The battle rages on around him.
Yet it seems to pause.
it is merely background noise.
Tony sees Peter from across the battlefield. he has been keeping an eye on him throughout this fight; he's not stupid. In fact, he's a certified genius and he knows the basic facts in this life:
- Nothing is ever as simple as it seems at first glance (especially not when dealing with aliens, never when dealing with aliens).
- Coffee is essential.
- Peter Parker is a self-sacrificing idiot.
It's not hard to see what Peter is about to do. He has that determined look on his face, his "I know what I have to do look". Coupled with the sadness in his eyes as he looks around at the fight, Tony knows what Peter is going to do and it fills him with dread. That gut-wrenching dread that nobody ever wants to feel. The kind of dread that makes your stomach drop and your heart leap to your throat.
Tony knows that Peter is about to use the gauntlet.
Tony knows that the world will lose the most kind-hearted person to ever walk the planet.
And suddenly, Tony can't breathe. His throat is closing-up. His chest is tightening. He can't breathe. He can't breathe, damn it!
His kid - when did it become his kid? - is about to sacrifice himself to save everyone else. It was never supposed to come to this. Tony was supposed to get the gauntlet and bring everyone back. Bring Peter back. It had been the plan all along.
Then the plan had changed. He had invented time travel. And he got Peter back, but now he needed to get the gauntlet and dust Thanos and his army away. That was the new plan. Peter was supposed to be safe. Morgan was supposed to be safe. Oh, Morgan. My baby girl. How much I wanted to introduce you to your older brother. God, Tony had even recorded himself saying goodbye. That was supposed to be played at his funeral. His, not Peter's.
Peter was never supposed to have a funeral. Not in Tony's lifetime at least. It was every parent's worst nightmare, for their child to die before them. Tony knows that Peter probably doesn't feel the same way, but he thinks of himself as a pseudo-father to the kid. He was supposed to protect the kid - he had built suits to protect him. He had taken away the suit that one time to protect the kid. Granted, that time didn't work out too well, but he had never disciplined a child before so he thinks that gives him a little lee-way.
But now....now Peter is slipping on the gauntlet and Tony's world stops.
There is no way he can make it over there in time.
Suddenly, all Tony can feel is anger. Pure rage:
At Strange for suggesting that there was only one timeline in which they succeeded. For suggesting it would be Tony who did it. All this time, Tony was sure it would be him who would do it for it could NOT be considered a success if Peter died.
Now he's angry at Peter.
No, that's not right. He can't be angry at the kid. Not the self-sacrificing kid who is doing something nobody his age should ever do. "When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you." Tony remembers that conversation. Tony remembers those worlds. At the time, he thought the kid had a massive hero complex. But at the time, he didn’t care. He just needed the help to take down Cap and his crew. Later, when Tony learnt about Uncle Ben and how the kid had held his Uncle whilst he died, had tried to stop the blood seeping out of the bullet hole with his hands, had spent hours scrubbing the blood off of his skin but had kept the ruined clothes as a reminder of his failure, Tony would feel like an ass. He would feel terrible that he took advantage of this kid and he would try his best to make up for it. But now, he knows that Peter is not doing this out of some twisted obligation to repent (what he believes to be) his sins.
Tony knows that Peter sees people suffering and wants to do something about it. Tony knows that Peter knows that they aren’t going to win this fight unless something is done to swing it to their favour.
But Tony doesn’t want to believe that this is the way. Tony knows that Rhodey and Thor and Steve and Scott and Hope and Bruce and Clint and Wanda and Sam are struggling. He knows that he is too. He knows that he will not be able to keep firing at Thanos’ minions, only for five more to take their place. Tony knows that the warriors from Wakanda will eventually tire; just because they’re badass doesn’t mean that they don’t eventually run out of energy. He knows that Pepper is here too, but he knows that she can handle herself. That she will be okay. Tony knows all of this, just as he knows that they are all fighting for those they have lost. Those who aren’t coming back. Romanov, we will avenge you. Tony’s not normally the sentimental type, but this he can do. He can keep fighting for those that they have lost. That is why he was supposed to be the one to use the gauntlet. Because Tony was willing to give up everything to save the people he is fighting with.
