Chapter 16
I end the solar cycle before the Xandar mission with the list done or nearly done and am exhausted, checking the list over as I head to mess for the evening meal. I grab a tray and get food before sitting at the table with Yondu, Kraglin, Dad, and his crew. "Haven't seen you in here for a couple of days. Was wondering if you were still alive," Rocket scoffs and I flip him off, checking off the last things on the list I did today. I start eating and set the holopad down.
"When was the last time you ate?" Dad raises an eyebrow at me and I look at him, thinking.
"0000 or 1200... I think... I don't know... When I get going on something, I don't notice much else..." I shrug and continue to eat.
"What were you working on?"
"Stuff."
"What stuff?"
"Ravager stuff."
"What Ravager stuff?"
"Ravager stuff that you don't do." Dad sighs, dropping it, and I check the list on the holopad over again, wanting to make sure I had it all done. "Here you go, Captain." I hand it to him and he takes it, raising an eyebrow. "It's that list that you said needed to be done by the job on Xandar tomorrow."
"The job is tonight. What time do you think it is? Or, the better question may be, what day do you think it is?" Mantis asks and I look at my wrist com, seeing it was 0600 of the day of the mission.
"Well then... Anyway, that list is still done." He nods and looks at me while I finish my food.
"Go git some sleep, girl."
"Aye, Captain." I deal with my tray and go to my quarters. I take a shower and dress in some clean leathers before collapsing on my bunk to fall asleep instantly. I had forgotten to shut my door and Jay walks by, seeing that before he shuts and locks it for me so I can sleep without any disturbances.
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Someone pounds on my door and I get out of bed, going over to open it. "Yeah?" I rub my face and see Segs standing there with Yondu and Kraglin before I just move to the side. Segs comes in and I look at the other two.
"Hangar. Ten minnits, girl. Git yer dress on."
"Aye, Captain." He leaves with Kraglin and I shut the door, looking at Segs.
"I am going to make you look fabulous, my dear!" He smiles and has me change into the dress.
I come out of the bathroom and he works on styling my hair in front of the mirror he had put up while I was changing. "How's this?" It was done up in a type of braid and made into a bun.
"No thanks." He nods and undoes it before doing a different style that was just a basic braid.
"Better?"
"Isn't there any chance I can just leave my hair down and have a hair tie on my wrist if I want to put it up?" He sighs and takes it down, giving me a clear hair tie. "Sorry, Segs... I appreciate you trying... I'm just not one for fancy hairstyles..." I hug him gently and he pats my back.
"It is quite alright, my dear. Thank you for letting me try styles on your hair."
"No problem." We let each other go and he gives me the shoes, which I slip on.
"I made sure they were similar to your boots for your comfort."
"Appreciate it." I smile and he wraps the shawl around my shoulders.
"I shall give you the last three minutes to prepare whatever you need to prepare. You should be early, though. So the last two minutes." He smiles at me and leaves, shutting the door behind him. I look at myself in the mirror.
"I look good." I smile and head out of my quarters to the hangar. The crew that I pass stops what they're doing to look at me and I just continue to walk to the hangar.
Yondu was in his suit with his back to the door and Kraglin looks up from helping him fix his tie. "Cap... Look..." His whisper is loud in the silent hangar and Yondu turns to see me, eyes going wide.
"Damn, girl. Ya clean up nice." I bow my head slightly in thanks and he hands me a bag. "Segs gave ya all ya need fer tha' party in 'ere." I take it and put the strap across my chest.
"If this is that kid trying hard to look nice, I'd hate to see what she'd look like if she didn't try," Cron scoffs from behind the other two and I ignore him. "I might prefer her not trying because her trying so hard made her look worse than she usually does." He laughs and I run a hand through my hair, looking at the two of them.
"Is there anything else we need? Or can we go?" My voice was surprisingly steady despite the tears pricking the back of my eyes, his words cutting deep and drawing out insecurities that I thought I had buried down.
"We gotta git somethin'. Ya git on." Yondu nods toward the ship and I board it, strapping into the seat behind the other two. A tear lands on my hand while I'm strapping in and I wipe at my eyes quickly.
