Sparring
With the triggers out of James’ mind, he felt much more comfortable to train with and around the other Avengers. That little voice of doubt still spoke in his mind, telling him that he could hurt them, that he could get so in his head that he won’t even notice until it’s too late; but he ignored it, for the most part.
The rush of new memories wasn’t the most beneficial. Natasha and Steve, and maybe Sam too at times, would notice that Bucky (or James) would zone out more than usual. Nightmares were still a common occurrence, they were mostly just replayed memories, and James would usually end up on the couch with Natasha. Sometimes they would talk, sometimes they wouldn’t, it all depended on the nightmare.
Thankfully, though, the memories didn’t play too much of a role with his training. Sure, now he remembered more techniques and saw the moves he used to slit people’s throats in the past, but the memories didn’t directly effect his training, and James was glad. Nick Fury had taken interest too, knowing that if somebody with James’ skill level was on their side of the fight, things could be looking up.
So James, Steve, Natasha and Sam (and occasionally another Avenger or two), would go to the training room every morning to warm up. Both Steve and Nat had less time on their hands with more assignments from Nick, but they of course needed time to train. And Steve enjoyed his time training with Bucky. They would spar sometimes, other days they would try to outrun each other on the treadmills, and occasionally they would box for fun, yet boxing wasn’t much of a tool during a fight against HYDRA agents or otherworldly aliens.
Natasha, on the other hand, didn’t like to directly train with James. It reminder her too much of those past times. Instead she would watch the two super-soldiers spar with interest, or just work on her own skills: practicing her form of punches and kicks on the punching bag, using the indoor shooting range for target practice, and running on the treadmill for endurance (since she didn’t exactly get any from a serum or powers).
But one day, as she was on the punching bag and Steve and James were sparring, James called her over.
“Natasha, wanna spar?”
She looked up, speechless, not really knowing how to respond. Steve noticed her thoughts turning in her head and was about to make and excuse for her himself, before she quickly agreed.
“Sure,” she shrugged.
He gave her a questioning glance, but she nodded assuringly.
“I shouldn’t avoid him remember,” she whispered to Steve as they passed by each other, her rewrapping her hands with tape.
“Right,” Steve nodded, yet he still wasn’t sure if she was very comfortable with the idea.
“Ready?” she asked once she entered the mat, her stance lethal but strong. She balanced on the top of her toes, already light on her feet, bouncing.
“Ready,” he nodded.
And they begun.They circled, dodged, kicked and advanced towards one another. This dangerous dance felt all too familiar. How he would try to get her to block her right so she would create and opening on her left. How his stance would change when she would try to leap onto his shoulders. How his kicks always landed on her claves or hips, but never higher. How he would look at her with a grin when she landed a punch, then would advance. It felt like that time. Well, there were many times. But it felt too much like that one time, in the training room, just four months and two weeks after her graduation ceremony.
o0o
(four months, two weeks after the graduation ceremony)
“Let’s spar,” he said after she had finished learning the new chokehold technique Madame B requested her to learn. “I need a perfect agent, anything valuable must be taught to the widow,” Natalia had overheard Madame B speaking to James about it. Earlier that day.
She nodded at James. Sparring was something she quite enjoyed, and when nobody else was around, it was even fun. As fun as fun could be allowed in the Red Room.
James wrapped his hand and Natalia did the same, before they both took the mat. They circled for a moment, analyzing each other. Though Natalia practically knew most of James’ tactics, and James knew her’s, but analyzation was still habit and a crucial part needed for success in hand-to-hand combat.
Natalia made the first move, trying to land a side kick onto his flesh arm. He took the opening and grabbed her ankle to throw her onto the ground. Perfect. She used the momentum of the throw down to flip herself right back up, landing a kick to his gut in the process. He stumbled back a second, then came forward again.
This time he advanced, throwing a set of quick punches, trying to look for an area she would leave open when trying to block his fists. One eventually came and he landed a punch to her right side. They were even.
They continued this back and forth for what felt like forever, they were truly evenly matched (when James still had his mind intact). He had taught her everything he knew, which Natalia played to advantage. After a series of kicks, swings and attempted punches, she saw a slim opening. She slid against the slick mat flooring, kicked his legs underneath him and then threw two punches towards his face so he didn’t have an opportunity to get up. Once she had quickly regained her footing, she pinned him to the ground, putting extra pressure on his metal arm.
She looked down at him, her face in a smile that came from his little “defeat” and it made James’ heart throb. Before he even knew what he was doing, he moved his face up the few millimeters of space that laid between them, and sealed her lips in a kiss. She tasted like sweet cinnamon with a dash of sweat in the mix. He soon began to crave that taste.
Natalia was, least to say shocked, when James had kissed her. Yet, against her instinct, she didn’t pull away, instead initiated a second peck herself. His lips were soft and fit perfectly against her own. She had to kiss, lure, and seduce for her work. She had done it before, yet nobody had ever made her feel the way she felt when James had kissed her. It felt electrifying while butterflies still fluttered madly in the pit of her stomach.
She eventually broke the kiss, their first kiss, and got up off of him. With an extension of her hand, she helped him up as well.
“We could get caught,” she sighed under her breath. James knew she wasn’t just speaking about that one kiss in that room. She was talking about their displays of affection towards one another, their care and sympathy they showed to each other. What would happen if James was forced under Madame B to punish her for some reason? Many trainers did it without a second thought, not caring. If they began to care for one another would Madame B notice? Would she find out that her two best agents were comprised due to the other.
“We could be, only if we aren’t careful,” he responded.
“And your definition of careful is kissing me in the training room? In the wide open?” she asked quietly, but a smile tainted her lips. Just mentioning the kiss made her heart stutter.
“No, that was reckless, I just couldn’t help myself,” he shook his head. Then continued. “If you don’t want this, whatever this may be, I will not force anything. We can stop this and I will only be your trainer. But I want you to know that I won’t stop looking at you in a different way, it isn’t possible for me. If you want to take a chance, a risk on this, I couldn’t be happier.”
Natalia thought on his words. Was this worth the risk? If they got caught…. no Natalia didn’t want to think about that.
She nodded, then placed a soft kiss onto his cheek. “I’ll risk it.”
James stood dumbfounded as he watched her leave. Already, he knew he would do anything for that girl. He had somehow secretly known it from the beginning.
o0o
(back in the present)
They continued their back and forth, swings followed by kicks and punches, until Natasha saw an opening. Fate would have it, the same opening she had seen that day that was ingrained into her memory. She slid a kick under his legs, causing him to fall, threw a punches to keep him distracted and on the ground. Then she pinned him to the floor, adding extra pressure to his new metal arm. It was gold and black, she had to say she liked it.
She looked down at him like she had done that day, their faces millimeters apart. Such a short distance. Natasha had almost… but she stopped herself, shook herself out of that daze, and released him.
She must’ve held James pinned to the ground for a few seconds too long, because once she had gotten up, Steve glanced at her with questioning eyes. She shook her head and left the training room in a hurry.
“What’s wrong?” James had asked Steve when he noticed Natasha was gone.
“I don’t know,” Steve shrugged, then went back to his punching bag.
James had noticed how she lingered, her eyes looking into his with a sort of passion. Was it odd that he had wanted to kiss her in that moment? Definitely odd. “You’ve only known her for a few months, get a handle on yourself,” James thought in his head. But damn, if she hadn’t released him soon, her probably would’ve done it anyways.