Chaos
‘Its not until halfway through the museum, they get a surprise encounter. After the board on the Battle of London. Val sees Peter’s body language change slightly
The Boy tilts his head up slightly and makes an eagle sign with his hands.
I grab then attention of the group then holds up my fingers and counts down 5…4…3…2…
CRASH
Clint Barton lands on the floor with a resounding thud. Everyone but the three of us jump. Val smirks.
‘Well, well, well Mr Barton, what are you doing?’ she laughs
‘Fuck you Iris I was trying to land on you, ya little shit’ he states standing up and brushing himself off, glaring humorously at me
‘Language’ FRIDAY calls in Caps voice (the Avengers had put in place No more Clints Protocol in place after us ‘kids’ moved in to try and stop us from picking up on the other’s bad language-it has just spurred us to cuss more)
‘H…el…lo Mr Barton Hawkeye Mr Clint Sir’ Mr Harrington splutters, confused and surprised at the fact an Avenger just fell out of the ceiling and is swearing around his measly tour group
‘Wow’ the archer looks surprised ‘Change my name to Mr Barton Hawkeye Mr Clint Sir please FRIDAY’ Then he turns to the flabbergasted teacher ‘Cant I pop into this little trip’ he grins
‘No’ Val says shorty
‘pleeeease’ he begs
‘No’ I repeat, but he remains insistent
‘fine, but all of Buckey’s cookies have now spontaneously vanished and have all been eaten’ he raises an eyebrow at our aghast expressions
‘you wouldn’t dare’ I whisper, a ball of dawn glowing in my right hand, I hear whisper behind me and the click of a few cameras but The Winter Soldier’s cookies are more important than a bunch of school kids
‘Fine’ Val takes over ‘So who would like to have Mr Barton answer a few questions’
The archer complies-sparingly, he only answers a 6 and with the shortest answers possible
‘Why do you use a bow and arrow’
‘Because I like it’
‘How do you always hit target’
‘Practise’
‘How many languages do you know’
‘3’ he signs ‘But I can swear in 11’ he adds in English
‘You know sign language?’
‘yes’
‘Why?’
‘I am deaf’
‘How are you hearing us now’
‘I have ear buds made by tony’
‘Who is your favourite Avenger'
For this one he thinks for a moment, then looks at us mockingly ‘Red and Val are huggeeee buzz kills and eat all the cookies’ he winks at the gang then, with outwarning or goodbye, jumping back into the vents.
In a trice Val has whipped out her sword, she jabs the vents ‘you better save those baked goods bird brain or I’ll tell Nat it was you that lost her 6th favourite knife’ she threatens and a n audible gulp is heard as he scampers away.
‘Whatever, onwards’ I call, leading the group to the lift, and up to the intern labs
Just before the door opens Val turns around.
‘Warning-these are the intern labs, basically gay gen z shits who share a single braincell between them locked up with a bunch of explodables and a coffee machine so… yeah’ she trails off as the lift pings and doors open to what can only be described as chaos.
Alice is screeching on the floor at something on fire (I honestly swear to god I have no idea what it is or was) while Harley wields a fire-extinguisher in a way that would make DUM-E proud. Billie is lying on the floor calmly chanting
‘God take me, its my time. Take me, Take me’
While another is calmly pouring skittles into a cup of coffee and then dumping it into a large stack of papers while her companion sobs to the side
‘Welcome to hell’ Brunn throws open her arms as everyone’s jaw drops
‘IMMA BAD BITCH YOU CANT KILL ME’ Alice screams then looks up
‘Gay motherfuckers!’ she yells, catching sight of Val, peter and I ‘we need help and caffineeeeeee’
Brunn rolls her eyes and leads the group further into the mass of mentally breaking down kids
‘EVERYONE SHUT UP’ she yells and at once Billie stops chanting to God, Harley drops the fire extinguisher with a thud and the skittle-coffee person gently places the cup on the table and places an arm around her partner
‘Thank you, right’ Val starts issuing orders ‘Alice please stop screeching and help Harley clean up whatever was on fire and update the board. Billie, stop pleading with God, it never works-I’ve tried, he’s a shit listener. May and Henri, please stop pouring skittly coffee on your research, burning is more effective, along with blowing it up. This is the tour group so please introduce yourself with out corrupting them’ and she flop down on the desk rubbing her temples
‘Urghh fine’ Henri (the sobbing person) groans and sidles over to the teacher, who by this point looks like jumping out a window, bearing in mind he seems to be an organised, homophobic control freak this is must be hell for him.
