Better Days

NATASHA POV:

A lot had happened in the past week. 

The day we got back to the compound has been a fairly easy day. Wanda and I got settled in the compound and we trained for the first time in a long time. It had been a long day for Wanda so I wasn't surprised when she started to fall asleep during the movie. I felt her relaxing further and further into my side and I whispered, "I love you my sweet, little witch." 

I felt her tense next to me before she relaxed again and whispered back, "I love you too." She then turned her body so she could lay her head on my chest. She slowly drifted off to sleep and by the time the movie was over, she was in a deep sleep. I had carried her back to her room but she wouldn't let go of my shirt so I laid down next to her. It was the first time in a long time that she didn't have a nightmare. 

The next several days were nice. Wanda was in a good mood which was great to see. We would train very lightly each day, just to get Wanda used to moving around again and starting to condition her. She still had the tube in and I was trying to get her off of it sooner rather than later. She had had this tube for almost two weeks which meant that we were going to need to change it soon. I was not looking forward to having to place it again but I was going to have to if we didn't get her eating full meals again. 

Steve, Tony and I would try to get her to eat more and more at each meal but the most we had gotten her to eat was two pieces of buttered bread with an orange. That was huge compared to most of her other meals. We could sometimes get her to eat a bowl of cereal but then she would refuse to eat anything else until she did a training session. I knew that it was just her mind trying to assure her that she wasn't offering her body nutrients but it was upsetting nonetheless. 

It was the sixth day at the compound when Wanda surprised me. She had had a rough night from another nightmare but when she walked into the kitchen, she grabbed two frozen waffles out of the freezer and on her way to put them in the toaster, she made an announcement, "I am done with the feeding tube." I set my coffee cup down and looked at her, waiting to see if anything followed that statement. 

She put the two waffles in the toaster and pulled out an orange which she started peeling. She also went over to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup of coffee. I stared at her in disbelief. She had gone from eating a piece of bread, a small bowl of grapes, and a dinner roll the day before to eating a full breakfast the next. 

The waffles finished in the toaster and she pulled them out and lathered them in peanut butter. She then sat down at the table and quickly ate all of the food. She didn't seem upset which was good but I had a feeling that there was a reason for this sudden need to eat, I just didn't know if I wanted to question her about it yet. 

"Wanda?" I asked as soon as she had finished all of her food and got up to leave. 

"Yeah Nat?" 

"Is there a reason why you just ate an entire breakfast?" I was slightly nervous that Wanda was in some kind of trance and that my comment would make her snap out of it and freak out but she stayed calm as she looked at me. 

She shrugged, "I'm just done with the tube. If I eat today, can we take the tube out?" I was trying to think of what we had talked about recently and if any of it would contribute to this sudden change. Maybe she really was just ready to get back to normal?

"Um, maybe not today but if you eat that well, then we can very soon." I knew that one day of good eating was not going to guarantee another day of good eating so I wanted to take it slow. 

"Okay, can we go train now?" Something about her seemed off but not necessarily in a bad way. It almost seemed like she was reading off of a script and that she was hiding something but she didn't seem upset so I let it go. 

"Sure, let me just go get changed really quick," I told her. "I'll meet you in the gym. Why don't you go warm up, take a few laps around the gym?" She nodded and took off in the direction of the gym. 

I quickly got changed and met her in the gym within five minutes. She was jogging lightly around the edge of the gym, just like I had told her too. When she noticed me she jogged over to where I was standing. 

We quickly got into our routine of sparring gently and then working on power control. She was getting stronger and I knew I was going to have to let her start to actually train soon but that didn't mean she was going to become an Avenger. She still didn't know this so she was set on training to be an Avenger. Luckily a mission hadn't come up yet so she hasn't needed to find out my plan yet, but I knew that this wouldn't last forever. 

She seemed to act completely normal during training which made me question what I had thought earlier. Maybe I just imagined her being off? 

We finished training and then we headed back to the living room. I watched as Wanda grabbed a granola bar in the kitchen before joining me in the living room. Vision was in the living room and he asked to talk to Wanda. I shrugged and left the room, leaving Wanda and Vision alone to talk. I then headed off to go find Tony, I needed to talk to him about the feeding tube situation. 

Sure enough I found him in his lab. 

"Hey Tones," I said as I entered the lab and sat on one of his rolly-chairs. 

"What's up?" he asked as he continued working. 

"Wanda's eating again." He glanced in my direction but continued working. 

"Okay...she has been eating, hasn't she? This isn't new information."

"No, I mean like actually eating enough to sustain her body. She ate a full breakfast this morning and she grabbed a granola bar when we finished training. She said she wants to get off of the tube." Tony had stopped working to look at me.

"Are you going to let her get off of the tube?"

"Well I mean I don't want her to have to live with it! If she is eating, I think I should take it out."

"Remember how much of a pain in the ass it was to put it in?" Tony reminded me. 

"Yeah but she's in a much better place now, both mentally and physically. She hasn't thrown up in weeks-"

"That you know of," Tony mumbled under his breath. 

