Better Days

WANDA POV:

Natasha eventually came to my room to try to talk to me but I was in absolutely no mood to talk. I left my door locked and eventually moved from the floor right in front of my door to my bed so that I could cry into my pillow. 

A few hours later, Nat was back at my door to tell me dinner was here and that the team was going to have a movie night. I was still mad so I got up, grabbed Nat's pajamas which were sitting on the end of the bed, and threw then at her, telling her to leave me alone and to go sleep in her own room. I didn't go to dinner and instead just stayed in my room. I was slightly surprised when Nat didn't insist harder that I go eat dinner but I was happy that she basically let it go. 

Steve tried talking to me but I ignored him. He stayed for a good ten minutes before finally sighing and giving up, heading back into the kitchen. I just continued to try to keep my cries as quiet as possible.

I had contemplated self-harming but I didn't want to go down that road again.

To be honest, at first, I didn't really understand why I was so upset. After a while of sitting and crying though, the reason for my angst was starting to become clearer. I had been trying so hard to push away the thought since I came here. Natasha didn't trust me. It had been something that I had thought since I first arrived at the compound and was around Nat. In the beginning, she was generally pretty cautious around me. I know I messed with her brain when I was still with Ultron and although I felt terrible for it, I'm not sure Natasha forgave me easily.

I tried my hardest not to be a burden after I first got here, staying mainly in my room, away from other people, but Nat pushed her way in in order to take care of me. I appreciated it greatly but I still could never shake the feeling and the thought that she still didn't trust me. 

I started to get some hope that she trusted me when we went to the Barton farm because she allowed me near children, something that even I barely trusted myself to do. I held onto that any time my brain tried to tell me that she didn't trust me but eventually, it wasn't enough. 

She didn't let me go on missions and she was always monitoring me. This made it so that the thought of her not trusting me came back in full swing, as loud as can be. I again tried to block it and carry on with normal life but it was so hard.

Her injury made me forget about it for a little while because I was so focused on making sure she was okay and being worried about her. Once she healed though, I was back to that. My separation issues were a way for me to cope with the thought because I was constantly with her, it was my decision that I was with her, she wasn't the one making sure I was being monitored. Then the separation technique started and I had a whole new thought, that she didn't like me and wanted to be away from me.

I soon learned that this was not the case at all and that she just wanted a healthy lifestyle for both herself and me. 

The thought was clear again when she tried to go on the mission without me. I of course snuck on and tried to tell myself that I was doing that because I needed to prove myself to Natasha. Prove that she can trust me to help with things. In reality, I'm pretty sure I lost even more of her trust after that moment. We definitely got closer after that day though, you know, after she took care of my disobedience. 

Then we got home and we did a pretty good job of being apart almost as equally as we were together. Neither one of us seemed to panic when we were without the other. Then my sickness happened and I wasn't really aware of much so I didn't really think about where I was in terms of trust with her.

Then there was the conversation that had just happened. She had told Nick Fury that she was unable to go on missions because she needed to be with me. This means that she couldn't trust me to stay by myself in the compound, in fear that I was going to hurt someone. Obviously she would be worried about that. I had hurt her with Ultron and she had never forgiven me. I tried to tell myself that that was okay and that we would eventually move past that but today made it clear that it wasn't okay and that I wasn't past it.

She needed to make sure that there was next to no way that she would be sent out of the compound so that she could monitor my every movement. She was scared that I would hurt one of the Avengers. Maybe she was even scared that I would go back to my old ways and side with the enemy again. Whatever it was, we can come to the conclusion that she didn't trust me. This is what upset me the most.

I trusted her more than anything so it hurt so much that she didn't trust me. I did all I could to try to get my mind off of what had recently happened but it stuck in the front of my brain, refusing to budge, so I eventually gave up and tried to sleep.

Of course that didn't go well at first. I hadn't slept without Natasha in several weeks and I missed her. I wanted her to come back and tell me that it was okay and that she wasn't mad but I had already kicked her out of the room for the night. She was probably furious with me. She had come to tell me goodnight but it was short and sweet before she gave up and left me to be by myself.

My wrists were itching to be sliced but I ignored it as I tried to think about something else. My thoughts drifted to Pietro and all of the things we used to do together as a child. These made me smile and I drifted off to sleep, starting to run out of good memories. 

I was sitting against a wall as Pietro yelled at me for being weak once again. He told me that I shouldn't have been crying about not being with Nat. He also told me that I was a baby because I had been scared to sleep without her. 

