Chapter 8
It’s a cool Tuesday afternoon, and Peter is one of the first people out of the school doors. The air is cold on his lungs, and he loves the feeling. He quickly goes down the stairs and goes to turn left to start his walk home when he hears a familiar voice call from the line of cars waiting in the pick up, “Peter!” He turns and sees Tony sitting in one of his cars, the driver's window rolled down enough so Tony could stick his arm out to wave at him. Peter jogs over, confused but happy to see him again. “Hey Tony. What are you doing here?”
“I haven’t seen you in a bit so I thought I’d pick you up and we’d go get something to eat.”
“Oh.” Peter feels icy panic spread through his body. “I don’t know, I’ve got a ton of homewo-”
“Nu-uh. I already texted May and she said you can come. You need to take a break from your work every once in a while. It’s good for you. Come on, hop in.” Tony waves his hand at Peter to step around the car and get in the passenger seat, and doesn’t wait for his response before rolling up the window. Peter doesn’t feel any better that Tony cleared it with May. What if John doesn’t want him to go out tonight? What if he already had a plan in mind and this changes it? What if he is annoyed that Peter made plans on such short notice? He squeezes his backpack straps tight and steps in front of the car. As he sits down he rests his backpack on his lap and hugs it to his chest. “I was thinking we could go to this diner just a few blocks away from here. It’s a nice place and I know it has chicken nuggets for you, I checked.” Tony smiles at Peter and turns his head away from him to look at the road as he pulls out. Peter can’t help but smile and laugh, Tony knows how picky he is when it comes to trying new foods, especially at restaurants. Tony chuckles back and asks Peter how his day was. “Good. How was yours?”
“Engh, boring. I got sucked into this meeting last minute, well not really last minute. It had been on my calendar for a month but I never check my calendar, so it was just last minute to me.”
“Why would you have a calendar if you don’t even use it?” Peter smiles, but he doesn’t feel anything other than panic and dread. He can’t get John out of his mind. He doesn’t belong in this car. He should be at home. Why couldn’t he just be at home? Luckily, Tony has his eyes on the road so he doesn’t see how pale Peter has gotten or how high and tense his shoulders are. He talks about how Pepper originally made the calendar, and now FRIDAY updates it for him, and more that Peter can’t hear. He’s trapped in his head. He responds in all the right places and nods where he should, but he can’t tell you anything Tony says.
Tony pulls into the parking lot and they get out of the car. They sit across from each other in a booth and give their orders to the waiter. Peter feels terrible. His leg won’t stop bouncing and he keeps biting his bottom lip. Tony doesn’t notice. Peter starts bouncing both legs before abruptly saying, “I’m gonna go to the washroom.” He stands, barely waiting to finish his sentence before quickly making his exit. He washes his hands and takes his time. He doesn’t want to go out there. He doesn’t even want to be there at all. He should be at home. He wants Tony to ask what’s wrong. He wants him to notice he’s stressed. He wants Tony to know. Peter walks out and tries to enjoy the rest of the meal with him. Peter thinks Tony must notice that he’s acting off, he feels on the verge of tears, but Tony shows no sign that he sees Peter’s struggling. Maybe Tony doesn’t notice. Maybe Tony doesn’t care.
As they’re stepping out of the restaurant, Tony turns towards the parking lot but Peter stops. “I think I actually want to patrol a bit tonight, so I don’t actually need a ride to my apartment.”
“Oh. Okay, yeah. Sure, that sounds good Pete. Make sure to be safe, and call me if you need anything okay?” Tony smiles at him, but also looks at him in a way to convey his seriousness.
“For sure Tony! I’ll see you later!” Peter waves and steps backwards, looking at Tony’s face. He wants Tony to see, but Tony just waves back and opens the car door. Peter lightly touches his fists together and gives Tony one last smile before turning around and jogging away. He starts sprinting after he turns the corner and knows Tony won’t be able to see him anymore. He goes down the first deep alley he sees and changes into his suit. He swings home and can feel his heart pounding hard in his chest. His arms are burning because he’s going so fast, but it still doesn’t feel fast enough. He’s freaking out. What will John think? What will John say? What will John do? He has no idea, and it is one of the worst things he’s ever felt. He should be at home.
He is breathing hard and can only feel his arms enough to change back into his clothes before jogging up the apartment stairs. He puts his key in the lock and opens the door. He can hear his heartbeat in his ear and tries to quiet his breathing. He sees John and May sitting on opposite sides of the couch. “Hey guys,” Peter calls out to them. May and John both turn to look at him. “Hey honey, how was it?” May asks.
“It was good,” Peter smiles at her, “I got chicken nuggets like always,” Peter ends with a soft chuckle. All he can feel is panic. John gives a single chuckle before turning back to the television. “I’m guessing you’re not hungry, right? If you are later there are some leftovers in the fridge. I made sandwiches.”
“Yeah, I think I’m good for now, but thanks May,” Peter responds. “I have some homework to get through,” Peter starts towards his room, “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Okay honey, see you later,” May smiles at him before turning her head away.
“See you later,” John replies.
Peter walks to his room and sets his backpack between his desk and bed. John wasn’t angry. John didn’t care. He still can’t help but feel that he’s done something terribly wrong. He still can’t help but think that he should have been at home. Peter can’t calm down his pounding heart, and the panic doesn’t leave him until he’s asleep.