Arrival
PEPPER POV:
I was worried for Nat. I knew what type of mission she was going on and I always hated when she went on them. I tried to get her out of them when I first found out about the contents of the mission but to no luck. She didn't complain about them so the agency just assumed that she was fine with going on them.
When Nat called to tell me what was going on and to ask me if I could watch Wanda, I immediately got worried. I know that the missions are getting harder on her, especially these ones, but she never says anything so there's really not much we can do. I agreed to watch Wanda, knowing it would take off a ton of stress from her plate. She didn't need to worry about Wanda on top of this terrible mission.
The first few days were nice. I took Wanda with me to keep her busy and she was actually really helpful. She was eating and she even went a few nights without nightmares. Or so she told us.
I noticed that each day, Wanda looked increasingly more tired but I brushed it off as worry for Nat. When she told me that Nat had said that she might not be able to call her, I immediately knew what that meant. It meant it was the night she was planning to go with the men. I was worried about her but I know I couldn't show Wanda so I plastered a smile on my face and continued with my day.
It had been 4 days since Nat left when Wanda walked into the kitchen, looking like she was about to fall over from exhaustion. I ran over to her, checking her forehead for a fever but it was surprisingly cool.
"Wanda, did you sleep last night?" I didn't want her avoiding sleep. She had told me that she wasn't having nightmares though. I had told FRIDAY to notify me if Wanda woke up from a nightmare and I hadn't gotten any notifications from her so at least that was truthful. I briefly wondered if Wanda was controlling FRIDAY somehow or if she was able to hack into her but I didn't think so.
"Yeah, another nightmare less night." She tried to sound proud but she sounded almost defeated, like she was tired of lying. I watched as she walked over and poured herself a cup of coffee.
"Are you sure honey? It's okay if you had a nightmare. You can tell us." It was just Steve and I in the kitchen so I was hoping she would open up to us.
"Nope, no nightmares."
"Okay," Steve spoke up. "If you didn't have a nightmare, then do you want to tell me why it looks like you didn't sleep last night? In fact, it looks like you haven't slept in a few days." So Steve was taking a slightly sterner approach while I was taking the gentler route.
"I don't know why it looks like that," Wanda explained nonchalantly. "I must've accidentally stayed up a little too late watching TV. Sorry, I'll do better tonight." I didn't believe her but she didn't seem to want to budge so I dropped it for the time being. Steve must've thought the same thing because he too stopped trying to get anything out of her and instead worked on making breakfast.
Wanda seemed to be fine during breakfast. Maybe we were overreacting. We were a bit on edge with Nat on the mission.
"You're home!" I turned my head to see Wanda running towards an empty hallway with her arms out. She stopped short in the hallway, glanced both directions, and then looked back at us, her arms dropping to her sides.
"Who's home?" Steve asked. I had a feeling I knew what happened but I wanted to hear what she said.
"No one," she said as she looked at us confused, like we didn't just watch her run to the hallway seeing someone who isn't there. She went to leave but I stopped her.
"Wanda, come here please." She stopped and hesitated but she did turn around and walk over to me.
"Yes?"
"What did you see?"
"I didn't see anything."
"Uh-huh. Then why did you shout and run over to the hallway?"
"I thought I saw something but I didn't. Sorry."
I knew she wasn't going to cooperate so I tried something different. "Hey FRIDAY? Did Wanda sleep last night?"
"No Ms. Potts." I looked at Wanda firmly, showing her I knew she was lying.
"Why did you lie to us Wanda?" I asked, equally gentle and firm, wanting to show her we meant business but we weren't mad at her.
"I didn't! I did sleep!"
"Then why would FRIDAY tell us that you didn't?" Steve asked her. She was looking more and more overwhelmed but I wanted to know what was going on.
"I don't know! She's probably broken." She seemed satisfied with herself for thinking of that option.
"FRIDAY? Did Pepper sleep last night?"
"Yes Mr. Rogers," came FRIDAY's response. So that ruled out Wanda's idea.