"Please stop!" I sobbed. 

"No, you know that I only tell you the truth. I do it to help you Wanda." He sounded cruel as he told me this and I longed for his soft, comforting voice. 

I heard screams come from far away and I got up and pushed past Pietro to find them. I followed the screams down a long hall and into a small, dim room. Nat was tied to a chair, gagged, covered in blood. Her eyes were wide and she was screaming past the gag in her mouth.

"Nat!" I yelled as I tried to get closer. I ran into a wall of clear plastic, blocking me from Nat. I looked to the left and saw Strucker fiddling with some metal tools on a table.

"You need to be punished," he kept repeating. He took several syringes and injected them into Nat's neck. She cringed and tried to get out of the chair but there was nothing she could do. She was stuck.

"Now it's time for the big one," he said and he opened a door that was in the corner of the room.

Nat looked horrified as she sat in the chair. All of a sudden, I saw myself walk out of the door, red magic swirling around her.

Nat screamed again and struggled, desperate to get out of the restraints. "Please!" I could hear her cry and it sounded so unlike her. 

The other me approached Nat and allowed red tendrils to float into Nat's head, pulling out all the bad memories.

"No! Stop it!" I shouted, pounding on the clear wall. "That's not me! Please, don't do this!"

"But that is you," Pietro's voice came from behind me. I spun around to see him leaning against the door frame.

"That's not me, I didn't do that! Please stop! You're hurting her."

"Oh but you did do that, do you not remember? She is terrified of you and will never trust you after what you did to her that day. This is exactly what you did to her, you resurfaced all of the things that she tries so hard to keep locked away. You're a monster Wanda."

"No! Stop!" I mumbled as I tried to cover my ears. Pietro continued talking while I could hear Nat's whimpers in the background. "Please stop!" I cried, desperate for this all to end. 

A loud, piercing scream erupted from Nat's mouth and I bolted upward.

I immediately started crying as I tried to catch my breath. My crying only increased once I realized Nat was still not in the bed with me. Everything came rushing back to me and I held onto my pillow as I tried to calm down. Nothing was working though as I could feel myself getting more and more upset and panicked. 

I don't know how much time had passed but it felt like an eternity. I heard a knock on my door and I immediately sucked in a breath, stifling my sobs and biting my tongue to prevent any from slipping out. 

"Wanda, are you okay in there?" It was Nat. After a few seconds of no response, she continued, "Can I come in?" I figured that if I stayed quiet enough, I might be able to trick her into thinking I was asleep. I desperately wanted her to come and hold me but I knew that she was probably still mad and that I needed to prove to her that I could be by myself. That I could be trusted. 

"Honey, please let me help you," she begged, snapping me out of my thoughts. I choked a sob into my pillow before holding them in again. "Alright baby, I'm going back to my room. If you need me, just yell or ask FRIDAY and I'll be here. You can come to me too." It took everything in me to not jump off the bed and run into her arms. I wanted her comfort so bad but I couldn't have it. I needed to prove I could be trusted by myself and I couldn't do that if I needed Nat. 

I waited another couple of minutes, making sure Nat had left, before I allowed my sobbing to continue. It was harder this time after holding it in for so long. It had felt like torture but now I could let it all out. 

I cried and cried and cried, desperately wanting Nat but knowing that I had to do this by myself. I eventually tired myself out with crying and felt my puffy eyes fighting to stay open. I allowed them to close and felt myself drifting back into sleep.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I woke up, a sob bursting out of my mouth, after another very similar nightmare. This time, Strucker was experimenting on both me and Nat and I pleaded with him to let me experiment on Nat so that I could escape my own torture. I had hurt her willingly and it killed me.

I looked at the clock and realized that less than an hour had passed since my last nightmare. This frustrated me and I cried harder, fighting the urge to go to Nat. 

Finally, after several minutes of struggling to breathe through my sobs, I decided to seek out what I wanted. My mama. 

My crying died down a bit after I left my room and made the short distance down the hall to Nat's room. I opened the door and saw that it was dark in there and there was no movement in the bed, meaning she was sleeping. 

I contemplated waking her up as my body longed for her comfort, but I tried to push it away as I turned back to the hallway, getting ready to go back to my room. 

"Wanda?" I heard her voice say from inside the room and I could see her sitting up, rubbing her eyes slightly. I felt bad that I woke her up but now that she was already up, I was ready for her to take all my pain away and tell me it was okay. 

