Walking out
‘I tell people my sister moved up West.
You are a science teacher, Your husband-he renovates houses’
Yelena recites, smiling softly and offering Nat a cup of coffee
‘You are thinking about moving but waiting for the interest rates to go down.’
‘That’s not my story’ Nat laughs taking a glug of coffee
‘I know’ Yelena replies, tilting her head slightly ‘you are special, you have had your second chance and done well, you have-what is the phrase you love so much- wiped out the red on your leger’
‘no’ Nats reply is sharp ‘My leger is dripping red and you know that, even dying does not erase the deaths I caused’ Yelena frowns
‘Natalia, we did what we had to do to be standing here today, free and happy. You have found a purpose and I could not be happier for you. But there is no more red. You are free.’
Slowly Yelena reaches out and takes Nat’s hand, covering it sightly with her own
‘Im not Natalia anymore-you know that. I’m Natasha Romanoff. They owned Natalia’ she whispers but Yelena shakes her head
‘No one owns Natalia Alianovna Yelena Romanova-Belova not even fire and water can control her’ she replies
Nat tilts her head up looking straight into Yelenas eyes
‘Only Yelena Svoboda Natalia Belova-Romanova can stop me when I want to do something’
‘Probably something stupid’ Yelena adds smirking.
Her smirk is identical to Nats, but not totally filled with happiness. Yet.
***
‘You want me to leave?’ Is all Yelena has to say
‘Yes’ Nat replies, they are still sitting opposite each other, coffee abandoned in some sort of Russian staring contest
‘Это никогда не будет моим домом, Наталья, никогда не будет по-настоящему принадлежать мне. Но я не могу просто уйти. это место показало мне, как измениться, стать новым человеком, пойти по твоим стопам и найти цель’ Yelena says sadly, standing up as if to go (This will never be my home, Natalya, it will never truly belong to me. But I can't just walk away)
‘нет, Лена, подожди’ (no Lena wait) Nat cried out, she sounds so desperate ‘I lost you once before-I left you once before and I will not let it happen again. I am staying by your side’
The blonde turns as she reaches the door and smiles
‘Наталья. Мы вместе жили в аду. Я никогда не был так счастлив, как в тот день, когда нам сказали, что тебя нет.
Что ваше место может предложить мне, чего у меня здесь нет?
Вот у меня квартира, работа какая-то, место охранять’
‘Home, a family, a place you can be loved, a sister who loves you’ I can feel tears welling up in my eyes-no, wait Nat’s eyes. A few seconds later she speaks again
‘Do you want to hit me’ she sighs
Yelena laughs ‘Of course I do, you’re an idiot.’
‘Lena I-‘ Nat starts
‘No, Natalia, let me speak’ the blonde states and Nat shuts up quickly
‘You just keep doing stupid shit’ Yelena said shaking her head, trying not to cry, especially in front of her sister, even though she had just broken down ‘You don’t think before you do anything. You are my sister, you saved me and protected me, but you left. You left me twice, you left me once and the world once. You said you’d always be there for me and you weren’t!’
‘I don’t regret it. I don’t regret leaving you, or dying-I came back’ the redhead smiles softly
‘What if you didn’t come back? What is you had stayed? Then you would have wasted your life for nothing!’ Yelena isn’t even trying to keep calm anymore, she is angry, angry for the person who saved her to have left without a second glance
‘Well it was worth a try’ Nat smirks
‘Do you not hear yourself?’ Lena sighs
‘I do. I don’t regret it and if it didn’t work then it was worth a try’
Yelena stared at her in disbelief before letting out an annoyed sigh and turned to look out the tiny window, ‘You’re a stupid sister’
‘Two stupid sisters together’ The blonde said nothing about her comment, but instead chose to focus on her breathing and not letting the tears fall too fast.
‘I missed you’ Natasha says softly after a few moments.
‘If you did, you wouldn’t have left… again’ The younger looks at her. Yelena knew she being mean, but seeing the hurt look on her sister’s face, caused the blonde to soften her face.
‘You promised me that you would never leave me’ Lena whispers
‘It’s not like I wanted to and-‘
‘But you did! Every time something happens with the world, you leave. For once can you say fuck the world and think about yourself? Your family? Me?’
Natasha stays silent for a while and Yelena doubts herself slightly, she’d definitely hit a nerve, and as Natasha’s mouth turns crooked in a little smirk that doesn’t reach her eyes she regrets her words
‘Everything I do I do for you, you were my world, you were my little sister, the one I always held, the one I always loved. I only left so I could build a life for you, for us. I just wanted to get my life together, to leave the past so that I could come back and get you. I though you might have liked a nice place to live so I rented a flat. I thought you might like to live, to go to school so I worked. Everything I did, I did so that I would be in a position to come back. To save you. I didn’t want you to be there when I was on the street trying to work, or when I was in reprogramming, having to reline every pain they caused me. I wanted to be in a secure enough place so that I could provide you with everything you wanted, everything you needed, and deserved.
Then weird crap like aliens come out of the sky and I risk my life for you. I risk it because without me doing that there may not be a world for you to live in. I cant stop that-god I wish I could tell aliens to give me a day off but I cant. Then a giant purple grape wants to snap half of the universe away. Half of everything. You could die. I could be snapped. Billions of people could die-just cease to be living. I didn’t think id have to die, I didn’t think I’d have to have a conversation with my best friend about whose going to kill themselves but I couldn’t let Clint do it. It was me or him. Me or billions of people.
When I was falling I thought about everyone and I knew that even if I wasn’t there, you guys would be and that’s what made falling so worth it’
Natasha stopped to take a breath, and wipe the tears that she didn’t know were falling,
‘So for the hundredth time, I’m sorry for sacrificing myself because I love everyone. I’m sorry that you felt as if I left you again. I’m sorry that I loved you so much that I left the only life I knew, and the only family I knew to start my life in a country, that our government hated, because I loved you enough to want to give you a better life Yelena’
The red head reached for the door handle and opened the door slightly before looking back her little sister, ‘Sorry that loving you makes me do stupid things’
And with that Nat walks out of her sisters life.
Again.