Cheating?

“Common floor please Friday, are all the Avengers there?”

Rhodey asked, Tony too shaky with nerves. “Yes sir.”

“Perfect.”

The elevator trip was spent in complete silence, and they braced themselves as the door opened. 

The occupants of the room stopped what they were doing to glance at the elevator, as everyone who usually was in the common room, was there, save for Tony. 

“What is this Stark?” Steve raised an unimpressed eyebrow, before nodding to Pepper and Rhodey. “Miss Potts, Colonel Rhodes.”

Tony covered his snicker, how typical of Steve.

“Well, it’s to be Mrs Stark-Rhodes soon.”

“Exactly, Colonel Stark-Rhodes from now on.”

“Yeah, you’ll have to call me Stark-Rhodes from now on, bit of a mouthful ain’t it? Not being able to just yell Stark at me and hope I’ll respond.” He gave shit eating grin to the gobsmacked people in the room. 

“This is a joke, isn’t it?” Clint called out.

“And why would it be?” Pepper raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow, daring him to say anymore. Instead of backing down like would have been smart, he kept going.

“‘Cause no one in their right mind would marry Stark, let alone to people, for starters and also, that’s hella unnatural. Three people in a relationship? That’s fucking slutty. Talking to you, Stark.”

Pepper and Rhodey looked like they wanted to kill the archer but Tony put a hand up, signalling to them to be quiet. 

“That’s Stark-Rhodes to you.” 

Clint looked disgusted, scoffing at them and going back to cleaning his bow, for whatever reason. It didn’t make him look threatening and he hadn’t been out since Tony’s last proper cleaning of equipment.

Wanda didn’t even deign to speak to them, choosing to ignore them in favour of whatever ‘meditation’ shit she was doing. 

Steve was still standing frozen. “Stark, can I talk to you?” He was using his Captain voice, motioning for him to walk over, to his joy Tony did, but not without bringing his ‘partners’. 

“Alone?” He sneered at the other two, so much for respecting them. 

“Anything you say to me, you can say to them.” He sneered back leaning into Rhodey’s embrace. 

“Can you maybe,” he motioned to Tony and Rhodey were standing. “Not, in public spaces at least.”

“Excuse me, what? That’s homophobic and 100% not accepted anymore.” Pepper stepped in front of them.

“I-I’m not homophobic.” He turned red before finding his tongue again. “And you. Encouraging this… Behaviour? I thought more of you Miss Potts.”

Her gaze was steely. “What does that mean?”

“I’m just saying, it’s not natural. Marriage is between a man and a woman or at the very least only two people.” He spat the ‘two’ out. 

“Out.”

“I-I’m sorry?” He looked stunned.

“You have exactly 2 hours to gather all your belongings and leave.”

“W-where will I go?”

“Not my concern.” Pepper was stone faced, she didn’t give a shit, neither did Rhodey, while Tony looked genuinely distressed about kicking Steve out. He leaned over and whispered to Pepper. “By the generosity of my fiance you will be allowed to stay, under a few conditions that Rhodey and I put in place and see to it are followed. Why he lets you stay, I will never understand, but just know it is him. If I had it my way, you would all have been sent out on arses. 

“The rules extend to all the rogues excluding Nat, James and Sam, understood?”

He looked shocked. “Why Sam and Nat? They were on our side too, not that we’ve done anything wrong, but still.”

“Because when they found out, they smiled and congratulated us, not ridiculed and frankly bullied us.” Rhodey replied, not flinching at Steve’s posturing.

Steve’s eyes darkened at the word ‘bully’. “Bullied, bullied? I am not a bully, Stark is. He claims to be doing better but he was a playboy, he flirted with girls, slept with them and then left before morning. He will never be half the man Howard was, always having to be the centre of attention, throwing massive parties, spending more money than he knows what to do with.”

Rhodey and Pepper looked murderous at his comparison to Howard, ready to attack, Tony stopping them once again. He was truly too merciful to Steve.

“Howard Stark was a bully, he spent his whole life reminding me that I would never amount to anything, comparing me to you. Do you know what his first reaction was to my first circuit board at 4? To throw it across the room and hit me for ‘bothering him’. All through my life I have never been good enough, used as a punching bag and talked down to by a man who was in love with you. I was never enough for him, when he died I was 17, that was the first time I got drunk, not because of his death, but because of Mama’s.

“I’m so glad Rhodey was there to pick up the pieces, because I would have died that day if he didn’t. If it hadn’t been through alcohol, it would have been my own hand. You are a bully Steve, you think you’re so much better than the Nazis, yes the Nazis. But I think you’d have no problem outing the three of us, full well knowing the danger that would put us in. So much for sticking up for the little guy.

“My name is Tony Stark-Rhodes, Genius, Billionaire, Philanthropist, Family Man and this is my family. So don’t come near us again, you’re not being kicked out because of one thing and one thing only, I pride myself on being a generous person, go now.”

Steve looked like he wanted to say something, probably defend Howard or his own honour, tell him not to speak ill of the dead, but one look at the triad’s face and he left. They all sat down, tired from it and disappointed (but not surprised) at how badly it went. 

“Boss, Peter Parker and Harley Keener are inquiring about your whereabouts.”

“Send them up, baby girl.” 

Natasha and Sam walked in, with murderous and understanding faces respectively. 

“I can kill them if you’d like.”

Rhodey and Pepper looked like they most certainly would like as Tony just sat next to Sam. 

“Yeah man, it sucks. Had to deal with a guy in our squad who thought it’d be funny to try and out Riley and I. Said we didn’t have what it took to serve if we were both ‘fags’. Same guy who cried and said meaningless words at Riley’s funeral.”

Tony smiled sadly at him, understanding blooming on his features. “It does.”

They all sat in silence until Harley and Peter came bursting in. “What’s with the losers? Two of them look like they’ve just won a million dollars and Mr Righteous looks like a kicked puppy.”

The triad didn’t want to explain what had happened, just getting Friday to pull up the footage. It was a very tense atmosphere, no one wanting to talk.

“Well I guess congratulations are in order.” Harley broke the silence with a shit eating grin. He jumped into Rhodey’s lap, kissing Pepper and the cheek and ruffling Tony’s hair, who scowled and shook his head, scrunching his nose like a disgruntled kitten.

“And who cares about them? Fuck them.”

“Harley!” The triad yelled as Peter, Sam and Nat snickered.

“No, I’m serious.”

“He’s right y’know.” Peter said, going around and hugging the three. “Who cares what they think? Your family loves you.”

He beamed at everyone in the kitchen. “You too guys.” He gestured at Sam and Nat.

“You’re family now, can't escape it.” 

They all had a good laugh, before Harley suggested they celebrate with a movie and an obscene amount of junk food, cuddles and blankets. The movie was once again Mean Girls, which got a bit of good natured booing, but in the end they put it on for Tony who looked thrilled. 

Looking around, Tony couldn’t imagine a better family.