"Nat?" It dawned on me that I didn't know if I was allowed in her room after all I had done so I waited by the door, waiting for her to tell me to leave. 

"C'mere," she said as she sat up in her bed. That was all the invitation I needed as I lurched forward, melting into her embrace.

"I'm sorry mama," I sobbed, gripping onto her, waiting for her to tell me it was okay. 

She told me that everything was okay and that she had me. It calmed me down immensely as I relished in the feeling of her comfort. I was still scared that she was mad but she was comforting me and that was all that mattered. 

"I'm so sorry for earlier Tasha," I told her once I had calmed down. I felt especially vulnerable right now and was perfectly content to lay in my mama's arms forever. 

"It's okay, I'm not mad, I just want to know what's going on." I was so glad that she said she wasn't mad but I was a little less excited for her to say she wanted to know what was going on. I was exhausted, I really wasn't up for a full conversation right now.

"Can we talk about it tomorrow? I will tell you, I'm just so tired." I was feeling a little overwhelmed by the idea of having to explain myself right now so I was relieved when Natasha agreed to talking tomorrow and told me to get some rest. 

I hesitantly asked if I could stay with her, really not wanting to go back to my room by myself. She gladly accepted and I snuggled further into her arms, wanting all the comfort I could get. It had been a long night. 

I felt Nat's hand rubbing my back as I fell asleep for the third time that night. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

Luckily, the next time I woke up, it was in the later hours of the morning. Nat was still in bed next to me but she was awake.

"Good morning sweetheart, did you sleep well?" she asked as she stroked my hair.

"Yeah," I told her as I leaned into her touch. "I'm sorry for bugging you last night."

"No need to apologize honey! You didn't bug me, I wanted you to come to me. I'll always be here if you need me." I smiled and chose to stay silent as I enjoyed the feeling of her fingers brushing through my hair.

We stayed silent for a bit longer before Nat spoke. "Do you wanna tell me what was going on yesterday?"

I rolled over so that I was facing her. "I was upset because you don't trust me."

"What do you mean I don't trust you?" she asked calmly.

"You told Nick that you couldn't leave the compound because you needed to make sure that you were there to monitor me at all times. I trust you so much and it hurts that you don't trust me. I completely understand though," I said while looking at the blankets. 

"Honey," she said as she grabbed my hands and waited for me to look at her, "I trust you so much. I didn't tell Nick that I couldn't go on missions because I didn't trust you, I told him that because I didn't want to leave you. You mean so much to me and I wanted to make sure that I was there to take care of you."

"But what I did to you, with Ultron, you can't forgive that." Nat took a sharp intake of breath when I mentioned Ultron. 

"I can forgive that. You were lost and scared when you were with Ultron. One you found out his true intentions, you switched sides and made the right decision. I know that that couldn't have been easy but you did it."

"But I was so bad! I brought up your worst fears and made you relive them! How can you just forgive that? I was terrible to you!"

"Wanda, let me ask you something," she paused for a moment for me to nod. "Would you ever do it again? Go into my brain and make me relive my nightmares?"

"Of course not!" I shouted, terrified that she would think I'd do it again.

"Then I'm not worried whatsoever. I trust you Wanda and I trust that you won't do that again. People make mistakes, trust me, I made one's way worse than you, but what's important is how you come back from them. I will never hold that against you Wanda. It happened, it's in the past, we moved on. I love you so much and there is nothing you can do to change that."

I was relieved she felt that way. I had always felt deep down that this was what Nat would say if I approached her with the topic but it felt nice to hear her say it out loud. "I really am sorry for going into your mind," I told her quietly. "I never apologized and I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," she said softly as she pulled me in for a hug. We stayed in the hug for a few seconds before I pulled away. "You ready for breakfast?" she asked with a smile on her face.

I nodded and we got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. 

"Oh look! The little witch has emerged from her bedroom," Tony said from his place in the kitchen. Nat slapped him upside the head as she walked past him and he yelped before bringing a hand up to rub the spot where she hit. 

"Sorry for last night," I told him, not really sure what all he knew about it. I knew I had to apologize to Steve because he was there to witness my meltdown. 

"No problemo kiddo, everyone has rough nights." I smiled at him as I took a bite into my apple. Nat was making toast for both of us.

Steve entered the kitchen a few moments later in sweaty workout clothes. He made himself a protein shake while he said his good mornings to all of us.

