Chapter 2
"Pancakes or waffles?" Jane asks when Darcy strolls into the kitchen the next morning, sporting some impressive bed head and still wearing her beloved Hello Kitty pyjamas. "You look awful."
"Good morning to you too." Darcy drawls sarcastically as she falls into one of the chairs at their small kitchen table. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep anything down. That prawn toast really didn't agree with me last night."
"Oh no." Jane frowns sympathetically. "Well, I'll make you pancakes. With lemon and sugar. You know, like the ones we had in London. They're refreshing and not too heavy."
"You mean crepes?" Darcy asks.
Jane nods. "Yeah. The thin ones. They're really easy to make. Flour, eggs and milk. That's it."
Darcy licks her lips. "Could you add some cinnamon or would that ruin the consistency?"
After a moment of consideration, Jane shrugs and opens the spice cupboard. "It can't hurt to try. I'm sure it'll be fine. If not, I'll make a fresh batch and you can just put cinnamon sugar on top instead."
"Awesome," Darcy says, resting her head in her arms. "What time is your appointment today?"
"Midday. You'll come with me, right?" Jane, suddenly nervous, turns to stare pleadingly at her best friend. "I really don't want to go on my own."
"Of course I'll go with you." Darcy sniffs. "Ugh. I think I might have food poisoning."
Jane, whisking the batter, looks alarmed. "Wait, really? Are you going to puke? Please don't."
Darcy grunts. "No. My stomach's empty." It had to be, surely. "I just feel terrible."
"Mr Chow," Jane says morosely.
"Mr Chow," Darcy repeats.
"We're taking the day off today," Jane reports.
"Really?" Darcy asks, astounded. It was usually her insisting Jane take a day off, not the other way around. Never the other way around.
Jane nods. "As much as I hate to admit it, neither of us are in any shape to do lab work. I'm a nervous wreck and you look like you're on the verge of collapse. We'd probably do more harm than good."
"Good point." Darcy sits up and winces when the room spins. "Have you checked the doorstep this morning?"
"Mail hasn't been yet," Jane says as she ladles some batter onto a pan. "Too early."
"Yeah, I know." Darcy stands up and walks to the front-door, unbolting the four dead-locks her father had installed the day she and Jane moved into the walk-up apartment block. She picks up the SI stamped box that was hidden behind the potted plant next to their 'Welcome To Asgard!' novelty doormat. "Tony said he'd have some stuff delivered."
"What stuff?" Jane's voice travels through the apartment as Darcy closes the door back up. "Don't tell me he actually made us sentient water bottles."
"Oh, he absolutely did." Darcy snorts as she walks back into the kitchen with the box clutched to her chest. "Gimme some scissors." Jane hands them over and Darcy uses them to slice open the seal. Jane turns down the heat as she watches. "Oh em gee. Look!" Darcy takes the bottles out of the box and holds them up with a beaming grin. "They have our names on them."
Jane snatches her from her and admires the cursive lettering up the side. "Way better than the ones on Amazon." She and Tony still aren’t on the best terms. She’s still mad at him for trying to poach Darcy away from her last year, but for Darcy’s sake, they’re trying.
Darcy quickly reads through the instructions. "Okay. They can be charged with the same charger as the Stark Phone. Awesome." She reads down. "Awh. He couldn't get Pepper to agree with putting an AI in the bottles, so he recorded Jarvis' voice and a reminder to drink up should play every thirty minutes."
"I love it." Jane flips the first crepe onto a plate. It's only slightly charred. "I'm kinda glad Pepper didn't let him use AI. That would've been a bit too much."
"I disagree."
"You would. You grew up in a house effectively controlled by one." Jane laughs, shaking her head. "For us normies, who didn't grow up with a robot nanny, it'd be too much."
Darcy laughs. "You joke, but Jay was way more efficient than any of the actual nannies Tony ever hired to look after me."
"I've heard the horror stories." Jane shudders, pouring the batter into the pan again. It smokes a little this time, so she turns down the heat. Darcy watches on dubiously. Jane isn't a bad cook, per se, but she does have a bad habit of getting distracted. "The raven is being delivered at six."
"Cool. We can get it sent off tonight." Darcy's phone vibrates. She picks it up and reads the message. "Oh. Brock wants to take me to dinner tomorrow."
"What?" Jane hands Darcy a plate of slightly charred but still edible pancakes, along with a bowl of sliced lemon and a pot of granulated sugar. "Why? I thought you two had an agreement."
"We do." Darcy stares at the text, puzzled. He's even made the effort to add a single 'x' at the end. "What do I say?"
"I don't know." Jane takes two crepes and Darcy just takes one. "Have you ever had dinner together before?"
"No." Darcy puts the phone down. "I can't reply. I don't know what to say."
"Won't he see that you've read it?" Jane frets, eyebrows knitting together and she shoves a forkful of crepe into her mouth.
