Blackthorn Family (Theodore, Hazel, Madeleine, Margie, Edmund, Adele, & Alaina)
June 1928
Durham, England >>> London, England
Margie,
Hazel, Madeleine, and I have made a HUGE mistake.
HUGE.
Think worse than the Institute Christmas party of 1926, but not quite as bad as Uncle Alastair’s 40th birthday.
Normally we’d write to Edmund, but he’s off in Greece now and we need you to do damage control instead. Please, calmly and concisely, answer the following questions:
- How good of a mood are Mum and Dad in right now, on a scale of 1 - 10? Think: 10 is the happiest day of their lives (so the day I was born, until Hazel ruined it), and 1 is Uncle Alastair’s 40th birthday.
- Are Mum and Dad aware that we are on our way back to London today from Aunt Grace’s? And, if so, do they know our train will be calling at Kings Cross at 16:00 hours? If so, please inform them it will be at Paddington at 20:00 hours.
- If we (and by “we” I mean “Madeleine”) theoretically brought a goat home with our cases, how do you think Mum and Dad would react on a scale from 1 - 10? Please refer to the above units of measurement.
Do not speak a word of this to anyone - not even Elizabeth! We need time to plan, theoretically.
Yours,
Theodore
London, England >>> Durham, England
Theo,
Is this what it’s like to be the oldest? By the Angel, no wonder Edmund ran off to Greece.
You’re all in so much trouble - here you go:
- I do not understand the scale and I will not use it. Does this make 5 their average mood? But I feel like they’re normally happier than a 5, are they not? You just spent the week with Aunt Grace - surely you should understand how to better construct a quantitative scale. As a professional journalist, I would never lead my readers astray with such subjective statements. Anyways, Mum and Dad are in a normal mood. Dad is a little bit annoyed because apparently the head of the Berlin Institute sent out some ridiculous missive across Europe, but overall they are happy and eager to see you…
- …today at 16:00 at Kings Cross. Honestly, Theodore, did you think they would forget to pick you up? They would never do that; the only child they’ve ever forgotten is me, if you’ll recall, back in 1923, when they completely forgot to collect me from Aunt Cordelia and Uncle James’ house. This turned out well for me, because I got to sleepover with Elizabeth an extra night.
- I don’t even know what to say to this. You’re dead. Madeleine already has two horses, two dogs, and a pig… someone needs to tell her to stop collecting every stray animal she sees along the way. On the flip side, perhaps she has so many animals that Mum and Dad will no longer mind if she keeps getting more - most of the damage is done.
Good luck. Please annoy Edmund with these requests moving forward.
Yours,
Margie
Durham, England >>> London, England
Margie,
You’re fired.
We want Edmund back as The Oldest.
Yours,
Theodore, Hazel, and Madeleine
Durham, England >>> Athens, Greece
Edmund,
I miss you so much.
If Mum finally comes true on her promise and tosses my remains in the Cornish Sea, it was nice knowing you.
At the funeral, make sure everyone knows it was Madeleine’s fault.
Your loving brother,
Theodore
Durham, England >>> Athens, Greece
Edmund,
It was not my fault!! Theodore told me that the goat was going to be put down if we left her in Durham, and he knew I wasn’t going to let that happen!
I purchased her for £3. Mum and Dad will simply have to deal with it.
I’ve named her Dolly, and she will live in the barn with Cookie and Stephen and Miranda. It will all be fine.
Miss you,
Madeleine
Durham, England >>> Athens, Greece
Edmund,
I have nothing to add, I just wanted to send a fire message to be in on the fun, too.
Except… did you hear about Essa and Graham? They’re finally courting, yay yay yay!
Your favourite sister,
Hazel
London, England >>> Athens, Greece
Edmund,
How do you deal with these lunatics all the time? I’m sure Theodore has written to you by now - they’re out of their minds, the whole lot of them.
Thankfully, you have a mature, level-headed sister like me to make it all worth it.
Yours,
Margie
Athens, Greece >>> Durham, England
All:
I love and miss the three of you, but I reckon you’ve lost the plot.
Theodore: Mum is hardly going to throw you in the ocean, but if she does I will cause a scene at the funeral and pin the blame entirely on Madeleine.
Mads: I love you and your generous heart, but you can hardly save every animal on the planet that is going to the slaughter. I’m sure Mum and Dad will let it slide this time (just like every time before…) but eventually we will run out of space in the Institute barn.
Hazel: Yes, Theodore told me two weeks ago! How exciting - we’ve always known they would get together eventually. I’m sure Uncle Matthew and Uncle Alastair are thrilled.
Re the goat: remember Dad is always easier to convince than Mum. He’s a real softie.
Stay out of trouble until I get back, and send my love to everyone in London!
Yours,
Edmund
Athens, Greece >>> London, England
Marge,
As if you aren’t the biggest headache of the lot! Lest we remember your asylum adventure with Erich Cartwright last summer…
I miss you very much, and I can’t wait for you to visit Athens later this month. I love you - hold down the fort in London for me until then!
Yours,
Edmund
Durham, England >>> London, England
Adele and Alaina,
It is with desperation that we turn to you, the funniest, smartest, and, let’s face it, most promising of the Blackthorn siblings. We have an urgent mission that needs completion, and you two are the only ones who can finish the job.
We are bringing home a new pet from Durham - a sweet little goat, who is currently wrapped up in one of Margie’s old jumpers that Hazel stole (oops). We only have one problem (the same problem as always): Mum and Dad.
We need a way to sneak the goat into the stables before they notice, and we need you to devise a plan to keep them away from Kings Cross and the Institute. The best thing to distract Mum is Aunt Cordelia, and the best thing to distract Dad is when the weapons go on offer at Idris Antiques.
Adele, can you drag Mum to Aunt Cordelia’s? And Alaina, can you get Dad to take you to Idris?
You will be well rewarded for your service.*
Yours,
Theodore, Madeleine, and Hazel
*We will buy you each one sweet from the grocer’s the next time we are out.
London, England >>> Durham, England
Hi,
We tried, but Mum and Dad said they need to pick you up at 16:00 from Kings Cross.
Sorry!
Best,
Alaina
Durham, England >>> London, England
Alaina,
NO NO NO!
They cannot come to Kings Cross at 16:00. You must find a way to distract them!
THE SURVIVAL OF OUR GOAT FRIEND DEPENDS ON IT!
Yours,
Theodore
London, England >>> Durham, England
Theodore, Madeleine, and Hazel,
YOU’RE WELCOME, and so lucky that I’m the BEST SISTER EVER.
I told Mum and Dad that you bought the goat for me as I need it for a piece I am writing for the Idris Gazette about which farm animals are the most cost-efficient for Institutes in these financially challenging times.
I know - SO BORING.
Now that I am going to have to waste HOURS conducting research and writing this piece (when I really ought to be in Berlin reporting on that missive - Owen said I could stay with him, but Mum and Dad said no), I figured the least you could let me do is name the goat.
So we’ll call her Nellie if it’s a girl, or Bly if it’s a boy, after my favourite journalist of all time, the infamous Nellie Bly. (Don’t you think Mum and Dad ought to let me move to America, so I can be a reporter in New York City like her?)
Anyways. You’re welcome, and we’ll see you soon.
Yours,
Margie