Chapter 3
Dean looked up when he heard the elevator’s doors opening, only to see the four red headed women and Clint trudging into the living room, before stopping short and staring at the scene with wide eyes.
He couldn’t really blame them, he thought, as he let his eyes wander around the disaster zone.
Sam’s Bachelor Party last night got a little out of control. By little, Dean means fucking a lot.
It started innocently enough. Well, as innocently as a party planned by Dean Winchester and Tony Stark could go.
To be fair, Tony did want to bring an entire strip club into the Tower to give Sam and their husbands a heart attack as a joke, but Dean compromised with him to bring at least three strippers. The genius complied, bringing two female strippers and one male stripper just because. The look of pure horror and discomfort on Sam’s face was worth the dual disapproving frowns on Steve and Castiel’s faces.
Well, not really, but they got a few good laughs there.
After that, the drinking started and never stopped. Thor brought some of his Asgardian ale, which successfully sent the stoic, unamused Castiel and Steve into a very adorable drunken stupor, which led to a drunken arm wrestle competition between Castiel and everyone else, while Steve cheered the angel on like an enthusiastic cheerleader. What made it more fun, was Castiel’s wide, smug smile whenever he sent anyone who dares to arm wrestle him to the floor with one move.
Sam himself loosened up the more he drank. Soon enough, he was sprawled on the floor with Thor and Bucky and were singing Beautiful in White loudly with huge grins on their faces, after Castiel sent them himself to the floor.
Even Erik got drunk enough to wear his shark smile constantly, which was both nice and creepy as hell.
As the night progressed, things got out of control the drunker they got. Dean couldn’t remember much, but he did recall some things. Like playing Poker, which turned out to be impossible, since they were all giggling like idiots the entire time. Thor at some point deciding he wanted to be a stripper and started to mimic the male stripper from earlier, much to their horror and Bruce’s enthusiasm. Then, a drunk Charles got agitated at something and made Wilson’s, Rhodey’s and Tony’s brains into six-year-old girls, who then fought, with high pitched voices, over a Captain America plushie.
Better yet, Dean recorded all of the above on his phone and he was not even sorry.
Right now, as the girls and Clint came back from Natasha’s Bachelorette party, Dean surveyed the damage done to the communal living room.
Sam was still laying spread eagled on the floor, across his middle laid a half-naked Thor with Bruce curling around one of his legs.
Over the bar, Sam Wilson and Bucky where laying on their sides over the smooth surface, positions flipped so Bucky was hugging Wilson’s legs, while the other was hugging his.
Over one of the couches, Erik was laying across it with his face buried in the armrest, snoring loudly, with Logan and Hank laying on the floor under him, smacking him every few minutes so he would stop snoring. Charles was nowhere to be seen.
Over the table, Castiel and Steve’s faces were smashed into its surface, hands still gripping each other’s on the table, like they had fallen asleep in the middle of an aggressive arm wrestle match.
Beside Dean on the couch, the pile of pillows started to move, revealing Tony’s head, who blinked at him dumbly for a few seconds, like he was trying to remember who the fuck he was.
“What the hell happened here?” Natasha asked with wide eyes, as her gaze travelled over the bodies scattered around the room.
“Oh, man! I messed the cooler party!” Clint groaned loudly, who had to be in Natasha’s party, since he was the Maid of Honor. Something that Tony and Dean will never stop giving him grief over.
Dean and Tony blinked over at them dumbly. They were almost sober at the moment with only a minor hangover. Their alcohol tolerance was still intact, even after spending years without actually becoming this stupid drunk.
Before anyone could answer Natasha’s question, Charles walked into the room, a tea cup in his hands and a bright smile on his face.
“Oh, the soon to be blushing bride and the beautiful ladies are back!” his smile widened, while he walked towards Natasha to give her a one-armed hug and a kiss on the cheek, before moving towards one of the empty couches and sat crossed legged on it to sip on his tea contently. “I hope you enjoyed your own party. Sam sure did seem like he enjoyed his.”
They all blinked stupidly at him.
“How the hell is he this sober and chipper?” Dean groaned, as he felt groggy from his headache. “Sure, my hangover is not as bad as it should, but it will take me hours to think straight and try smiling again. How is he doing that?”
“Charles has a very high alcohol tolerance, thanks to his wild days. Even when gets drunk, he never gets a hangover, which is very annoying by the way.” Raven narrowed her eyes at her brother, who just gave her a pleasant smile over the rim of his cup without commenting.
“I hate that guy.” Tony groaned, as he face planted into one of the pillows on the couch.
“I love you too, Big Head.” The telepath retorted with his smile still intact. Tony growled something into the pillow, that could have been either ‘Go to hell’ or ‘Fuck you’. Dean wasn’t entirely sure.
“I am still waiting for an answer, Dean.” Natasha sighed, as she raised an eyebrow at them. “What happened here? And why does it look like you killed your own brother?”
“Oh, he is fine. He is just not used to fun parties.” Dean just waved her off, while pinching the bridge of his nose with a groan. “It was just your regular Bachelor Party. Strippers, lots of booze and stupid decisions.”
“Strippers? Steve and Sam actually let you bring strippers?” Charlie asked with wide eyes.
“Fucking hell, I really did mess an awesome party.” Clint buried his face into his hands with a loud groan.
“Well, we didn’t actually tell them there are strippers coming.” Tony looked up with a crooked smile, wincing at Pepper’s disapproving raised eyebrow. “Sure, I am going to get hell for it later, but the look of pure horror on Sam’s face was too good to resist.”
“And predictably, those three strippers are never going to strip again, because they were convinced by my sasquatch brother, Captain Too Good To be True and English Brain over there to go back to school. Soon enough, they will be nurses and school teachers.” Dean rolled his eyes and gave a side narrowed eyes look at Charles, who just gave him an innocent smile.
