Tony lifts his gaze up from the blueprints of the newest version of his Iron Man armor as he hears the light ‘ding’ from the elevator. Instantly his palms go moist as he waits for the boy to get out of the elevator. Absentmindedly Tony fiddles with a screw in his hand, not really knowing how to position himself. The nervousness he feels when he even thinks of the following encounter seizes his throat in a crushing grip.
Has it really been just two months since he’s last seen the kid? It feels like light years to Tony. The man winces at the thought. He doesn't want to think about how empty his lab has felt without the kid, or how miserably empty his days have been without the routine they had created together. Missing the kid has been a constant suffocating weight on his chest, even if he knows he had done the right thing back then. Or knew. He’s not so sure anymore now that things have calmed down. All he knows for certain is that for the first time in a long time it seems like he might finally be able to breathe just a little better. Now that he’ll see the kid again.
Guilt curls in Tony’s stomach when he remembers he’s the reason for the falling out. This ray of sunshine that had graced Tony’s life ever since the man took a steadier role in the kid’s life had been taken from him, for ransom of all things. And it had been Tony’s fault. Some scumbag had found out how close the engineer was to the kid and saw it as his chance to score a few millions. The week of not knowing where his kid was or whether he was okay, apart from the proof of life pictures of Peter’s bruised face, was the worst thing Tony had ever had to go through in his almost 50 years of life.
With the help of the other Avengers Tony had eventually found him and the kid was thankfully okay, warm, and alive, and Tony had decided right then that that would be the first, as well as the last, time that anything like that happened. So in his panic Tony did the one thing his frantic brain deemed necessary to keep the boy safe. He cut all ties. Well, not all. He let the kid keep the suit for the man’s own peace of mind, but he made sure no one would see Peter Parker and Tony Stark together ever again. Until now. Until the kid hadn’t shown up to any of the check ups Tony had set up for him with Helen Cho and had gone radio silent with Happy too. After a month of no contact Tony started calling the kid again. For two weeks the kid didn’t pick up any of his, Pepper’s, Happy’s, Rhodey’s or any of the other Avenger’s calls. A quick check told Tony the kid hadn’t worn his suit since the kidnapping either.
And Tony had realized he had made a mistake. A horrible, unforgivable mistake that he needed to make right. The kid had been kidnapped, which had been a fucking traumatizing event in itself and then on top of that Tony had just left him to deal with it own his own. The kid's broken expression still haunts him whenever he closes his eyes at night, making it impossible for him to sleep. The image of the kid, face wet with tears of betrayal, is forever seared into Tony’s brain.
The engineer had been nothing but persistent though. He called May too and apologized like his life depended on it but the only thing the woman had to say to him was to give them space and let Peter come to Tony on his own. “Or not, if that’s what he chooses. You really hurt him, Stark.” Wasn’t that like a damn punch to the gut.
Isn’t that what you wanted though? For him to stay away. The ugly voice in his head had supplied.
No! Well, yes, but not like this. Not really. I was just… scared.
Scared.
The word had used to leave a sour taste in Tony’s mouth. He has never liked to admit to being scared. “Stark men are made of iron, Anthony!” His father chastised him when Tony had broken his wrist for the first time and cried about it.
But Tony had gotten tired. Tired of never amounting to the greatness that was Howard Stark. Well, fuck Howard. Tony had been scared. In fact,he had been terrified. Petrified of one day being the reason that would get the best thing in his life killed. He still is, just as scared. So who cares if Tony is not made of iron. Why would it matter if he’s made of fucking cotton candy and feathers instead.
But if Tony is one thing, he’s a genius, which means he’s not stupid. Peter is not his kid. Not biologically. He doesn’t have a legal claim over the teen and if Peter had decided that he wouldn’t have wanted to see Tony ever again, then there would have been nothing he could have done. It wouldn’t have mattered if it had killed him, he would have had to let Peter go.
Somehow, though, something, someone out there had heard Tony and granted him yet another miracle.
--- The start of flashback ---
Peter has sent him a text. It is just one word, but it is an olive branch if Tony has ever seen one. The text simply says “what?” and it does nothing to ease Tony’s worry an inch, but the man decides he won’t look a gift horse in the mouth and grabs the branch.
