Chapter 12
Peter is completely numb and it feels like his brain is off. He’s going down the stairs of his apartment building and he can hear the voices yelling behind him. He doesn’t know if it’s directed at him or not, but he’s too tired to care. As he steps outside, the wind whips his hair around, making it hard to see. He doesn’t know where he’s going, but he just starts walking. He doesn’t feel cold, but he is only wearing a sweatshirt and track pants. He doesn’t remember putting on shoes but can see his sneakers on his feet.
He walks and walks and walks until he realizes that he walked all the way to the tower. He goes inside straight to Tony’s lab, where he almost always is. The elevator door opens and Peter steps in the room, the movement catches Tony’s eye and he looks over to him with a confused, but pleased, expression.
“Hey Pete, what are you doing here?”
Peter looks at the ground. He doesn’t know what he’s doing here. He doesn’t know why he’s here. He has no idea how long he walked for (did he come straight here?) but it’s starting to get dark outside, so it must have been a couple hours. He’s exhausted. He’s so tired he can’t even think. He sits down on the floor, cross-legged, and breathes out deeply. He’s done. He will let Tony take care of him now, he’s done fighting, done faking, just done. Tony will take care of him, he knows it. It allows him to rest, for the first time in a long time. He can feel some of the tension leave his shoulders and some of the tightness leave his chest. He knows Tony will take care of everything, there’s nothing he needs to do anymore.
“Peter? Hey, bud, what’s wrong, are you hurt?” Tony stands from his stool and jogs over to him, his voice taking on a slightly panicked tone. “Peter, come on, what’s going on, tell me what's wrong kid.” Peter just stares at Tony’s shoes. His mind is blank and he is completely numb. ‘Tony will take care of things’, is the only thing going through his head.
“FRIDAY, scan Peter for any injuries,” Tony calls out, searching him for anything wrong. He takes Peter's face into his hands and lifts it so he’s looking at Tony. “Peter, come on, you’re freaking me out here.” Tony looks into his eyes and tries to see if Peter has any signs of a concussion, but Peter just keeps staring through him.
“I have detected no injuries, boss,” FRIDAY calls out from the ceiling.
“Okay, that’s good. Peter,” Tony still has his face in his hands, “What’s wrong? You have to help me out here, I don’t know what’s going on.”
Peter has no energy left. It doesn’t feel like the energy to speak back is worth it. He would have to take a breath in to prepare, and move his mouth, and think of what to say, it’s just too much work, and he doesn’t have any energy to spare. He keeps his mouth closed and looks down to Tony’s sternum so he doesn’t have to look at his eyes. Tony takes a deep breath in, and then out, before mostly lifting Peter into a standing position and guiding him into the elevator. They exit on Tony and Pepper’s floor and Tony guides him to the couch. Tony throws a fluffy blanket on him, but he doesn’t feel cold. He thinks Tony walks away, but he’s too tired to tell. His body leans sideways and he lays down. The living room has beautiful floor to ceiling windows and Peter’s facing them. They’re at the top of the tower, so he can see out for miles. He can see birds flying in the distance, and the tops of so many buildings. It’s beautiful and Peter becomes entranced by the view for a few moments. He just stares and watches the sky turn darker and darker, so slow it’s barely noticeable. He can hear Tony walking back towards him so he closes his eyes. He doesn’t fall asleep, but now Tony won’t try to talk to him again. He feels so relaxed, with Tony near. He knows he doesn’t have to worry, Tony will take care of everything for him, he knows he will.
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“I don’t know what happened, he just showed up and sat on the floor and wouldn't say a word. I thought he must’ve hit his head or something on patrol but he was just wearing a hoodie and sweatpants and FRIDAY didn’t detect any injuries. He wasn’t even wearing a coat, he felt frozen. I tried calling May a couple times but she didn’t answer. I figured she must have been at work so I was gonna try again in a couple hours.” Peter can hear Tony’s voice in the kitchen, he is speaking softly, but Peter can hear the worry in his voice.
“Okay, I’ll try calling her if you want, it’s been about, what, you said an hour since he showed up?”
“Yeah, he showed up just before 4.”
“Okay, you go sit with him, I’ll try and call her again, okay?”
Tony breathes out a sigh before agreeing. Peter can hear his footsteps making his way towards him, but he's too tired to close his eyes again, he just keeps staring out the window. Tony looks over the top of the couch and sees that Peter is awake again. He sits in the armchair before speaking softly, “Hey Pete.” Peter figures Tony must think he isn’t going to respond, because he doesn’t say anything else. He slowly sits up and starts rubbing his eyes. To tell the truth, Peter doesn’t want to speak to Tony. He would have to say why he was here and why he was acting like this. Peter doesn’t know how to answer those questions so he decides to say nothing at all.