Darcy shakes her head. "No. I have my read receipts turned off."
"Good." Jane makes a face. "What happened the last time you guys, you know-"
"Had breathtaking, naughty, clandestine sex?" Darcy finishes. "Uh, he's been away for a week. An undercover op in Serbia. We spent the night together before he left. Nothing happened. Not that I can remember, anyway."
"Okay. Well, maybe something happened on the op," Jane suggests.
Darcy frowns. "Oh no. What if something bad happened?" She picks up her phone and opens up her text log, typing out a quick reply. "I'm just gonna ask if everything's okay."
"Mm." Jane hums around a mouthful of food.
Darcy chews tentatively on a mouthful before humming in contentment. "These are good. The lemon was a good idea. Thanks, Janey."
"You're welcome." Jane looks over her shoulder at the fire escape window and sighs deploringly. "I wish I could text Thor."
The sorrow on Jane's face makes Darcy frown. "You could still call for Heimdall, you know. If you want Thor to get here sooner."
Jane shrugs. "Maybe. After we've seen the doctor, though."
"Okay." Darcy nudges their feet together under the table. "Hey, bestie, everything's gonna be fine. I promise."
Jane hooks their ankles together. "Love you."
Darcy smiles broadly around a mouthful of crepe. "Awh! I love you too!"
"Oh, Ew! Darcy, come on! That's so gross, stop it." Jane covers her eyes, not wanting to see the chewed up food in Darcy's mouth. Darcy howls with laughter. Jane groans and unhooks their ankles. "I take it back. You're a menace. I hate you."
Darcy keeps laughing until Jane throws a segment of lemon at her.
---
Three hours later, Jane and Darcy sit next to each other in the Shield medical waiting room.
Darcy flips through a pamphlet on teen pregnancy. "Why do they even have this here? Are there teenagers working at Shield now? Did I miss the briefing?"
"They might be for the recruits. They're teenagers, right?" Jane asks.
"Yeah, most of them are fresh out of high school. Eighteen or nineteen." Darcy moves onto a page about 'accepting responsibility.' "Wow, this is so demeaning. I hate it."
"Did they make you take home one of those after high school health class?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Yeah. My dad thought I was hiding the fact that I was pregnant for a week before he worked up the courage to confront me about it. He almost had a stroke. After I set him straight he actually cried in relief."
"Was it worse than when you accidentally made chlorine gas while cleaning the bathroom?" Darcy asks.
Jane nods solemnly. "Yeah. He really did think I was going to make him a grandpa at forty. Poor guy."
"I've never had a pregnancy scare," Darcy says. "Well, except for that time in London, but that doesn't count."
Jane makes a face. "Um, yes it does."
Darcy shakes her head, fixing her gaze back on the pamphlet. "No, it doesn't."
"You got a false positive and thought it was real," Jane says. "You called your dad and started bawling. You spent four hours crying because you didn't want to have a rich, stuck up, Boothby baby. You didn't calm down until Tony got to London and Jarvis told you that you weren't actually pregnant. How can you say that that doesn't count?" Jane asks.
"It just doesn't," Darcy says vehemently. She peeks over the top of the pamphlet. "You nervous?"
Jane nods, sinking down in her chair. "A little. I just wish this wasn't happening, you know?"
"Sure," Darcy says. Jane doesn't look reassured, so she tries a different technique. Distraction. Her speciality. "Brock still hasn't messaged me back."
"He might be working." Jane perks up a little. "You did say he's been on an op. He might be in a debrief. Thor said they sometimes take longer than the actual mission."
"I guess." Darcy puffs out her cheeks before expelling the air. "I'm just impatient. I hate waiting."
"I wonder which parent you inherited that trait from," Jane smirks.
Darcy laughs.
"Dr Foster? I'm ready for you."
Jane stands up, pauses, and looks down at Darcy. "You're coming in with me."
Darcy puts the pamphlet aside. "Yes, ma'am."
They follow the nurse into the examination room. Jane sits stiffly on the edge of the medical bed and Darcy sits in the armchair in the corner.
The doctor sits at her desk and smiles easily. "Okay. What can I do for you today?"
"I took a pregnancy test last night. It was positive." Jane spits the words out. "I just want to, uh, have some confirmation. I guess."
Darcy smiles at her encouragingly.
The doctor takes the information in stride. "Okay. I have a few questions for you first and then we can take a test, okay?" She confirms, and Jane nods. "When was your last period?"
Jane hesitates. "I don't know."
"That's fine. Not many people actually keep track." The doctor reassures, jotting the information down onto the laptop on her desk. "Okay. Have you had any of the following symptoms; nausea, frequent urination, fatigue?"
Jane shakes her head. "No. None of that."
"Okay. And do you use any form of birth control?"
"Yes," Jane says simply.