The kid is obviously still mad at Tony and any attempt on Tony’s part to try and make up over the phone probably won’t be well received. He needs to think of something else, something the kid won’t be able to refuse. The only thing Tony can think of is Spider-man. But it’s different knowing that the kid hasn’t been using the suit. The billionaire knows the kid though. He knows why Peter goes out there and fights the scum of Queens almost every night. The kid wouldn’t give it up cause he just doesn’t care anymore, or because he’s mad at Tony. Something else is going on. Trauma? The man's stomach tightens when the word pops up in his head. A kidnapping could do it. A flare of anger at himself ignites in Tony’s chest. He got the boy kidnapped, then left him with the trauma, possibly even PTSD, and now the boy could be dealing with a special cocktail of hell in his head.
He has to try though. The kid will still care about Spider-Man. He has to. So Tony fabricates a story of how he had come up with new codes for Peter’s suit and would need it at the tower to install the updates. The man figures it is a long shot but low and behold, the kid agrees to come up to the tower, and they set up a meeting in two weeks. Two weeks that feel like an eternity.
--- The end of flashback ---
Tony rolls his shoulders back, a nervous habit he does when he’s uncomfortable. He’s practically vibrating with anxiety and he really can’t figure out where to place his hands. God, he’s a damn wreck. Every cell in his body is begging him to put an end to this and do it another day when he’s more ready, but he can’t. It’s already too late and Peter is here. He needs to do this, he needs to see the kid. He gently throws the screwdriver from one hand to the other but stills when the doors finally open. And when they do part, revealing the boy, the only thing Tony can hear is deafening static. It feels like a bucket of ice water has been dunked over his head because Tony is in shock. He’s sure his eyes are deceiving him or perhaps he’s having some sort of a stroke and his brain is conjuring up images that are not real because Tony can’t be seeing what he’s seeing.
It’s Peter, Tony knows this, but the sight in front of him doesn’t register because the kid, he, he looks... Well, for a lack of a more pleasant mental image, the kid looks dead. Like someone ready to be buried, never to be seen again. Tony almost gags at the thought. Peter’s hair is a little longer, which is not bad, just different, unusual and it makes him look older in a way. It’s the dark circles underneath the dull, once bright, brown eyes and the fact that the kid is as skinny as a fucking skeleton, that nearly makes Tony recoil. It’s Peter but it isn’t… It isn’t his Peter. There’s no boyish glint in the corner of his eye anymore, no baby fat on his cheeks and his whole demeanor is all wrong. The boy that once seemed larger than life has somehow fizzled into something so small. Tony feels nauseous.
The teenager's eyes widen at the sight of the billionaire and he looks at Tony like he’s a mirage. Like he’s not real, like he’s not really there. It breaks Tony’s heart. Suddenly, though, Peter goes impossibly tense, snaps his gaze away from Tony and instead fixes his eyes on the polished floor of the lab. Tony fights to keep his expression neutral but it's proving to be harder with every step the kid takes closer to Tony. So much for breathing any easier.
“Mr. Stark?” The boy’s voice is only a little louder than a whisper, and Tony feels his skin crawl unpleasantly. Tony feels like he’s stepped into a nightmare or is talking to a shapeshifter or something, because this is not his Peter. His Peter comes to the lab, radiating barely contained energy, talking a mile a minute. He snarks at Tony when he’s mad, and he cries when he’s upset. This Peter though… is so little in the spacious room. This Peter seems like the shell of the kid he knows, like all the parts that make him his Peter have been sucked out, only leaving behind this quiet, hollow exterior that Tony doesn’t recognize. With a palpitating heart Tony realizes this may very well not be his Peter anymore. The thought nearly makes him flinch. It feels wrong. No. Whatever this is, he can... He’s a mechanic, he can fix it, he fixes things, that’s what he does.
Tony fights to muster a smile on his face and he hopes the kid can’t see how utterly forced it is. “Hey, kid. Long time no see huh?”
The corner of the teens face twitch in a ghost of a smile and he spares a quick glance at the older man. When it becomes clear Peter is not going to reply, Tony clears his throat awkwardly. “How have you been, bud?”
