“Should we kill him?”
This was never a good question to hear.
“No.” Although this answer was preferable to the alternative, it still wasn’t great. It usually meant they had something worse in mind. “I heard that if we kill him, a new Demiurge immediately appears in his place.”
“That is absolutely true,” Billy lied. He didn’t know who’d started that rumour, but thank God for them.
The larger of the two thugs looked down at Wiccan, helpless on the floor. “So what shall we do with him?”
Billy struggled, trying to slip the anti-magic handcuffs from his wrists, but they were held fast. The binding around his ankles was just normal rope, but was similarly hard to budge.
“Leave him here.” The shorter thug, who seemed to be in charge, replied, “By the time he gets free, our plan will be complete, anyway.”
“Okay.”
Hiding his face from them, Billy smiled. He knew villainous overconfidence when he saw it.
“But we should strip him.”
Billy’s smile fell.
“Strip him? Why?”
The short one bent down to get up close to Billy’s prone form. “He’s probably got all manner of hidden gadgets in that suit. Maybe even something to get himself free.”
“I haven’t. I swear I haven’t.” Billy said.
“We can’t trust him.” The large thug said.
“Obviously,” the short thug began to pull at the neck of Billy’s suit, “get his pants off.”
Billy’s cheeks burned bright red. “That’s really not necessary.”
“This thing is tight,” said the short one, not listening to the hero’s protestations, still trying to find a way to divest Billy of his costume.
“Nice boots,” the large one commented as he slid off first the left, then the right.
“Oh no, my gadgets were in there!” Billy tried to sound upset, but he really sucked at lying. Damn his parents for installing good morals in him.
“I found a zipper!” The short one pulled down the zipper and peeled off the top part of Billy’s suit, revealing his toned, tight flesh. A cold breeze blew across his six pack, making the muscles convulse and look even harder.
“Okay, well, that’s enough,” Billy told them, “definitely got everything you need. No more gadgets left, I promise.” The large one had just taken off Billy’s socks. All that were left were Billy’s pants. “Seriously, no need to go further.”
“Aw, don’t be embarrassed. You’ve got a great build.” Here the thug affectionately rapped his knuckle against Billy’s taut abdomen.
“Lars, he’s our sworn enemy.” The short one reminded his partner.
“Yeah, but what do we get from pretending he’s not attractive? That’s disingenuous.”
“Fair point. Get his pants.”
“No!” Billy shouted.
“Come on, man,” said Lars, “You look like you never skip leg day. Let’s see the results!” And with a sweeping gesture, he yanked off Billy’s pants, revealing the panties underneath.
If he’d picked any other pair, Billy thought, he might have gotten away with it. He had a few pairs, slinky little black numbers only given away by their lack of waistband and scalloped edge, that could actually pass for briefs, albeit tiny briefs, to the casual observer. But the ones he’d worn today were his favourites, and consequently the most obviously feminine. Bright pink, lacy, with silk trim, flower patterns and even a bow at the front. There was no mistaking them for anything except women’s underwear.
“Wow.”
“I was not expecting that.”
Billy turned more towards the floor, hoping to hide the front, as though the back, with its frills and scanty coverage of his ass, were any better.
“I mean, I knew he was gay, but I didn’t think about stuff like this.”
“Well, you don’t, do you? Cos you don’t want to contribute to stereotypes.”
“Can I please have my pants back?” Billy asked.
“No. Now, we must be off. When next we meet, the world will be forever changed.” The short one exited via the room’s only door, Lars following behind him, carrying Billy’s costume.
The thus paused on the threshold and then turned back towards the hero, “How do you get your ass that good? Is it just squats?”
“Lars!” Called the short one from outside the room. Lars scurried out, leaving Billy alone on the floor in just his bright pink panties. He tried to think of a way to escape, but it was impossible without removing the cuffs holding his hands together behind his back. Then he set his brain to the task of hiding his embarrassing underwear. He shimmied his waist back and forth, hoping to dislodge them so he might slip them off. However, the clung tight to his hips, a feature he and Teddy had previously enjoyed immensely. Billy sighed. There was no getting out of this one.
Tony Stark had lost contact with Wiccan seven minutes ago. A lot could happen in seven minutes. He rocketed through the air to the last location from which Billy’s commlink had broadcast, blasted down the door and flew in to see his teammate’s pert ass clad, topped by some women’s lingerie sat in queenly dominion atop the two fleshy hills. Of course, the rest of Billy was there too, but it was hard to pay attention to that when the eyes were being drawn towards his rear both by its prominence and the flash of pink. Tony was an avowed heterosexual, but he had to confess that it wasn’t entirely unpleasant to see Billy’s ass on display. It must have taken a lot of exercise to achieve that level of roundness and firmness- he could appreciate the craftsmanship, if nothing else.
Billy, still hampered by his bindings, managed to turn enough to see that it was Tony who had found him. Billy groaned. Tony’s smirk could have made a steel bar rust from sheer embarrassment.
“Well, hello, young lady. Have you seen my teammate, by any chance?”
“Knock it off, Tony.”
Tony landed gently on the floor and walked around, inspecting the sight before him. “You know, there’s something different about you today, Billy. Haircut?”
“There’s two men with some kind of scheme. Bad news. They got the drop on me, stripped me-”
“You don’t say.”
“And…they dressed me up like this. To humiliate me.”
Tony tapped a button on his mask, “Computer, is he lying?”
A robotic voice answered, “Heartrate increased; frantic eye movements; temperature rising. He is lying.”
“Yeah, plus look at how they’re tapered to his butt, he’s definitely worn these before.”
“People are in danger. There’s a plan going down.”
“Don’t worry, Thor took care of it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Stopped the bad guys, dismantled their machine.”
“Good.”
“So don’t get your panties in a twist.”
Billy sighed.
Tony knelt down, and inspected Billy’s ass closer. “Is this a part of your costume? The whole galaxy thing? Are these interdimensional panties?”
Billy squirmed, trying to kick the older man in his smug face, but he didn’t have enough range of motion.
Tony continued, “Or is this like when Doctor Strange wants to wear a necklace and so he says it’s an artefact of Agamotto? Let me guess:…the Slip of Sauron?”
“I’m gonna turn you into a toad when I get out of here.”
“And I’m gonna get you a map of K-mart because I think you might have been shopping in the wrong section. You know how it says ‘men’s’ and ‘women’s’ above the aisles?”
Thankfully, at that moment, Teddy entered the room. “Billy, are you- oh.”
Tony turned to Teddy, “I’m not sure you want to see this.” He put out a hand to block Teddy’s view, which Teddy batted down.
“Thanks, Tony, I’ll take it from here.”
“And by ‘it’ you mean…”
“Go help Thor.”
Teddy knelt down and started to untie the ropes around Billy’s ankles. Tony, a dozen more quips on his tongue, decided to leave it be and flew out of the room.
“I told you not to wear them.”
“No, you didn’t. You encouraged me.”
Teddy smiled, ran his finger along the edge of the garment in question. He raised it off of Billy’s soft flesh and then let it snap back into place, noting the pleasing sound it made on encountering the ripe ass. “Can you blame me?”
He undid the cuffs and then slid them into his pocket.
“What are you planning to do with those?” Billy asked, rubbing his wrist.
“Dunno. They might come in handy. Is your magic coming back?”
Billy flexed his fingers and blue sparks played around them. “Yeah.” The sparks faltered and then vanished. “Slowly.”
“How long before you can summon yourself some clothes?”
“I dunno. Maybe half an hour?”
Teddy picked up the largest fragment that was left of the door and placed it across the doorway, obscuring them from view. “Perfect.”