Chapter 5
"Where you scared?"
Steve turns around. Dick has shed his mask and Steve can read the earnest questioning look on the boy's face.
Steve shakes his head, "No."
Surprise and doubt cross Dick’s face in rapid succession. Steve smiles softly. The fear of death is something he lost long ago, if he could even claim he ever had it at all. Born with one foot in the grave – That’s what the doctors had already said – always teetering on the verge of falling in. Ma hated when they said that, but Steve hadn’t minded. They hadn’t been wrong and Steve sees no sense in sugar coating the truth or trying to hide from the inevitable.
“How were you not scared? You could have died!” Dick says. His face is pinched and his arms are pressed protectively against his chest.
“Everybody dies eventually,” Steve says gently, “I’m not afraid of death. I’ve got some good folks waiting on me on the other side.”
Ma, Peggy, most of the Howling Commandos, and so many others he lost along the way. Steve hopes heaven isn’t divided by dimensions.
“I guess bravery just comes naturally to you, huh?” Dick mutters, ducking his head.
“Being brave comes naturally with practice.” Steve corrects. Dick glances up at him. There’s a look of hero worship and awe on his face that is reminiscent of the night they first met. Steve feels himself blushing under such a look.
"Anyway,” he says hastily, “I should go wash off this pollen or I'll be wheezing for the rest of the night."
He leaves Dick standing int the hall. In the bathroom, he brushes off as much pollen as he can, holding back sneezes, before stripping off his borrowed uniform. Hot water gushes out over Steve’s body. He stifles a yawn as he scrubs the dirt out of his hair. He fights against the exhaustion that has settled in his bones, determined to be awake when Bucky returns. He can count super soldier stamina as one of the things he misses about the serum. On the bright side, caffeine will actually have an effect on him now so it’s not a total loss. Steve dries off and, ignoring the comfortable guest bed available to him, heads back down the cave.
Alfred is a mind reader. That is the only explanation Steve think of to explain the giant mug of piping hot coffee waiting by his seat in the cave. He gulps down the coffee and observes the room. Dick is nodding off next to Bruce who is writing his report. Clark is ignoring his own mug of coffee to stare thoughtfully in the distance.
The crackling of the radio startles them all.
“I got her.” Bucky says.
Steve melts into his chair in relief. The mission wasn’t a complete failure. Bruce stands up.
"Hold her. I want to question her before I take a closer look at the spores she was creating."
He heads to the batmobile, jerking his head for Dick to follow and the boy does so eagerly.
“Man the comms,” Bruce says over his shoulder and Steve jumps up to take the seat at the computer. As the batmobile roars out of the cave, Steve feels a presence drop into the seat next to him.
“How are you feeling?” Clark asks.
“Fine.” Steve says shortly, keeping his eyes firmly on Bruce’s half-finished report pulled up on the computer screen.
“That’s good,” Clark says awkwardly, “Ma has terrible allergies too.”
Steve hums in sympathy, but otherwise remains silent, He neither needs nor wants a conversation on his various weaknesses. His fingers tap the desk as he resists the urge to call in for a status report.
“I’m sorry,” Clark bursts out suddenly. Steve blinks.
“I saw you there and I panicked.” Clark continues, “I don’t have any excuse for it, so sorry.”
Steve opens his mouth, then shuts it. Nobody has ever apologized for treating him like the 95-pound weakling that he is and he’s not exactly sure how to respond to it. Not that he needs to as Clark continues rambling.
“You’d think I’d be better about handling people launching themselves into danger given all the experience I have with Lois, but I’m really not. And it’s not because you’re weak, it’s just that humans in general are so fragile.”
Steve is tempted to let him keep talking, just to see how long he will go – and knowing Clark it could be hours – but he looks sincerely apologetic and Steve takes pity on the man.
“Clark, it’s okay. You aren’t the first one to think that a fella who can barely run without giving himself an asthma attack might not be great at holding his own in a fight and you definitely won’t be the last.”
“Yeah, but the other guys weren’t your teammates.” Clark says, “I should know better.”
Steve smiles warmly at him, “thanks, but I don’t know how much I count as being part of the team when I’m like this.”
