology because the pages fluttered until they fell to two pages of script that Steve could not read.

“Well then.” Thor came forward and placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “I believe we must revisit our idea to travel to meet the Soros that are left. This obviously belongs there. I can think of no reasons for us to keep it in our hands when it wishes to go home.”

“You are correct of course my son.” They all turned quickly. They had been so absorbed in what they were talking about they hadn’t heard Odin enter the library. Which was insane. He was a large man, it wasn't right that he could move so quietly. “It will take time to find a way for you two to get on planet, so why do you not return to Midgard and catch your team up with what you have learned. Return in a fortnight, and I believe we should be ready for you to take next steps.”

“Steven? Does this sound good to you?” Thor asked.

“I thought we were having dinner and sparring with your friends?” Everything was moving quickly and the idea for a few days at home sounded good, but he also didn’t want to disrupt any plans.

“Sif and the three were unable to return today. It appears that Volstagg has offended someone and Hogun was trying to talk sense to the man. And of course Sif was keeping watch. So you see, nothing is being missed.”

“Okay, then yeah. I think it’d be good to regroup. Make some decisions. Thank you sir.”

“Ah, from what I hear you are almost family. You can call me Odin if AllFather is too much.” The man winked, just winked at Steve and he just stood there unsure how to even respond to that.

“Father, thank you.” Thor walked forward and did the forearm clasp that Steve found endlessly charming. “Shall we just return or will you send for us?”

“Prepare for a fortnight, but if things move faster, I will send one of the ravens. I must go, so this is goodbye for now Steven.”

“Again, thank you so much for making me feel so welcomed, and for helping me.”

The man stepped forward, and held out his arm, and Steve did the same, making the arm clasp as he’d seen Thor do it. “Thank you for making my sons smile. In different ways of course, both are equally important to me.”

Steve nodded, and then the man was gone, leaving Steve grinning.

“Go my boys, your things should be at the bridge now. Loki, will you be going as well?”

“No mother. I will help father work on travel. I will join you soon however, as irritating Anthony is always a good time.” He made his way to Steve and he expected another arm clasp, but instead he got a hug. Steve made sure to keep it tight for a few seconds longer, just so that Loki understood how important he was to him.

“We’ll see you soon. Don't take too long.”

“Aye Captain.” And then he was gone. Frigga’s goodbyes were heartfelt as well and Steve was just going to hoard all the hugs he’d gotten on the visit. The walk to the bridgekeeper was quick, and Frigga was correct, his shield bag was resting against the giant sword that Heimdall used to open the bridge.

“Odinson and partner, going home?”

“We are Heimdall. And we shall be back soon, so kepe watch.”

“I always do, my prince.” Steve stood tall as the tall man looked him over. “Steven Rogers of Brooklyn, I am in your service.” Steve nodded, and watched fascinated as he moved the sword to open the bridge, rainbow colors swirling around them.

Steve stepped forward, with his shield in one hand and holding Thor’s hand with the other, he let the bridge pull them back to earth. When they landed on the helipad, they were still holding hands. Much to the surprise of Tony, who had been standing there in his armor, face shield up.

“What the hell?” He shouted. Steve just grinned.