Self-Discovery

Frigga awoke with a start, visions of fire and destruction fading as the pale light of dawn filtered through her consciousness. It was obvious that this was no mere dream. Though she had the gift of Foresight, it seldom brought her visions without her deliberately seeking them. That alone made this all the more concerning.

A glance at Odin showed that his sleep was undisturbed, and she gratefully slid out of bed without waking him and made her way directly to her private garden, a quick glamour her only concession to propriety. Soaking in the peace of the secluded sanctuary, she let her awareness fade into a light trance state and reviewed the vision she had seen.

Death.

Destruction.

Despair permeated the very air in the future she had been shown, and an aura madness sparked and coiled around the chief players. It was often difficult to judge how far ahead these random glimpses ranged, but this one was likely centuries ahead.

No... these two.

Further meditation divided what she had seen onto two distinct futures. Both had the same flavor of despair and madness. Both held the same face - in one as a harbinger of death, in one as a defender of life.

Loki.

Much older than his current 417, but undeniably her sweet, mischievous child as he could become. Her heart clenched in pain at the thought of him turning into the raging monster she had seen, and ached equally at the horror he faced down as a saviour.

With a sigh, she let the visions go and returned to herself. She had been given a warning, a choice; a chance. She had not been shown where the paths diverged, however. That would require her own work and efforts at future-scrying to untangle. Head held high, she made her way back to her chambers to properly prepare for the day ahead. She had much work to do.

Odin glowered at his wife. How could she seem so unconcerned at the news she had just brought him? And why had she allowed several days to elapse between her vision and telling him of it? And now this... this... imbecilic, irresponsible suggestion!? "You have seen Loki bringing Ragnarok! And you wish me to let him out of my sight? He needs to be controlled, that he not be given the chance to unleash such madness upon us!"

"You mistake my words, husband mine: I have seen that Loki stands at a crossroads. If he stays here under your thumb, he will, indeed, become a tool in bringing destruction enough to deserve the name Ragnarok, but it will have been your choices that drive him to it, seeking to force him into an ill-fitting mold of your choosing. You will ultimately be the underlying cause of his self-destruction taking all of Asgard, possibly all of the Nine, with him. As King of Asgard, it is your duty to your people to turn his feet to the other path I have seen for him. If not for his own sake, then for theirs." Frigga replied. She had long known that Odin cared little for the son he had adopted, but for him to accept only the dire future as valid was beyond the pale. She knew the futility of appealing to him as a father, but as a king he could perhaps be persuaded. "You wish his loyalty to remain yours, do you not? Even as young as he is, he shows great potential as a Seidr user. It is knowledge he craves, not prowess at arms. It would work far better in your favor to give him the tools and support to flourish in his own way. You cannot deny that a loyal, powerful mage would serve you far better than an unmotivated armsman, which is the direction he is currently being pushed."

"Aesir are warriors! Battle-prowess is why we are the best, and why we shall remain so. Asgard cannot afford a prince who cannot hold his own in a fight."

"...and yet, for all that you pretend otherwise and refuse to tell him, Loki is not Aesir. He does well in his arms training, but his true talents lay elsewhere. As for holding his own, you know well enough that a skilled battle-mage is a formidable opponent. You have faced such in battle, yourself. I repeat, Odin-King, All-Father, there are calamities coming which Loki has nothing to do with bringing, but would be a staunch ally in opposing IF you will permit him to grow into himself. Bringer-of-Destruction, or Protector-of-the Realms; it should not be such a difficult choice."

After much grumbling and further argument, Odin finally acceded to Frigga's plan. It had become obvious, now, to her that he was hiding more than she knew and would probably try to twist this entire situation to benefit some murky plan of his own, but the initial course was set. Hopefully it would continue well.

Loki hated sparring practice. He didn't mind the work. He enjoyed the strength and stamina he was developing. Learning to wield weapons was useful, and the feeling of performing a move perfectly was satisfying. No, what he hated was the people.