The boy merely shrugs. “Uh, I’ve been okay, sir.”
Sir? Tony narrows his eyes slightly and tilts his head a little. “Just okay?”
Peter almost jolts, braving a frantic glance at Tony and starts fiddling with his fingers nervously. “No! I mean, uh, no, I’ve been good. I’ve been good, sir.” he quickly corrects himself, making Tony feel that much worse. The unfamiliar behavior makes the man’s heart skip a beat. It’s like the kid truly believes that this is what he is supposed to say, like he believes that this is what Tony wants to hear even though everyone, their children, and their pets can see that Peter is not okay, at all. And ‘sir’? When was the last time the kid had called him ‘sir’? A few times after homecoming? Over half a year ago. Tony definitely has not missed that.
Before Tony can voice this, Peter speaks up again. “I know why I’m really here.”
Tony quirks a brow. “Yeah?”
Peter seems to have somewhat calmed down and he spares another quick peek at the billionaire. “It’s about the check-ups, right?” he inquires softly and continues, “I’m sorry I haven’t gone to any but you can tell Helen that I don’t need them. I’m fine, Mr. Stark.” At this, a bizarre sense of bewilderment fills Tony and ugly irritation burns in his chest. Has the kid not looked into any mirrors in the past two months? Fine? The kid is so far from fine that the word has ceased to even exist at this point.
Tony shakes his head stubbornly, “Bud, I don’t know about that.” he counters, “You don’t look too good. Let Helen check you over, okay?” Tony tries but this time Peter shakes his head, wild ringlets of hair bouncing around. “No,” he declines. “I-I’m sorry but I’m not going to do it, sir.”
There he goes with the 'sir' again. Tony feels lost, so completely and utterly lost he doesn’t know whether he should cry or laugh. He can’t hold it in any longer.
“I’m so sorry, Peter.” he blurts suddenly and Peter’s eyes meet Tony’s again. This time they’re not averted away immediately. “For everything,” he keeps going, “for that piece of sh- crap that took you. For this, for pushing you away, kid, I’m so sorry. I should’ve never left you like that.”
The kid grows impossibly tense again, and pins his gaze back on the floor. “It’s okay,” he mutters like it’s no big deal but Tony can see the forced nonchalance. This is not going at all how he had pictured in his head. “No kid, it’s no-”
“Honestly, Mr. Stark, I understand.” Peter states, a trace of firmness finding its way to his voice. “I get it, sir.” The boy is not even looking at Tony and somehow this complete, emotionless dismissal feels worse than any other reaction could have.
He almost stomps his foot. “You don’t Peter! I’m trying-”
“It’s getting late, Mr. Stark.” Peter cuts him off. “May’s gonna be home soon, and I have stuff to do.”
“Peter, please. I need you to hear me out.”
The teenager does quiet down, but now it looks like he’s completely zoning out of the conversation. Like anything Tony will say is going to go in on one ear and out the other. Tony doesn’t stop though. He’ll make the kid listen.
Tony lets out a shuddering breath. “I screwed up. I screwed up with you, Peter.” He cuts the boy off when he can see Peter is about to protest. “Yes, I did, and don’t tell me that it’s okay. It’s not okay. What I did was selfish, stupid and so unbelievably cruel that I will never be able to make up for it. Hey, please bambino listen to me.”
The nickname makes the boy flinch but now Tony can see he’s beginning to listen, so he continues. “I did it to keep you safe and I know, to you, it doesn’t seem like it. You’re literally the best thing on this earth, and-”
“Don’t,” The kid protests weakly, and to Tony's horror he's eyes grow wet. Great, the kid has been here for what, five minutes? And Tony has already made him cry. But despite this, he knows he needs the boy to hear him out. “I’m not going to be able to live with myself if something happened to you because of me. I just- I freaked out and went so wrong about the whole thing. So I’m sorry, kid. You don’t have to forgive me but I need you to know I really am, so, so sorry..”
There’s a heavy silence left after Tony’s speech and the only thing that can be heard in the large space is the man’s shaky breathing. Ever so slowly, Tony can see a lone tear trail down Peter’s cheek and the boy is quick to wipe it away before it can drip down his chin. When the teen finally speaks up, his voice is small, a mere whisper. “It’s okay.”