Tony also knows that Peter is just as willing to do the same. Even if it means leaving his Aunt, the one person who is counting on him to come back. Tony knows that May was dusted, and he knows that she doesn’t have an apartment to go back to. in those beginning years, Tony had been too distraught to go near Queens, let alone to keep an eye on the kid’s apartment. What was the point if he wasn’t coming back? Just before they went on their mission to bring the population back, Tony had checked in. He had expected to find out that the apartment was dusty (ironic) and was in need of a good spring-cleaning before the Parkers moved back in. What he hadn’t expected was for his reconnaissance drone to be shot down by a kid throwing a toy truck at it. After the initial shock had worn off, Tony had set up an account to be given to May when they got back so that she could get a new place. He figured that the Parkers could come down to the lake house whilst they looked for a new home. He was hoping for that to happen anyways, so that he could introduce Peter to Morgan. So I could keep an eye on him, make sure he was really back.
But it didn’t look like that was going to happen anymore. Peter was going to snap his fingers and get rid of the army. Peter was going to die.
Peter looks at him and he looks back. Its all he can do. He yells, begging Peter to stop. Begging him to wait. Tony is making his way across the field, but he’s not going to get there on time. He doesn’t need to speak to the kid to know what he is trying to convey in that look. He is saying goodbye. He is begging Tony to look after his Aunt.
And Tony is trying to convey his own message: wait! Don’t do this kid. Wait for me to get there. Please don’t die on me. Please.
But it doesn’t work. Peter breaks eye contact with him, like he can’t handle the guilt (because Tony knows his kid has a guilt complex the size of Manhattan). Peter is looking around the battlefield one last time, like he is trying to survey the carnage to strengthen his resolve. He’s only sixteen. He shouldn’t have to strengthen his resolve to sacrifice himself.
And Tony finds himself wondering if his kid was scared to die. He hopes not. Tony is resigned to the fact that he is not going to make it there on time, not when he must battle his way through the aliens that are attacking him as he tries to reach Peter. All he can hope is that the kid isn’t scared. Not like he was back on Titan when he ripped Tony’s heart apart. That kid.
Peter. Peter who is to good for this wold. Peter who is a genius, rivalling Tony’s own intellect. Peter snaps.
The effect is almost instantaneous. The field clears. The aliens dissolve in clouds of dust and Tony races through them. He runs like he never has before to make it to his kid. The others are looking around, relieved that the fighting is now over. They are letting out a sigh of relief.
But Tony can’t breathe. His heart has stopped. He feels like the entire world is crumbling around him.
Eventually, after what seems like a lifetime, Tony makes it to Peter. He is lying down, just propped up by a rather sharp-looking piece of concrete. Tony isn’t sure whether he fell onto it or sat down. It doesn’t matter at this moment because his body is mangled. There’s blood running down his face, originating in his ears and nose. His skin, once flawless, was charcoal. It travelled up his arm, his neck and covered the majority of his face – from the left side of his neck it creeped across his face like a burnt vine, stopping just as his cheek meets his nose. It was something Tony almost wishes he had never seen because it looks so wrong on Peter.
Tony falls to his knees, reaching out for the boy he thinks of as his surrogate son. He thinks the others have noticed now. He can sense people gathering behind him, but he does not care. His thoughts are consumed with Peter. Please be alive. Please don’t die on me. Please be alive.
A shaky hand reaches out to find a pulse – it tries to find one on the unmarred side of Peter’s neck but it’s hard. Oh, it’s so hard to focus when the kid looks like he’s just been engulfed by flames.
His arm is mangled. That’s the next thing Tony notices. Its destroyed, there’s no other way to say it.
Finally, Tony looks into his kid’s eyes. They are glassy, but he can tell Peter is conscious. Probably not for much longer…no. Don’t think like that. He’s going to be okay.
He has to be okay.
“Peter…” Tony’s voice is scratchy. It’s full of pain and grief for what this kid has done. It should have been me.
“It’s okay.” Peter sounds tired. No, that won’t do. He can’t be tired. He’s always so full of energy. Tony knows that Peter is about to say goodbye. He should probably listen. He should probably tell the kid how much he loves him and comfort him. But Tony is nothing if not stubborn. The kid isn’t going to die.
“No Peter, save your breath. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Just hold on.” Tony’s pleading now. He knows that it might not work but he has to try. He tilts his head to the side slightly, and Strange must have gotten the message because he’s making a portal. A portal to Wakanda.
But Peter closes his eyes. His body goes limp and Tony can barely feel his pulse.
They need to hurry.
They need to get him through that portal and to the hospital.
They are going to save him.