He already knew he was small and slight for his age group, it's not like they were telling him anything new when they teased him for it. At least Thor was in the group above him. It was bad enough that Thor was always given preference at home. If he'd had to compete with him in lessons as well, ... well, he's not sure what he'd do, but the teasing would be even worse, he's sure.

The instructors weren't much help, either. They'd reprimand anyone who overtly tried to physically bully him - at least outside of the practice ring, but the snide remarks and not-so-teasing insults were allowed to pass unremarked upon. Any hits he took inside the ring were similarly allowed, regardless of how hard or whether they were strictly 'legal' strikes. The first few years hadn't been too bad, but as little things went unpunished his tormentors gradually got bolder and worse, pushing the boundaries to see what they could get away with. Now, more than a decade later, it was approaching unbearable. There were few of his age-mates he could stand, and none who stood up for him in any way.

He understood that none of them wanted the attention of his bullies, he really did, but it still hurt that no one had even so much as a kind word or a sympathetic pat on the shoulder to offer him. He frequently lost practice bouts as his slight stature made wielding some of the heavier weapons they were required to learn that much more difficult. He'd likely never be proficient with a mace or war hammer, much less the great two-handed swords. His preferred close-fighting weapons were daggers and short swords, and he won most of the rare bouts he was allowed to fight using them. He was better-than-average with a bow and javelin, scoring well on all ranged tests.

It never mattered.

Time outside of weapons practice was divided into the bearable and the enjoyable.

His golden, favored brother often demanded his presence in the hours their free time overlapped. Thor was noisy and exuberant, but not bad company. If Loki could have had the time with just Thor, he might even have classified it as enjoyable. It was the eternal presence of Thor's friends that made it merely bearable. Not sharing sparring lessons with them didn't spare him the comments and insults - though they were usually delivered in a lighter manner as though it were truly in jest. They still hurt. And Thor never once called them on it, telling Loki instead that he was being overly sensitive and shouldn't object to "friendly" teasing. At least most of the time they simply ignored him. That was better than constant needling.

His other lessons, however, he enjoyed. The thrill of learning new things - history, technology, economics, diplomacy... all of it was interesting, and the fact that he had those lessons privately was the best. Sure, he shared many of them with Thor, but still, there was no one else there to tease him or whisper insults at his back just softly enough for the instructor to pretend not to notice while being perfectly audible to him. Thor's occasional glower at their tutors' praise when Loki gave a better or quicker answer was a small price indeed for the joy of learning. And his most favorite lessons were the ones he shared with no one else - magic. Seidr manipulation. Meditation. He'd started those when Thor had first been sent to classes and he had missed his brother. Frigga was his chief tutor, though he occasionally had other teachers for short periods of time when her other duties took her away or for specific lessons. Once he had started formal classes himself, the magic lessons had been moved to afternoons. At first he'd mourned the loss of free time, but that hadn't lasted long. Magic was simply too fascinating. And these days, any valid excuse to spend less time around Thor's friends was welcome. He'd even started haunting the library once his lessons finished, just to prolong the delicious absence of people for an extra hour or so.

So when Mother started his lesson with the announcement that she had talked Odin into allowing him to be fostered on Alfheim for a couple decades in order to learn their magics he was both ecstatic and worried.

New magics! New teachers! A library rumored to hold one of the most comprehensive collections of Seidr-related knowledge in the Nine! How exciting!! He had come across records of Elven Battle Mages, and the possibility of Seidr being used as a weapon appealed to him in ways he couldn't articulate, and was something Frigga couldn't teach him.

But new people. New places where he didn't know the best escape routes or hiding spots... As much as he hated where he was, at least he already knew who to avoid (... and sure, that was 'everyone' but, still...) and how best to get away.

Frigga picked up on his unease and the lesson on casting illusions was soon filled with illustrations of where he would be staying and who he would be with. Loki had met very few Elves, and it was nice to see that they didn't all have the tall-and-bulky look that got Thor favored among the Aesir. Elves seemed to come in a wider range of sizes and colors. Perhaps it wouldn't be quite as bad. Perhaps it would even be okay.