Chapter 3
Tony was woken up by his phone blaring Pork and Beans by Wheezer. He snatched it up as Loki stirred beside him. Before he could yell at whoever had woken him up, he heard Peter's sobbing.
"M-M-Mr. S-Stark?"
"Pete!" Tony yelped, jolting upright. "What's wrong?!"
Loki was instantly awake, looking worried.
"A-Aunt M-May k-kicked me o-out," Peter cried.
"What! Why?!"
"I..." he heard Peter swallow. "I'm g-gay."
"I'm going to kill her," Tony seethed.
"N-no! P-please don't, s-sir, I-"
"We'll come pick you up," Tony soothed, not promising anything. That b****! How dare she hurt his so- assistant! "We'll have to shower and dress first-" We still smell like se-
(TONY!
Whaaaat?)
"That's okay, Mr. Stark," Peter rasped. "Bye."
"Bye, kiddo," Tony said gently. He waited until Peter had hung up before jumping out of bed and snatching a change of clothes.
"What is it?" Loki demanded.
"Peter came out, his aunt his homophobic, she kicked him out-"
"WHAT?!"
"-he's staying at Avengers Tower," Tony finished, rushing over to the bathroom. "I have to tell the team."
"I thought you didn't want him on missions," Loki said slowly, following him.
"I don't, but that doesn't mean he can't live with us.
"We have to take separate showers," Tony said regretfully. "Otherwise we'll get distracted, Peter needs us."
You do care for the spider child, Loki said softly.
"I consider him my kid." Tony jumped into the shower. "FRI, Tell Nat to make pancakes!"
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Peter sat on the front steps with two suitcases. The doorman had seen him struggling with his luggage and insisted on carrying both down. Peter could have carried both down, given that he was much stronger than most people, but even with his super-strength, he shouldn't drag heavy things while he was recovering.
Mr. Stark's car pulled up, and the man jumped out, almost tripping over the sidewalk. Peter launched into his arms, sobbing.
"Shh, Pete, shh," Tony soothed, running his fingers through his hair. "Hap, but Peter's luggage in the car, would you?"
"I will help," the smooth, calm voice of Lockton Silver said, helping Peter to relax slightly. Peter still thought it was awesome that Loki could change his voice as well as his looks.
Tony gently lifted Peter in his arms and carried him to the car. Loki appeared a moment later, carrying Peter's crutches. When he reached for them, Tony gently swatted his hand. "I'm carrying you all day today if I can help it, Peter," he declared.
Peter blushed. "I don't mind using my crutches, Mr. Stark-"
"No arguments. You're being carried."
Peter sighed. "Yes, Mr. Stark." He hesitated. "Um, I told Ned he could come over and I'd help him build his new LEGO Death Star-"
"LEGO?" Loki questioned. "'Death Star?'"
"Oh, my gosh, I forgot to introduce you to Star Wars," Tony said gleefully. Loki rolled his eyes, and Peter giggled. "He can come over to the Avengers Tower, kiddo, it's fine."
Peter gaped at him. "I -- we -- Avengers Tower?"
"Yup," Tony nodded. "You're a Junior Avenger, aren't you?"
"A what?"
"I don't want you on full missions yet," Tony admitted. "I don't want you to get hurt. Besides, someone's gotta help the little guy. Like the woman who gave you her churro!"
"You -- you heard-" Peter was so happy; he'd thought Tony had been ignoring him.
Loki chuckled, making Tony turn bright red. "Antony has been bragging about your good deeds so often that he spends more time talking about you than almost anything else. It's rather adorable."
"I'm not adorable!" Tony huffed. Peter giggled again.
"When does your friend wish to come to the tower?" Loki asked.
"Well, he said after school," Peter said, "but, well, that's when I patrol as Spiderman."
"Not today you aren't," Tony frowned.
"You can heal me now, Mr. Stark," Peter pointed out. "The... the only reason you couldn't yesterday was... was because of A-Aunt May, and now that I'm staying at Avengers Tower -- who knows my identity?"
"I told Lokes, and Hap knows," Tony began.
Loki gave him a dry, fond look. "He means of the Avengers you work with."
"Ahhh," Tony grinned, making Peter giggle again. "Vision probably guessed, I don't know. Otherwise no one."
"You can tell them, I don't mind. Um... who's there right now, anyway?" Peter asked.
"Everyone, it's been a bit of a boring month," Tony shrugged.
Loki snorted when Peter looked confused. "Thor, the Iron Patriot, AKA Mr. Rhodes, Vision, the Hulk, AKA Dr. Banner, Black Widow, AKA Natasha Romanoff-"
"You mean Dr. Bruce Banner?" Peter squealed. "Oh my gosh, the paper he did on neurotransmitters-"
"Is he speaking English?" Tony whispered dramatically, causing Peter to burst out laughing.