He gestures to himself.
“It won’t last forever,” Clark says.
“And if it does?” Steve asks, voicing for the first time the fear that has lingering in the back of everybody’s mind; this could be permanent. Steve may have to get used to counting his breathes during an asthma attack and hearing his irregular heartbeat pound every time he runs again. He has no doubt in his mind that he can adjust – he has from his perspective spent more time in this body than Captain America’s body – but it’s not a process that he’s looking forward to.
“Then it doesn’t matter,” Clark says immediately. Steve sighs, while he’s grateful for the thought, he’s also completely aware that he can’t be The Captain like this and most superhero teams have little use for an undersized asthmatic with a penchant for getting punched.
“I’m serious,” Clark says, “Who else is going to drag Bucky out of his flashbacks? Or make Bruce play nice? Dick still hangs on every word you say. You’re our leader whether you’re on the field or not.”
Steve feels his face heat up and he looks away, uncertain at how to respond to that. He readjusts his headset, letting a real smile steal across his face.
"Captain to Sarge. Find anything?"
Bucky taps his earpiece, "possibly. Batman is collecting samples now."
“Make sure he collects enough for Iron Man to run some tests on it too."
"On it," Bucky says.
Bruce is hunched over a bouquet of brightly colored flowers. Bucky has never seen Batman surrounded by so much color. It looks faintly ridiculous. Dick at least looks more camouflaged than ever surrounded by all the greens, reds, and yellows. Perhaps there were some benefits to his costume after all.
Bucky leans over Bruce's shoulder. The sweet earthy scent of the flowers is almost overpowering this close.
"Cap wants to make sure you collect double samples of everything."
He receives a grunt in response. Bruce is on edge. He's not used to having a teammate so vulnerable and he's definitely not used to Steve's tiny tough guy attitude. Bucky almost feels sorry for him. Finishing his work, Bruce stands. He has a collection of carefully organized seed and pollen samples, which he tucks away in his belt.
"We should get back to the cave." Bruce says, then looks around, "where's Robin?"
"Here I am," Dick pokes his head out of the backroom.
"Find anything?" Bucky asks.
"More seeds. Frozen seeds," Dick says. He holds up a bag of icy seeds.
"Mr. Freeze." Bruce says.
"We never did find out why he, Poison Ivy, and the Joker were working together that night." Bucky says as they pack up.
"It's not like the Joker to play nice with anyone," Dick says thoughtfully, "unless he's planning something big."
Bucky watches as worry passes over Dick’s face and resists the urge to sling his arm over the boy’s shoulders and tell him that The Joker is just a no good punk. Dick hates being treated like a kid almost as much as Steve hates being treated as an invalid.
"Gordon already agreed to let me interrogate Ivy tomorrow night." Bruce says, "we'll find out exactly what they're planning then."
They head back to the lab where they can divvy up the samples, Bruce carefully labelling each one. Steve examines each sample wondering which one of the innocent looking bits of seeds and powder is responsible for his current condition.
The clock strikes five AM.
"Want a lift back to Metropolis?" Clark asks. Steve looks up from his pack of seeds.
"You don't mind?"
"Nah, I've got to take Krypto out before work anyway."
Steve hesitates. He does need to get the seeds into Tony’s hands and a few hours of sleep wouldn’t hurt either. Yet, he can’t leave Gotham with the case still unresolved. It’s just not in him to leave things unfinished.
As if reading his thoughts Clark grins, "Come on. I'll fly you back after work."
“Alright,” Steve allows and Clark wraps an arm around his waist. The air above Gotham is chilly and heavy with the threat of rain. Steve breathes it all in as deeply as his stuttering lungs will permit.
All too soon Clark drops him off on the roof of his apartment. He lingers there watching daylight slowly creep up over the city skyline. It’s long after Clark has disappeared from sight that Steve thinks to move and realizes his predicament; he’s not entirely sure how to get down from here. He leans over the edge of the roof. Nine stories is a long way down. He could call for Clark, but then he would have to admit that he’s stuck. His ears burn in embarrassment at the thought. Besides nine stories isn't so bad.