I glared at him but continued. "She is getting much stronger and can move around without getting lightheaded. She can run and spar now which is a huge improvement from a few weeks ago. She can also eat meals. Before, just thinking about food put her into a full-blown panic attack. I think she's ready to get off of the feeding tube."

"She's your kid, if you want, go for it." I froze when he said "your kid." I thought of her as my own daughter but I didn't know that other people thought of her as mine as well. 

"I think I'll make sure that she eats well all of today and tomorrow. If she eats well, I'll take the tube out tomorrow afternoon, hopefully for good this time." 

"Alright, let me know if you need help with any of it." By "it," I assumed he meant placement or removal of the tube so I thanked him and then left his lab, going to find Wanda to let her know that it was lunchtime. 

WANDA POV:

Despite Nat having her own room at the compound, she chose to sleep with me every night. It made me feel like a baby but it also made me feel safe and secure. I had managed to sleep through one whole night without a nightmare but unfortunately, the nightmares were back the next night, leaving me bawling in Nat's arms until the early hours of the morning. 

We had been at the compound for almost a week when I had another nightmare, this one was a bit different though.

Pietro was yelling at me, but not because I shot him. He was telling me that I was weak because I couldn't eat like a normal person. He screamed at me until I was sobbing, begging him to stop. He told me that my tube made me ugly and that if I didn't get rid of it soon, he was going to hate me and possibly kill me, depending on how mad he was.

When I woke up, I knew it wasn't real but it didn't mean that my feelings understood that it wasn't real.

I felt hurt and scared. I wanted to get rid of the tube so that Pietro didn't hate me. Natasha was in the room when I woke up but I didn't cry as much this time, I was mainly scared and disgusted with myself for needing the tube. I was weak, Pietro had told me that. It took all of my strength to not reach up and pull the tube out right now. 

I didn't get anymore sleep that night but after about half an hour of Nat rubbing my back and telling me that it was okay, I pulled away and turned over, feigning sleep until I heard her breaths deepen and even out, meaning she fell asleep. 

I tried to go back to sleep but every time I closed my eyes, I saw Pietro screaming at me, calling me weak. I heard Natasha get up at around 5:30 and then I heard her talking to someone else outside of the room. When I listened closely, I heard a male voice that matched Steve's. 

The voices got further and further away until I could no longer hear them. I climbed out of bed and sat at my desk, rolling up my sleeve to look at the red marks on my arm. Most of them were faded or gone completely but there were still some that I had made the night before. After I was sure that Nat wasn't coming back, I started snapping the band on my arm, over and over again, until I started to draw blood. 

I knew to stop there and move to another section of my arm. I heard a small noise come from one corner in my room and I whipped around, shoving my sleeve down in the process, scared that I had been caught. 

Vision had just phased through my wall. "Vision!" I shouted quietly enough that no one else in the compound could hear me but loud enough that he would know I was upset. "You can't just phase through my wall! There are doors for a reason. What if I was changing? Huh, then what would you have done?"

"I'm sorry, I just thought that since you were awake, you would be okay with a visitor. I see that I was wrong now and for that I'm sorry. Also I don't see how you changing would have made a difference?"

"I wouldn't have had clothes on Vision. You can't barge into people's rooms, you have to knock on the door and wait for them to call you in. Then and only then can you enter the room, okay?" I was a lot calmer now, knowing that Vision didn't mean to be rude, he just didn't know any better.

"I will knock next time," he told me. "Before I go, can I ask you a question?" I nodded at him to go ahead. "What were you doing before I entered?" He looked at my wrist and I realized that I had tiny red marks on my shirt. I was wearing a white shirt so it was fairly easy to see. 

"Oh, um, nothing."

"It appears that you are bleeding," he said as he walked closer, pointing to my wrist. 

"Oh, I um accidentally gave myself a paper cut with this," I said, holding up a piece of notebook paper. "I was just working on bandaging it when you came in," I lied. 

"Well I hope your wrist feels better soon," he told me sincerely. "Do you need any help bandaging your wrist?"

"No thanks. I'm all good," I smiled at him. "Thank you for asking though." He then hesitantly said goodbye and left the room. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pulled my sleeve back up to look at my wrist. It wasn't bleeding heavily but it was enough to stain my shirt. 

I quickly stripped my shirt and pulled on another one in case Nat got back soon. I snapped the rubber band a few more times on both of my wrists and then I cleaned them before getting dressed into workout gear. 

It was around 7:30 when I finally left my room and headed to the kitchen. I had been thinking about this moment since my nightmare. I was going to make Pietro think I was strong, I was going to get off of my tube. Natasha looked up when I walked in, her hair was slightly damp which meant that she had showered, most likely in her room because she hadn't come back to our room since she left that morning. My guess was she went on a run with Steve. It was kind of nice that she left me alone. It's not that I didn't like her company, to be honest, I didn't really want to be without her but it was nice to know that she now trusted me enough to leave me alone without a babysitter for a few hours. 