"Hey, I'm sorry for yesterday," I told him. "I'm sorry you had to witness that and it won't happen again."

He smiled at me as he said, "No worries Wanda. I'm glad to see you are feeling better today."

The rest of the morning was spent eating breakfast and then doing some cleaning around the house. 

I was bored and tired of being cooped up in the house but there really wasn't anywhere I could go. Nat had a meeting with Nick that afternoon so I hung out with Pepper so that Nat could go to her meeting in peace. 

When she came back from the meeting, she had a blank look on her face. "Hey, how'd it go?" I asked, cleaning up from a game that Pepper and I were playing. Pepper had to leave to go take care of some SI stuff so it was just me.

"Um, it was good. I have something to tell you though." I looked at her, waiting for her to go on. "So I told Nick that I was ready to start going on missions again and he just so happened to have a solo mission for me."

"That's cool!" I said, not totally understanding what that meant. 

"He wants me to go on it now."

"Okay," I started. "How long do you think it will take?" Normally solo missions were only a few hours so I wasn't worried.

"At least a week," she said. A week?! That was way too long! I couldn't go a week without her! 

"A week?" I questioned, making sure I heard her right.

"Yeah, you would stay here with Pepper and the team and I would be back as soon as I can."

"Can't I go with you?" I asked, starting to freak out a little bit.

"No, this is not a mission that is suitable for children."

"I'm not a child," I whined, trying to convince her to take me.

"Wanda," she warned. "I'm trusting you to stay here. I will let the team know what is going on but if I find out that you even think of sneaking onto this mission, we will have a repeat of what happened last time."

I shuddered, not wanting to be in that position again. "Okay Tasha, I'll stay here, I promise."

"Good," she said as she kissed my forehead. "Alright, well I need to go get ready to go. Do you want to go let the team know what is going on?"

"Sure," I said as I headed off to find the team. I was trying to keep my mind off of how I was going to last a week without Nat. I didn't even last a night without her! I briefly thought of sneaking onto the mission anyways but I knew that that would only result in a sore bottom and a mad Natasha. Neither sounded appealing so I continued my way to go find the team.

I found Tony in his lab so I told him that Nat was heading to a mission that would take a week. I didn't want her to be gone that long but I also wanted her to think that I was capable of spending time without her.

I then found Steve and Rhodey and told them as well. None of them seemed surprised so my guess was that this used to be a normal thing. 

I headed back to my room to see Nat packing a bag. She had some very fancy, almost skimpy, clothing that I saw her shove in the bag. "What are those for?" I asked, trying to get a better look at the lace items. 

"Nothing," she said hurriedly as she shoved some other clothing on top of it. I had no idea what mission she would be going on that required her to wear lingerie type clothing but maybe I just mistook the clothes in there.

She quickly finished packing and then looked at me. "Did you tell the team what was going on?"

"Yeah, I told them that you would be gone for a week."

"Okay, good. I am going to try to finish this mission as quickly as possible so that I can come back home to you. If you need me, any time, day or night, just call me. I will make sure I always have my phone on me in case you need me. If you have a nightmare and can't get back to sleep, either call me or get someone from the team. Please don't force yourself to deal with it alone. You have people who are here to help you. I love you so much and I'm going to miss you," she told me as she pulled me into a hug. I tried not to cry as I thought of spending the week without her. I hadn't spent time without her since I came to the compound so I was a little worried with how it was going to go.

"Okay, I'm going to miss you so much. I love you too! Let me know how it goes okay?"

"I will," she said as we pulled out of the hug. 

I followed Nat into the living room where she asked to talk to Steve really quickly. I let them talk while I tried to stay calm with the idea of her leaving. I really wanted to latch onto her and not let her go, making her stay with me, but I was 16, I needed to act like it. 

She came back to me and hugged me once more, making me promise to call her if I needed anything, before she left. It was already nearing dinner time by the time she left so I headed into the kitchen to make something to distract myself. 

I ended up just making some spaghetti and meatballs, nothing too complicated. I was exhausted by the time I was done, I hadn't exactly gotten a lot of sleep last night, but I was not looking forward to sleeping without Nat. What if I had a nightmare? Sure Tony, Steve, and Pepper were in the building but they weren't Nat. 

I took a long shower and then grabbed the guitar that was in my room. It was a gift from Steve but I had yet to play it. I didn't know how to play but I messed with the strings a little bit, trying to keep my mind off of Natasha. 