Wanda continued to insist that she did sleep and that FRIDAY was confused but it was all making sense. FRIDAY never notified me that Wanda had a nightmare because Wanda never had a chance to have one. She just never slept. I tried to get her to open up to me again, being much gentler this time knowing how tired she must be, but nothing worked.
"FRIDAY, when was the last time Wanda slept?" I asked after realizing Wanda wasn't going to give me any information, she was too upset.
"Miss. Maximoff has not slept since Sunday night." I froze when I heard how long it had been. It had almost been a week! No wonder she was having hallucinations!
"Oh my gosh! Wanda! Why haven't you been sleeping?" My voice came out sharp but only because I was worried. She continued to try to tell me she was sleeping, even though I could see the fight leaving her slowly, her sleepless nights catching up to her. "Is it because Nat's gone? Honey, if you want to sleep with me you can." I know she wouldn't ask to sleep with me because she would be too embarrassed but if that's what she needed, I wanted to give it to her.
"I don't need Nat to sleep."
"Okay, then why haven't you been sleeping?" I kept my voice soft.
"I don't know okay?" she yelled as she ran off to her room. Steve and I sat there, taking some deep breaths, thinking of how to handle this.
It was obvious Wanda wanted and needed Nat. Unfortunately, Nat was still going to be gone for at least another day, maybe more, and Wanda needed sleep now. She couldn't wait a few more days.
I was mad at myself for not picking up on her strike against sleep sooner but at least we caught it before it got even worse.
Steve and I talked a little bit and it was decided that I would go work on getting her to sleep, letting him know if I needed any help. I tried to call Nat to see what she would suggest but it went to voicemail.
I gave Wanda about 10 minutes, hoping she tired herself out with the argument and was sleeping in her room but when I asked FRIDAY what she was doing, she replied telling me that Wanda was pacing her room.
I knocked on her door but when she didn't answer, I let her know I was coming in and then slowly opened the door. She was pacing the length of her room, walking from the window to the door, over and over again.
"Wanda," I started gently. "Honey, can you sit down?"
"I don't want to sleep," she mumbled. "The nightmares will come back. Nat's not here."
"I know you don't want to sleep but it's been too long. You need sleep so that you don't get sick. The nightmares will not come back and if they do, I'm here to help you. Nat's not here but she should be back soon. Just a little longer baby. Can you try to at least rest? You don't have to sleep but how about you lay down and we can watch a movie or something?" I knew that if I could get her to lay down, her body would take over the rest and basically force her to sleep.
She refused though. "No! If I lay down, I'll sleep. I'm so tired. I just want Nat home! I can't sleep without her." She was relatively calm as she told me this, sometimes getting a little riled up but keeping dry eyes.
"Wanda, you need sleep. You can't go this long without sleep. The longer you go, the sicker you'll get. You don't want Nat to come home and find you exhausted do you?"
"I'm fine," she said as she kept pacing. I took a few steps forward and grabbed her wrist, stopping her from pacing. I felt her try to pull out of my grasp but she was too weak and stopped after a few tries, instead opting to stare at me.
"Wanda, you need sleep."
"So you've said," she mumbled under her breath as she rolled her eyes.
"You need at least a short nap. I promise I'll sit with you and wake you up if I think you're having a nightmare. I won't let you suffer through it. Please Wanda, for Nat."
"But I'm scared." I looked into her eyes and saw that they were now starting to fill with tears.
"Why are you scared?"
"Because Nat's not here. She always holds me after a nightmare and makes me feel safe. What if I have a nightmare about her dying and then I wake up and she's not here to tell me that it was all pretend." A tear rolled down her face but she was still holding it together pretty good.
"I know I'm not Nat but I'll be here to tell you that it was all pretend and that you're safe. I know that you want Nat and that I'm not her but for right now, I'm what you've got."
"I don't want to," she whined and I knew I would have to do a little more than talk to her. If I could just get her to relax in bed for a little bit, she'd probably fall right asleep.