It wasn’t like anything new had happened, it was just another normal day. Things had been getting more and more tense as the days passed. Peter was on his Winter break and John was on holiday, so they were both home more often with each other, which meant John had more chances to get mad both at Peter and things in general. Hours earlier, John was upset at Peter again, and yelled at him for a while before dinner. When they got set up to eat it was still tense and John had asked Peter to pass the salt over. When he tried, the shaker dropped from his grip and landed on the edge of his plate, causing it to break into a bunch of pieces, with shards of glass flying everywhere. No one got hit but it set John off again. He slammed his fist on the table and stood up to lean over Peter across the small, round table. Peter didn’t even really register anything he was saying, his ears started ringing and it felt like a switch flipped in his brain, like it got turned off in a second. Peter stood up too, and slid his shoes on his feet before walking out the door. He didn’t even know why. It wasn’t like John had really done anything, he hadn’t suddenly crossed a line he had been living on for as long as Peter knew him. He didn’t do anything different than normal, but Peter didn’t just listen and then go into his room when John had tired himself out like usual. He didn’t know what was different this time from so many other times before.
He can hear Pepper dial May’s number into her phone behind him, and hears it ring four times before May’s voice answers, “Hello?”
Peter shifts his gaze to Tony and sees him watching Pepper, listening to the call too.
“Hi May,” she pauses, sounding unsure of what to say, “We have Peter over here with us. He -”
“Oh,” May interrupts, “That’s where he went.” May sighs and sounds tired, sounds like she’s lived a thousand lives and doesn’t know what to do anymore, but she also sounds relieved.
“He seems really upset or something, I don’t know what’s happened but he hasn’t said a word since he got here,” Pepper continues.
“Yeah, John and him had a fight…” May trails off.
“May he seems really upset, I’ve never seen him anything close to what he’s acting like right now. I’m really worried,” Pepper interrupts.
“Yeah… I- Yeah,” she sighs, “John has been pretty stressed at work lately. Actually… would it be possible for him to stay with you guys for a bit. I- I think that would be best for him right now, to stay away for a bit.”
“Of course May, of course he can stay with us, he’s always welcome here. Do you want to come and stay here too? It would be no trouble at all, and if John’s-”
“No. No, it’s okay, I’m fine here.”
“Are you sure? We really wouldn’t mind.”
“No, I’m sure. I’m good here, really. Thank you for letting Peter stay with you. I think it’d be best for him to stay somewhere else. Thank you, really, I- I really appreciate it.”
“It’s no problem at all May. He can stay as long as he wants.”
“Thank you. I have to head into work, but I’ll talk to you later, yeah? Bye Pepper.”
“Bye May,” Pepper hangs up and sets her phone on the counter with a small sigh. Peter resumes his staring out the window and Tony turns to stare at him. Peter feels awkward. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, he feels like he doesn’t know Tony and Pepper at all, now. It’s one thing to know someone when you’re working in the lab together, or hanging out playing video games, but living with someone? That’s a whole different level. And he doesn’t even know for how long, but he doesn’t find himself caring. He’d be okay with staying here forever, now. He doesn’t know how he’ll feel when he has to go back to May and John, all he knows is that he doesn’t think he wants to.
Pepper walks into the living room and sits beside Peter on the couch. She reaches over and grabs his hand, giving it a squeeze before saying, “How about we watch a movie? How does that sound Peter?” Peter just starts picking at a loose thread in his pant leg and waits for the attention to be off of him.
“How about star wars, hmm? I know you like those ones,” Pepper responds, not showing that she minds Peter not talking. She grabs the box and starts it up. Peter leans against the back of the couch and falls asleep within twenty minutes.
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He wakes up to Tony touching his shoulder. “Hey there kid, the movies over, time for bed. Your necks going to kill you in the morning if you stay here,” Tony says softly.
Peter sits up, he doesn’t know when he laid down, and slowly stands. He’s barely awake and almost falls into the coffee table, so Tony takes his arm and guides him. When they’re inside his room Tony speaks again, “You know where everything is by now, so I’ll leave you to it. I’ll see you in the morning kid,” Tony gives him a smile, but Peter can see the concern in his eyes. “Goodnight, Tony,” Peter says back, barely above a whisper. Tony gives him one last look before he leaves and shuts the door behind him. Peter doesn’t think he would be able to change if he tried, so he lays down on the bed and FRIDAY shuts the lights off. He still feels numb, but he knows he’s in the right place now. He knows Tony will take care of everything.