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Loki carried Peter this time, and his arms were much warmer, stronger, and softer than Tony's. The three of them -- Happy was taking Peter's luggage to his room -- headed up to the fifth floor, where the half of the Avengers who were working with the government were gathered in a dining room. Thor and Dr. Banner -- Peter recognized him from his picture -- were playfully bantering about Poptarts (Thor's favorite Midgardian sweet); Vision and Mr. Rhodes were talking in low voices about something; and a tall, powerful woman came into the kitchen with a huge platter of pancakes and syrup.
"Just in time!" Tony declared with a grin, reaching for a pancake.
The woman swatted him. "Guests first." She smiled warmly at Peter. "Hello, you must be Peter Parker. I'm Natasha Romanoff."
"Hi," Peter replied politely. "Thanks, Miss Romanoff, but I'm not really that hungry."
"Eat," Tony and Loki ordered together. Loki set him down in the chair next to Thor, who was giving him a concerned look. Sighing, Peter used his good arm to put a pancake on his plate. As soon as he did so, the males -- minus Vision and Loki -- began squabbling over the pancakes. When the dust settled, there were six pancakes left, which Loki and Vision split in a much calmer fashion.
"Introductions!" Tony said brightly, having taken the seat on Peter's other side. Loki leaned against his boyfriend's seat. "Name, super-hero name, favorite food, favorite movie, favorite Disney villain, and something cool about you. Rhodey first, we'll go around the table."
"Disney villain? Really?" Rhodey deadpanned. Before Tony could reply, he said, "You already know my name, so I'll just get to the other parts. My 'Super-Hero' name is the Iron Patriot, my favorite food is Chicken Pot Pie, my favorite movie is Star Wars: The Phantom Menace-"
Peter gave a muffled squeal of delight before blushing. "Sorry, I interrupted."
"It's fine, kid," Rhodey grinned. "My favorite Disney villain... probably Hades, from Hercules. The cool thing about me is I can put up with Tony's insanity."
This caused snickers from most of the group, a wounded glare from Tony, and a giggle from Peter.
"What is Disney?" asked Thor.
"You haven't introduced Thor to Disney, Bruce?" Tony sniggered.
"I showed him a few movies," Dr. Banner said dryly. "Disney is a group of people who put together cute movies the whole family can watch. You remember when I showed you Pocahontas, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella? They were made by Disney."
"Ah," Thor mused.
"I believe it is my turn?" Vision said. "I have no super-hero name, and the child has already been introduced to me. I don't really eat, but I suppose my favorite food would be Miss Widow's pancakes."
"Flirt," Natasha drawled, making Peter giggle. He took a bite and gave a muffled gasp. They were really good!
Vision chuckled. "My favorite movie... Extra Terrestrial."
"It's called E.T.," Tony corrected.
Vision ignored him. "I am not sure about an interesting thing about myself-"
"You're the only one in this house, besides Lockton, who can stomach Steven King," Natasha pointed out. Dr. Banner paled and Thor turned faintly green. Loki just smirked faintly. Peter dropped his fork, snatching Thor's hand. The big Asgardian squeezed it very gently.
"I am?" Vision was surprised. When everyone nodded, Vision blinked, then continued. "My favorite Disney villain is DOR-15."
"Duh," Tony snorted. "She's cool, but I like Dr. Facilier from Princess and the Frog."
Because he's most like Loki, Peter guessed. Judging by Rhodey's stifled snort, Thor's faintly amused look, and Dr. Banner's raised eyebrow, they caught the hidden meaning, too.
Natasha cleared her throat. "My Avengers name is Black Widow. My favorite food is blue jello. My favorite movie is -- actually, you probably wouldn't know it, it's Russian."
"Try me, Miss Romanoff," Peter said. He loved watching foreign films.
"Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi," Natasha said, raising a delicate eyebrow.
"That one was cool," Peter agreed. "I watched it a couple years ago."
Natasha grinned. "I'm guessing you watched the English version."
"Actually, I watched both," Peter said eagerly. "I was learning Russian, and watching movies in other languages always helps when I'm learning another language."
"You speak Russian? Really?" Natasha asked with a smirk. "Я очень в этом сомневаюсь."
"Ten bucks Я доказываю что ты не прав," Peter smirked. Loki chuckled.
"Well played," Natasha snickered.
"Ahem," Tony interjected. "No one but you two speak Russian. Except Thor, who speaks a gazillion languages."
"I speak Allspeak, which allows me to understand and speak every language in existence," Thor corrected.
"She said 'I highly doubt that,'" Peter translated, "and I said, 'Ten bucks I prove that you are wrong.'"
"You owe him ten bucks, Nat," Tony grinned. "Now, We still have two more people to introduce. Finish up."