Steve eases one leg over the side, dropping inch by inch until he feels the window ledge under his shoe. With great care, his left leg joins the right one. Hanging onto the thin window ledge, his arms shake with exertion.
Not trusting himself to let go with one hand to pull the window open, he tries wedging his foot into the open gap. A slight breeze makes him wobble and he clings tighter to the side of the building. After a few heart pounding moments where Steve feels his fingers slowly beginning to lose their grip, he gets the window open. Steve flings himself inside, putting no thought into gracefulness. He tumbles into his bed, startling one of the cats.
"Sorry Peggy," he murmurs offering a scratch behind the ears before heading into the kitchen. His stomach grumbles, but he pushes it away. Food and sleep can come after he drops off the samples to Tony. Yawning, he pushes a button. In a flash of red, he appears in Tony’s kitchen.
He doesn't wait for Friday to announce him, heading straight to Tony's lab. Despite the odd hour, he’s unsurprised to see both Tony and Bruce there, pouring over complicated looking notes.
"Cap! What brings you to my humble abode?" Tony asks cheerfully.
"Any updates?"
A guilty frown tugs on Tony's lips.
"Not yet," he admits, "Mrs. Swamp Thing is a bit cleverer than I gave her credit for."
Steve nods, expecting as much.
"We did find some low level gamma radiation on the pollen and we're pursuing that angle," Bruce says.
"That’s good, would more data help?" Steve asks. He holds up the seeds. Tony snatches them out of his hands.
"Hell yes it does," Tony says. He immediately begins analyzing the bag as Steve fills Bruce in on how they were acquired.
"Bruce, look at this gamma concentration," Tony waves them both over, "I told you that it wasn't residual radiation."
Bruce adjusts the screen for a better look, frowning thoughtfully. Next to him, Tony is a flurry of motion as he begins writing down a string of numbers. From there theories and jargon fly over Steve's head. Bruce politely tries explaining them to him but Tony interrupts.
"Don't worry short fry. Give us a little more time and we'll have you back to your old beefcake self."
Steve rolls his eyes, but there's no heat in it. "Thanks guys."
Tony and Bruce walk him back to the kitchen, still bandying ideas back in forth over his head. Steve's pretty sure they don't even notice him slipping away.
Standing in his kitchen, Steve breathes in the peaceful silence. Sleep is calling him, but he grabs a bagel on his way past. He collapses into bed, asleep almost immediately. He’s awoken a solid eight hours later by a thump from the other room.
Clark is waiting for him in the kitchen, Krypto lying at his feet. The dog rolls on his back at Steve's arrival, begging for affection, which Steve happily gives. He raises an eyebrow at Clark.
“I didn’t want to leave him alone all evening again.” Clark says.
Steve smiles. Clark has taken to pet ownership just as well as Bucky predicted he would. And Krypto has come a long way since his adoption under Clark's and Bucky's careful training. He hardly chases cats with super speed anymore.
"Any updates?" Clark asks. Steve shrugs.
"When I left, they were babbling about gamma radiation. I think that's a good thing?"
Steve stands up. Krypto barks, rearing on his back legs in annoyance at the loss of attention.
"Down boy." Clark tugs on the leash. To Steve he asks, "ready to go?"
Steve nods. Clark lifts off and, taking a clue from his master, so does Krypto. There's complete freedom in the air that can never be found on the ground and, to Steve’s delight, Krypto makes the most of it. He zigs and zags across the sky, tugging on Clark's cape when he flies too slow and bothering birds as they flutter past. Clark struggles to keep him controlled as Steve laughs.
They touch down in Gotham. Alfred doesn't say anything as he lets them inside, but he does give the dog a downright suspicious glare as if daring him to make a mess of the pristine manor. Krypto doesn't seem to notice as he greets the elderly butler with enthusiastic jumping until Clark manages to calm him down. Steve leaves Clark apologizing to Alfred in the front hall.
The batcave is silent.
"Hello?" Steve calls, stepping into the dim cavern.
Bucky looks up from the computer, "Bruce and Dick got a call from Gordon. It's a robbery."
"Do they need backup?" Steve asks.
"Not for a minor bank robbery. They should be back soo-"
His words are cut off by the emergency line switching on.