"C'mon," I told her as I started to walk towards her bed. I kept a firm grasp on her wrist but I could feel her resisting me. She was looking at her bed with terror in her eyes as I slowly dragged her closer.
"Pepper please! I don't want to sleep!"
"Shh, it's okay. You're going to be okay," I told her as I pulled her into a hug. She was shaking and I felt bad but I knew she needed sleep.
"If you don't get some sleep, we're going to have to go to the med-bay to have you sedated," I told her gently, not wanting to scare her but wanting to know the next steps.
"No!" she cried. "Please! Pepper no!"
"Okay, we won't do that if you lay down and relax." She still didn't move so I continued the short trek to her bed, gently pushing her shoulders so that she was sitting down in the bed.
I then placed some pillows on the back of the bed for Wanda to lay into. Once she was in front of me, it was really easy to push her down onto the bed. I have a lot more strength pushing forward than she does holding herself up. I was glad she wasn't using her powers on me.
She fell into the pillows and tried to get up. I placed my hands on her shoulders to hold her down. She would tire herself out quickly and then fall asleep. She needed this, as much as it pained me to do it.
The second she realized she couldn't really move, she burst into tears, pleading with me to let her up, to let her move around. "Please Pepper, if I lay here, I'm going to fall asleep and then I'm going to be stuck! Please Pep! I want mama! I don't want to do this! Please!"
I had to try to ignore her cries as I held her onto the bed, keeping a gentle grasp on her so that I didn't hurt her but making sure it was strong enough to actually keep her there.
"Wanda, just close your eyes sweetie. You're so tired that you probably won't even have a nightmare." I begged her to get some sleep but I don't think I could be heard over her cries.
She cried for about 15 minutes but as I thought, the tears and stress from crying and struggling wore her out and she started to drift off. I felt as her body grew limper under my hands until she was sleeping, tear tracks staining her cheeks.
I carefully moved away from her and pulled the blankets up to her chest, wanting to make sure she was comfortable.
I turned down the lights and sat there for a few minutes, making sure she was actually asleep.
I ended up spending a few hours in the room before finally leaving for lunch. I told FRIDAY to keep everyone away from her room to make sure it was quiet and to let me know if she showed signs of distress or if she started to wake up.
I tried calling Nat again but there was still no answer.
Wanda slept for the whole rest of Friday and into Saturday. I was kind of worried due to the fact that she wasn't getting any food while she slept but I knew that she should bounce back after she got enough sleep. Sleep was more important at this point.
Nat called me Saturday morning, checking how Wanda was doing and letting me know that she was heading home. She wouldn't be home until late that night due to the long distance but at least she was headed this way. I let her know about Wanda not getting sleep but just gave her a general summary. I could give her more details once she was home.
I wanted to make sure she was fine before I made her worry about her kid. She sounded fine over the phone but I wasn't sure how it was going to be when she got back. It can't be easy doing what she does during those missions. I can only hope that she'll be done with them soon and that she'll finally say she won't go on them anymore. I've tried to convince her but she says that they need to be done so there's no use complaining about it.
The rest of the day was relatively quiet, Wanda still sleeping and the team taking a rest day. We were all excited for Nat to get back.
Nat got home around 3 the next morning and she looked exhausted as well. I told her I would tell her everything the next morning but that she needed to rest. She smiled at me and I was glad to see she didn't seem detached from her emotions like she normally did after these missions.
She crawled into bed next to Wanda and I couldn't help thinking that she wasn't offering Wanda comfort but that she needed comfort from Wanda. I let them be and headed back to my own room, content that both girls were home and safe.
NATASHA POV:
I was exhausted by the time I got home and couldn't wait to see my girl. I missed her more than anything and practically sprinted into the house to see her. I wanted all of the information about what happened at the compound without me but once Pepper told me that I needed rest before she told me anything, I climbed into bed next to Wanda, pulling her close to me.
I sniffed her hair and tried to ignore the flashbacks of what had happened in Singapore. I blocked all of my emotions related to those events as I snuggled as close to her as possible. I never wanted her to have to go through what I had just gone through.