‘Right, Im Alice she/her pronouns, I am stuck in this lab with a gang of shits and my partner’
‘Im Henri they/them pronouns, we burn things and try to solve problems we haven’t even invented yet cus the list of problems we have discovered is too big’
‘What do you mean the board’ Betty yells out and Alice grins
‘We are the Kaboom lab, best known for fires and explosions, our board is how we count. This year so far we are on 4,834, or record for a week is 106 and that was todays 3rd’ she smiles proudly
‘But you have stuff to do so follow me’ Henri calls, leading the group over to a not burned/exploded/covered in slime bench (very rare) that has a large box of spare parts on it.
‘Make a robot that does something interesting’ they instruct ‘You have 30 minutes and the person that wins will be able to have lunch with an avenger’
At this the group practically exploded themselves, and scrabbled for the box. I join Val sitting to the side and after 30 minutes of helping the clean up operation Alice finally calls time on the kid’s projects.
‘Okay tools down, we have a special guest come to join us for judging’ she announces ‘please welc-‘ but she is shut off by the elevators slamming open and Shuri bursting in like a hurricane with a megaphone (bad combo) yelling
‘CHICKENS ARE FRIENDS NOT FOOD JUNE’ at May, who had just sat down to eat her salad in peace… or not
‘Who the heck are you’ flash yells, whose clearly had enough at being proved wrong this tour
‘ohhhhh’ Shuri draws out the sound and saunters up the to boy
‘I take it this is the banana-brain-idiot-phyco-bully’
‘yep’ Val states, hopping off the counter ‘but there a murder list get in line’
Flashes (the the teachers) eyes open wide and he gapes like a fish
‘I’m third after Val and Red’ Shuri confirms, then turns back to the boy ‘ehehehe, the plot McThickensTM WATCHYOBACKBITCH’ she whispers, staring at him ominously while backing out of the room
‘Shurrr’ I yell after her and she pokes her head back around grinning
‘Loving the dramatic exit and all but you haven’t introduced your self or judged the competition’
‘oops’ she states, then brings the rest of herself into the room and fake bows at Peter and I
‘Fianceés’ she announces dramatically ‘I am Princess Shuri of Wakanda’ gasp go around and Flash yells again
‘How does Puny Parker know and be engaged to an actual Princess’
‘He made the same mistake as me!’ I smile, happy to know someone is as stupid as me, Shuri growls and takes a step forward
‘Murder Line remember’ Val reminds her and pulls the princess back
‘Fine, whatever, Red and Pete are idiots and accidentally proposed to me so they are my finaceés. Now let’s judge!’#
The round goes weirdly, loads of peoples tried to make dancing robots with varying levels of success, Ned and MJ’s is awesome and charges your phone by holding it, but when we get to Flash’s things get interesting
‘Nope’ Shuri states, breezing straight past it
‘What do you mean nope?’ Mr Harrington argues quickly, Shuri turns to him eye brow raised
‘I mean, Flash’s is the best, why do you say no’ he hesitates but Shuris expression doesn’t change ‘your majesty’ he adds and she rolls her eyes
‘it’s the same as Peters’ she explains, but still the teacher argues
‘Its totally different, look at it’
‘On the outside, yes. But the mechanics and code is practically identical’ she prods the machine (which is supposed to fetch and carry cups of tea and thing) and it’s arm falls off with a crash
‘see. Worst. Next’ she announces and looks at Peters
‘Awww it’s so cute’ She greets the robot who beeps in response
‘I would say Peter wins but he already lives with these shitheads’ she waves vaguely in the area of Val and I ‘So MJ and Ted, ya win’
Then she picks up the small robot ‘I am adopting him’ Peter gasps
‘You cant take my baby’ He argues but she grins
‘He’s called PETE-R and will live with me forever and ever’ and strides out of the room, PETE-R beeping sadly in her arms
‘Well, that’s Shuri’ Val states ‘Let’s carry on’