"Oh, did I make the poor Terran baby cry?" Cron taunts and I jump to my feet, whirling around to look at him. He boards the ship and comes over to me, spinning a blade in his hand. "Finally gonna be able to get rid of you." He launches at me and I try to move out of the way but he trips me to the floor. He yanks the shawl off and cuts my hair to be short.
"Ugh. Your looks get worse when more of you becomes uncovered. Who's ever going to want to see those scars?" He asks in disgust and I roll over onto my back in time to see him starting to bring the blade down.
A blaster goes off and he falls to the ground, a hole in his chest. Jay was standing there with the blaster and comes over to me, looking me over. "Are you OK?"
"I'm fine." He helps me up and I dust myself off, trying to shove all of those emotions deep down while I take the blaster. "You might want to find a way to deal with him before-"
"Wha' the Hell happened?" Yondu bellows and we look at him and Kraglin as they board the ship.
"This happens," I finish and the two of them look at me.
"Cap'n asked ya somethin'!"
"Cron attacked me and was going to kill me. It was him or me, so I blasted him."
"Wha'cha doin' 'ere, boy?" Jay looks at me a bit and then the two of them.
"I heard them fighting so I came to see what was happening and saw Cron about to stab Rogue. I couldn't get a good shot so I tossed her my blaster so she could do it." They look at us and Yondu contacts someone to deal with Cron's body.
"Don'cha be makin' no 'abit outta killin' m'crew, girl," Yondu warns once they're gone with Jay and I nod a bit.
"You got it, Captain." I grab my shawl and see that it was torn up so I couldn't wear it to cover my shoulders, shoving it in my bag for now.
"Git strapped in, kid." Kraglin sits in the pilot's seat and I sit in the seat behind them, strapping in while Yondu gets in the co-pilot's seat. He starts to pilot us out of the hangar and I scratch my shoulder a bit, the emotions surging up again.
"Ya a'ight, girl?" I look up to see Yondu looking at me and nod.
"I'm fine, Gramps." I grin at him a bit and he looks at me before nodding, turning back around in his seat. I take a few silent, deep breaths and manage to push my emotions down to deal with after the job.
Kraglin lands us on the planet and I run a hand through my hair after unstrapping from the chair. "Le's go, girl." Yondu leads the way off of the ship and Kraglin grins at me.
"Git ta stealin' some shit, Kid!" I scoff slightly and roll my eyes with a grin.
"Yes, Sir!" He rolls his eyes and Yondu leads the way inside while I follow. Dad was ahead of us with his crew, Groot sitting on his shoulder, and they get let in without any issues. We get to the front of the line and the Nova Corps members frisk Yondu. "Seriously? We're the only people you're frisking."
"Once a thief, always a thief. It doesn't matter if they helped protect Xandar or not," They say simply and one of them looks me over, seeing the bag. "What's in the bag?" I open it and show them the shawl. "You may go inside now." Yondu grabs my shoulder and pushes me inside.
"Ya git used ta it, girl," He mutters and I scoff.
"Seems like a pretty shitty thing to get used to." He shrugs and we meet up with the Guardians at a table.
"What are you pissed about?" Rocket asks and I raise an eyebrow at him. "You're pissed about something."
"And how did you get to that conclusion?"
"The way you're walking." I look at him and roll my eyes.
"You are an idiot, Rocket." He shrugs and I sit at the table with the others.
"When'd you cut your hair?"
"Why does that matter?" He doesn't respond and Yondu sits, looking me over. "I'm a teenager. I'm going to be pissed off about stupid shit. It's how shit works. Especially when these whackjobs got let in without being frisked before us. It's fucking bullshit."
"Yeah, it is. Take it out on them by keeping your head clear and stealing the artifact," Rocket says and I run a hand through my hair, immensely annoyed but attempting to calm down with a deep breath.
"Yeah, OK..." I pop my knuckles and fold my hands in my lap, slowly calming down fully. "Still think it's fucking bullshit."
"And that's your right. Keep a clear head for now and be pissed when you get back to the ship," Dad says carefully and I nod. "Alright." I carefully look around and notice Nova Corpsmen keeping an eye on us.