No one came to check on me all night so I ended up just staying awake. I didn't really mean to, I just got distracted with some show and then before I knew it, it was morning. 

I got up and went to the kitchen to eat something, even though I wasn't really hungry. Steve was making pancakes and smiled softly at me when I walked in.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked.

"Good."

"No nightmares?" I was kind of surprised that he would ask me about them, I didn't even know that he knew I had nightmares.

"No nightmares," I answered after a second of silence.

He looked over his shoulder at me but smiled. "That's great!" 

"Yup," I nodded as I messed with a string that was on my shirt. I didn't technically lie about the nightmares. I didn't have one, I just never fell asleep. 

I heard soft footsteps from behind me and turned to see Pepper walking in, still in pajama pants and a tank top, holding a mug of coffee.

"Hi sweetie," she greeted me as she rubbed my back. It reminded me of Nat and I realized how much I missed her.

"Hi."

"How'd you sleep? Any nightmares?"

"I slept good, no nightmares."

"Really, that's awesome!" So apparently Nat told everyone about my nightmares. It kind of bothered me that everyone knew I was that weak at night but at least I didn't wake any of them up with my screams and cries. 

Steve set a plate of pancakes in front of me and I ate them slowly, deep in thought. 

"I was thinking Wanda," Pepper's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Do you want to go to SI Headquarters with me today? I have some work to do and I was wondering if you wanted to see what I do?"

I didn't really want to go but I figured it might help pass the day quicker, making me one day closer to seeing Nat so I agreed. "Sure, sounds fun."

"Great! We'll leave right after breakfast. You don't have to worry about dressing nice, I don't have any meetings so we'll stay in my office. Just dress comfortably." I nodded as I finished my pancakes. 

I got up and headed to my room to change and do my hair. I settled on a simple braid and then I went back to go find Pepper. 

I only had to wait about half an hour before we were leaving the compound and heading to the headquarters. I had never been there so when we pulled up, I was surprised at how big it was.

"Wow," I said.

"Yup, it's impressive huh," Pepper laughed.

"Yeah," I said, climbing out of the car. I followed Pepper down several hallways until we arrived at her office. It was large with a huge desk in front of a wall of windows. There were several paintings on the wall and a smaller table in the corner with some paperwork on it. 

Pepper sat at the desk and pulled a chair over for me to sit down as well. She handed me a stack of papers and asked if I could staple each packet together. 

So that's what I spent my morning doing. Counting out 15 pages, hitting them lightly against the table to make sure they were all lined up, and then stapling the corner. It was a calming task that I got sucked into doing. 

Pepper had a few phone calls that she did but she mostly just worked on her computer, making light chit-chat with me. 

For lunch we went down the street to a sandwich shop. While we were there, I got a call from Nat.

"Hi Wanda! How's it going?"

"Hi Nat! It's going good, I miss you!" I told her.

"I miss you too. How did you sleep last night?"

"I slept good. I didn't even have any nightmares."

"Really? That's awesome!" I felt a pang of guilt from lying to her, especially when I heard how happy she was.

"I went to work with Pepper today, we are eating these amazing sandwiches."

"That's so cool. I'm glad you're having fun!"

"Yeah, I miss you though."

"I miss you so much honey. I'll be home soon. The mission may be shorter than I thought. I'm hoping to be home by this weekend." It was currently Tuesday so there was still a while until she would be home. Better than a whole week though.

"That would be great," I told her. "The sooner the better."

"Yeah," she sighed. "Alright well I have to go but if you need anything, call me."

"I will."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

"Bye." She hung up the phone and I went back to eating my sandwich, telling Pepper that Nat may be home by the weekend. 

The rest of my afternoon was spent putting packets and cards in files for new interns at SI. The day had gone by faster than I thought it would which was good. I was tired from my night of no sleep but it wasn't too bad yet. I hoped I could make it the whole week without sleep. I didn't want to sleep without Nat, I was too scared. I know I was being a baby but it was true, I was terrified of having a nightmare and then not having Nat there to hold me.

By the time we got home, there was just enough time to eat dinner before it was time for bed. I laid on my bed but tried everything I could to not fall asleep. 

I felt myself losing grip on consciousness so I got out of bed and went into my bathroom where I splashed some water on my face. That woke me up and I headed back to my bed.

I was beyond thrilled when the sun rose and the time turned into a more acceptable time to get up.

