“Hey grandpa,” Natasha says instead of a greeting as she barges into Steve’s apartment, “I know you only listen to old people music, but there is this new artist I think you might like.”
Steve rolls his eyes affectionately at her.
“First of all, to me the stuff I listen to was only released a few years ago. Secondly, I like some new music! You do recall most of my running playlist is Lady Gaga right?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she waves him off. “Have you heard of Winter though?”
“Winter?”
“Yeah he’s been making music for about six months now, but no one knows what he looks like. He just dropped a new song today called Coney Island and I think you should check it out.”
“I’ll look into it later. I have things to do.”
“You better listen. I’ll know if you don’t.”
“I don’t doubt that.”
Natasha just smirks at him and makes her exit, leaving Steve just as confused as he was when she walked in. Had she really just walked into his house to tell him to listen to a song. A text or call would have been sufficient, the visit seemed unnecessary to Steve, but he’s also learned not to question what Natasha does.
Steve goes about his day, more or less forgetting about Natasha’s music suggestion. It isn’t until he's making himself a mug of tea that night that he remembers. Well, that’s when Natasha texts him asking if he’s listened to it yet.
He grabs his laptop and opens google. Thankfully, the first search result takes him to the official YouTube lyrics video.
The first soft notes of the acoustic guitar immediately pull Steve in. He can see why Natasha suggested it. As the man’s voice plays through the speakers it feels familiar, but Steve can’t place why.
Break my soul in two
Looking for you but you're right here
If I can't relate to you anymore
Then who am I related to?
And if this is the long haul
How'd we get here so soon?
Did I close my fist around something delicate?
Did I shatter you?
And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go?
The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go
Sorry for not making you my centerfold
Steve is suddenly thrown back to his many trips to Coney Island with Bucky. Whenever either of them had any change to spare they would take the train down there and walk the boardwalk. Sometimes Bucky would drag Steve there for a double date with a woman who had no interest in them. He could almost smell the butter from the popcorn Bucky always bought for them to share.
It hits him that the singer sounds a little like Bucky.
Over and over
Lost again with no surprises
Disappointments, close your eyes
And it gets colder and colder
When the sun goes down
The question pounds my head
"What's a lifetime of achievement?"
If I pushed you to the edge
But you were too polite to leave me
And do you miss the rogue
Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?
Will you forgive my soul
When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?
'Cause we were like the mall before the Internet
It was the one place to be
The mischief, the gift wrapped suburban dreams
Sorry for not winning you an arcade ring
Steve is thrown into another flashback. Suddenly he is on the boardwalk watching Bucky waste all his money trying to win a stuffed bear for one of the dames they were on a date with. He ends up spending all their money, but he did win her the bear.
A few years later, while huddled under blankets somewhere in Italy, Bucky promised Steve that when they got back from the war he would win Steve a bear of his own.
Over and over
Lost again with no surprises
Disappointments, close your eyes
And it gets colder and colder
When the sun goes down
Were you waiting at our old spot
In the tree line by the gold clock
Steve’s heart skips a beat. That spot was their spot. Whenever they met up there or needed to escape the crowds that’s where they would go. That spot was one of the first places Steve went when he woke up, but it wasn’t the same without Bucky. All it did was remind him that it was his fault his best friend was dead. Hearing that specific spot being mentioned brings back the grief from all those years ago.
It’s also too specific of a lyric, paired with the Bucky-like voice, for Steve to ignore it.
Did I leave you hanging every single day?
Were you standing in the hallway
With a big cake, happy birthday
Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?
A universe away
And when I got into the accident
The sight that flashed before me was your face
His hand goes up to his face, vividly flashing back to watching Bucky slip from the train. He can see his best friend looking up at him, fear in his beautiful blue eyes. Steve always selfishly hoped that the last thing Bucky saw was his face and not the wintery wasteland he fell into.
But when I walked up to the podium
I think that I forgot to say your name
I'm on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go?
The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go
Sorry for not making you my centerfold
Over and over
Lost again with no surprises
Disappointments, close your eyes
And it gets colder and colder
When the sun goes down
When the sun goes down
The sight that flashed before me was your face
When the sun goes down
But I think that I forgot to say your name
Over and over
Sorry for not making you my
Making you my
Making you my centerfold
He knew it was idiotic to think that Bucky was alive and writing music, but the song felt to specific to them to be a coincidence. It couldn't be him. Bucky died in 1944 right in front of his eyes. There was no way that Bucky was Winter. It was not possible, but he had to know.
Steve jumps up from the couch, grabs his keys, and bolts out of his building. He hops on his motorcycle and heads towards Coney Island.