It’s a lie, what it is. He can still recognize when the boy is not being completely honest, and the waver in his voice rats him out. He doesn’t dare to call the kid out on it, but instead sends him a sad smile. “It’s not, kid.” Frankly the kid’s stubborn denial feels like a stab in the gut. Once again he’s reminded that he did this. Peter is just standing there at what he feels is a safe distance and all Tony wants to do is hold him. Which is a thought that chills him to the bone. He never used to think like this. He used to shy away from physical contact, unless it was in the form of a one night stand or a pat on the back from Rhodey. Then Pepper happened and as an icing on the cake Spider-Man brought his plane down, Forcing Tony to finally take the hint and keep a closer eye on the local hero. After that, somewhere along the way something happened and now Tony can't even think of not wanting to hold the boy. It truly is a peculiar thing, how people can have the power to change you so fundamentally, if you give them a chance.
He dips his head to try and catch Peter’s eye. “It will be, though. It’ll be okay. Maybe not right now but someday, yeah?”
The boy finally looks up but only for a second before his gaze goes back to look at the floor and he tenses up again. Like the man had said just the wrong thing. The boy closes up, avoiding the man’s gaze once again, as if the mere glimpse of him feels unbearable. Tony's heart breaks for the hundredth time and it's beginning to bother him. Before the whole fiasco, the kid had always looked him in the eye when the man talked to him. This is such an un-Peter-like thing to do it's almost chilling. What could have happened in just two months?
You did, that small voice in his head whispers again. Tony isn’t stupid, though. There is something else, something he’s not seeing but can feel. Nevertheless, he will figure it out. After all, he's known to be quite determined when he wants to be.
However, before Tony can continue, Peter suddenly draws in a deep breath, straightens his back and changes the topic completely, giving Tony whiplash. "You, uh, you asked me to bring the suit, so um, here you go," Peter rummages through the bag and pulls out a neatly folded Spider-man suit, quickly sneaking a glimpse of Tony's face before looking down at the suit as if Tony's gaze had burned him.
What?
Once again, Tony is at a loss for words. He’s amazed, bemused and horrified by Peter's ability to just derail the whole interaction like he’s afraid of becoming too vulnerable. It sets off warning bells in the man’s head. Something that had never once been an issue before this whole shitshow. And before Tony can direct them back to the earlier conversation, Peter continues. "Not to be disrespectful or anything but I'm really happy with the suit as it is, sir." he states quietly. "I know the updates you have designed are probably really great but I don't think I really need them, you know. The suit is already amazing."
Tony can see the way Peter's hands tremble ever so slightly as the boy says this and he notices the frown on the boy's face. He really wants to talk about the suit and the reasons for why the kid isn’t using it, but he figures the kid has already deflected one profound conversation, and he might very well do it again. It feels like walking on a wire, any wrong thing to say might send him off the thing and down to his demise. He needs to thread carefully. The genius tries for a light-hearted approach. "What do you mean probably? I’m Tony Stark, remember?" Tony crosses his arms playfully, a small smirk grazing his lips. The response from the malnourished looking boy is definitely not what the man had expected. Instead of smiling or even laughing, like Tony would have wanted, the kid grows even more pale and his eyes grow wider, if possible.
The kid finally manages to look at Tony and the man winces at the look on Peter's face as it's nothing short of pleading. "No! N-no, sir! I- I didn't mean it like that, I-"
Tony swiftly raises his hands in front of him in a surrendering manner, and it takes everything in him not to comment on the small flinch the action causes in the boy. "Hey, hey, it's okay Pete, I'm joking around," the genius lets out a forced chuckle, trying to alleviate the tense atmosphere.
"Ah, right, sorry, sir." Peter replies and, to Tony's dismay, settles his gaze back on the floor. The man is out of his depth here. What did he do to make the boy be so damn afraid of him? He remembers hugging Peter goodbye. He tries to rack his brain for any instance where the boy could have felt even the slightest bit intimidated by him. The only thing Tony can think of is when he took the suit after the ferry incident, but that happened ages ago, or that's what it feels like to Tony, at least. Other than that, Tony is drawing a blank. There is no reason why the boy should be this afraid of the man, but he is. He seems terrified and Tony doesn't know how to fix it. Sure the boy is still very upset with him but it doesn’t explain this whole subdued demeanor. Tony can’t believe that being angry and upset equals being this terrified. "It's okay kid, it's been a while," Tony says, trying for a more meaningful tactic. "C'mon" he signals for Peter to follow him. "I can talk you through how I develop and install the updates."