"Damned vultures," I say simply as I pull out a small mirror to look behind me carefully and see another Corpsman there, watching us. "On all sides." I notice one of them press their ear and they look confused, mouthing something. Damnit... I look around slightly and start to drum my fingers on the table.
"What are you doing?" I keep a careful eye on the Corpsman that pressed their ear and they press it again, growling audibly in pain. "Rogue, what the Hell, kid?" Dad looks at me weirdly and I tap a few things on my wrist com, watching the Corpsman wince in pain before pulling out their earpiece. A painful screech goes off in my earpiece but I leave it in with a slight clench of my jaw.
"They bugged the table. It's jammed right now but will end soon because I ain't that good at screwing with other people's communications for longer than a minute or so. You got a way to do that but keep ours open when it's time?" Rocket nods and my wrist com blinks shortly to signal the signal's back. "Good." One of the Corpsmen comes over and looks at us.
"What are you planning?"
"We ain't plannin' nuthin'," Yondu scoffs and I lean over to him.
"That's a double negative, which technically means we are doing something," I whisper and he glares at me. "I'm just saying."
"What are you whispering about?"
"Nothing you need to worry about. Isn't there someone else you could harass or do you just like our pretty faces that much?" I smirk and she glares at me.
"I see that all Ravagers have a smart mouth." She glares at me and I stand, smirking.
"Oh, yeah. It's one of the first things that we learn during training. Kinda like how you guys get taught how to be a bunch of stuck-up asshats that are prejudice against people because they don't have the same job as you. That might be because, as far as I can see, only Xandarians are allowed into your stuck-up club. And any Xandarian that doesn't conform to your impossible standards will be shunned and looked down upon because they chose a different career choice. That might be because, with Ravagers, we have a sense of honor and everyone is regarded as family, and family shouldn't turn their backs on you or allow you to be taken by slavers or sell you to them. Meanwhile, with you guys, you'll sell anybody out, go against any laws, and do whatever it takes to get units because you have no sense of honor at all. So, how about you stick your nose back in the air where it belongs instead of in our damned business, yeah?" She doesn't know how to respond and walks away after a moment of awkward silence while I watch her.
I sit down and let out a harsh breath. "Ya tell 'em jackasses, Kid," Kraglin cheers in my ear and I smirk slightly.
"Calm down, Krags. Gods," I scoff softly and Dad looks at me.
"That was a nice speech," He smirks slightly and I shrug one shoulder.
"They're annoying, stuck-up, prejudiced asshats and they can all go die a slow and painful death in a ship fire after crashing." They all look at me in shock.
"Damn. Ya a'ight, Kid?"
"I have a lot of issues, OK?"
"Obviously," Rocket scoffs and I flip him off, which he reciprocates.
The lights dim then brighten again and someone starts to talk around the building. "Hello. Thank you all for coming this evening. We are here to commemorate the brave heroes that risked their lives to save Xandar. Nova Corps, Ravagers, and Guardians of the Galaxy alike. We have the Guardians and the Ravager Captain here tonight. Please stand," They say and the Guardians and Yondu stand. "Your guest as well, Captain." Yondu pulls me to my feet and the entire crowd erupts into cheers.
"This is seriously awkward," I murmur and Yondu nods slightly, clapping a hand on my shoulder.
"Ravager Salute?" Dad asks and Yondu nods. "Alright." We all look at each other before we stand tall and pound our fists over our hearts, which makes me relax even when the crowd cheers louder.
"Who is your guest, Captain?" Yondu looks at me for a moment and I had my fist still resting over my heart slightly before I lower it, waiting to see his response.
"A damned good Ravager," He smirks and the crowd cheers again. "One tha' ain't 'fraid ta backtalk yer damned Corps," He laughs and parts of the crowd chuckles softly while we sit down.
"Well, she looks like a good Xandarian. Maybe if she can keep a clean record we'll be able to steal her from you for the Corps. What do you say, Miss?" I look at Yondu and he raises an eyebrow at me while the others look at me before Dad makes me stand again. "Well? Do not keep us in suspense."
"That sounds like a lot of fun, but not happening in any amount of annual cycles."
"May I ask why not?" They were all watching me and I tap my finger against my palm slightly, hating the attention.