Every rational part of his brain was screaming that what he was doing was stupid and it would only end it disappointment, but the minuscule possibility that he was right was fueling him. He would hate himself if he didn’t try.
The song felt as if Bucky was reaching out to him, begging Steve to find him. It felt like a beacon of hope that maybe he could find a home in this century. If Bucky had somehow managed to survive all these years, then Steve wouldn’t be alone anymore.
It’s impossible to think Bucky survived all these years, but it was also impossible to think that Steve would have survived crashing his plane into the ocean and freezing for seventy year. Before he crashed, the idea of an alien invasion was something out of one of Bucky science fiction novels. The Norse gods were just things of myth and legend, not people Steve was fighting beside.
Crazier things have happened in his life, and it’s enough to keep Steve driving to Coney Island.
He parks his motorcycle, for once not even thinking of the price of parking in the city. If he gets to see Bucky again, it’s worth it. He’s split between wanting to spring over to their spot to see if he was right, or walking slowly to prolong his hope and fend off disappointment.
Steve settles on a brisk speed walk, quickly thinking that Natasha would tease him for walking like an old lady in a shopping mall.
As he approaches their spot, Steve sees a figure sitting on the bench. He holds his breath, refusing to let his hopes get too high. For all he knows, it could be a random person who just sat on the first bench they saw.
The long-haired brunette sitting there has their nose stuck in a book, but clearly isn’t reading. They tense as Steve gets closer, aware of his presence but refusing to look up.
He’s terrified, but once he’s next to the bench he finally speaks up.
“Buck?” He asks, barely more than a whisper.
When the person looks up at him, tears sprang to his eyes at the sight of his favorite shade of blue.
“Stevie?” Bucky whispers back, tearing up as well.
Bucky gets up from the bench and wraps his arms, one of which is now metal, around Steve. Steve reciprocates the action, tucking his face into the crook of Bucky's neck.
He’s not sure how long they stand there wrapped in each other’s arms crying.
Eventually they untangle themselves, holding each other at an arm's length. Steve holds Bucky’s face in his hands.
“How? How are you here? I watched you fall,” Steve sniffles.
“I guess whatever Zola did to me helped me survive the fall. The rest of the story is long, painful, and complicated. Right now I just want to be here with you.” Bucky covers Steve’s hands with his own, wanting to touch as much of Steve as he could.
“I’ll be here as long as you want me, in whatever way you want me.”
“If I wanted you as a friend?” Bucky asks hesitantly, as if scared of Steve’s response.
“Then I will stand by your side like I have since the 20’s.”
“And if I want you as a lover?”
Steve’s breath catches. Having Bucky as his lover is all he wanted since he was sixteen. Back during the war, after Steve rescued him, Bucky confessed that he had feelings for Steve. Steve confirmed the feelings were mutual, but they hadn’t so much as kissed. They couldn’t risk getting caught. But when they had time alone, they would daydream about finding two dames who loved each other and they could marry each other. They would live next door to each other, live the American Dream with their white picket fences in the suburbs. They would instal a gate in between the connecting fences so they could spend nights together without raising suspicion. But here, in this new century, Steve and Bucky were free to openly love each other without fear.
Steve would sacrifice everything if that’s what it took to have that.
“Then I will do everything I can to show you how much I love you, because I never stopped,” he says honestly.
“I love you too, Stevie.”
“Hey Buck,” Steve starts softly, “would it be okay if I kissed you?”
Instead of answering, Bucky leans in and softly presses his lips to Steve’s. Steve smiles into the kiss. It’s everything he ever imagined and more.
When they pull back, Bucky is smiling so brightly it’s almost blinding, but Steve would happily go blind.
“Wow,” he mumbles against Bucky’s lips. “That was better than I ever imagined.”
“Punk,” Bucky teases.
“Jerk,” Steve says back instantly.
They stay like that for a moment, foreheads pressed together, basking in the warms of the other against them.
It’s Steve that breaks the silence.
“How long were you waiting here.”
“Since I released the song this morning. And I would have come back every day until it got around to you. I would have done it every day for a year if that’s what it took.”
“Well lucky you a friend told me to listen to your music.”
“Yeah, lucky me.” He pauses for a second. “Hey, do you wanna go to the boardwalk, maybe play a few games for old times sake?”
Steve lets out a laugh. “If memory serves, you promised to win me a bear.”
Bucky joins Steve in his laughter. “I did promise you that, didn’t I?”
They break apart, Bucky offering his right hand for Steve to take. Steve makes a note to ask Bucky about the other arm, but shelves that though for a later date. He entwines his fingers with Bucky’s and allows himself to be dragged to games.
In the end, Steve has to call Tony and ask to send them a car for all the stuffed animals Bucky won for him.