Tony moves to walk towards the computers but stops when Peter stays rooted in the same spot. The kid glances at Tony again, radiating hesitance. "Uh, no, it's okay. I can come back and get the suit later. I know you're busy." The boy says, mustering a small smile, and Tony would be lying if he said it didn't feel like an arrow right through his heart. The kid had never turned down an opportunity to tinker in the lab. The months apart have definitely done a number on their previously easy relationship. Or the abandonment, the voice plaques him. He ignores it.
"Nonsense, I'm never too busy for you, Pete," he quips and Tony curses at himself just as the words leave his stupid, fat mouth. It’s beginning to look like he can’t say anything right today. Peter looks like he wants to argue too and say "are you sure about that" but bites his tongue and instead tries for a smile. Tony feels irritation bubbling underneath his skin. He wants Peter to yell, to scream and cuss him out, to punch him in the face, or to do anything, anything other than looking at Tony with those sad eyes like he believes everything is all his own fault.
"Really, kid, I insist."
Finally Tony can see a little bit of Peter's resolve crumble and then the boy is following Tony to the computers. And they spend the next fifteen minutes looking at the screens as Tony explains the intricate process of the updates and talks Peter through everything he can think of. Peter still stays quiet, with the exception of a few "okays" and absentminded hums. The boy looks like he isn't following at all but like he is trying to solve a difficult puzzle in his own head instead. Tony doesn't mention it, though. Hell, he isn't gonna say anything now that the kid is standing closer to him rather than the five feet distance he has kept so far.
And for a while it's peaceful. It's nothing like it used to be, but it’s a definite improvement from the previous lack of communication.
After the updates are installed in the suit, Tony detaches it from the computers and hands it over to Peter. "So, now that's done, how do you feel about pizza? I'm starving." It’s a half assed attempt to get Peter to eat since he full well knows Peter is not stupid. He can practically see the walls around Peter grow higher as the kid's face falls and he briefly glances at Tony like he expects the man to attack any minute now. "Uh, no thank you Mr. Stark. This, everything with the suit, the updates, it's- this is already more than I could ask for. I appreciate it, sir, I really do but I have to get going."
Tony wants to fight him. It is a shocking thought but it’s not untrue. He doesn’t understand why the kid won’t just talk to him and he doesn't want Peter to leave. Not now when Tony is still not any closer to figuring out what is wrong with the kid.
"Wait, Pete-" the man tries but gets interrupted as the kid stuffs the suit back in the backpack and moves to leave.
"Thanks, Mr. Stark. For everything."
It sounds a disturbingly lot like goodbye.
"No, hold on, kid."
Tony makes a hasty decision and moves to stand in front of Peter, stopping the boy from leaving. The kid glances at the man again, at last showing another emotion than fear. The boy's expression is clouded by annoyance that he is trying so desperately to hide. Tony doesn't relent.
"I tried walking on eggshells, clearly it was no use. But, bud, I need to know what's going on, okay? I can see you're not fine, no matter how bad you're stuck on lying to me about that, I can tell when something's up with you, Pete." A ramble of words all but escape Tony's mouth, but he can't help it. He needs to keep Peter at the tower.
The doe-eyed boy shakes his head and Tony can see he's growing agitated. Good, he thinks shamefully. Before this fiasco, Tony never wanted to see the kid upset but right now, anything is better than the small demeanor the kid has been portraying so far.
"I'm not lying," the boy's voice is warbled and he glares at the ground.
Tony smiles sadly. "I can still tell when you are, kid. You're still upset with me, and rightfully so, but I can see something else is going on, too."
Peter squeezes his hands into fists at his sides, his cheeks flushing red. "Nothing is going on. I need to go Mr. Stark."
Tony shakes his head. "No, kid, I need to know what's going on with you."