“You used to be more fun.” Tony frowned over at his childhood friend without any real conviction. It was really adorable and sweet to see the three men able to convince the strippers to have a better life.
“I am still fun, Tony. Just because I don’t sleep around and get constantly drunk anymore, doesn’t mean I am dull. You don’t do that anymore either.” Charles pointed out with a slight grin.
“Well, I have always been fun even before that phase of my life.” Tony stated smugly with a grin of his own.
“You were a scrawny, loud, obnoxious nerd, before that phase.” The Telepath continued to drink his tea, ignoring Tony’s indignant look.
“And you were a too small kid, who keeps freaking people out by reading their minds and speaking with heavy English accent to look cute!”
“See? That was more fun than you were.”
“You little-“
Tony’s loud voice managed to wake Steve and Castiel up, who raised their heads groggily and stared at each other, seeming not to recognize the other.
“Are you Tony?” Steve slurred, as he blinked heavily, not really awake yet.
“No, I am pretty sure he is shorter. With a beard? I don’t really remember.” Castiel murmured dazedly, barely able to keep his head up. “I am guessing you are not Dean then?”
“No, I don’t think so.” Steve frowned, then his eyes landed on their joined hands. “Why are we holding hands then?”
“I am not quite sure.” Castiel blinked stupidly at their hands, probably just noticing them. “That doesn’t seem right.”
“Yeah.” The captain muttered groggily.
They looked up at each other again, blinked for a few seconds, then shrugged and rested their heads again on the table, going back to sleep.
The others watched the exchange with blank faces.
“Dean?”
“Yeah, Tony?”
“I think we broke our husbands.”
Charles glanced at his snoring husband, then turned back to his friends.
“I think you broke mine in the process too.”
***
“I am panicking. I am really, really panicking.”
Muttered Sam repeatedly for the thousandth time in the past hour, as he stared hard at his face in the mirror.
He was in Dean and Castiel’s room, because Natasha kicked him out of their room, so she could get ready for the Rehearsal dinner that will start in a few hours.
The Rehearsal Dinner. That thing that usually comes a day before the actual wedding.
Which means the wedding was tomorrow.
Holy shit.
“I am panicking. I am really, really panicking.” He announced yet again as he started to pull at his tie, which was perfectly fine, but he needed to do something with his hands, and raking them through his hair wasn’t an option, since Tony spend a long time styling it for him and Sam hated ruining his fine work.
“Okay. Just stop. Stop.” Dean finally groaned from the bed, where he was sitting with Castiel, Steve and Tony, watching him silently as he panicked in front of the dresser’s mirror. “What exactly are you panicking about? The wedding and the fact that you are getting married to a woman that is a foot shorter than you and could kill you in two seconds, or worried something will go wrong?”
“What? Of course about something might go wrong!” Sam whipped around to look at his brother frantically. “And by the way, I find Natasha’s height and her skills very hot! That actually makes our nights together a lot more-“
“Woah, woah!” Both Steve and Dean exclaimed frantically, stopping him. “Getting into dangerous too much information territory over there, Sammy.” Dean continued with a grimace.
“Sorry, sorry.” Sam sighed and moved his hand unconsciously to rake it through his hair, but stopped himself when he saw Tony’s warning glare. “I just can’t shake the feeling that something is going to go very horribly wrong tomorrow. You know our luck, Dean! Good things don’t happen with us this easily!”
“You call this easy?” Tony raised an eyebrow indignantly at the younger Winchester. “You two almost died hundreds of times since the moment you met and years before that! It wasn’t easy to reach this day in one piece, dude.”
“Tony, the day after your wedding, you guys were attacked by a crazy, genius robot, who almost made a genocide by dropping an entire city on Earth!”
“In my defense, it was a disaster of my own making.” Tony winced at that, while Steve just sighed with a shake of his head. “I probably shouldn’t have made Ultron a few days before my wedding. That was just stupidity, not bad luck!”
“It was kinda bad luck.” Steve shrugged with an awkward smile. “We had to postpone our honeymoon, until we dealt with Ultron. It was frustrating.”
“Dude, we are trying to make him less panicked!” Dean gave him an unimpressed look.
“Well, that didn’t happen on the day of the wedding! Just the day after that, when we were having a small celebration party for being newlyweds and for taking down Hydra, I think. So it doesn’t count!” the soldier tried to reason.
“Yeah, that doesn’t help at all.” Sam said blankly with a frown Steve’s way, who shrugged at him apologetically with a wince.
“Sam, it’s going to be fine.” Castiel reassured, giving him a small smile. “Do you have any idea how many superheroes and hunters are going to be there? Whoever tries to do anything, will have a very bad day for it.”
“Yeah, I guess you are right.” The younger Winchester sighed, as his tense shoulders started to relax a little. “Maybe I am just being paranoid.”
“Sir, there are guests here that are asking for the Winchesters. I checked them and they are clean.” JARVIS’ voice sounded in the room.
“Send them up, Jay. Fast.” Tony ordered, as they all stood up from the bed.
“Come on, Sasquatch. I am pretty sure our guests will make you feel a lot better.” Dean grinned at him, as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders and dragged him out of the room.
To be honest, Sam had no idea who was on the guest list. Natasha, Dean and Steve handled that part in the planning and he trusted their judgment, so he didn’t try to question it.
So, when the doors of the elevators opened revealing who were the first guests to arrive, he didn’t even bother to control the huge grin that spread across his face in pure delight.
“Boys.” Bobby greeted them gruffly, but the gruff tone was softened by the rare smile on his face. Jody next to him, grinning happily at them. “Glad to see you didn’t get yourselves killed yet, idjits.”