Everyone files out of the lab with awe-struck expressions on their faces, as we enter the lift FRIDAY/’s voice rings out
‘Scary gays #2 and #3 Tin Can has asked me to remind you their tour includes a lab tour-I recommend yours’
I groan ‘but I don’t want small sticky children in my workspace’ nut the elevator overrides my command and wizzes us up to the private labs
‘Fine. FRIDAY let them in’ They trickle in slowly, staring with open mouths at the blueprints an holograms and unassembled suits
‘Right, welcome to candyland’ Val states ‘Let’s start the tour’ She picks up a small object littered on my desk
‘This is a highly explosive item’
‘nope’ I giggle
‘knife’
‘no’
‘a vemon spirty thingy’
‘not yet’
‘a…gun… that’s my final guess’
I narrow my eyes ‘It’s a pen honey’ laughing I snatch the painted biano off my red girlfriend and turn to the group
‘This is why I usually do not let her in our lab’ I carry on ‘This is the lab I share with spiderman, Peter, Val-on strict no-touching explosive stuff rule and Shuri when she drops by. This is a suit, as is this and those are Shuri awesome hand blaster thingamigigs’ I say pointing around the room
‘I’ve got stuff to do so feel free to look around and stuff, no touching things that look dangerous-they probably are, and no touching things that don’t look dangerous-they’ll kill you’ I confirm
I settle down in the corner, occasionally looking up to death glare a few kids when they try to slip something into there pocket while looking around the room.
After about half an hour I hulk-proof the lab and lead the group to where loads of chair are set out and roll my eyes, internally cursing Stark and my entire existence
‘Right, so as a scientific marvel’ I frown as Val snorts in the background ‘Im now going to do a power demo and Q and A about my powers so’ I wave my arms around ‘ask questions’
Literally everyone except Peter shoves their hand in the air and I pick out a tall girl at the front
‘What are your powers’ she asks specifically
‘urmmm telekinesis’ I narrow my eyes trying to remember ‘so I can move stuff with my eyes, glow randomly, have heightened senses and super strength, I also can mentally manipulate you, we haven’t treid much yet so im not sure quite how much I can do but I can change people’s mood and make them feel really angry, or sad if I want-do you want a demo?’
The entire group nods and I call Val over ‘I need a guinea pig’ She smirks at me and in a flash a small fluffy guinea pig is sitting on the floor where Val was a moment ago
‘wow, literal but ill pick one of you’ immediately Peter turns bright turn and I turn to him with a sickly sweet smile
‘Parker, up here please’ I ask and he groans
‘noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo’
‘That was an order Parker’ I smrik again and he groans again
‘you aren’t Maria, you cant order me around’ he pouts up I raise an eyebrow at him, dragging his feet up to the front I sit him in front of me
‘so basically im going to manipulate Pete’s mind into thinking its really tired’ Peter sticks his tongue out at me but I just return the gesture and place a glowing palm on his forehead. He crumples underneath me and falls, dead sleep onto the chair, his class mates gasp and MJ whips out a sketch book and begin to scribble furiously
‘yeh so, this is it’ I poke Peter and he snores loudly ‘we haven’t worked out how we wake him up yet so he’ll just kinda come around’
I podge him again ‘Peterrrrrrrrr’ he snores loudly and bats me away
‘peterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr’ I try again
‘’o a’ay m’r s’ark I’s wanna sleep’ he murmmers and Val snorts loudly, coming over and also prodding him
‘iswanna sleep ‘ncle steve’ he slurs again and I have an idea
‘Peter, Clint is in the vents above your lab, he is about to dump 4 kilos of glitter and 47 tubs of slime onto your workspace’ I say quickly and suddenly the boy sits blot up right
‘Im going to fcking kill birdbrain’ he yells then turns bright red as he realises the situation, then turns to be with a look of pure betrayal on his face
‘Val is now my favourite sister’