I announced that I was done with the tube while I started to make my breakfast. Natasha didn't say anything so I continued making my breakfast. I was really tired since I hadn't gotten much sleep that night so I poured myself a cup of coffee while the rest of my breakfast finished baking. 

I was deep in thought while I ate, thinking about how proud of me Pietro would be for not being weak. I was also going to get rid of this tube soon so he wouldn't think I was ugly. I knew he couldn't kill me in real life but that didn't mean that he couldn't do anything in my dreams. I got pulled out of my thoughts by Nat's voice. "Wanda?" 

"Yeah Nat?"

"Is there a reason why you just ate an entire breakfast?" There was no way that I was going to tell her the actual reason, because if I did, she would make me talk to a shrink and I didn't want that. 

I nonchalantly responded with, "I'm just done with the tube. If I eat today, can we take the tube out?" I wanted to please the Pietro that had been in my dreams. 

"Um, maybe not today but if you eat that well, then we can very soon." Her response wasn't exactly what I wanted but it was good enough. 

"Okay, can we go train now?" This would show Pietro that I wasn't weak. If I trained, it would show him that I was becoming powerful and that he could think of me as strong, not weak. 

She let me know that we could but that she had to get changed really quick. She also told me to do some laps so I quickly headed down to the gym and sprinted two full laps. I then started jogging because I felt like my legs were going to give out. Nat then entered the gym and I jogged over to her, getting ready to train. 

I was hoping that she would let me train harder today but it was the same as every other day, light sparring with power control. It kind of sucked but I also worked really hard to make the sparring perfect so that Pietro would be proud of me. 

Training flew by and soon Nat was announcing that we were done. I grabbed a granola bar before following Nat to the living room and was slightly surprised to see Vision in the living room. 

"Can I speak to you Wanda?" he asked as I started unwrapping the granola bar. Nat looked at me. 

"Sure," I said. Nat shrugged and left. "What's up?"

"How are your wrists doing?" I quickly checked to make sure that no one else was in the room before answering. 

"They are good. I hate paper cuts, they sting like a son of a bitch but I'm okay now," I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring manner before I turned to leave. He stopped me though. 

"Do you get paper cuts from rubber bands?" I froze and turned to look at him. 

"What do you mean?"

"Well you told me that you got a paper cut from notebook paper but when I came in your room, you had a rubber band around your wrist and it looked like it was causing you pain from the loud snapping noise it made. That was a rubber band wasn't it?"

I was starting to panic slightly but knew that I had a good chance at getting Vision to hide this from everyone. 

"Well you don't get paper cuts from rubber bands but rubber bands can cause other injuries." I knew that there was no point in lying about that. He knew I was lying and he would probably tell on me then. "I was just curious as to what a rubber band felt like when it hit you, that's all. No problem."

"Oh, well I may be wrong but it looked like it hurt you so maybe you should refrain from doing that in the future?" 

"Of course. Now can we keep this our little secret? It was no big deal but Nat won't see it that way, she overreacts."

"No problem Wanda, this will be our little secret," he told me and I immediately trusted him. 

"Thank you so much Vis!" I then headed to my room to shower from the training. 

By the time I finished showering and getting dressed, it was already lunch time. I walked into the kitchen and Nat was already there, making cobb salads. I sat down and quickly ate the one that she made for me. She looked at me a little weird but I didn't care, my main concern was to please Pietro. 

The rest of the day flew by with Nat and I going outside to get some fresh air and then Tony asking me all about my time at the Barton's. Before I knew it, it was time to go back to bed. I was nervous that Pietro would be back and wouldn't be happy since I hadn't managed to get rid of the tube. I had eaten a large bowl of spaghetti for dinner and then I even had a donut for dessert to try to please Pietro. 

As Nat and I climbed in bed, I prayed that Pietro wouldn't show up mad at me in my dreams again. 

Luck was not on my side as I had another dream with him and he was not happy that I still had the tube.

He screamed at me and called me weak and ugly again. He told me that he now hated me which made me sob and beg him for forgiveness. I tried to reason with him and tell him that I tried to get rid of the tube by eating but that I had to wait another day before I could get rid of it but he didn't want to listen. Instead he pulled out a knife and approached me. I tried to back up and run away from him but some invisible force kept me glued to the ground and he was able to hold the knife against my throat as he warned me. "If you don't get rid of the tube by tomorrow night, you will not be happy." He left the threat open but I knew exactly what he planned to do and it included the knife that was pressed against my throat. 

He threw me back and looked at me with such hateful eyes that my heart broke. I begged him for forgiveness but he just ignored me, sharpening his knife.

This time when I woke up, I did cry, a lot. Natasha held me and told me that it was going to be okay and eventually, I calmed down. I knew that they were just dreams but the look in his eyes haunted me. I never wanted my brother to hate me but that's what was happening. All that meant was that I was going to have to try harder with eating the next day. I could do that, especially if it would make Pietro happy.