I repeated the process from yesterday of heading into the kitchen. Steve was already there but he was making an omelet this time. 

"How'd you sleep?" he asked, glancing my direction.

"Good, no nightmares which was nice."

"Two nights in a row with no nightmares?" he asked, almost disbelievingly. 

"Yup, it's nice." I wasn't lying, I didn't have any nightmares so he couldn't get mad at me. He seemed to finally believe me as he turned back to the omelet and continued cooking it.

He set one on a plate in front of me and I ate it, enjoying the taste more than I thought I would.

"What are your plans for the day?" he asked me.

"Not sure, probably just hang out and rest."

"Do you want to go on a run with me? I was planning on going a little later so that I could try out a new area."

"That sounds nice," I told him. 

"Awesome!" So that's what I spend the majority of my day doing. We left about an hour after we finished breakfast. We packed a lunch for after the run and left it in the car. Once we finished the amazing run, we sat down in a nice clearing to eat. There was a creek a few feet away from me and I enjoyed watching the water rush over the rocks. 

It was a nice day out so I was enjoying just sitting outside and looking around. 

After lunch, Steve and I decided to go on a walk, mainly just to enjoy the scenery. Our walk lasted a while and I was exhausted by the time we were done. Part of that was probably due to 2 nights of no sleep but that didn't mean I was going to sleep until Nat got home.

We headed back to the compound and I spent the rest of my afternoon showering and then reading, trying to stay awake. Nat called me again and it helped to distract me for a little bit.

"Hi honey, how was night number two without me?"

"It was good, I went another night without a nightmare!"

"Really? Are you sleeping?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah, I've been sleeping through the night," I lied. 

"Well that's good," she said suspiciously so I quickly changed topics.

"How's the mission going?"

"Good, everything is going to plan. I may not be able to call you tomorrow though. If you need me, you can try to call me and I promise I will do my best to answer. If I don't though, don't worry, I'll be fine. You can always go to the team or Pepper." I wasn't thrilled with the idea of possibly not being able to reach her if I needed but I wanted to continue to prove to her that I was capable of being left alone.

"Okay, sounds good. I can't wait for you to get home."

"I can't wait either. Once I get home, we're spending an entire day together, just watching TV and binging on junk food."

"Deal," I laughed. We talked a little more but then it was time for her to go and for me to "get some sleep" as Nat said.

Night three was a lot harder to stay awake than the other two but I managed to do it. I felt a little sick by the time I got up to head to the kitchen but luckily Steve wasn't there to see me in my terrible state. 

I grabbed some cereal for breakfast and kept my head down when Tony walked in. "What's up little witch?"

"Nothing much," I responded. "What are you up to today?"

"Eh, I don't know, I'll probably just mess around with some stuff in my lab. Wanna join me?"

"Not today, I have some stuff I want to do."

"Okay, just c'mon down if you change your mind."

"Okay," I smiled at him briefly before he left the room after grabbing some coffee. Pepper also came into the kitchen and asked how I was doing.

"How'd you sleep?" she asked as she rummaged through the cabinets.

"Good, another night with no nightmares."

"Wow Wanda, that's such an improvement!" she said excitedly. "Does Nat know?"

"She knows I went two nights but she doesn't know about last night yet. She said she may not be able to call me today." Pepper's face dropped a little bit after I mentioned that but she quickly covered it up with a smile. Odd.

"Well I bet she will be excited when you tell her!" She sat down next to me and proceeded to eat her breakfast, avocado toast, while I finished up mine. 

I washed my bowl and headed back to my room, saying bye to Pepper and getting changed into workout clothes. 

I went to the gym and started working on some basic, safe power control. Things like moving lighter objects from one side of the room to the other. Using my powers while tired was harder than I thought and I got exhausted extremely quickly. 

I switched to beating up some of the punching bags, trying to make sure my form was correct like Nat taught me. 

I got weak quickly, again, probably from the lack of sleep, so I headed back up to my room to shower and lay down. I wasn't going to sleep but a little rest wasn't going to kill me.

I watched some TV and tried to distract myself from sleeping. I wanted to call Nat and talk to her but I knew she was on a mission and that the more I talked to her, the less time she had to complete the mission. I wasn't exactly sure what the mission entailed but when I questioned her on it last night, she quickly shut me down and changed the subject. 