"Brilliant." The doctor drones as she finishes typing. "Are you okay with me carrying out a quantitative blood test? It's the most accurate way of confirming the pregnancy, especially in the early stages."
"Of course." Jane thrusts out her arm.
The doctor laughs, standing up and gently pushing Jane's arm down. "I have to get a few things first. I'll be back in a few minutes. Feel free to help yourself to some water." She says to them both, gesturing to the filtered water tank.
As soon as she's gone, Darcy stands up and walks over to join Jane on the bed. "She's nice. I like her."
Jane nods. "I know. She did my pap-smear last year."
"I've yet to experience the joys of Shield Medicare," Darcy says. "It'd be a lot easier to just come here. I hate having to drive two hours just to see my dentist."
"Tony?" Jane asks.
"Tony." Darcy nods, gravely. "He's immovable. Insists I need to see the most accredited dentist, gynaecologist, therapist, the works."
"It's nice that he cares about that stuff," Jane says with a shrug. "My dad used to just shove business cards under my bedroom door. He was never any good at that stuff."
"Poor guy." Darcy sympathises with the man, she really does. Taking care of Jane isn't an easy feat. She can't imagine having to actually raise her, especially on his own.
"I never cared, though." Jane shrugs, a dainty smile on her lips. "He used to sit with me in the garden for hours while I stargazed, even in the winter. And he took me to the observatory every Saturday if I got a good report at school." She puffs out her chest. "I always got a good report."
Darcy blinks back a sudden onslaught of tears. "Oh, Janey." She sniffles.
Jane looks at her in alarm. "Uh- why are you crying? Don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you!"
"You didn't upset me!" Darcy argues, wiping her eyes furiously. "That was just such a nice story. I love hearing about baby Jane! You were such a cute kid."
The doctor walks back into the room and greets Darcy and Jane with a polite smile. Darcy slinks back to her chair in the corner while the doctor sets up a vile and prepares the needle.
"Assuming you want them rushed, we can have the results in a matter of minutes." The doctor says as she wipes down Jane's arm with an antibacterial solution.
"Yes. Rushed." Jane nods, closing her eyes as the needle pierces her skin.
Darcy looks away and swallows down a wave of nausea.
Nice to know her aversion to blood hasn't improved any in the last four months.
The doctor leaves as soon as she's got the blood secured. Jane looks down at the small plaster and grimaces. "That never gets any easier."
"Preach," Darcy says. She takes a deep breath.
They're quiet for the next few minutes. Jane needs some time, but she doesn't want to spend the time she needs alone. Darcy's content to just sit in the chair and act like she doesn't desperately need to pee.
Darcy's scrolling through Instagram and in the process of leaving a thirst comment under Steve's latest post, a picture of a very grand looking oak tree, when the door opens again.
She looks up and her stomach drops at the expression gracing the doctor's face.
Jane, more observant than she ever usually is, immediately notices. "What is it?"
The doctor sits down at her desk and puts down the piece of paper. Once sat down, she regards Jane with a gentle, if slightly wary, expression. "You're not pregnant, Dr Foster."
Darcy's jaw drops.
Silence swallows the room.
"What?" Jane squawks.
The doctor regards her hesitantly. "You're not pregnant, Dr Foster." She repeats.
Jane's silent for a moment. "You're sure?"
The doctor nods. "A hundred per cent."
"But the test was positive! Like, two vivid lines, very clearly positive." Jane says, eyes wide.
The doctor smiles sympathetically. "Unfortunately, store-bought tests often give false positives."
Jane shakes her head vehemently. "No. That's the thing. It wasn't store-bought. I spent an entire year designing it myself after an incident with a store-bought one. It's incredibly accurate!" Jane waves over at Darcy pointedly. "Tell her, Darcy!"
Darcy stares. "Janey."
Jane stares back. "Oh no."
The doctor looks between them both. "Am I missing something?"
Jane stands up at the same time as Darcy.
Jane moves to sit on the armchair and Darcy takes a seat on the bed.
The doctor studies Darcy. "Symptoms?"
"All of 'em," Darcy whispers.
"Oh no," Jane repeats from the corner.
The doctor nods, patting Darcy's shoulder kindly. "I'll go and get some more materials. Do you have Shield Medicare?"
"No. I'll pay," Darcy says, feeling strangely detached from her body.
The doctor nods and leaves the room without any more preamble.
"Jane, I need you to confiscate my phone," Darcy says, pulling the device out of the pocket of her chunky knit cardigan.
"Why?" Jane asks, sounding breathless.
"Because I'm three seconds away from calling my dad and we both know that won't end well. At all."
Jane takes her phone.
The doctor comes back, takes her blood and disappears again.
When she returns, she hands Darcy the printed out results of the beta hCG test.
Darcy whimpers. "Oh, fuck."
Jane covers her mouth in shock.
The doctor smiles. "Congratulations, Miss Lewis. You're pregnant."
Darcy pukes on the floor.