She slept through the entire thing and I quickly joined her in dreamland.
o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
I bolted awake from a nightmare about what had happened. I gulped down gasps of the air in the room, trying to calm down. I glanced next to me and saw that Wanda was sleeping. I was glad I hadn't woken her up. She had been sleeping for a few days but she needed her sleep, especially after going so long without any sleep.
I crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom, splashing some cold water on my face, looking at my own tired face in the mirror. Honeypots always took more out of me than I would remember. I was home now though.
I heard shifting coming from in the room and I looked to see Wanda flipping around. The light from the bathroom shone on her face and showed me that it was scrunched up. Probably a nightmare.
I ran over to her and gently shook her shoulder, trying to wake her up. One glance at the clock told me it was later than I thought. It was already 5 in the morning, much later than when she normally has nightmares.
She woke up relatively quickly and wasn't crying, it seemed to be a lighter nightmare. My guess was her brain was so tired from no sleep that it didn't have enough energy to generate very vivid dreams.
She seemed to be a bit confused when she woke up and she was shaking, just not crying.
"You're okay honey," I told her gently, trying to ease her out of whatever fears were lingering.
"Mama? You're home," she gasped as she leaned into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I missed you."
"I missed you too sweet girl."
We stayed that way for a few minutes, both of us soaking up the comfort that the other one offered. I was so glad I was back home with my girl in my arms. I missed her more than I could've ever imagined.
"How was the mission?" she asked me as she pulled away.
"It was successful," I said, not offering any more information. She didn't need to know what I was doing. "I heard you didn't get much sleep."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, turning her head down towards the blankets.
"Hey," I said, raising her chin with my finger. "It's okay, I know it was rough. I'm glad you finally got some sleep though."
"How long was I asleep?"
"A few days, Pepper made sure you were fine. I just got home a few hours ago."
"I missed you so much."
"Me too kiddo, me too," I said, pulling her back into a hug. We had already established that we missed each other but we both missed the other so much that it was all we could think about right now.
Her stomach growling made me pull away and look at her. "How about we go get you some breakfast? It's a bit early but you haven't eaten in a while." She nodded and we headed to the kitchen.
I knew I would have to get her sleep schedule back to somewhat normal but for now, I was just glad that she had gotten some sleep after not sleeping.
We settled on some frozen waffles for breakfast, neither of us really in the mood to cook. We sat next to each other and she leaned into me slightly as we ate.
"What did you do on the mission?" she asked me and I froze. I didn't want to lie to her but I didn't want to tell her what happened either.
"Nothing, it's confidential."
"I won't tell anyone!" she whined and I smiled lightly.
"I know, it was pretty easy, sorry I couldn't call you the last few days," I tried changing the subject.
"It's okay, I was sleeping most of them anyway."
"I heard you had some fun with Pepper and Steve though. Did you enjoy spending time with them?"
"Yeah, it was fun, I missed you too much though. I'm so glad you're back."
"I'm glad I'm back too, being here is much more fun than being away," I laughed. "Wanda," I paused to let her look at me. "There will be more missions that I have to go on in the future that you can't come on. If I leave, you can't just not sleep. You worry me when you don't get sleep and it's not healthy. Pepper, Steve, and Tony are all here and very willing to help you if you need it. I don't want to make you sleep with Pepper but if I leave and you don't sleep, that's what's going to happen. It's not because I want to punish you, it's because I want to make sure that you are healthy and doing the right thing. There may be another week long mission and you can't go a week with no sleep. If you wake up with a nightmare and want to be with someone, all you have to do is ask and someone will help you. Heck, Clint will even fly out here if you need him. Just promise me you won't force yourself to stay awake because you're afraid of having nightmares."
"I'm sorry, I was just scared. I promise," she told me and she seemed sincere.
"Thank you. It's okay, Pepper was there and helped you get sleep."
"I yelled at her and Steve though."
"You weren't exactly going to be super calm after almost a week of no sleep," I told her with a small laugh.