The boy's breaths grow shorter as his face scrunches up in anger. "Let me go."
Peter tries to side step Tony but the man blocks the kid again. Somewhere in the back of his head he realizes what he's doing is wrong on so many levels but the concern for the teen outweighs any rationality he might possess.
"No."
A groan of annoyance leaves the boy's mouth as he rubs his face with the hand that is not holding the strap of the bag. "You can’t do this. Let me go!" Peter's voice rises and he finally locks eyes with Tony, his gaze blazing with an untamed electricity. Tony almost relents. Almost.
"No." He feels like a broken record, and it chips away the last remnants of the kid's resolve.
“Argh, you’re not my fucking dad!” Peter’s scream echoes through the lab and both males go silent. Tony looks at Peter with a shocked expression while the teenager's chest puffs with furious breaths. He doesn’t- he knows-
The boy doesn’t stop, but lets out an angry hiss.
“Fuck you.”
It might as well have been a gunshot with the way Tony flinches. If Peter sees it, he doesn’t show it or simply doesn’t care.
“I hate you.” a sob escapes through the teen’s mouth. “I hate you.” More sobs fall through his lips before he’s screaming. “I hate you! ” tears stream down the boy’s face again and he wraps his skinny arms around his stomach in what looks like a desperate attempt to keep himself together. “Why- w-why…” he stutters through choked hiccups. Tony’s heart is trying to jump out of his chest with the way it’s racing. He takes a hasty stride towards the boy but Peter flinches away violently. "Don’t touch me!" Tony cringes at the anguish in Peter's voice and can see the boy's eyes go wet. Tony feels a pang in his chest at the unmistakable pain written across Peter's face as the kid begins to hyperventilate. Tony decides right then and there he'd rather die than ever see this beautiful, wonderful kid look so painfully miserable again.
He tries to reach for the teenager again. “Peter, I-”
The teen jumps away from Tony like he had been electrocuted. "Don't touch me!" Peter yells with the remaining air in his lungs and digs his fingers in his arms. A broken "no, please" escapes through the boy's lips as he sinks to the floor on his knees and starts shaking. Soon the boy's breaths grow even more rapid and then he's barely getting any air. A panic attack, Tony realizes, his heart in his throat, and he feels like a complete piece of shit.
The man closes the distance in a hurried stride and crouches down in front of Peter. He puts a hand on Peter's shoulder to comfort him but as soon as the man's hand touches the kid, the boy flinches away so violently his back collides with the metal door of the elevator.
"Okay! Okay. I won't touch you, I promise, but you need to calm down kid."
The boy shakes his head frantically. "I can't- can't breath," Peter gasps desperately, eyes squeezed shut.
"Yes, you can. Look at me, Peter." Tony demands. The teen’s lashes part, revealing wet honey brown eyes, and he looks at Tony, wheezing. "You're okay. I promise. It's a panic attack, you need to follow my breathing, look, in-" Tony takes a deep breath in and Peter tries to follow. "-and out" He blows the breath out but it’s clear to him that the kid isn’t hearing a word he says, but is watching Tony with an empty gaze instead.
Tony racks his brain. He looks down at the boy’s white knuckled hands that are still squeezing his own arms in a grip that would surely leave bruises, and gets an idea. "Okay, Pete, I'm gonna take your hand, alright?" The man asks but before Peter has time to protest, he grabs the kid's hand and even though Peter tries to pull away from the hold, Tony keeps a tight grip and places the hand on his own chest. Peter all but recoils at the touch but Tony keeps him put. It does the job and snaps the boy out of the daze.
"You can feel my heart, right? Try to match my breathing." Again, Tony drags in the slowest, deepest breath of air he can muster and then blows it out just as slowly. Although hesitant at first, Peter sifts his fingers a little and finally starts following Tony's breathing. They sit there for a while, frozen in that frail moment. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. The time seems like a foreign concept when Tony only has eyes for the teenager in front of him. After enough repetition, Peter’s breaths slow down and he sags against Tony in exhaustion, his forehead pressed against the man’s collarbone. The man doesn’t hesitate to touch the kid this time, but wraps his arms around the bony figure, pulling Peter closer. It’s an uncomfortable position for Tony’s back but he’s not going to move until the kid wants him to.