I got tired of watching TV and headed to Nat's office. I had a feeling she wouldn't like what I was doing but I was curious. I started going through her files, trying to find any information on the mission that she was currently on. 

A few of the filing cabinets were locked and I couldn't find the keys so I had to settle for anything that I could open. I didn't find much interesting information, mostly just old paperwork from some older missions or other SHIELD stuff that I didn't understand.

I gave up after a while and headed back to my room, continuing with my TV. 

Natasha never called me and I was a little worried but she told me that this was to be expected so I wasn't super worried. I ate dinner with the team before watching a movie and heading to bed. 

Of course I wasn't going to sleep but the rest of them didn't know that. 

All night was a battle to stay awake. I had to pace my room in order to keep myself from falling asleep. My eyes would wander shut and I would have to drag them open, fighting against the urge to keep them shut. I contemplated taking a cold shower to keep myself awake but walking seemed to be working just fine and I didn't want to be cold and tired. 

The night passed extremely slowly and by the time it was morning, I felt sick. Not as sick as when I actually had a virus but just overall sick. I had a headache and felt dizzy. I was 99% sure they were caused by not sleeping but I kept telling myself I just had to last a few more days. Then I could sleep.

Unfortunately, I looked as tired as I felt. As soon as I emerged into the kitchen, Steve and Pepper rushed over to me, Pepper pressing her hand on my forehead and Steve looking at me with a worried expression.

"Good morning to you too," I said as I gently pushed Pepper's hand away.

"Wanda, did you sleep last night?"

"Yeah, another nightmareless night," I proudly exclaimed, pouring myself a cup of coffee. I was going to need it if I wanted to stay awake. 

"Are you sure honey?" Pepper asked. "It's okay if you had a nightmare. You can tell us."

"Nope, no nightmares," I insisted.

"Okay, if you didn't have a nightmare, then do you want to tell me why it looks like you didn't sleep last night? In fact it looks like you haven't slept in a few days," Steve said, crossing his arms. 

I shrugged. "I don't know why it looks like that, I might've accidentally stayed up a little too late watching TV. Sorry, I'll do better tonight."

They both looked at me with squinted eyes but didn't push it, going on with their regular morning routines.

I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that I tricked them. The rest of the morning was going well until I went to leave the kitchen.

I turned around and headed to the hallway when I saw Nat standing there looking at me. "You're home!" I shouted as I ran to hug her. By the time I got to her, I no longer saw her anymore. I looked around and saw that Steve and Pepper were looking at me weirdly.

"Who's home?" Steve asked.

"No one," I said as I tried to leave.

"Wanda," Pepper yelled out. "Come here please." I contemplated not listening and continuing to my room but I turned around and walked over to Pepper.

"Yes?"

"What did you see?"

"I didn't see anything," I lied. 

"Uh-huh. Then why did you shout and run over to the hallway?"

"I thought I saw something but I didn't. Sorry."

"Hey FRIDAY?" Pepper asked as I stood there.

"Yes Ms. Potts?"

"Did Wanda sleep last night?"

I froze. "No Ms. Potts." Shit.

She looked at me. "Why did you lie to us Wanda?" she asked and Steve was watching from the kitchen.

"I didn't! I did sleep!"

"Then why would FRIDAY tell us that you didn't?" Steve cut in.

"I don't know! She's probably broken."

"FRIDAY?" Steve continued. "Did Pepper sleep last night?"

"Yes Mr. Rogers." 

"Well she must be confused about me!" I insisted, trying to convince them that I did sleep.

"Wanda, it's okay if you didn't sleep. Can you tell us why you didn't sleep?" Pepper asked.

"I slept!" I said, getting frustrated and feeling like crying at the same time.

Pepper sighed and asked, "FRIDAY, when was the last time Wanda slept?"

"Miss. Maximoff has not slept since Sunday night." Nat left on Monday and I hadn't slept since then. It was now Friday. 

"Oh my gosh! Wanda!" Pepper yelled. "Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"I have! FRIDAY's broken."

"No she's not. Is it because Nat's gone? Honey, if you want to sleep with me you can," Pepper told me gently, realizing what the problem was.

"I don't need Nat to sleep," I argued, not wanting to be seen as a baby. 

"Okay, then why haven't you been sleeping?"

"I don't know okay?" I shouted, getting fed up and not wanting to admit that I was scared without Nat. I stormed off, heading to my room. I knew if I laid down that I would immediately fall asleep so I continued pacing. It was going to be a long day.