"Yeah, I guess. I still feel bad though."
"Then apologize and we'll move on. They know that you didn't mean anything by it."
"Okay," she nodded as she turned back to her waffle.
We settled on watching some TV until it was a more realistic hour of the morning.
People slowly trickled in and smiled at us as they sat around the couch with breakfast, joining us with watching TV.
The team and I had a small conversation that morning, basically just checking in to see how everyone was doing and then I decided I should probably spend some time with Wanda, just to make sure she was okay. She had been awfully quiet that morning.
"Hey Wanda, is there anything you want to do today?"
She hesitated and then shook her head.
"Are you sure?" It seemed like she had something in mind but was scared to say it.
She nodded.
"We can do whatever you want."
She seemed to think it over and then hesitantly asked, "I don't know if you remember what you said over the phone?"
I thought about it for a second and then smiled. "I do. I said we would eat junk food and watch movies, just you and me. Is that what you want to do?"
She smiled and nodded and I knew that she had probably been waiting to do that since I mentioned it.
Mostly everyone was already gone at this point but the rest left after hearing our conversation.
"Alright, let's go get some snacks!" I told her as we headed to the kitchen to raid the pantry. We grabbed chips, candy, and anything else that looked good as we headed back to the living room.
All of the snacks were placed on the table in front of us as we leaned back on the couch, choosing to sit curled into each other instead of eating anything.
I asked Wanda if there was a movie she wanted but after she said no, I just turned on some action movie I had seen a few times. I really wasn't paying attention to the movie, instead watching Wanda's facial expressions at different parts of the movie. I was so glad I was home with her, I had missed her more than anything.
Wanda sat curled into my side so she couldn't see me watching her. I ran my fingers through her hair and was able to breathe easy, knowing I was home with my girl and I wasn't back in that terrible place.
She normally fell asleep when we watched movies but I guess since she had spent the last few days sleeping, she wasn't exactly tired.
We spent the entire day watching TV and eating junk food until we were full. Wanda was back to smiling and laughing by the end of the day so I think the quietness this morning was just from sleeping for so long.
It took a few days for us to get back into a regular schedule but eventually we did, both of us sleeping pretty decently along with training and meals at decent times.
Wanda still had nightmares every night and would argue when it came to going back to sleep but she would usually cry herself back to sleep. I was getting worried about her nightmares again, knowing we might have to put her on some kind of medication to help her sleep.
I tried getting her to talk about them but she told me they were the same from our last talk. I mentioned therapy but she freaked out so I quickly backtracked, not wanting her to think that I would force her to go.
I had also started looking into schools for Wanda to go to. I had found a few that were close that I was looking into more. Wanda was getting better at controlling her powers as well as eating by herself. She could handle being without me for a while too so that shouldn't be a problem. I know she didn't want to go to school but she needed it. She was a teenager who needed social skills and friends her age.
I didn't want to force her to go to school but technically, I was legally obliged to send her. I had broken the law before though so if Wanda had an amazing reason for not going, I would make it work. I was pretty set on sending her though.
She had no idea I was looking into the schools and I wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. I knew all it would probably lead to would be an argument and I wasn't in the mood for that right now.
Pepper was helping me with this search by emailing principals and asking questions. She was also completing background checks for me. I would do this myself but she insisted that she help, saying that she wanted to be a part of her niece's life. I refrained from mentioning that Wanda would hate that Pepper was helping me send her to school because Pepper seemed so excited to help.
I was thinking about giving Wanda at least another week before sending her to school. I didn't want to give her too long to worry about it though so I would probably give her a few days' notice, that way she couldn't talk me out of it.
Pepper and I had finally decided on a school that was about half an hour away from the compound. We had wanted one that was closer but most of them didn't meet our expectations and the one that did wasn't taking new students.
We enrolled her for the following week. She would be starting late in the year but this school was just starting a new semester so she shouldn't have much she needed to catch up on. I arranged for all of her school supplies to be dropped off at the compound later that night. Now all that was left was telling her.