Gradually the tears dry out too and Peter sniffles against Tony’s chest quietly. “I’m sorry, Mr. Stark." he croaks. "I don't really hate you.”
The man only hums, his grip not relenting. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. You don’t need to apologize. You’re good, kid.”
Some of the tension returns to the boy’s shoulders and Tony can feel him shake his head. “You don’t know what I’ve done.” It brings a frown to the man’s face. What I’ve done? He needs to know what happened to the kid before he burst a vessel from imagining the worst scenarios his PTSD-riddled brain can think of. It is unsettling to hear so much guilt in the boy’s voice and it has the man’s head going into overdrive, trying to figure out what exactly made the boy feel so awful.
Tony tightens his hold, petting Peter’s back gently. “Can you tell me what it is? I could help.”
The kid tries to push himself out of Tony’s hold. “You’ll hate me. She will hate me.” Peter is growing agitated again and tries to pry his way out of the tight embrace but Tony doesn’t let him. His heart begins to pound again. He places his chin on the curly locks on top of the kid’s head. “Who will hate you? Who is ‘she’? May?”
The kid’s struggle picks up. “Please, sir, you can’t tell her. Please Mr. Stark.”
Tony squeezes the boy, long enough to settle the twitching boy down again. “Hey, calm down, bud.” He can feel the boy’s shuddering breath against his collarbone and he rubs the kid’s back. “Can you please tell me what you did that was so bad? Is it something illegal?” It’s a wild guess, knowing that Peter is literally the most well behaved kid on the planet, but Tony clearly hits a jackpot when Peter goes as still as a statue and moves a hand to grip the front of Tony’s shirt. The man can hear the fresh set of tears in the boy’s voice when he mumbles out a quiet “I think so.”
Tony nods with another soothing hum, thinking it over, and spares a glance at the boy’s wild curls. “Okay,” he says. “Then I’ll get you out of it.” Peter shakes his head immediately and his words are muffled by the fabric of Tony’s shirt where the boy has his face pressed against the man’s chest. “You can’t.”
“Of course, I can. I’m Tony Stark, when have you ever seen me not get my way?”
Peter’s determined resolve that's hell bent on keeping this secret starts to crack and Tony tries to stay calm now that the boy might finally tell him what’s wrong. The kid sniffles again. “B-but then you’ll know. You’ll hate me.” And it’s time for the billionaire to shake his head. “I can promise you I won’t. You could kill a hundred puppies and even then I wouldn’t hate you. I might be slightly horrified, yes, but I wouldn’t hate you. It’s just not a function that exists in my body. I could never hate you.”
Peter stays quiet, mulling over Tony’s words, and Tony tries to lighten the mood again. “Did you kill a hundred puppies?” The wet chuckle that leaves the boy’s mouth is the best sound the man has heard in a long time. “No,” Peter snorts halfheartedly and furrows himself closer to Tony. It’s a quiet few seconds before Peter breaks the silence. “I’ve been hurting May.”
It sounds like a dirty confession and it sends Tony reeling. That can’t be true, the man thinks. He knows for a fact that Peter could never, ever hurt May intentionally. The woman was basically the boy’s mother in everything but blood and the kid loved her like one too.
Tony nods again, slowly. “Okay.” he manages to keep his voice level despite the hurricane of questions swirling around his head. “What have you done that hurts her?”
Peter hesitates again. He fidgets and twitches in Tony's arms but eventually finds the courage to continue. “It’s- I- Skip, her- her boyfriend…”
Tony tries to quell down the panic that threatens to take over his body. May had a boyfriend? Since when? Didn't she have a crush on Happy? Once again Tony is reminded just out of the loop he is when it comes to the Parkers. He should have kept an eye on them, even from afar, but he didn't and now he's paying the prize.
So something happened between Peter and this guy- Skip? Tony cranes his neck to get a better look at the kid. “Did you do something to her boyfriend?” Maybe Peter accidentally hurt the guy? Maybe something happened that made the kid lose control of his powers. Maybe the couple got into an argument that made the kid want to protect his aunt. It could have happened, since Peter is not used to May dating new people, with how fresh the scar about his uncle still is.