"That's okay, you don't have to, Miss Romanoff," Peter said quickly.
Natasha waved a hand and pulled a ten dollar bill from her pocket. "'Miss Romanoff' is too formal. You can call me whatever you want."
"Okay, мама паук," Peter said, reluctantly taking the money. Natasha beamed.
"Gosh, she's smiling, it's terrifying," Tony said dramatically.
Natasha ignored him. "My favorite Disney villain is Mother Gothel, from Tangled, and... hmm... I've always wanted to use a lightsaber." Tony opened his mouth, but Natasha said sharply, "You are not building lightsabers, Tony Stark."
Peter burst into giggles, which caused the rest of the table to laugh except Tony, who was pouting.
"Me next," Dr. Banner said. He turned to Peter, looking slightly resigned. "I'm Bruce Banner-"
Peter gasped. "Dr. Bruce Banner?!" He would have reacted earlier, but the others didn't know that he was Spiderman, and knew about their secret identities. "You wrote amazing papers on neurotransmitters and gamma radiation and all your work is so amazing and I'm your biggest fan-"
"Whoa, Pete, breath," Tony laughed. Peter took a deep breath
Dr. Banner was staring at Peter, his eyes slightly misty. "Tony?"
"Yes?"
"We're keeping him," Dr. Banner said hoarsely. Thor looked like he wanted to hug him, but he refrained.
"Well duh," Tony snorted, making Peter blush. "He doesn't really have anywhere else to stay, and he's totally awesome." Peter smiled shyly.
"Aww," Natasha cooed, "I just want to eat him!"
Dr. Banner cleared his throat, seeing that Peter was getting slightly uncomfortable with the attention. "My Avenger name is the Hulk. My favorite food is lasagna." Peter nodded appreciatively; lasagna was good. "My favorite move is Beauty and the Beast. My favorite Disney villain is probably Lots-o, from Toy Story 3. Either that or Gaston."
Loki choked on a bite of pancake, and Peter gave him a slightly confused look. Loki shook his head, gesturing Later.
"I... don't know about anything that's interesting about me," Dr. Banner said, blushing faintly.
"I could name several," Thor corrected. Dr. Banner blushed harder. "You hate green apples with a passion; you adore kittens and puppies, which I find adorable-"
By this time, Dr. Banner was as red as a cherry.
"Moving swiftly on!" Dr. Banner blurted. "It's your turn, Thor."
Thor sighed and turned to Peter. "We have been introduced, so, I suppose I will skip the first two. My favorite food is Apple-Cinnamon Poptarts." He ignored Tony's snort. "I have not watched many of your Midgardian movies, but I rather enjoyed Maleficent and the sequel. I have not watched enough 'Disney' movies to pick my favorite as of yet, but my favorite villain of the movies I have watched is Mr. Hyde, from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde."
Dr. Banner flushed and glared at Tony. "This is your fault."
Tony gave him an innocent look and turned to Peter. "Your turn, kiddo."
Peter sat up slightly at the confused looks from everyone but Vision. "You all know my name. My Avenger name is Spiderman-" Several gasps interrupted him.
"But you're, like, twelve!" Rhodey yelped. Natasha had raised an eyebrow, and Dr. Banner and Thor were giving him startled looks.
"I'm actually fifteen, Mr. Rhodes," Peter corrected, sighing. "My favorite food is sausage mushroom pizza-"
"Yessss," Tony purred.
"-my favorite movie is Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, even though I ship Finn and Poe Dameron," Peter continued, "my favorite Disney villain is Dr. Facilier, because he's hot-" he ignored the snickers from Tony and Rhodey "-and something cool about me is that I love cats more than I like dogs. Cats don't take anyone's crap, they dish it."
Loki chuckled again. "Cats are wonderful."
"They remind me of my brother," Thor said wistfully. Loki gave him a fondly irritated look.
"Right, moving on!" Tony said, clapping his hands together. "Lockton and I have an announcement, but we're waiting for Happy to finish putting Pete's luggage-"
The door opened and Happy entered, looking bored until he saw the pancakes, and then his eyes lit up.
"There's more batter," Natasha promised. "Guess there won't be any leftovers this time."
"What are left-overs?" Rhodey asked sarcastically, earning a soft laugh from Dr. Banner.
"Great, now that we're all here-" Tony turned to Loki. "Want to do the honors, babe?"
Loki rolled his eyes and raised his left hand, showing the silver Ouroboros ring on the fourth finger. "Antony and I are engaged," he said.
Rhodey straight-up squealed, almost in unison with Peter's squeal, which caused most of the people at the table to burst out laughing.
(Finally, the author complains. You should have been engaged after he tortured Potts for you.
No, although we did have great se-
TONY!)