"Your uniforms look like shit and I've heard the pay sucks."
"But you're stealing for a living," Someone yells from the crowd while Kraglin was howling with laughter in my ear and I can feel my heart racing. "How can you live with yourself like that?" I look at the person talking and can tell a few things from their outfit and the people around them.
"You're a business person and a sleazeball that steals from people in an obvious way," I mutter under my breath before responding to him louder. "Ravagers allegedly steal, nothing has been solidly proven in a court of law. So, keep your rumors to yourself."
"Kill yourself, filthy Ravager scum!" Everyone at my table looks pissed while Kraglin is raging in my ear and they start to stand, freezing when I start to talk.
"Oh, man. Why didn't I ever think of that? I've got three, no... Four ways I'd like to take myself out. Slit my wrists, blow my head off with a blaster, insert an air bubble into my bloodstream, or chug an entire thing of sleeping medicine. I'm not really into the first two because those will make a huge mess and the time it would take to die from slitting my wrists would be too long. An air bubble will cause me to have a heart attack and just, ow. The sleeping medicine way, though, no pain and fairly quickly. Thoughts?"
The entire place was silent and I notice my face on a big holoscreen, smirking slightly. "Kidding, kidding. Maybe... Not sure, honestly. Any other questions or can I sit down?" Someone makes a motion for me to sit so I do and my face goes off the big screen while the others sit, my heart finally slowing down.
"Are you alright?" Gamora asks and I run my hands through my hair.
"I'm a socially awkward, socially anxious, anxious in general, suicidal teenager that hates having any form of attention focused on me for longer than sixty seconds, exactly, at a time that just had to stand and answer a bunch of questions from a bunch of random Xandarians when some dickhead told me to kill myself after another crewmember brought insecurities that I thought I had gotten rid of to the surface while he tried to kill me which then led to Jay killing him and me covering for his sorry ass because I have that in my job title now and I have nowhere near enough sleep or booze in my system to deal with any of this at all. So, to answer your question, yes. I am perfectly alright." I give her two thumbs-up and they all look at me, speechless.
"Wait, ya did wha' now?" Kraglin growls in my ear and I think through what all I just said, realizing I inadvertently ratted on me and Jay, in front of Yondu with Kraglin in my ear.
"Damnit. Once again, not enough sleep or booze in my system. Anger later. Focus now. OK? OK, good. Let me know when my part is up." I drop my head on the table and close my eyes, mentally drained. "Cuz, until then, I'm going to attempt to make my brain work on a higher level than what it is currently." Yondu's hand pats my shoulder and I turn my head slightly to look at him.
"Yer sure yer a'ight?"
"I have never been alrighter." He gives me a weird look and I sit up, rubbing my face. "That's not a word... Um... When I have social interactions one after another like that or when I'm thrust into one, I feel exhausted and can't get my brain to work on a higher level than stupid stuff... And if I don't have some type of... Um... Stimulation or grounding device, I get overwhelmed and can't fix my head..."
"Some type of what?"
"Like my Walkman and my music or when I spin my blades or when I tap on stuff or... You get the point. Anxiety is annoying as fucking Hell and I can't get rid of the bastard, so... I manage it. And I can't right now because I couldn't sneak anything in to do so with and it annoys people when I tap or make any noise like that. Then, to top it off, my mouth speaks words faster than my brain can filter them, like now."
"Didn't you have some type of medicine for it?"
"Ran out."
"Can't Doc give you more?"
"No, because they don't know."
"Why?"
"Socially. Awkward. And. Anxious. I don't see Doc unless I'm bleeding or I'm confused about what the Hell's happening with my body because you aren't a female and there are no other females of my species on the ship."
"I could help you, Rogue," Mantis suggests and I shake my head.
"Unless I am having a panic attack, no thanks. Because that's when I can't control what the Hell's going on, what I say, or what I do because that's when it's all tumbled down and out of my control. Yay," I mutter sarcastically and run a hand through my hair, forgetting that it's shorter when I try to pull it over my shoulder. "I should bring that asshole back just to kill him again."
"Well... Not that this hasn't been... Great. The job?" Rocket looks at us and I nod a bit.
"Let's do this."