The kid shakes his head again and tightens his grip on Tony’s shirt, as if he can tell what Tony is going to ask next, and it sends another surge of Panic down the man’s spine. He swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing nervously. “Did he do something to you?” That opens up the floodgates again and Peter’s whole body trembles with the painful sobs. Tony feels nauseous. Oh god. Oh god. This guy had done something to his kid. Had hurt him. The billionaire’s head feels fuzzy with shock, anger, panic, all the negative feelings he tries to keep at bay. For the life of him he can’t fathom what kind of a sick individual would deliberately want to hurt Peter Parker. Peter Parker who wants the best for everyone, even those who definitely don’t deserve it. And what did this Skip guy do? Is it abuse? Does he abuse Peter? Is that why the kid is skin and bones and, Tony feels disgusted even thinking about the word, submissive?
The man makes the embrace impossibly tight as he cradles the broken teen. “Shh,” he soothes. “You’re okay, I got you. I got you, Pete.”
The sounds the kid makes are so pained Tony feels his own eyes burn. Peter heaves in a rough breath. “It's my fault.”
A hot, scorching flush of anger runs through Tony’s body in an unrelenting heat. “No. No it isn’t.” His voice leaves no room for argument, not that the kid never tried. “Yes, it is. I- I could have pushed him off. I-I’m strong and- and, I could have told May after the first time…” Tony squeezes his eyes shut. No. No, please, no. Not that. Not Peter. Suddenly the kid’s fear of hurting May, not wanting her to know and the whole subdued demeanor makes a sick kind of sense. Of course a kid who takes everything to heart and thinks he carries the weight of the whole world on his shoulders would think that it’s his fault he got molested by someone he should have been able to trust. Or maybe he’s been conditioned. Tony doesn’t know how long this has been going on. Oh god, how long has this been going on? The past two months? Please not the whole two months.
“Fuck,” the word escapes his mouth in a heated hiss. “It doesn’t matter, Pete. It doesn’t matter if you were the strongest kid on earth. You’re 15. He’s a grown ass man that should have never even thought about putting his hands on you.”
The kid still tries to argue. “B-but I-”
“No listen to me, Peter. What he did, was doing, is so, so wrong. It’s not, has never been, will never be your fault. Even if you had wanted it, it’s still wrong. You’re not old enough to consent, and he’s a sick man, kid. It's his fault. He made the decision to hurt you.”
Peter flinches again. “I- I didn’t want it…”
Tony has to hold in a sob. He presses his cheek on top of Peter’s head. “I know you didn’t. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
He feels Peter shrug against him, the kid’s sobs dying down. His voice is still wet when he replies. “It’s okay, you didn’t know.”
It feels like an acid laced knife to the chest. The kid’s still making excuses for Tony even when Tony should have been there to prevent this nightmare from happening in the first place. He’s too good and Tony doesn’t deserve him. “No, but that doesn’t make it okay,” he argues. “I left you when you needed me the most.”
Judging by the kid's lack of a reply, he doesn’t disagree. That is okay. He knows he screwed up, big time, and he’s going to keep making it up to the kid in any way he can, for the rest of his life. His expression turns soft as he looks down at the boy in his arms. “But you will be,” he promises. “I’m here now, and I’m going to help you through this, I swear it.”
A beat of silence.
“Even if I could have stopped it?” Peter whispers nervously, fidgeting with the fabric of Tony’s shirt.
Oh Pete, the man thinks. The mechanic looks down at the teen again, hesitant of what he’s about to do, not really sure how the boy will feel about it but then ever so gently he presses a soft kiss in the kid’s curls. Peter goes even more boneless as he leans his weight on the man’s chest, causing a warm smile to caress Tony’s lips. “No matter what, I promise.”
It’s a promise he’s going to keep. Skip is going to regret ever setting his disgusting, child molester eyes on this amazing, precious kid. He’s going to get Natasha, and any other Avenger that wants to help and they’re going to make the man disappear so Peter never has to worry about him again. Tony is an Avenger, after all. No, he wasn’t there to save the kid, but true to the title he's been given, he’s going to be there to avenge him. And then he’ll get therapists, anything the kid needs to work through this and Tony will be right there with him every step of the way.